CHAPTER XXIX.
Come with words as medicinal as true, Honest as either.--Shakspere.
Now, there are many people who would here leave their reader insuspense, and, darting off to some other part of the tale, would notgive the most remote hint of Lady Constance's fate, till they haddrawled through two or three long chapters about a frog and a roastedapple, or any other thing, if possible still more irrelevant. But farbe such disingenuous dealing from me, whose sole aim, intent, andobject, is to give my reader pleasure; and by now and then detailingsome little accident or adventure, to keep him just enough awake toprevent the volume falling out of his hand into the fire; to winsometimes a smile, and sometimes a sigh, without aspiring either tolaughter or tears; tickling his soul, as it were, with the point of afeather, so as neither to rouse nor to lull; and to leave him in sucha state, that when he lays down the book he knows not whether he hasbeen reading or dreaming.
Such are the luxurious aspirations of Vonderbrugius, who is recordedto have himself written more than one volume in his sleep, and to haveeven carried them to the printer in a state of somnambulency. Afterthis, without more ado, he proceeds to relate, that the worthy Dr.Wilbraham, finding somebody take him by the arm, turned round in astate of vexation and worry, if I may use the word, which overcame thenatural gentleness of his disposition, and made him demand, rathersharply, what the stranger wanted with him.
"Why, doctor," replied the man, "you must come instantly to my lordcardinal, who has been struck with the pestilent air in returning fromRichmond, and desires to consult with you on the means of preventingits bad effects."
"Pshaw!" cried the good chaplain, pettishly; "I'm not Dr. Butts! Howcould you frighten me so? We come to see the doctor ourselves."
"Stand out of the way, then, if you are not him," cried the man,changing his tone, and rudely pushing between the clergyman and LadyConstance. "The cardinal must be served first, before such as you, atleast;" and knocking loudly against the door, he soon brought forth apage, who informed him that the physician was at the house of old SirGuy Willoughby, farther down in the same street.
On this news, the messenger immediately set off again, leaving Dr.Wilbraham to discuss what matters he liked with the page, now that hisown insolent haste was satisfied. The servants instantly recognisedtheir master's uncle, and permitted him, with his fair companions, toenter and take possession of his book-room, while awaiting his return;and the rosy maid, whom Sir Osborne had found scrubbing crucibles, nowbustled about with good-humoured activity to make the ladycomfortable.
Long seemed the minutes, however, to the mind of poor Constance tillthe physician's return. Her path was now entirely amidstuncertainties, and at each step she knew not whether it would lead herto safety or destruction. Such a proceeding as that in which she wasengaged does not strike one, when calmly related, as full of half theanxiety and alarm that really accompanied it. Let it be remembered,that not only her fortune, but her liberty for life, and the wholehappiness of her existence, were involved; and it may be thenconceived with what trembling fear she awaited each incident thatmight tend to forward her escape or to betray her flight.
Though it seemed to her an age, Dr. Butts was not really long inreturning; but no language can depict the astonishment of hiscountenance when he beheld Lady Constance with his uncle. "'Odslife!"cried he, "what is this? Lady, are you ill, or well, or wise? Uncle,are you mad, or drunk, or foolish?"
The good clergyman informed him that he was in none of thepredicaments to which he alluded, and then proceeded to relate thecircumstances and motives which had induced them to resolve uponleaving the court of England and flying to France, to claim theprotection of the French king, who was, in fact, the lady's sovereignas far as regarded her maternal estates.
"It's a bad business!" cried Dr. Butts, who still stood in the middleof the floor, rubbing his chin, and not yet recovered from hissurprise; "it's a bad business! I always thought it would be a badbusiness. Nay, nay, lady, do not weep," continued the kind-heartedmediciner, seeing the tears that began to roll silently overConstance's cheek; "it is not so bad as that. Wolsey will doubtlessclaim you at the hands of the French king; but Francis is not a man togive you up. However, take my advice: retire quietly to one of yourch?teaux, and live like a nun till such time as this great friendshipbetween the two courts is past. It will not last long," he added, witha sententious shake of the head: "it will not last long. But,nevertheless, you keep yourself in France, as secretly as may be,while it does last."
