by L. G. Davis
She’s right. I won’t speak to the cops or anyone else. I wish they would all go away. I want to be alone, to say goodbye to my baby. But the cops see me as a criminal, a murderer. It’s only a matter of time before they come in.
I open my eyes when the door is opened. Dr. Sanders is leaving.
“Look at you. You’re awake. I’m Nurse Julie. That’s what everyone around here calls me.” The nurse smiles down at me. When another tear rolls down my cheek, she wipes it away with a corner of the bed sheet. “I’m sorry about your baby, love. But you’re lucky to be alive. We will take great care of you.”
Even though in my mind I’m nodding, my head doesn’t move.
Something about the older woman makes me trust her. Maybe it’s the faint lines of laughter around her small mouth and almond-shaped eyes.
“Do you know where you are?”
This time, instead of ignoring the question, I manage a reply. “Yes.”
“Good. That’s really good.” She drops into the chair next to my bed. “Do you know what happened?”
Do they have a list of the same questions somewhere that they have to ask patients?
I look away. My gaze meets that of one of the police officers on the other side of the glass. I return my attention back to the nurse. Maybe if I tell her everything, she will try to convince them of my innocence.
“My husband…he tried to kill me.” I wet my lower lip. “It was self-defense.”
She hands me a plastic cup of water and helps me drink. “Let’s not talk about that now,” she says when I lie back down. She glances at the cops. “Once you’re better, you’ll have the chance to tell the police everything, okay?”
An invisible heavy weight presses down on my chest. She’s not on my side. She’s only doing her job. Overcome with disappointment, I close my eyes again to shut her out. Not long after, I fall asleep.
When I wake up, Dr. Sanders returns to explain the D&C procedure to me. I agree to it without showing any emotion.
The procedure is carried out within two hours.
The next morning, one of the cops is allowed into my room to question me, a wiry man with black hair slicked back with too much gel and thick sideburns. He introduces himself as Officer Rogers. I don’t care what his name is.
He asks politely if he can ask me some questions. When I don’t give him an answer, he takes a seat next to my bed anyway, and watches me for a long time. Does he think I look like a murderer?
“Mrs. Bloom, can you describe to me exactly what happened at your house last night?”
I’m sure they already have enough evidence to nail me, but they need to know the truth, my side of the story.
“My husband...Jared Bloom.” I swallow through my tight throat. “He kept me prisoner in the house for a few weeks. He threatened to kill me and my baby.”
I tell the cop about what happened the night I bumped into Victor at the lake. I tell him about Jared and Victor’s bet. I tell him about Jared wanting to set me on fire. I leave out the part that exposes me as a fugitive. I can’t bring myself to tell him that I’m already wanted for murder.
The officer scribbles my words in his notepad and looks up. His expression gives nothing away. I hate not knowing if he believes me or not. “Okay.” He rubs his forehead. “Mrs. Bloom, I’m sure you understand the severity of the situation. I’m afraid that after you are released, you will have to be taken to—”
“It was self-defense.” My voice is smothered by tears. “Both times.”
He gets up from his chair. “I always believe that evidence speaks louder than words, Mrs. Bloom. An investigation is being carried out as we speak.” He walks to the door.
“Is he…” I chew the inside of my mouth. “Did Jared survive?”
With the question comes the memories of what happened in my kitchen, Jared’s dangerous words, the smell of gasoline, the heat of the fire. The pain inside and outside my body flares up. They may have treated the wounds and cuts, but the scars will remain forever. Especially the ones carved into my heart. I’ll always remember the most terrifying night of my life.
The officer nods. “But he was severely burned. He’s in critical condition. We don’t know more than that.”
“Don’t let him get away,” I plead, trying to sit up. Pain stops me. “He’ll hurt someone else. He killed his wife. Jared murdered his first wife. Before he moved to Sanlow, he was named Jack Creed. Her name was Alison. Please, don’t let him get away.” I’m not only terrified for his next victim, I’m terrified for my own life. I won’t feel safe from him even if I go to prison.
The cop pulls out his notepad again and scribbles down a few words. “We’ll have to look into it. I’ll be back if I have more questions.”
Of course, he will be back. While digging into Jared’s past, he might decide to dig into mine. We both have secrets no one else knows about.
Officer Rogers steps out the door only to return again as if he forgot something. “There’s something I don’t understand,” he says, walking back into the room. He doesn’t sit this time.
I frown in response.
“You said Victor Hanes raped you. Is that right?”
I take a breath. “He did. The baby I was carrying…it was his.” I cough remnants of smoke from my lungs.
“Then why didn’t you report the rape?”
“I don’t know. I was scared and ashamed.” I have to be careful. I haven’t told him that Victor knew about my past. “I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“And why would you want to keep your rapist’s baby?”
“Because it was my baby, too.” My fingers curl around the sheets. “You don’t believe me, do you?”
He sighs and moves back to the door. “I knew Victor Hanes. We played golf together. He was a good man.”
That’s the wrong thing for him to say. He’s a police officer. He’s not supposed to rely on his own emotions. He should be impartial and look at both sides of the story.
