Heart of Hope

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Heart of Hope Page 9

by Shanna Hatfield


  “I’m as much to blame as you for not discussing the problem,” Jenna said, trying not to cry. “I know you hate to engage in anything remotely resembling conflict and getting defensive was a way of shutting you out. I should have been willing to discuss it with you.”

  “Tell you what, babe. Next time you have a problem, you talk to me about it right away and I promise I won’t go all cavedweller on you or jump to conclusions. Deal?” Josh rubbed his hands soothingly up and down Jenna’s back, enjoying the feel of her silk dress beneath his hands. Her perfume teased his nose and he suddenly hoped they could forget about this incident and end the evening on a good note.

  “Deal,” Jenna said, pulling back to look up at him, her eyes molten and inviting. She lowered her voice and gave him a flirty smile. “I think now would be a very good time for you to kiss me.”

  Josh bent his dark head toward hers, kissing her slowly, teasingly, thoroughly with a passion that left them both breathless.

  “I love you, Jenna.” His lips brushed her ear, breath warm on her neck. “Always have, always will.”

  Chapter Six

  After traveling for the last month with her new job, Jenna experienced some trepidation about her recent promotion.

  In the past thirty days, she’d only been home for five. She worked late last night, rose extra early that morning, and hoped to arrive at the office by eight if she drove straight through without stopping for breakfast.

  She hadn’t bothered to drive home the previous weekend because it would have been an eight-hour drive one-way. After one day at home with Josh, she would have been back on the road Sunday. Instead, she hung out in a hotel, missing Josh, and wishing she were home. They talked or texted several times a day, but she still missed him, more than she ever imagined possible.

  Josh had all he could do to keep on top of the summer farm work. When he wasn’t working on their place, he did custom haying or helped Steve and Clay at their ranch. He liked to help there when he could because when he needed assistance, they were always quick to provide whatever he needed, be it equipment or free labor.

  Jenna sighed as she watched the sun brighten the horizon on a beautiful June morning. The bright orb on the horizon streaked rays of pink and gold across the blue sky, giving the promise of another spectacular summer day.

  Today was their wedding anniversary and she hoped Josh would pull his head out of farming long enough to remember.

  The few days she had been home, he was so exhausted from farm work, he barely paid her any attention. He ate his meals in a hurry, asking her a few questions about her work before returning outside until dark. When he came in, he took a quick shower then collapsed on their bed, asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. By the time she woke up, he was long gone out to the fields.

  She realized now why Josh tried to talk her into getting married any time other than summer. It really was his busiest time of year and the thought of taking time off for even a short vacation or getaway was completely out of the question.

  At the time, she thought he was being ridiculous, suggesting a winter or even early spring wedding. She wanted an outdoor ceremony in the summer and wasn’t about to listen to what he tried to tell her.

  They spent their first few anniversaries with him out in the field and her at home pouting. He tried to make it up to her by taking her out to dinner and giving her special gifts. After the third anniversary, she finally understood what he’d been saying all along and resigned herself to making the best of it. He always took her on a nice trip in January when things were quiet and he had extra time to devote just to her.

  Determined to make this anniversary special, despite their limited time together, she played over plans as she drove toward Portland. She had to leave again on Monday for another two weeks out of town, but hoped to make the weekend one Josh would remember.

  Jenna enjoyed her work, even if it kept her separated from Josh more than she anticipated it would. Summer would be her heaviest travel time. By fall, Josh’s workload would lighten and she would be home more. They just had to make it through September.

  Jenna pulled into the office parking lot a few minutes before eight, picked up her purse and briefcase, then hurried inside. The quicker she finished up at the office, the sooner she could go home.

  An hour later, she filed her last piece of paperwork. She ran a few errands before heading out of town toward Tenacity.

  Surprisingly, the closer she got to home, the grayer the sky became. If it continued at this rate, they might receive a summer rainstorm. She hoped Josh had the hay all in. Although an afternoon rainstorm would help her plans immensely, rain on the hay would not make Josh happy.