"But how to get to France is the question," said Dr. Wilbraham: "weshall do well enough when we are there, I doubt not. It is how to getto France that we must think of."
"Oh! we will manage that," replied Dr. Butts; "we will manage that:though, indeed, these are not things that I like to meddle with; but,nevertheless, I suppose I must in this case. Nay, nay, my dear lady,do not grieve. 'Slife! you a soldier's daughter, and afraid! Nay,cheer up, cheer up! It shall all go right, I warrant."
The doctor seated himself, and observing that Constance looked paleand cold, he insisted on her swallowing a Venice glass of mulled sackand going to bed. As to the sack, he said, he would ensure it for thebest in Europe; and in regard to the beds in his house, he could onlysay, that he had once entertained the four most famous alchymists ofthe world, and they were not men to sleep on hard beds. "Taste thesack, lady; taste the sack;" he continued. "Believe me, it is the bestmedicine in the pharmacy, and certainly the only one I ever takemyself. Then while you go and court your pillow, I will, devise somescheme with this good uncle of mine to help you over to theFrenchman's shore."
The physician's rosy maid was now called, and conducted Lady Constanceand Mistress Margaret to a handsome bedchamber, where we shall leavethem for the present; and without prying, into Dr. Butts's householdfurniture, return to the consultation that was going on below.
"Well, uncle," said the physician, as soon as Lady Constance had leftthem, "you have shown your wisdom truly, in running away with anheiress for another man. On my life, you have beaten the man who washanged for his friend, saying that he would do as much for him anothertime! Why, do you know, you can never show your face in Englandagain?"
"My good nephew," replied Dr. Wilbraham quietly, "for all your finewords, if you had been in my situation you would have done just as Ihave done. I know you, Charles."
"Not I, i'faith," cried Dr. Butts; "I would not have budged a foot."
"What! when you saw her cast upon the world, friendless and helpless,"cried the old man, "with nobody to advise her, with nobody to aid her,with nobody to console her? So sweet a girl, too! such an angel inheart, in mind, in disposition; all desolate and alone in this widerough world! Fie, Charles, fie! you would have gone with her."
"Perhaps I might; perhaps I might," replied the physician: "however,let us now think of the best means of serving her. What can be done?"
As usual in such cases, fifty plans were propounded, which, onexamination, were found to be unfeasible. "I have it!" cried Dr.Butts, at last, after discarding an infinite variety. "There was anun's litter came up yesterday to the inn hard by; it will hold three,and you shall set off to-morrow by daybreak as nuns."
"But how?" cried Dr. Wilbraham, with horror and astonishment depictedin his face. "You don't mean me to go as a nun?"
"Faith, but I do!" replied the physician; "it would be fully as badfor you to be discovered as for Lady Constance. Now, there is no dressin the world that I know of but a nun's that will cover your face andhide your beard. Oh! you shall be a nun, by all means. I will get thethree dresses this very night from a frippery in Pool Street; I willknock them up, and you shall be well shaved to-morrow morning, andwill make as fine an old Sister Monica as the best of them."
Dr. Wilbraham still held out stoutly, declaring that he would not sodisguise himself and disgrace his cloth on any account orconsideration; nor was it till the physician showed him plainly, thatby this means alone Lady Constance's safety could be ensured, that hew
ould at all hear of the travesty thus proposed.
"Where, then, do you intend us to go?" asked Dr. Wilbraham, almostcrying with vexation at the bare idea of being so metamorphosed. "Icannot, and I will not, remain long in such a dress."
