by L. G. Davis
“To think that the murderer is still out there is scary.” Connie sighs.
As my pulse starts to race, Rachel pushes back her chair and gets up. “I should go. Thanks...thanks for inviting me.”
“Oh, no.” Linda covers her mouth with her hands, cheeks red. “Please don’t go, sweetie. I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“It’s fine.” Rachel gives us a watery smile. “I shouldn’t have come.”
Everyone takes turns trying to talk her out of leaving, but she shakes her head and walks out. Jared escorts her to the door.
“I feel awful,” Linda says, a hand on her ample chest, fingers splayed.
“You should,” Don scolds. “I told you to stay off the topic.”
“Let’s just...let’s speak about other things,” I say as Jared walks back into the room.
“I think that’s a good idea.” Pretending to be a loving husband, he kisses the top of my head before taking his seat. Then he reaches for my hand and holds it too tight.
“I don’t know if this is the right time, but Kelsey and I want to share some news with you.” His face splits into a grin.
“Really?” Connie claps her hands together. “Good news, I hope.”
“Very good news.” Jared squeezes me tighter. “We are expecting a baby.”
“Is that so?” Don frowns at Jared. “I thought the two of you never wanted kids.”
“That’s what we thought. But we’re ready now. I never thought I’d say this, but I look forward to being a dad.”
“That’s…well, that’s fantastic news. Congratulations to you both.” Don raises his glass in a toast as the candlelight reflects on his glasses. His eyes are still on Jared’s face. “After the last couple of weeks, we could all use some good news.”
“You must be so excited, Kelsey,” Linda says, a smile tugging at her lips. “How far along are you?” She tries to take a peek at my stomach but it’s hidden by the table.
“Only a couple of weeks.” I clasp my hands in my lap as heat floods my cheeks. It’s a good thing Rachel left before the announcement. It would have been too hard to face her. Even if she doesn’t know it’s Victor’s baby, I do.
“No wonder you didn’t touch the wine.” Linda winks at me. “Actually, Mary Jane from Green Grocer’s mentioned she saw you at the gynecologist the other day. She suspected you might be pregnant. But I brushed it off as a rumor. I knew you and Jared never wanted kids.” She gives me a once-over. “I thought you put on a little weight. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but—”
“Linda, that’s enough,” Don warns to stop his wife from running her mouth again. I’m glad he does because I’m fighting the urge to slap her.
I give them all a tight smile and say nothing.
After all the congratulations and everyone patting Jared on the back, Don glances at his watch. “I think it’s time to get the kids home. It’s getting late.”
“Yeah,” Connie says. “We should also get going.” She gets to her feet and reaches for Lewis’s hand. “Let’s go, honey.” When her husband stands, she looks at me. “Kelsey, the meal was amazing as usual. We look forward to the next one.”
As I say goodbye to the guests, my stomach twists with nerves. Their departure means that my night is about to get much darker.
When everyone has left, Jared closes the door and drops the key into his pocket. I no longer have a key. He argues that since I’m no longer allowed to leave the house on my own, there’s no need for me to have one. I hardly leave the house anyway.
He follows me to the kitchen as I clean up. He doesn’t offer to help, just watches me in silence. I wish he weren’t following me around all the time. I would have loved to eat the food Rachel left untouched on her plate.
Even though I’ve had a lot to eat, my stomach still feels empty. My chest aches as I empty the remains into the trashcan and rinse the plate. After all the plates are clean, Jared takes out the trash.
When we go to bed, I expect him to bring up the topic of Jason Marone’s release from custody. He doesn’t.
I can’t stop thinking about it. With the only suspect released, the cops will be on the search for the next one. That person could be me.
I force myself to sleep, but anxiety, hunger, and Jared’s snoring keep me awake until late into the night. I finally give up trying to sleep and slide out of bed.
I notice that Jared didn’t close the bedroom door tonight. Unable to stop myself, I head to the door and leave the room, careful not to make a sound. Without pausing to think about what I’m doing, I head downstairs in the dark and enter the kitchen. The red light under the fridge leads me to it.
The faint aroma of meat and spices still hangs in the air.
My mouth is watering as I reach for the handle. My heart stutters when I tug and the door remains closed. He locked it.
Tears pricking my eyes, I lean forward to press my forehead against the cool door of the fridge. I’m about to step away when I sense the atmosphere in the room change.
Light floods the room and alarm bells go off inside my head.
I turn around and our eyes meet.
“I left the door open to test you,” he says. “I thought I could trust you. I was wrong.” He folds his arms across his chest. “I’m sure you understand that you will be punished for this. I hope you had enough to eat at dinner. The only thing you’ll taste tomorrow is water.”
Chapter 24
I lean against the pillows and pull in several deep breaths. They don’t satisfy my lungs. The air in the room is stuffy and smells of stale breath and Jared’s cologne.
The only piece of furniture left in the room now is the bed. Everything else is gone.
My eyes are fixed on the bars at the windows. It’s dark on the other side of the glass.
The desire to be free again eats at my stomach lining like acid. This is exactly how I used to feel every day when I was in prison.
