by Ava McArthur
“I just wonder if it can really last. Perhaps I’m being silly and I should just take joy in the fact that we hae a happy home. But I cannae shake the feeling that something bad is waiting for us.”
“I think ye are worrying tae much. Just because bad things happened in the past doesnae mean they’re gaeing tae happen in the future. Ye seem happy enough with the way things are; ye should just enjoy life rather than worrying about it,” Caitriona said. It was simple wisdom, but that didn’t make it any less true.
Moira sipped her water and breathed in deeply. It had taken a long time for things to feel right within the Monroe clan, but gradually they had improved to a point where Moira felt assured of her place in the world.
She was twenty now and was quite content with being an aunt and being able to watch Gregor and Lileas grow up into fine young people. She was surrounded by beauty and braying animals, and in Kirsten, she had a friend who was like the sister she had never had.
In many ways, her life was perfect, and even when she tried to think of ways in which her life could be improved, there was nothing that immediately came to mind. She assumed that most girls her own age would be filled with thoughts of love, but nothing like that came to her mind.
While a part of her would like to experience the heady feelings of romance, she found it difficult to trust anyone with her heart. After seeing the deviousness of her uncle, she knew that not everyone could be trusted, and it seemed too much of a risk to allow herself to be vulnerable.
Moira spent the early morning tending to the flowers and walking among the sheep and the cows. Her peaceful reverie was interrupted by loud laughs and whooping screams as Gregor and Lileas ran towards her. They were so filled with energy that they almost bundled Moira over as they wrapped their arms around her legs. Moira laughed and told them to calm down.
“Mam said ye would play with us!” Gregor said.
“Oh, Gregor, ye know I’m always happy tae play,” Moira replied. Lileas reached up to Moira, wanting to be carried.
“Ye know, ye are really getting tae big tae be carried like that,” Moira said with a slanting smile, placing her hands on her hips, but she was unable to deny her niece the request. She picked up Lileas with a grunt, as Lileas was growing all the time. The little girl was delighted, though, and squealed with delight as Moira spun her through the air. Gregor picked up a stick and threw it.
The noise of the children was accompanied by the familiar sound of another precious member of the family: Max, the dog. He yapped as he ran forward and chased after the stick that Gregor had thrown. While Max was Marcas’s dog, he actually belonged to the whole family and had shown quite an affinity for the children; his bond with Gregor was most notable. Gregor guffawed as he threw the stick as far as he could and then chased after it along with Max.
Moira noticed how a few of the sheep moved away, but the cows remained undeterred. Moira held Lileas in her arms and enjoyed the comfortable weight.
“Ye know, ye are getting tae look more like yer mam every day,” Moira said.
Lileas smiled at this. “She’s sae pretty!”
“Aye, that she is.”
“Sae are ye,” Lileas said.
Moira smiled and thanked her for the compliment, although in her mind, she wasn’t anything special, especially not compared to Kirsten.
“I know what we can dae...shall we make a flower garland that yer mam can put in her hair?” Moira suggested. Lileas thought this was a wonderful idea, and Moira set her down. Lileas went scampering around to find daisies and other flowers. Moira followed carefully, making sure that Lileas didn’t come across anything dangerous, as some of the most beautiful plants could also be the most deadly.
But Lileas’s legs weren’t long enough to carry her far, and Max was keeping a good eye on Gregor, although Moira also glanced over her shoulder to make sure that Gregor wasn’t getting in any trouble.
She and Lileas ended up gathering enough flowers to make garlands for the lot of them, although Gregor and Max did not wear theirs.
“Dae ye think she’ll like them?” Lileas asked.
“Oh, aye, I think she’ll love them,” Moira said, proud of the work that she had done. More time had passed than she had realized, and on the horizon, she saw the tall, imposing form of Marcas approach.
“Look, yer da is here,” she said.