  After parking in the garage, Jenna wondered where she could find Josh. His pickup was home and the flat bed truck was parked down by the barn, so she assumed he was out somewhere on the four-wheeler.

  Since he would come to the house for lunch, she hustled to put away groceries and get ready for his arrival. Josh wouldn’t expect her to be home until late that evening, so she had the element of surprise working in her favor.

  At a quarter past noon, Jenna heard the back door open and footsteps in the house. Quietly sneaking out of the bedroom, she tiptoed down the hall and into the kitchen. A pair of long, muscular, Wrangler-clad legs poked out from behind the open refrigerator door. Jenna smiled to herself, anticipating Josh’s reaction when he turned around.

  On her way home, she stopped at the mall to pick up a gift for Josh, one that she now wore. The transparent black lingerie was not something she would normally choose, but she decided to walk a little on the wild side for Josh. She applied an additional coating of mascara, donned a pair of strappy black heels, and gave herself a spray of his favorite perfume.

  Provocatively leaning against the counter, she lifted her lips in an inviting smile and used her most sultry tone of voice. “If you’re hungry, I’ve got something much more satisfying than anything you’re going to find in there.”

  A plastic bottle of soda pop hit the floor and splattered everywhere. The head that popped out from behind the fridge door caused Jenna to blush five shades of red and snatch the dishtowel off the counter to hold in front of her.

  After an initial ear-shattering scream, Jenna gasped. “Jake! What are you doing here?”

  How could she have forgotten Jake was at the farm?

  Shamed beyond anything imaginable, Jenna hoped he hadn’t seen anything. Jake was like the younger brother she never had. Despite her fervent pleas, the floor didn’t open up and swallow her whole.

  Jake turned red from the top of his head past the neck of his shirt. He spun around with his back to her while Mountain Dew soaked his legs and dripped on his boots. He’d seen enough to know he didn’t want to see any more, especially when the scantily clad woman behind him was like an older sister.

  “Dang it all, Jenna! What are you doing?” Jake spluttered, horrified. “I… we… Josh sent me in to make some lunch.”

  While watering Jenna’s flowers, Josh heard a scream from inside the house. He tossed down the hose and ran inside as fast as humanly possible. When he plowed into the kitchen, he took in Jake’s red face turned toward the wall. Jenna clutched a dishtowel to her chest and slowly backed out of the kitchen. Her outfit, at least what he could see around the dishtowel, made his eyes widen in astonishment.

  Glad he wore a shirt that snapped up the front, Josh yanked it loose, slipped it around Jenna, and swept her into his arms. There was no way she could beat a hasty retreat down the hall in the shoes she wore. After carrying her to their bedroom, he kicked the door shut and dropped her on the bed. He stood and gaped at her for several long, silent moments.

  “What are you doing?” he finally asked in a rough voice. As he ogled his wife, he felt confused, annoyed and wildly excited all at the same time. “You aren’t supposed to be home until this evening.”

  “I wanted to surprise you.” Jenna clutched Josh’s shirt to her chest as her carefully sty
led hair fell across her face. She pushed it back and let out a ragged breath. “I completely forgot Jake was here. I certainly didn’t plan on finding him in the kitchen.”

  Josh continued to stare at her. Just looking at his lovely wife, whom he hadn’t seen in more than two weeks, caused his heart to pound while his blood thrummed through his veins. The fact that Jenna wore something so tempting made it hard for him to think beyond his sudden desire to grab his shirt and the dishtowel away from her so he could have an unobstructed view of her new outfit.

  “Without a doubt, we’re all surprised. What did you think would happen? It’s the middle of the day and I’ve got more work to do than I can handle.” Josh sounded gruffer than he intended.

  Jenna really caught him off-guard and he was more than a little perturbed thinking about just how much of his wife Jake may have seen. As he took a step closer to the bed, a burst of thunder shook the house. He glanced out the window and frowned as rain began pouring down in sheets.

