by Ella Goode
A smile breaks across my face. “I do.”
Lust is a consuming thing. It’s a fire that can heat up in an instant and flame for an endless amount of time. It can be stoked by starvation or constant feeding. You’re only fully safe from it if there’s been no ignition, but my fuse has been lit and there’s no stopping it.
I sweep her up, nearly knocking myself out by the low-hanging door header. My camera bangs against the side frame. I curse. She laughs.
“I can walk,” she tells me.
“Sounds fake to me.” I hold her tighter. “Grab my camera, though, so I don’t bust it worse than I already have.”
We make it home in one piece. I made her sit in the back seat because I didn’t trust myself not to reach over the console and finger her as I drove. I would’ve gotten into an accident and put us both in the hospital before I had a chance to taste her honey.
I slam the Rover in park and jump out. Before she can get the door fully open, I drag her out and press her up against the side of the SUV. My tongue plunges between her lips, and I wish it was my cock parting her mouth, sliding over her tongue and down her throat. The sensitive head of my dick throbs in anticipation. If I spend any more time out here kissing her, I’m going to end up fucking her in front of the basement garage security cams.
I pull away and wipe the back of my shaking hand over my mouth. “Let’s go,” I order, jerking my head to the elevator bank. Her unsteady gait makes me feel marginally better. She’s just as shook about this whole thing as I am.
The elevator is another test. We’re alone, and the temptation to take her to the floor is strong, but this is our first time and while I don’t have a bed of roses, fucking her in an elevator is not the memory I want to make.
By the time we get to the penthouse, my dick is so engorged with blood that I can barely walk. “Strip,” I command. My voice is dark and harsh, but it doesn’t scare her. I can see in the way her cheeks flush and her chest heaves that she’s as turned on as I am.
Our clothes go flying, and soon I am on her, skin against skin. The ruddy head of my cock presses up against her virgin entrance. I lean down and bite her nipple. She yelps and arches into my embrace. My cock slips inside her tiny, untouched opening. A gasp escapes her breath. She’s not ready yet, but I’ll make her so. I abandon her tits and move lower until my face is between her legs. I kiss her sex.
“Look at this pretty pussy. It’s hungry, isn’t it?” I give her a good lick from clit to asshole, letting the redolent scent of her arousal fill my lungs. One of these days, I’m taking some private photos of her. I want to memorialize her touching herself, the tips of her fingers inside of her hot cunt, her fingers toying with her nipples. I want a photo of my cock piercing this small pussy, her lips stretched wide around my thick shaft, her juice dripping like jewels on my cock.
I tongue her deep, scooping her nectar onto my tongue and swallowing every drop. She scratches my shoulders and sends cries of ecstasy into the air. Her fingers tug at my ears, bite into my scalp.
“More,” she moans, “give me more.”
I press her thighs and open her wider. She screams when she comes, a piercing, wailing demand for more.
“This is mine,” I growl. “This pussy is mine now.”
She nods. “Yes, yes. Now put your—” she gestures toward my cock—“inside of me before I die.”
I can’t have that. I scissor her cunt open with one hand and palm my shaft with the other. My cockhead is met with soft resistance as her tight channel clenches against the invasion of my thick, long member. I work myself in as she gasps and wriggles and cries. Each sound only ratchets up my excitement. Desire and need thrum through my bloodstream. I bite down on my tongue to keep from ramming forward, splitting her in two like I want to.
“Come on, baby, open up.” It’s half an order, half a plea.
“You’re too big,” she says.
As if that comment is going to make me shrink. “You’ll take me. I know you will.” I work her little clit with my free hand and take her tit in my mouth. I suck and nip at one nub and then the other until she’s writhing underneath me, and the size of my cock isn’t a focus anymore. Instead it’s how good I can make her feel. I inch my way inside, letting her adjust to each new intrusion.
