She moaned against his lips when he pulled away. Her breathing slowing down as her heartbeat raced inside her chest.
“I couldn’t resist. You were just staring up at me looking so damn helpless.” He rubbed his fingers along her cheekbone.
“Jake,” she whispered. She hadn’t looked, but Katie must have been very close by now. “Katie...”
“Jake, how are you?”
She watched as Jake turned his head to the familiar voice, but surprisingly, his expression never faltered from that sexy, irresistible smile he had plastered on his face. It was the smile Jessica had happily fallen for many times before.
“Katie. Long-time, no see,” he said, reaching out to kiss the olive skin on her cheek.
She seemed taken aback by that.
“You look lovely. As always,” he added, turning back to Jessica to grace her with a caring wink. She didn’t know what he did, but she didn’t seem so worried about Katie anymore. He made her feel like she was the only woman in the room.
“And Jessica.” Katie turned to look at her without question.
“Katie, how have you been?” Jessica edged a simple smile and tried to sound as nice as she could. A lot nicer than she felt, at least.
“I have been good. I never realized you and Jake were together. I never saw that one coming.” She waved a long fingernail between them both.
Jessica couldn’t help but notice the hint of sarcasm in her tone.
“Ah, we’re...” Jessica hesitated, unsure of how to answer.
Jake wrapped a supportive arm around her waist and squeezed her gently. “We are doing really well,” Jake backed in, and she sighed with sheer relief.
But wait, did he just agree they were together? Katie had seen him with his tongue back her throat, which must have been his reasoning.
“And you always were a poor liar, Katie.” He shook his head, smiling to himself.
Her eyes widened, and Jessica knew there were a thousand silent words spoken between them at that moment.
“Never saw it coming?” he repeated, chuckling deeply under his breath. She made a mental note to ask him what he meant about that.
“Have a lovely evening, Katie.” Jake reached in once again to kiss her cheek. “I think your fiancé is on his way over here.” Jake nodded in the direction behind, where a tall, slim man in a black tux was approaching them.
As they walked away, Jessica looked back at a dumbstruck Katie, biting on her red-painted lip.
“Have a seat.” Jake pulled out a chair at a large round table for her to sit down.
Their names were engraved in reserved signs along the white-covered table; with other people from different companies, including Mr. Johnson. She recognized a few, but only vaguely. The rest, she was sure Jake would know.
Who didn’t Jake know? Who didn’t know Jake would be more like it?
They were the only people sitting, the rest were walking about, getting into conversations with other business colleagues. The hall was full of people in glamorous gowns and tuxedos. The warm-coloured lights reflected down on the band and orchestra, who were getting into full swing. Jessica was sure with a few more champagnes, those women with the elegant, glamorous gowns would make their mark on the dance floor.
“Do you miss her?” she finally asked, breaking his intense gaze by looking away.
He exhaled loudly, gushing his surprise. “Wasn’t expecting that.”
“Do you?”
“No,” he answered, and from the firmness of his voice, she believed him.
She noticed he didn’t look at Katie the way he used to when they were in love. As much as Jessica used to despise Jake, she always admired the way he looked at Katie, the way he protected her.
“If you had asked me that question last year, I would have said yes. I don’t know what it is, but I felt nothing.” And he meant it. She could see it in his eyes.
“I can see why you loved her, though.” Jessica looked over to where Katie was standing. Her shimmering gold dress fell loosely from under her breast and her blonde, bob-cut hair fell to just above her shoulders, exposing her bare back. “She is stunning.” She returned her eyes to the person who mattered most.
“You have no idea, do you? You have no idea how amazingly beautiful you are. There is no comparison. Every woman in this room is going to hate you because they want to be you. Every man in this room is going to hate me because I am with you.”
He lifted her chin so she was looking at him, then he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. She was glad she had blush on her cheeks because they were burning like a fire.
“You are going to have to stop that.”
“No can do.” He winked, probably at the flushed expression on her face.
She was blushing because of this man. She was turning into a teenage girl. She needed saving from his charm, but the only person who could save her was herself.
Guess what?
She was too lazy to save herself. It was too much effort to resist him anymore. But she needed to, didn’t she? Wasn’t the whole reason she was trying to stay away from him in the beginning, because she didn’t want to get hurt?
But what if she didn’t have lots of time left to live her life? Was she better to live it the best way she knew how?
She didn’t know, but right now, Jake made her feel things she never felt before, and she wouldn’t throw that away. Not tonight, anyway.
Maybe tomorrow.
“You okay there, Jess?” Jake tilted his head.
“Sorry. I was in one of my trances.”
“Uh-huh.” He raised an eyebrow in suspicion. “By the way.” His expression soon changed to one of suspense, and his lips curved up into a cheeky grin. “Don’t be mad, but look at what I got.”
Jessica’s jaw dropped as he pulled out a small square card from his inside pocket.
“You got us a room?” she questioned.
“Well, you know. Going back to one of our places would have been too far. I don’t think I could wait that long.”