If he doesn’t believe me, no one else will. Everyone in the town of Sanlow who knew and loved Victor will be against me. It’s exactly what happened when my grandmother died. It’s déjà vu all over again.
Without saying another word, the officer walks out of the room and positions himself next to his partner. As they speak to each other, both turn to peer at me through the glass. When Officer Rogers pulls out a phone and presses it to his ear, I look away. My story is about to go viral.
In the future, when people talk about murderers, my name will come up. They will refer to me as a serial killer. They might even create documentary films about me. I will go down in history for being a heartless murderer and Jared, the true monster, will probably get away.
I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to handle the unbearable pain I’m sure is about to come my way.
Chapter 36
A familiar voice wakes me from a troubled sleep. A flicker of apprehension trickles down my spine.
Rachel is standing in the doorway, watching me through a hooded gaze.
Why is she here?
It’s late at night and I don’t think I’m allowed to have visitors. But as the widow of the man I’m accused of murdering, she probably has special rights, especially since Officer Rogers used to be Victor’s friend.
“Kelsey Bloom,” she says, stepping closer into the room. “Surprised to see me?”
I sit up in bed, glancing past her shoulders to the glass partition. The officers are not making a move to remove her from the room, which only confirms that she gets special treatment.
“Hi, Rachel,” I say in a suffocated whisper. If only I had known she was coming. I would have thought of something to say to her. I thought the only time I might see her is in court.
Rachel seems different from the woman I’ve come to know for the past few years. Even though she’s dressed all in black, there’s a confidence to the way her eyes meet mine. She’s also standing taller.
I don’t blame her. The woman who killed her husb
and is about to be brought to justice.
“I didn’t plan on coming,” she says, pulling up a chair and lowering herself into it. She crosses her legs and smooths out her pleated skirt. “But I needed to see your suffering up close.”
“I’m sorry, Rachel.” My nose wrinkles when the scent of her sweet, flowery perfume tickles my nostrils. “I’m so sorry about everything.”
“For what exactly?” Her perfectly plucked eyebrows draw together to form a deep line in the center of her pale face. “For killing my husband or for lying to me about it?”
“I didn’t...look, I didn’t mean to kill him. He raped me, Rachel.” I stretch out my right leg to release a cramp in my calf. “You told the cops that you saw a video of…” My voice drifts off. “You must have seen him attack me.”
Rachel’s shoulders curl forward and her chin hits her chest. For a second she reminds me of the insecure woman I knew. She stays like that for a while. When she looks up to meet my gaze again, her eyes have a haunted look to them. “The only thing I saw was you underneath my husband. I also saw you kill him.”
She only saw the part of the video Jared wanted her to see. What if there’s no full video and Jared had only recorded the part where I hit Victor over the head and ran?
When I mentioned the video to Officer Rogers, he mentioned the cops were not able to locate it anywhere in the house.
“You might not want to hear it, but your husband raped me. I wanted to get him off me. I wanted it to stop. I didn’t plan on—”
“You didn’t plan on murdering him?” Rachel jumps to her feet and paces the room for a few heartbeats, her mouth working as though she’s murmuring something to herself. She returns to the bed and hovers over me, making me feel small.
“I may look stupid, but I’m not blind. I saw how you acted around him, flirting shamelessly in front of me and your own husband. I bet all those dinners you hosted were for his benefit. You loved all the compliments he showered on you about the perfect meals you cooked.”
Perfect. There’s that ugly word again. It suddenly dawns on me that when we were at the festival, she already knew about what happened between me and Victor. That’s the reason why she made those comments about the pains of pregnancy making me less perfect. But how long has she known?
“That’s not true,” I say, my own anger surging through me. “Come on, Rachel. Surely, you are smarter than that. I’m sure you were aware that your husband was a flirt. You knew him better than I did. You know the truth.”
“Yes, I know the truth, and it does not favor you.” She swipes a hand across her eyes to get rid of her tears. “I’m glad you’ll be getting what you deserve. Did you actually think you could get away with it?”
I shake my head. “I hit him only once. I never thought I killed him.”
“You hit him hard enough to take his life, and you didn’t tell a soul that you were with him that night. All that time you pretended to be concerned about me and my well-being, you were just trying to cover up your dirty secret.” She snorts. “Every time you touched me, I felt disgusted. I know what you are. You are a dirty prostitute. You sleep with other people’s husbands.”
“I never.” I swallow hard. “I was a stripper, not a prostitute.”
How does she know about that part of my life? Did Jared tell her? Why would he if he had planned on keeping my past a secret for his own benefit? There are still so many pieces of the puzzle missing. Nothing makes sense to me anymore.
“No, you are a prostitute, and a murderer. You killed my husband and you tried to kill yours. For that, you will rot in prison.”
Through my anger, fears, and frustrations, I find a sliver of relief. She doesn’t know everything. She doesn’t know that I was in prison. If she did, she would have gone straight to the cops with the information. But it won’t be long before my biggest secret is revealed. As soon as Jared recovers, he’ll talk and my story will be all over the news.