Her pussy clenches and pulses around me, and the urge to come beats down relentlessly. I want to fill her up until my cum drips down her thighs, until she’s drenched with me. Pleasure slices through me as I spear her. The slap of our bodies, her gasps, my grunts form a sexual soundtrack matching the rhythm of our movements.
“Come for me, baby. Let me feel you shake and smother my cock.”
“Oh, Jay, yes. Fuck me hard.”
Her pussy tightens, and her thighs contract as the orgasm seizes her. Dove throws her head back, her delicate neck thrown in sharp relief. I capture her in my mind’s eye. Her glassy eyes. Her bowed back. Her fingers digging into the sheets. Her face full of ecstasy.
I surge forward, allowing my cum to pour out of me in long, hot streams, splashing against her cervix and triggering another orgasm for her. She lets out a long, keening cry. The words “I love you” form on my tongue. I know she’s not ready for those, so I whisper them along the damp column of her neck, her wet lips, her shiny cheek. I love you, Dove, my baby bird. Fly with me now.
Eighteen
Dove
It’s been hours since Jay stopped by for a quick lunch that we enjoyed in his car. My lips still tingle from our makeout session. Is it possible to fall in love within a matter of weeks? I barely touched my lunch. All I wanted to do was touch him. He’d found a private place for us to park and I got what I’d really been hungry for. It’s as if I can’t get enough of that man.
He tried to tell me no, that we shouldn't, but once his mouth was wrapped around mine there was no going back. I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist me for long. He never can. I suck in a breath, not wanting to get turned on at work.
I really do need to start looking for another job. I hate it here, and I know it’s more than me just hating it because I know I have to be here and not with Jay. He’s made me look at the world a little differently. Before I didn’t have the time to stop and see all of the beauty around me. It was always about the grind and trying to get by. He makes me feel as if I could be and have so much more.
I don’t fit in here. I never did. All the girls turn their noses up at me, and the men stare a little too long. I bite my lip, wondering what Jay would think about us living together full-time. I’m not sure how much longer we have at the place we've been staying. It’s going to suck when it’s time to go.
I’m just not sure what will happen once our stay there is finished. Will I go back to my crappy place and he goes back to his? We share a room at the moment. It would feel wrong to not sleep in bed with him every night. My heart aches at the thought. I’m lying to myself when I say that I may be in love with Jay. I know without a doubt that I am. I’m just too scared to admit it out loud. What if he doesn’t feel the same? What if I said it and it pushed him away?
The thought of him not being in my life scares the crap out of me. My own mom was always chasing love. One man after another. I am beginning to understand her a little more now. Being in love is the most amazing feeling in the world, one that can never be explained and makes you do things that you wouldn’t normally do. I get it now. She wanted that feeling. She was always chasing it.
Sadly for her, she always picked the wrong men. It was great at first until they left. She would always brush it off, saying that the only love she needed was mine. Yet I know that she must have been devastated. My heart would shatter if Jay walked away from me.
Maybe I’m naïve, but I can’t see him ever doing that. I saw some of the men my mom dated. They wanted a pretty girl to have on their arm. Jay doesn't care about those things. It doesn’t matter what I wear; each and every time he tells me I look breathtaking. Sometimes I wish I could see myself through his eyes.
I start to clean up my work area, getting ready to leave. I requested to get off early because I wanted to do something special for Jay. I’m not the best cook in the world, but I can make a mean meatloaf. It’s my mom's recipe and it’s easy enough. When we had lunch, he told me he had a few meetings, so I’m thinking I can beat him home. My plan is to surprise him with dinner and then let him have me for dessert.
I grab my bag, stepping out of the mail room. I collide with Thomas.
“Sorry sir,” I say immediately. I try not to make a face at the smell of his overpowering cologne.
“I need to see you in my office for a moment.”
“I’m actually supposed to—”
“Now,” he orders, cutting me off. I grit my teeth together but follow him into his office. His personal assistant is always short with me, but this time she gives me a look of pure disgust. “I didn't know you were for sale, Dove.”