Lileas and Gregor looked up with excitement, as did Max. As soon as they realized that Marcas was near, they rushed towards him, babbling with excited conversation. Unlike Moira, Marcas was strong enough to pick up both children at once. Gregor was eager to tell him about how he had played with Marcas, while Lileas was proud to show him the garlands she had made with Moira. Max, not to be outdone by the children, was on his hind legs, pawing at his master. Moira couldn’t help but laugh.
Even just a few years ago, she never would have thought that her brooding, reclusive brother would have turned into such a happy family man. There were still elements of his old personality that would never be shed, such as his need to spend some time walking alone at night on the moors, but his disposition had changed, and much of that was because of Kirsten.
She had opened his heart and shown him that it was possible to fall in love. She had given him a family and changed the mood of the Monroe clan. Moira dreaded to think of what life would have been like had she not arrived.
“That looks wonderful,” Marcas said, and gladly took the garland that Lileas had made for him, placing it upon his head. Lileas chuckled and hugged her father. As soon as Gregor saw that Marcas was wearing a garland, he took his and put it on his head too, mimicking his father.
“Why dinnae ye gae and show yer mam? I’m sure she would be proud of ye, and I bet she cannae wait tae wear it. I need tae talk tae yer aunt,” Marcas said. Lileas and Gregor obeyed their father without question, showing the same devotion that Moira and Marcas had had for their father. The children scurried back home, with Max keeping pace with them.
“I hope ye are proud of what ye hae created. They are wonderful children, sae happy and full of spirit. They remind me of us when we were younger, before…” She trailed off and her gaze drifted across the fields to the tall monument that stood outside the keep, marking the place where their father had fallen.
“Aye, well, let’s hope they dinnae suffer a similar tragedy,” Marcas said, forcing a smile. “I always wish that he was still with us, but there are times when I wish that more than ever.”
“Ye seem troubled, Marcas. How did the meeting with the Calbraiths gae?”
By the look on his face, she knew things hadn’t gone well. “I just dinnae know what I can dae. I thought all the troubles were behind us after the matters with Roderick. I gave them more territory and promised them more favorable terms in trade in the hope that it would lead tae peace.”
“Are they threatening war?” Moira asked, her voice terse with tension. She had already seen her home besieged more than she would have liked, and she hated the idea of another army coming to threaten them, even more so now that Gregor and Lileas were in their lives. She feared that history would be doomed to repeat itself and that Gregor and Lileas would be forced to stand near the window and watch Marcas die before their eyes.
Marcas pressed his lips together and scratched his chin. “Nae yet, but it does worry me. I haed hoped we could hae put all our years of enmity behind us, but it seems as though they are reluctant tae change. They are never satisfied with what we give them. They want more and more…and I fear that eventually, they’re gaeing tae ask for tae much. Then I’m worried about what they’ll dae when I finally tell them nay.”
“There cannae be another war…there just cannae be. We hae suffered tae much, Marcas. Ye cannae let it happen!” Moira said, her face pinching in panic. The color drained from her cheeks, and anxiety swam in the pit of her stomach. Why did these clans have to be so complicated? Why couldn’t they all just live in peace? Was there not enough room in the Highlands for all of them?
“Actually
, that’s something that I want tae talk tae ye about. As it happens, there is one way for us tae avoid another war, but it depends on ye, nae me.”
At first, Moira couldn’t glean the meaning of his words, but he stared intently into her eyes, and then she knew. The idea gripped her heart and squeezed all the hope out of it. Her eyes widened in terror, and she began to shake her head.
“Nay, Marcas. Please dinnae ask this of me.” The words rushed out in an anguished whisper as Moira felt everything begin to change.
2
“I cannae believe he would dae this!” Moira collapsed on her bed in tears. They ran like a hot spring down her cheeks, which were now reddened and flushed. She curled up and clutched her pillow as though it would offer any sort of comfort. Kirsten was there beside her, stroking Moira’s back and arms, murmuring whispers that it would be fine, but in this moment, Moira couldn’t believe that.
“How could he dae this? How could he dae this behind my back, without even talking tae me?!” Moira said. Her words were sharp and stinging, which reflected the pain and betrayal she felt. All her life, she had trusted Marcas with everything, and now, when it mattered, he had used her life as a bargaining chip.