Even though I still haven’t given up hope that someday I’ll be free again, sometimes I have doubts. As determined as I am to get away from Jared, he’s equally as determined to lock away my freedom.
Three weeks. That’s how long I’ve been his prisoner now. Whether he’s at home or out, I remain inside the bedroom. The only times he gives me permission to leave is to go to the bathroom, once in the morning and once at night. The rest of the time I have to use a red bucket he keeps with me in the room.
The morning after the last dinner we hosted, when he caught me trying to steal food, he took me for a short drive, said he wanted to show me something. When he pulled up in front of the police station, I panicked. He assured me that he did not plan on turning me in as long as I obeyed him.
He forced me to sit with him in the car on the other side of the road for an hour, snapping at me if I looked away from the gray building.
According to Jared, the cops are still on the hunt for the murderer. I don’t want to believe I did it, but Jared showed me a short video from that night, a simple clip that showed me hit Victor with a rock and him falling to the ground. The next scene was of me running. That was it. Nothing on the video showed how it all started, how Victor had followed me, or how he had slammed my head into the ground and raped me when I was unconscious. It only showed the scene Jared is interested in.
I lay a hand on my growing stomach and swallow the lump inside my throat. The only thing that keeps me going is my baby. He or she prevents me from going insane, from losing hope, from being weak.
It’s late at night and Jared has gone to work. Before he locked me inside the room, he gave me my usual dinner of plain bread and a glass of water. I worry that my baby is not getting enough nutrients since I’m not eating a balanced diet, or even enough food to kill my hunger. I never get more than two thin slices of bread a day.
When I think of tomorrow, a flutter of anticipation erupts in my belly. There’s a Flower Festival once a year in Sanlow, attended by almost all the locals and a few tourists. I had totally forgotten about it
until Jared mentioned it when we woke up this morning.
At first, he said we couldn’t go, but when he brought me my food, he mentioned that he had been nominated for the Outstanding Citizen Award, which is given to the person who had volunteered the most in the community over the past year.
“You’re my wife. People will expect you to be there,” he said, his evil eyes sparkling. “I will take you with me, but only if you promise to behave yourself.”
I promise to behave and a few minutes later, he shows me what I’ll be wearing, a flowing baby blue dress with cherry blossoms on the hem.
My main motivation for wanting to go to the festival is because I’ll be surrounded by many opportunities to escape, to merge into the crowds and disappear.
It will be a dangerous game to play, but it could be my only chance to get away. I will never be able to forgive myself if I don’t try.
I spend the rest of the night making mental plans of escape until I’m too exhausted to keep my eyes open. Morning arrives fast and I wake up to find Jared sitting on the bed with my bread and water, which is always served in a yellow plastic cup.
Without a word to me, he rises from the bed and leaves the room. The door slams and the lock clicks.
The bread disappears fast and I take my time drinking the water.
I’ve just emptied the cup when the doorbell rings. My whole body goes tense with anticipation.
The bell rings two more times, then the sound dies. Not long after, I hear voices.
It’s at least half an hour before Jared unlocks the door. “Get dressed,” he orders. He brings my dress to the bed and a pair of cotton underwear. Then he folds his arms and watches me put on the clothes. My body itches to take a shower, but I’m only allowed to wash myself once a week.
“I’m warning you again,” he says when I’m done. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
“I won’t,” I lie.
He glares at me for a long time before he speaks again. “Rachel is downstairs. We’re giving her a lift to the festival. If you don’t want her to know that you killed her husband, you better keep your mouth shut.”
I nod. He doesn’t have to worry about that. Rachel is the last person I’d want to confide in. Where would I even start?
“You do realize that I’m protecting you, right?” He rubs his beard. “I’m the one covering up your crimes. The cops have been sniffing around and I told them we were both home that night. If you tell anyone anything else, you’re on your own. You’ll have no alibi in me.” He lowers his gaze to my belly. “I don’t think you’ll survive life behind bars again, not in your condition.”
“What do you want me to tell everyone?” I ask cautiously, careful not to anger him.
“Greet them as you normally would. If they ask you why they haven’t seen you in a while, tell them you’re having a difficult pregnancy. Most of the time, just shut up and smile.”
“Okay,” I say and follow him out of the room. My heart hammers against my chest as we descend the stairs. I feel faint with each step. My lack of energy has everything to do with the fact that I’m not getting proper meals and exercise.
What if the time comes for me to escape and my body lets me down?
Rachel is wearing a black dress, one that reaches to her ankles and her hair hangs limp on her shoulders. She looks better than she did last time I saw her. The bags under her eyes are still there, but her eyes look more alive.
I greet her with a stiff hug and pull away quickly. As we walk to the car, I notice her glancing at me several times, but she says nothing. I don’t fill the silence.
When Jared starts the car, I look back at the house, hoping it’s the last time I’ll see it.
* * *
To my delight, the town is packed with locals and tourists taking photos of the intricate flower arrangements displayed on dozens of stands.
After we exit the car, Rachel comes to my side and touches my arm.
“Is everything all right with you?” Her eyes are flickering with curiosity.