I give him a confused look. I don’t have a clue as to what he’s talking about.
He turns, dropping a few pictures onto his desk. I look down to see what seems to have him so upset. I do a double take. But when I look again, I still see myself. All of them are of me. In one you can only see half my face. My eyes are closed. I look peaceful. The next one is the one I focus on. I know it’s from last weekend. I’m in a sheer white dress trying to work the blinds and failing miserably. I’m covered in cookie dough. I recall Jay licking every bit of it from my body.
The only problem was the dress was sheer and you could easily see the outline of my breasts and nipples. Of course that’s the one that Thomas decides to focus on. He picks it up and disgust fills me at the way he stares at it.
“So is money what it takes to get inside of you or was it the Pulitzer Prize that had you spreading your legs?” Before I know what I’m doing, my hand comes out, and I smack him right across the face. He stands there shocked for a moment. I grab the pictures and storm out of his office. I don’t think I need to tell anyone I quit. I think the message was loud and clear.
I pull out my phone as I make my way out of the building to call my sister. She picks up after the first ring.
“I think Jay’s been lying to me.” She doesn't say anything. “Avery. Did you hear what I said?”
“What did he lie about?” she asks a little too slowly.
“Avery!” I snap as I flag down a cab. I’m not in the mood to wait to take the train. I hop in and rattle off the address.
“It’s nothing big, which is the only reason I didn’t tell you. I knew he was a good guy with good intentions and that you would have never given him a chance.” I hear her words, but they still don’t tell me what I need to know.
“Did I mention that there are pictures of me that somehow got passed around?” She lets out a gasp. When I hear a loud crash I know it’s her desk chair.
“You might not realize it, but Jay is kind of a big deal.”
“Oh, you mean like he has a Pulitzer Prize and yet he somehow lives in a shit apartment next to mine?”
“Huh.” I can tell she’s thinking. “That is weird. Why did I never think of that?”
“Oh, I don’t know because within days he had us staying in a penthouse.”
“That place is killer, Dove.”
“That’s not the point! The man I’m in love with lied to me. Do I even know him?”
“Dove—”
I cut her off. “The fact that you knew and didn't tell me—” I pause for a second, trying to get my thoughts together. “You’re supposed to be my person. He was also supposed to be my person. You were the two people I trusted, and now, now I…” I decide to hang up. I turn off the phone because I don’t know how to feel. What I do know is that once again I feel alone in the world.
When the taxi gets to the building, I pay and head straight for the elevator. When I get into our place, I can tell he’s not here. I go to his office and start flipping through the folders on his desk. The first ones are pictures of the city. They're all beautiful.
When I make it to the next, my eyes start to sting. They are all of me in different parts of the city. I flip through them, mesmerized by what he’s captured in them. For the first time I truly see myself, how I see the world, and most of all how he sees me. Tears run down my cheeks as I continue to take in one picture after the other.
When I hear a noise, I look up to see Jay standing in the doorway of his office.
“Dove, I—”
I hold my hand up and he stops talking. “I know. I know everything.”
He shakes his head. Some of those pictures in that book were from before I’d ever met Jay.
“I just have one question. Do not lie to me.”
“I won’t.”
I run my finger across the one picture I’d gotten of him one time.
“Have you done this with other women?”
“Never,” he says instantly, taking a step further into the office. “I’d been lost for a while. My camera and I couldn't capture anything. Then I saw you. I snapped one picture and then another. I couldn’t stop. With each shot life and color seeped back inside of me. All of it is because of you.”
He steps closer to me. I come around the desk. “Have I hidden things? Yes. I knew one day you’d find out. I also knew that I’d rather have you for a moment in time than not at all. I’d rather risk living the rest of my life with a broken heart than never having you in it at all. To me it would be worth it.”
“Jay.” I whisper his name. I can’t get the tears to stop. He was right. I don’t think I would have given him a shot. So instead he moved in next door to me and took his time. “You’ve been trying to make me fall in love with you.” It’s not a question.