“Fine, Rachel,” I say. “You said what you came to say. I need you to leave.” I blink my eyes several times before focusing on her face again. “But before you do, I need you to know that I’m truly sorry. I’m sorry that you had a husband like Victor. I know you want to hang on to the belief that he was a good husband, but I’m sorry to disappoint you. He knew that I used to be a stripper and he threatened to expose my secret unless I slept with him. When I refused, he forced himself on me. Whether you or anyone else believes it or not, it’s the truth.” I leave out the part about the baby because I don’t want her to hurt more than she already is. Her anger comes from a place of pain, the kind of pain I would never wish on anyone.
I’m about to think of something else to say to her, when a sharp sensation spreads across my cheek. “Shut up,” she says. “You are a liar. You seduced my husband. You killed him because you were afraid he would destroy your perfect little life.”
The cops clearly saw her slap me, but instead of intervening, they continue to stare. I guess they think I deserve it.
Rachel is so furious that her face is puce and her body is shaking uncontrollably. “I hope you rot in hell. You stole my life from me and now you’re going away for a long time.” She wipes her eyes again. “Don’t think you’re safe in here. I was told you will probably be released tonight so you can be thrown behind bars. I hope they send you to a prison far away from this town. You don’t belong here.” With that, she storms out.
Outside the room, Officer Rogers gives her a quick hug and she disappears.
Not long after, he walks in, a silent smirk on his face. “Are you all right?” he asks.
I lay a palm on my aching cheek. “I’m pretty sure you’re not in the least interested in my well-being, officer.”
He doesn’t have to pretend anymore. We both know whose side he’s on. It’s definitely not mine.
“As I mentioned before, Victor Hanes was my friend.”
“So, what are you waiting for? If you believe I murdered him, why don’t you take me to prison already?”
After two days in the hospital, my body is still in pain, but not the kind I won’t be able to handle. Prison is the last place I’d rather be, but I’d feel safer behind bars than in the same hospital as Jared.
I saw him burn. I heard his cries of agony. But as long as I haven’t seen the extent of his injuries with my own eyes, I won’t feel safe.
Earlier, I asked the nurse about him again and she could not tell me much, except to repeat that he’s still in critical condition. I wanted to see him, not because I care, but because I wanted to prove he no longer has the power to harm me. Even though I’m his wife, my request to visit his room was denied. On the other side of the coin, the officers and hospital staff probably think I’m a danger to him. I was the one who allegedly set him on fire.
Officer Rogers is about to speak when his phone rings. He holds up a finger and takes the call. His eyes remain on my face as he listens to the caller, then he frowns and glances at his partner through the partition.
“Okay,” he says, “I’m on my way.”
“What’s going on?” I ask, looking from him to his partner. “Does it have something to do with me?”
“Someone broke into your house,” he says and walks out of my room without an explanation.
I watch as he says something to his partner before running off in a hurry.
The other officer makes a call probably to ask for more information. When he’s done, I call for him. He hesitates before entering the room.
“Please tell me what’s going on. I deserve to know.”
“All I know is that someone broke into your house about an hour ago. One of your neighbors reported seeing someone sneaking in. We should know more in a few hours.” He walks out again. Unlike Officer Rogers, he’s not interested in holding much of a conversation with me.
I’m confused as I stare through the window into the darkness, wondering whether the person who broke into the house was random or if it’s someone Jared and I know. But the bigge
r question is, what did they want?
Chapter 37
The day after Rachel’s visit, Nurse Julie informs me that the time has come for me to be discharged from the hospital.
My destination is prison and I should be panicking, but as I slide my feet into a pair of old slippers one of the nurses gave me, I’m strangely calm.
“Ready to leave, love?” Nurse Julie asks, walking into the room with one of her bright smiles. She makes it look as though this is a normal situation and instead of prison, I’m headed home. But she has been kind to me, unlike some of the others who gave me weird looks and whispered about me when they thought I was sleeping, debating about how long they think my prison sentence will be. By now, the entire town probably knows about me.
Since being at the hospital, I have refused to watch any TV or read the local paper, but I have a pretty good idea of what everyone thinks. I’ve heard loud noises outside my window, noises that reminded me of my past, people begging for justice to be served.
“Yes, I’m ready,” I lie. I’ll never be ready to hand over my freedom again. The one thing that comforts me is knowing I’ll be away from Jared, behind bars where he can never hurt me again.
“That’s lovely.” Nurse Julie proceeds to tell me how to take care of myself so I recover fully. I listen to only half of what she says.
Finally, she helps me stand and I wince at the pain on the soles of my feet from being pierced by shards of glass and the thorns of Rachel’s rosebushes. I grit my teeth to try and contain it.
From the other side of the glass, Officer Rogers is watching me with a blank expression. We haven’t spoken to each other since he told me that Jared’s house was broken into. He hasn’t bothered to update me on what they found out and I didn’t ask. It was probably a random break-in and I don’t care what the thief took. It’s not my home anymore and nothing in it belongs to me. It all belongs to a life I’m desperate to leave behind.
“Take care of yourself.” The nurse reaches out to touch my hand.
I fool myself into believing she cares, and that she believes in my innocence. There must be people out there who do.