"Why, you must go down to Sandwich," answered the physician. "There isa religious house there, under a sub-prioress, about a mile out of thetown, looking out over the sea. I know the dame, and a little moneywill do much with her. Nay, look not shocked, good uncle. I mean notto say that she is wicked, and would endanger her soul's repose formammon; but she is one of those that look leniently on small faults,and would not choke at such an innocent sin as helping you out of thecardinal's power. The time is lucky, too, for the cold wind last nighthas given his haughty lord cardinalship a flow of humours to the head,and he is as frightened about himself as a hen before a dray horse; sothat, perhaps, he may not think of sending to Richmond so soon as heproposed.
"But, Charles," said Dr. Wilbraham, whose abhorrence of the nun'sdress was not to be vanquished, and who would have been right glad toescape the infliction on any excuse, "will not your servants, who haveseen us come in one dress, think it very strange when they see us goaway in another? and may they not betray us?"
"Pshaw!" cried Dr. Butts; "they see a thousand odder things every dayin a physician's house. Do you think I let my servants babble? No, no!They know well that they must have neither eyes, ears, norunderstanding for anything that passes within these doors. If I wereto find that they even did so much as to recollect a person they hadonce seen with me, they should troop. But stay; go you to bed andrest; I will away for these dresses, and bespeak the litter forto-morrow at five. At Sandwich you are sure to find a bark forBoulogne."
The next morning Dr. Wilbraham was awakened before it was light by thephysician entering his room with a candle in his hand, and followed bya barber, who, taking the good priest by the nose, shaved him mostexpeditiously before he was out of bed, having been informed by Dr.Butts that the person under his hands was a poor insane patient, whowould not submit to any very tedious tonsorial operation.
When this was done, much to the surprise of the chaplain, who was intruth scarcely awake, the barber was sent away, and the physicianproduced the long black dress of a Benedictine nun, into which, aftermuch entreaty, he persuaded Dr. Wilbraham to get; not, however,without the rest of his clothes, for no argument would induce him toput on the woman's dress without the man's under it. First, then, hewas clothed with his ordinary black vest and silk hose, above whichcame a full and seemly cassock; and then, as a superstructure, wasplaced at the top of all the long black robes of the nun, whichswelled his bulk out to no inconsiderable size. This, however, was nota disadvantage; for being tall and thin, he had great need of somesupposititious contour to make his height seem less enormous whenconjoined with his female habiliments. Upon the whole, with the ropetied round his middle, and the coif and veil, he made a veryrespectable nun; though there was in the whole figure a certainlong-backed rigidity of carriage, and straggling wideness of step,that smacked infinitely of the masculine gender.
When all was completed, the physician led his transformed uncle downto a little hall, to which Lady Constance and Mistress Margaret hadalready found their way, habited in similar garments to those whichDr. Butts had furnished for the chaplain.
In point of beauty Constance had never, perhaps, looked better thannow, when her small, exquisite features, and clear, delicatecomplexion, slightly shaded by the nun's cap, had acquired anadditional degree of softness, which harmonised well with the pensive,melancholy expression that circumstances had communicated to hercountenance. However, she was, perhaps, even more sad and agitatedthan the night before, when haste had in some degree supersededthought. She had now passed a nearly sleepless night, during the longhours of which a thousand fears and anxieties had visited her pillow;and on rising, the necessity of quitting her customary dress andassuming a disguise impressed more strongly than ever upon her mindthe dangers of her situation.
The only person that seemed fully in her element was MistressMargaret, who, though, with the exception of a little selfishness, amost excellent being, could not be expected to have fulfilled forseveral years the high functions of lady's-maid without havingacquired some of the spirit of the office. God knows! in LadyConstance's service she had possessed small opportunity of exercisingin any way her talents for even the little _intrigue d'ante-chambre_;and though, in the case of Sir Osborne, she had done her best to showher tact by retiring _? propos_, the present was the first occasion onwhich she could enjoy a real, bustling, energetic adventure; and, todo her justice, she enacted the nun to the life. With a vastlyconsequential air she hurried about, till the rustling of her blackserge and the rattling of her wooden cross and rosary were quiteedifying; and finding herself, by dress at least, on an equality withher mistress, she took the bridle off her tongue and let it run itsown course, which it did not fail to do with great vigour andactivity.