  Tears pooled in her eyes when Jenna looked up at Josh.

  “That is exactly what I hoped would happen. You can’t make hay in the rain.” She inclined her head toward the window. “Although I never dreamed Jake would be the one in the kitchen. Honestly, I didn’t even think about him being here. I’m so sorry. I’m going to positively die from embarrassment.”

  “It’s okay, babe. I don’t think you’ll die. I’m pretty sure you weren’t what Jake expected to find when I sent him in to make sandwiches.” Josh chuckled, suddenly finding the situation amusing, now that the initial shock had passed. “As a matter of fact, I’m guessing his eyeballs are feeling somewhat scorched right now.”

  He bent down to give her a kiss meant to be brief and welcoming, but it quickly turned into something heated and filled with longing. He leaned one knee on the bed while she wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him closer.

  “Babe, don’t move. I’ll be back in a minute,” Josh whispered with his lips against her ear before opening the door and walking down the hall to the kitchen.

  Jake suffered from acute embarrassment and looked unsettled as he wiped up the last of the spilled pop.

  “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t see anything.” Jake tossed the paper towels into the garbage while his neck and ears continued to glow a shade of bright red.

  “No need to apologize, Jake. Jenna forgot you were here. Honest mistake, that’s all.” Josh pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and fished out a twenty-dollar bill. After handing it to Jake, Josh thumped him on the back and pointed him toward the door.

  “We aren’t going to be able to finish anything in this rain. Why don’t you run into town and get yourself some lunch? Take your time. On your way back, if you wouldn’t mind stopping by the tire store to see if the tractor tire I ordered came in, you can charge it to my account. I’ll meet you in the shop at three. Will that work for you?”

  “Sure.” Jake regained his sense of humor as he approached the back door. A wicked grin rode his lips as he opened the back door. He couldn’t keep from teasing Josh. “Dude, enjoy your… um… lunch. Jenna mentioned something about it being quite satisfying.”

  Josh shoved Jake outside and turned off the hose he’d left running then hurriedly removed his boots, washed his hands, and hustled back to the bedroom.

  Jenna was nowhere in sight. His shirt was on the bed and her shoes were on the floor halfway to the bathroom. She’d closed the blinds over the windows, throwing the room into shadows.

  He hoped she hadn’t changed. Josh relished the thought of fully exploring the little black number she wore, now that he’d warmed up to the idea of a few hours spent inside on a rainy afternoon.

  “Jenna,” he called, hoping she’d quit hiding behind the partially closed bathroom door. “Jake’s gone, so come on out.”

  When she pulled the door open and stepped out, she wore her soft cotton bathrobe, much to his disappointment. She appeared mortified as she stared at him with tears in her eyes.

  When he opened his arms to her, she buried her face against him. Her tears dripped down his bare chest.

  “Babe, don’t cry. It’s okay,” he said soothingly, rubbing her back. “Don’t worry about it. It was just a mistake.”

  She mumbled something inaudible against his chest so he used his thumb to push her chin up far enough he could hear her. “What did you say?” He wiped at her tears with the dishtowel she’d left on the bed and blotted the trails of mascara on his chest.

  “I said I’ll never be able to face Jake again. I’m so ashamed.” Jenna sniffled. “I will never, ever do something like that again as long as I live.”

  Josh grinned and leaned down so their noses practically touched. “Now, let’s not get carried away. I have to tell you, I wouldn’t mind coming in and seeing you dressed like that from time to time. Just make sure Jake isn’t around. I think I would have enjoyed the show much more than he did.”

  Jenna let out a choppy laugh and smacked Josh on the arm. “You’re terrible, you know.”

  “I don’t know anything of the sort.” Josh wrapped his arms back around her and pulled her close. “Happy Anniversary, Jenna.”

  “Happy Anniversary.” She raised her lips to his in a kiss filled with love and longing.