“Blue jays mate for life. It’s you or no one.”
My mouth pulls up in a half smile. I pick up one of the pictures he took of me. I was looking right at him when he snapped it. “You have to know I’m already in love with you. You and that camera miss nothing.”
“If I’m in love with you and doves mate for life, then what does that mean for us?” Any space between us he clears as he lifts me off my feet. I wrap my legs around him and kiss him back as passionately as he kisses me.
“No more lies or half-truths,” I say between kisses.
“Then I should probably tell you I’ve been working on getting that Thomas fucker disbarred.”
I laugh against his mouth. “It doesn't matter. I quit. Or maybe I was fired. I smacked him. He had some of these pictures and said some things that were out of line.”
“Fuck. I’m so sorry. I’m working on finding out how some of them got leaked. Some of those were for our eyes only.”
“I’m the one that’s sorry. That’s your work, Jay.”
“But some of the pictures were a little…” He doesn't finish his sentence, but I can see the jealousy all over his face.
“I looked pretty damn good so I’m not complaining.” I laugh. Jay doesn't seem to think it’s as funny as I do. I kiss him again. As upset as I was when I got into that cab, it was all worth it.
Here I am with the man of my dreams. A man who thinks I actually bring the sun out each day. I close my eyes and thank my mom for giving me the one thing she always wanted. The other half of a soulmate. A true love.
Epilogue
Jay
“Hannah, look at the camera. Look at your uncle.” Avery snaps her fingers in front of my lens while her daughter stubbornly keeps her eyes focused on her toes.
“It’ll be fine,” Dove reassures her. “The best photos are when you aren’t looking at the camera anyway.”
Avery is undeterred and continues to cajole her daughter, but the baby isn’t listening. She’s too busy pulling her feet up to her mouth. The imbalance topples the girl over, and Avery rushes over to give aid while I take photos of it all.
I sense a warm body crouch down beside me, the warm vanilla scent telling me that it’s my beloved. “You hungry, darling?” she asks.
“Hmmm,” I murmur
and press the shutter button again. I am always hungry, but not for food. In the ten years we’ve been together, my appetite for my wife has not diminished. I could fuck her ten times a day, pass out in exhaustion, and wake up the next day more ravenous than ever.
“Not for that,” Dove snickers quietly.
“You know me well,” I say and move the lens a little to the left.
“After all these years, I should hope so.” Her hand palms the back of my head. “Your hair is getting long.”
“Should I cut it?” Maya, our daughter, examines the chessboard in front of her. Her small head dips forward at the same time as her grandfather’s head. Their two crowns almost meet as Maya’s hand creeps forward to move her bishop. Dove has made a tentative reconciliation with her father. He’s funded a large educational trust for Maya, and in return he gets to come to family functions a couple times a year. There’s still pain there, but Dove’s moving on. I support her in whatever way I can, such as low-key threatening the old man whenever he looks like he’s going to say some dumb thing. Apparently, telling him that I can give an interview at any time to a national magazine about the pain my family is going through due to his abandonment of Dove is enough to keep him in line. Thankfully, I haven’t had to use that threat in a while, and the more time he spends around Dove and Maya, the more I can tell he’s full of regrets.
“No. I like it long. Looks extra sexy.”
“Watch me grow it to my knees.”
“That length is not sexy.”
“You love Legolas. I think you paused on every frame he was in for at least an extra ten seconds.”
“How would you know? You fell asleep during the last movie.”
“It was the fourth time you’d watched it.”
“True.” She straightens, and I mourn the loss of her touch. “It’s a good movie, though.”
“The best.” I tuck the camera away and tuck her hand in mine. I like having her touch me at all times. It centers me. Before her, I was like one of those lost cities. Tumbleweeds were rolling around my heart like it was an empty town square. Now it’s lit up with her love and Maya, which is better than any prize for literature or photography a person could ever be awarded. I rub a hand across my chest. Feels good to be me.