On the entrance of Dr. Wilbraham, with his face clad in ruefulsolemnity, and his long strides at every step spreading out thepetticoats with which his legs were environed, like the parachute of aballoon when it begins to descend, Mistress Margaret laughed outright;and even Lady Constance, while reproving her for her ill-placedgaiety, could hardly forbear a smile.
"My dear Dr. Wilbraham," said Constance, seeing the chagrin that satupon his countenance, "for how much, how very much have I to thankyou! And believe me, I feel deeply all the regard you must have forme, to induce you to assume a disguise that must be so disagreeable toyou."
"Well," said Dr. Butts, "you are a sweet creature, and to my mind itwould not be difficult to make a man do anything to serve you.However, sit you down, lady: here is something to break your fast; andas it must serve for dinner and supper too, I will have you eat,whether you are hungry or not; for there must be as little stopping onthe road as possible, and no chattering, Mistress Margaret; mind youthat."
Mistress Margaret vowed that she was silence itself; and the mealwhich the good doctor's foresight had taken care to provide for thembeing ended, he led them forth by a different door from that which hadgiven them entrance, not choosing to trust even the servants, of whosediscretion he had boasted the night before. Day had now dawned, and inthe court-yard of the inn they found a large litter, or sort of longbox swung between two horses, one before and the other behind, andaccompanied by a driver on horseback, who, smacking his whip, seemedtired of waiting for them.
"Come, get in, get in!" cried he, "I have been waiting half-an-hour.There's room enough for you, sure!" he proceeded, seeing some littledifficulty occur in placing the travellers; "why, I brought four justlike you up from Gloucester in it, three days ago. Here, come over tothis side, Mother Longshanks." This address to Dr. Wilbraham had againvery near overset Mistress Margaret's gravity; but at length, allbeing placed, in spite of the chaplain's long legs, which were ratherdifficult to pack, the travellers took leave of the physician, andcommenced their journey to the sea-coast.
All passed on tranquilly enough during the forenoon; and at a littlewatering-house, where they stopped on the road, they were enabledquietly to rehearse their parts, as Sister Wilbraham, Sister Margaret,and Sister Grey. The good clergyman declared that his part should beto keep down his veil and hold his tongue, and Mistress Margaretwillingly undertook to be the talker for the whole party, whileConstance, not yet at all assured of safety, listened for every soundwith a beating heart, and trembled at every suspicious look that shebeheld, or fancied that she beheld, in the people around her.
As soon as the horses were sufficiently refreshed, they again begantheir journey, and had proceeded some way when the galloping of ahorse made itself heard behind them, and through the opening of thecurtains they could perceive a sergeant-at-arms, with full cognizance,and accompanied by two followers, pass by the side of their vehicle.In a moment after he stopped on overtaking their driver, who was alittle in advance, and seemed to question him in a hasty tone. "Threenuns
!" cried he, at length. "I must see that."
Constance, almost fainting, drew back in the corner of the litter. Dr.Wilbraham shrunk himself up to the smallest space possible; and, infact, Mistress Margaret was the only one who preserved her presence ofmind. "If it were the lord cardinal himself," whispered she to herlady, "he would never know you, my lady, in that dress."
In the mean time, the sergeant-at-arms rode up, and drew back thecurtain of the litter. "Your pardon, ladies," said he, giving a lookround, which seemed quite satisfactory; "I ask your pardon; but as Iam sent in pursuit of some runaways, I was obliged to look in."