  When Josh reached down and untied her robe, she let him. He pushed back the sleeves to reveal the filmy little gown that caused all the commotion. His gaze slowly traveled over every inch of her and he knew she could see the appreciation written across his face.

  “This just might be the best anniversary present ever.”

  Later, after eating lunch, Josh walked Jenna around to the back patio where a gliding wood bench waited, tied with a big blue bow. She ran her hands over the smooth wood, taking in the detailed craftsmanship. Someone had burned the words, “Give me your forever, not a day less will do,” into the wood on the backrest of the bench in a beautiful script.

  “Josh, this is wonderful.” Jenna removed the bow and tugged Josh down to sit beside her. “Where did you get it?”

  “I made it, with some help,” he answered, pleased she liked her gift. “Despite what you think, I did remember our anniversary and thought about it weeks ago. According to the information I researched, we’re supposed to give wood or iron for this anniversary, so I decided to go with wood. Clay, Pop, and Jake helped me make the bench and then Bobbi and Callan helped with the wood burning. I guess you could call it a group effort.”

  “It is beautiful, thoughtful, and perfect.” Jenna leaned against Josh’s side as he wrapped an arm around her. “I can’t thank you enough. Every time we sit on it, I’ll remember today, remember how much I love you right at this very moment.”

  “And don’t forget scorching Jake’s eyeballs,” Josh teased, giving her a cocky grin. “You can’t forget that.”

  Jenna blushed and ducked her head. “I’m sure even if I could forget it, you’ll keep reminding me.”

  Josh kissed her again and cuddled her close for a few minutes before he looked at his watch and stood. They walked back inside the house and Josh turned to look out the kitchen window as Jake pulled his pickup in by the shop, a large tire bouncing in the back.

  “I told Jake to meet me at the shop, so I better get moving.” Josh yanked on his gloves and settled his ball cap on his head. “Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?”

  “I think I’d rather stay home,” Jenna said, kissing his cheek. “I’ll see you later and please give Jake my apologies. I don’t think I’m quite ready to face him myself.”

  Jenna managed to avoid seeing Jake the rest of the weekend and was glad she didn’t have to face him. Every time she thought of what had happened, her face flushed red and a wave of humiliation swept over her. Even admitting the blunder could have happened to anyone, it didn’t help her feel any less shamed. She argued with herself that most women would not prance around in their unmentionables in the middle of the day, trying to beguile an over-worked husband.

  When it came time
to leave Monday morning, Jenna dreaded the next month. She had two more weeks on the road, three days off, and then another two weeks before she would be home to stay for a few weeks. In spite of what she kept trying to tell herself, she was really starting to dislike her new job.

  Chapter Seven

  Josh hated Jenna’s new job. He could count on his two hands the number of days she’d been home since she started it.

  He missed her with an ache that began in his heart and spread out to every part of his being. He missed her laughter, her smile, and her witty conversation. He missed coming in from the fields at night to see her cooking dinner and knowing something delicious would be ready to eat by the time he got out of the shower. He missed the subtle fragrance of her perfume lingering around him, even after she’d left the room. He missed seeing her shoes kicked off under a kitchen barstool and her purse sitting on the chair by the back door. He missed looking into her eyes and getting lost in the dark depths.

  Most of all, he missed her presence, her spirit. The house seemed so empty, cold, and unwelcoming without her in it.

  For him, Jenna was home.

  At night, he could barely sleep without her beside him. He was used to her warmth and the funny little sounds she made while she slept.

  The additional income she made was nice, but he’d rather they both be completely broke than have to spend all this time apart. Although she enjoyed the challenge of her position, he didn’t know how much longer he could stand having her gone.

  She arrived home Friday afternoon for what was supposed to be three days off. Instead, she got a call Friday evening asking if she could fly to Boston Sunday for a meeting. When she returned from it, she would be back on the road for another week and a half before coming home. Josh worked long hours Friday and came in so late he did nothing more than eat dinner and collapse on the bed. The custom haying job he had to finish Saturday kept him working late, so they hardly saw each other at all.

 

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