“Yes,” I say, aware of Jared’s eyes on me as he gets out of the car.
“Oh.” She frowns. “Jared said you were not feeling well. Your pregnancy is tough, huh? It must be hard for a person who likes to be perfect.”
My shoulders tense up. “What do you mean?”
She shrugs. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to offend you. It’s just that before you got pregnant, everything in your life was perfect. Now you’re too sick to host your perfect dinners, or to even leave the house.” She hoists her handbag higher up on her shoulder. “I’m sorry you have to go through that.”
Before I can respond, she walks away to speak to someone she knows and Jared appears at my side.
“It’s time to have some fun.” He kisses me on the cheek and reaches for my hand, leading me into the sea of people.
Chapter 25
The music and the laughter is loud, the air fresh with the scent of blooms. Everyone is bubbling with happiness. Except me.
I’m desperate to get away, to detach myself from Jared, but he’s by my side the entire time, holding my hand.
Each person we come across hears the same story. We are excited about the baby, but I’ve been feeling unwell and we don’t plan on staying long. My throat aches with words I’m dying to say, but I bite my tongue.
As we push our way through the throng of people, Jared puts a tight arm around my waist, his fingers digging into the side of my belly.
“Hungry?” he asks when we walk past a food stand. I don’t respond. I don’t want to seem too desperate for food. He could be testing me.
To my surprise, he pulls out his wallet and buys me a meat pie, then he leads me to two empty chairs.
I’m grateful for something to eat. I need the energy to do what I have to do.
When my tongue comes into contact with the meaty sauce, I swoon inwardly. The food tastes so good I almost forget my plans of getting away. Eating something different from bread and water makes me feel like I’m in heaven.
As soon as the last crumb is gone, the music stops and a male voice booms through the speakers. It’s Travis McCleary, the mayor of Sanlow, a boulder of a man with a bushy, gray beard. He’s wearing a green suit that, even from a distance, looks too tight around the belly.
People lift their chairs and benches to get closer to the raised stage while still remaining under the shade of the trees that surround the town square.
The mayor reads out his speech, thanking everyone for coming to the event. His speech is identical to the one he gave last year. He must have kept it tucked away somewhere in his house.
When I arrived in Sanlow, almost two years ago, it was the day of the festival and I was one of the outsiders.
After a while, the mayor folds up the piece of paper and pushes it into an inside pocket of his jacket. He’s silent for a moment. A deep sigh is heard over the speakers.
“Although today is a good day, it cannot be great because someone is missing. Victor Hanes, one of our own, was brutally taken away from us. No words can express how much we all miss him.”
While an invisible dagger twists in my gut, all around me tissues and handkerchiefs are pulled out of bags and pockets. Tears are wiped away. The only thing I can do is bow my head to hide the truth.
Next to me, Jared sniffs.
The mayor blows his nose loudly and continues. “It’s a tragedy that has shaken our town to the core.” He pauses to sigh again. “I’m grateful to everyone who did everything in their power to take care of Rachel, Victor’s widow. I hope you continue to do so. Victor will forever be remembered in this town and the cops will do everything to find the person who is responsible.”
When the whispers break out, I find it hard to breathe. I’m relieved when an old woman not too far from where I’m sitting suspects that the killer must be an outsider. I pray that by the time they figure out that I was with Victor that night, I’ll be long gone.
Jared plants a hand on my sho
ulder and squeezes. I have no idea what he’s trying to communicate to me. I keep my head bowed until the mayor changes the subject. He spends a while talking about all the beautiful flowers at the stands and the delicious food.
“Are you okay?” Jared asks, shifting his chair closer to mine. It takes all my strength not to move away.
“I’m fine,” I mumble. “I’m just tired.”
“Don’t worry. As soon as I get the award, we’ll leave. There’s not much left to do here anyway except sniff flowers and dance. I don’t think you’re up to it, are you?”
“I…maybe,” I blurt out. We can’t leave too soon. I need time to figure out a way to escape. “It’s been a while since I danced.”
“Fine,” he says and returns his attention to the stage. “We’ll dance, but not for long.”
Before I can say another word, the mayor brings up Victor’s name again and the cold knot inside my stomach tightens.
“We had thought of canceling this year’s festival, but Victor would not want that,” he says. “He would want us to continue the tradition of honoring this town and its people. This year, we want to honor another one of our citizens, a man who has been very active in the community.”
When I glance at Jared’s face, my stomach rolls with disgust.
The people of Sanlow have a way of making their citizens feel special. How would they feel if they knew that they are honoring a monster? But if it turns out that I killed Victor, they would probably think I’m the monster.
“Jared Bloom, I’m talking about you.” The mayor points a finger at Jared. He pulls a gold medal from his pocket. It dangles in the air for all to see. “Come on up here, young man.”
When the clapping starts, Jared gets to his feet, a huge grin on his face. He hesitates before moving forward, gazing from me to the mayor.
“Come on, Jared, don’t be so humble.” The mayor laughs. He accepts what looks like a certificate from a man next to him. “Come and get your award. You don’t have to bring your pregnant wife on the stage with you. Let her relax.”