“You could have told me. I don’t have any clothes.”
“Baby, where we are going, you don’t need clothes.”
“I have to choose my words wisely with you. Now give me that.” She grabbed the key from his hand, laughing at the distraught look on his face. “Believe me, it’s safer if I keep it safe in my bag. You have a habit of losing things.”
As she looked over his shoulder, Jessica saw another familiar face gliding towards her. It was Mr. Johnson’s wife, Nora. She spread a smile across her small, thin lips.
“Is that our Jessica?” Nora squealed, reaching out her arms.
Immediately, Jessica rose from her chair and embraced the well-rounded woman. Her dark brown hair was pinned back neatly, and her pale eyes were glistening as the small wrinkles bore deeper into her skin as her smile widened.
“Hi Nora,” Jessica managed as she hugged her closer.
“You look absolutely stunning, sweetheart.”
“Thank you,” Jessica said, feeling the heat from Jake’s body on her back.
“Jake, my dear, there you are.” Nora hugged and kissed him on the cheek. “You look very handsome. You know how to pick them, love.” She smiled at Jessica.
“You look wonderful, Nora.” Jake motioned his hand, using his charming ways. It came to him like second nature. He could even make this sixty-year-old woman blush like a girl.
“I’m going to get a drink.”
Jessica shivered, feeling Jake’s breath down her neck, smiling as he whispered in his ear, “Vodka and orange juice, I’m guessing? Or do you still drink that stuff, because I can’t remember it doing you any good when you were twenty-one?” He smirked.
“White wine, please.”
Jessica grimaced at the blurred memories of her 21st birthday. She remembered some tables and a pole, and she danced on and around all of them.
“And a white wine for you too?” He smiled at Nora, who willingly accepted his offer.
&nbs
p; That night, after the meal, the conversation at the table flowed just as well as the alcohol did. Jessica knew she couldn’t get drunk, not with the medication she was taking. And she could feel a headache coming on, pounding at her temple.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” she promised Jake as she got up to use the ladies’ room.
Once she got inside, she opened her small bag and took out the tube of pills. She tried her best to swallow it without water. It was a struggle, but she managed it. At least this time she wouldn’t have Jake fussing over her because she fainted into his arms.
How cliche?
She quickly fixed her makeup, applied some lipstick, and made her way towards the main hall once again. But not everything was the same as when she left.
She thought her heart tore into shreds as her feet brought her nearer to the table. Katie was wrapped in Jake’s arms on the dance floor. Both of their feet were moving in unison.
It’s just a dance. Calm down. Get a grip on yourself, Jessica reminded herself, taking a deep breath.
The song stopped just as Jessica began moving again; they all reached the table at the same time. Katie offered herself to Jessica’s seat. But what she saw next made her want to run back to the toilet and throw her heart up. She watched as Katie’s perfectly manicured fingers travelled up and down Jake’s leg and she had no sign of stopping. He caught her hand and pushed her away. It gave Jessica some consolation, but it didn’t stop the bitterness from boiling.
“We were going out for over ten years.”
Jessica caught the conversation Katie was having with the entire table as she sat down on the vacant chair on the other side of Jake.
She felt uncomfortable even sitting there.
“You okay?” Jake finally asked after a few moments. “You’re as pale as a ghost, sweetheart.”
He was probably right. She could still feel the pounding at her temples, but she knew the medication would set in soon.
“I’m fine,” she said weakly, knowing he might not have heard her because of the music.
“And we were engaged for two years,” Katie went on, making Jessica’s gaze travel to her.
Everyone seemed intrigued to meet Jake’s ex-fiancé.
Pity Jessica wasn’t so eager to hear about it.
“Isn’t that lovely? I can’t believe you two were going out since school,” a young woman replied. She had been sitting at the table with Jessica that night, but she still had no clue who she was.
“Yes. Yes, it was,” Katie slurred, and for the first time, Jessica noticed the glossiness in her eyes and the way she swayed in her seat.
She was drunk.
Very drunk.
The last time Jessica remembered Katie drunk was the night she did a striptease outside some nightclub. Did that girl not learn to take it slow?
“Jake won’t love anybody else the way he loved me,” Katie stated, staring up at him. Jessica could feel her heartbeat faster and Jake’s face formed into a state of rage.
“I think that’s enough,” he told her, a secret warning hidden in his words.
“But it’s true. Nobody will be good enough for you. You will not find another me. I think you should just take me back.” She fell onto his shoulder and the whole table erupted into laughter.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Jessica told him once again as she got up to leave.
She couldn’t listen to it. She knew she wasn’t good enough for Jake, but she didn’t need it rubbed in her face.
For too long, Rob had told her she wasn’t worth anything, and she wasn’t good enough for anyone. A part of her had tried for so long to tell herself it wasn’t true. Another part couldn’t help but believe it.
Her shaking hands reached into her bag, her fingers beating lipstick and eye shadows out of her way.