Here the matter would have terminated, had not Mistress Margaret,desirous of showing off a total want of fear, replied, "Quite welcome,fair sir, quite welcome. We are travelling the same road." The officerreplied; and this brought on a long allegory on the part of MistressMargaret, who told him that they were nuns of Richborough, who hadbeen to London for medical advice for poor sister Mary, there, in thecorner (pointing to Dr. Wilbraham), who was troubled with the fallingsickness. The sergeant-at-arms recommended woodlice drowned in vinegaras a sovereign cure, which the pretended nun informed him they hadtried; and though it must be owned that the abigail played her partadmirably well, yet, nevertheless, she contrived to keep her lady andthe chaplain in mortal fear for half-an-hour longer than wasnecessary.
At length, however, the officer, taking his leave, rode away, and thendescended upon the head of Mistress Margaret the whole weight of goodDr. Wilbraham's indignation. Not for many years had he preached suchan eloquent sermon upon the duty of adhering strictly to the truthas on the present occasion; and he pointed out clearly to thewaiting-woman that she had told at least two-and-thirty lies more thanthe circumstances required. Mistress Margaret, however, was obstinatein her error, and would not see the distinction, declaring angrilythat she would either tell no lies at all, and let it be known whothey were, or she would tell as many as she thought proper.
"Margaret," said Lady Constance, in a calm, reproachful tone, that hadmore effect than a more violent reproof, "you forget yourself." Theabigail was silent; but nevertheless she determined, in her own mind,to give the good doctor more truth than he might like, on the veryfirst occasion; and such an opportunity was not long in occurring.
With the usual hankering which drivers and postilions always have forbad inns, the master of the litter did not fail to stop for the nightat one of the smallest, meanest, and most uncomfortable littlealehouses on the road; and on getting out of the vehicle, the threenuns were all shown into one room, containing two beds, one large andone small one. It may easily be supposed such an arrangement did notvery well suit the circumstances of the case; and Constance looked atDr. Wilbraham, and Dr. Wilbraham at Constance, in some embarrassment.On inquiring whether they could not have another room, they wereinformed that there was indeed such a thing in the house, but that itwas always reserved for guests of quality. The hostess was surprisedat nuns giving themselves such airs: the room they had would do verywell for three people; and, in short, that they should have no other.
During all this time Mistress Margaret remained obstinately silent;but at length, seeing the distress of her mistress, she brought up herforces to the charge, and turned the tide of battle. Attacking thehostess full tilt, she declared that there should be another roomfound directly, informing her that the young lady was not a simplenun, but noble and rich, and just named prioress of the Lord knowswhere; that Sister Mary, _i.e_. Dr. Wilbraham, was badly troubled witha night-cough, which would keep the prioress awake all night; and inshort, that Sister Mary must and should have a room to herself, forwhich, however, they would willingly pay.
This latter hint overcame the hostess's objections, and the matterbeing thus settled, they were allowed to repose in peace for thenight. Fatigue, anxiety, and want of sleep, had now completelyexhausted Constance; and weariness, acting the part of peace, closedher eyes in happy forgetfulness till the next morning, when they againset out for Sandwich.
Without any new adventure they arrived at that town; and after passingthrough it, quickly perceived the convent rising on a slight elevationto the left. As soon as this was in sight, so that he could not misshis way, Dr. Wilbraham got out of the litter, for the purpose ofpulling off his nun's dress under some hedge, in order that, byfollowing a little later than themselves, he might appear at the gateof the nunnery in his true character, without the change beingremarked by the driver of the litter, to whom he said on descendingthat he would follow on foot.
After this, Constance and Mistress Margaret proceeded alone, and in afew minutes reached the convent, where, presenting Dr. Butts's letterto the prioress, they were received with all kindness and attention,and found themselves comparatively free from danger. Dr. Wilbraham wasnot long in arriving, restored to his proper costume; and beingadmitted to the parlour, entered into immediate consultation with thesuperior and Constance, as to the best means of concluding theirflight as happily as it had commenced.
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