“It’s a tiny bag. How hard can it be to find this thing?” through gritted teeth, she mumbled, cursing to herself in a raging heat.
Even when she found it, she fumbled for a few moments, fighting back tears of frustration.
Then she found herself having to suppress a scream when a warm hand covered hers.
“Let me get it,” Jake offered, opening the heavy door into the extensive suite.
“Christ, Jake, do you always sneak up on people?” she spat, feeling her pulse go out of control.
He just smiled softly as he gestured for her to go inside. She walked in, feeling the warmth of the modernly decorated room. Black, white and red seemed to be the reoccurring theme throughout the far too large space, where a huge four-poster bed settled in the centre.
The room felt too big. It wasn’t small enough to contain the bubbling of emotions threatening to rupture.
“I’m sorry about that,” he whispered, closing the door behind him.
Jessica could feel the tears sting her eyes, and she hated it. She didn’t want to cry over this man.
“It’s not your fault.” Her voice sounded weak and vulnerable as she placed her bag on the table.
“Look at me, Jess.”
She closed her lids, letting the silence of the room cradle her. She didn’t want to look at him and feel things because she didn’t even know what she felt anymore.
“Jess,” he repeated, his voice agitated and pleading.
“What Jake?” she snapped, turning around to face him.
Instantly, she shook her head, trying her best to let the bad thoughts escape. She didn’t want to let her tears fall. She didn’t want to let him see her cry.
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. She had not the slightest clue what was wrong with her. Maybe she was just mad at herself. Maybe it was the jealousy she had no right to feel.
“Are you going to figure it out soon?” His voice was rising in pitch, and she knew he was getting annoyed with her.
“Maybe. Are you going to stop confusing me anytime soon?”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know what you want from me, Jake.” She bit down on her full bottom lip. She needed to think. “Sometimes, I think you are great. But then, I can’t help but wonder, all those amazing things you say, are they just to get me into bed?” She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, threatening to spill over.
“Do you honestly think I do all of that just to get you into bed? Don’t be so stupid.”
“I’m not being stupid, Jake. I’m preparing myself because let’s face it, you’re not exactly the virgin of the year. I thought I could do this. I thought I could get through this in one piece, but we just end up at square one all the time.”
“You are completely blind.”
He was mad now; really mad. She could hear the flaming anger erupting from his lips.
“You know what? Forget about it,” she fought, storming past him in a rage. She had had enough.
But she should have known, even if she had enough, he didn’t, and he caught her wrist, swinging her around to face him.
“I’m fighting for you. It’s you I’ve been fighting for all along.”
Her eyes widened in shock, and a single tear trailed down her cheek.
“Can’t you see that? Even Katie could see it. She had an affair because of me.”
“Jake, don’t blame…”
“No, it’s true. And I don’t blame her. I should probably thank her.” He shrugged, loosening his grip.
“We weren’t always the happy couple people saw. We fought over the simplest of things. Mainly you.”
Jessica could feel the breath catch in her throat. What was he talking about? What had she to do with their relationship?
“To her, you were a simple thing. To me, you were something totally different. I don’t even know if you remember this, or even care, but I used to call you every night when you were with Rob. I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay. I knew what he was like, but you wouldn’t let me get involved because you said you loved him. And it killed me. It killed me to hear you sa
y you loved somebody else. And I don’t even know why, because I thought we hated each other. Then when I saw the bruises, all I wanted to do was protect you. Katie wasn’t stupid. She could see it. She couldn’t say a bad word about you, and I snapped.”
Jessica felt her chest rise and fall frantically as the explosions of her heavy breathing scraped through her mouth.
“Jake,” she begged as the tears flowed freely from her eyes.
“No. Listen. We fought in that relationship until I realized I was fighting my way out of it. I was fighting for you. And I have been stupid enough not to want to see it until the last couple of months.” He moved his hands to her face and stroked her tears with his thumb. “So, what if my mother was right, Jess? What if you are the one that has been worth fighting for all along?” He paused for a moment, searching her face for something. “Christ Jess, I’ve fallen in love with you.”
She looked up into his big brown eyes and she couldn’t find the words to speak. He had just admitted everything she wanted to hear. But he had also confirmed everything she dreaded hearing.
“So even if you don’t believe me. I will not give up fighting until you do. Just promise you will still be there.”
God, she hated irony.
“I’m not very good at keeping promises,” she cried.
“You will if I hold on tightly enough.”
Then he leaned in and crushed her with his kiss, backing her up against the door where his body pressed against hers.
And at that moment, she knew she had lost it.
No, not her mind.
Her heart.
Chapter Sixteen
Jessica blinked at the heavy fog in her eyes and rubbed away the sleep while she embraced the warmth she was wrapped in. Her throat was dry, her lips swollen, and her hair matted against the pillow, but she didn’t care. It didn’t stop the joy of butterflies swirling around inside.
Watch Over My Life: Emotional Love Story (What Will Be Book Series) Page 12