“I know it’s difficult,” Kirsten said, “but this is the way of things. Ye must know that Marcas wouldnae dae this if there was any other way.”
“But I…I cannae leave. What about Gregor and Lileas? What about Max? What about…what about us, Kirsten? I cannae leave ye. Ye are my best friend,” Moira sat up and wiped the tears from her eyes, although another stream flowed down and made her cheeks glisten as brightly as the morning dew. “Ye are a sister tae me.”
Kirsten opened her arms and embraced Moira tightly. Moira buried herself in Kirsten’s warmth, sobbing fretfully, holding on to her as desperately as a drowning man would cling to driftwood in the middle of the ocean. For a while, they remained silent. Kirsten allowed Moira to express her sorrow until she was ready to speak.
“I dinnae want tae speak badly of yer husband, but I hate him,” Moira said.
Kirsten laughed. “Ye dinnae hate him,” she said gently. “Ye are just angry with him, and I cannae blame ye. I felt the same way when I learned I was tae be married. I haed a life that I liked. I haed friends and a home that I didnae want tae leave, but it was my duty for the clan. It turned out well for me, and it might turn out just as happily for ye as well.”
“Aye, but we are nae the Calbraiths,” Moira said darkly.
Kirsten laughed again. “That is true, but dinnae forget that when I arrived, yer brother didnae have the finest reputation. He was always brooding and stubborn, barely paying me any attention until he softened. It wasnae easy for me, and I doubt it will be easy for ye, but sometimes as women, we hae tae make the best of the choice that is made for us. It is our curse of being born intae nobility.
“I hae a friend, a cousin, and she felt similarly tae. One day she told me that sometimes she used tae dream of being a commoner sae that she could simply marry who she wanted and dae what she wanted without having anyone tell her otherwise, but that’s nae who we are. We are ladies, and our position means something. Because of us, alliances are formed, and wars are avoided.”
Kirsten’s words were impassioned, and Moira couldn’t help but be swayed by them, even though her heart still burned with anguish. She took a few moments to compose herself, dabbing her eyes.
“Did Marcas talk tae ye about this?”
Kirsten averted her gaze. “He told me that it might be a possibility, although he didnae want it tae come tae this. Ye must understand that, Moira. Ye know he loves having ye around here. We both dae, and the children adore ye. He told me nae tae tell ye in case he could find another way tae come tae an agreement with the laird.”
“I suppose he couldnae. But what am I tae dae, Kirsten? How can I be apart from ye and the children? It’s all I’ve ever known.”
Kirsten gripped her forearm tightly. “Ye will be fine. Ye are a kind soul, a good woman, and people will see that. Just make sure ye arenae thrown intae the dungeon,” she said with a wry smile. This helped to diffuse the tension somewhat, and Moira even laughed a little.
“Aye, I suppose it couldnae gae as badly as yer arrival here. I just…I just wish I haed more time. It’s the shock of it all that haes taken me by surprise. Marcas never even mentioned it as a possibility.”
“I dinnae think he wanted tae admit it tae himself. Ye mean a lot tae him,” Kirsten sighed. “Things must be bad if he haes tae resort tae this. I truly thought the conflict with the Calbraiths was over once we uncovered Roderick’s plan.”
“Aye, I think we all did. I suppose it’s hard tae undo generations of enmity,” Moira said. “What are we gaeing tae tell Gregor and Lileas?”
“We’ll tell them the truth—that ye are gaeing on an adventure and that ye will be back. Ye arenae gaeing far. And I know Marcas wouldnae forget about ye. None of us could. We’re always gaeing tae take care of ye, and I know that if anyone in that clan mistreated ye, Marcas would be the first tae raise an army and take back everything that haes been given tae them.”
“I hope it doesnae come tae that.”
“I hope sae tae, and I’m sure that Laird Calbraith would feel the same. This marriage gives a seal tae the peace. Think of it...ye are the woman who will bring taegether clans that hae been warring for generations. Ye are the one who will finally put aside all the years of war that haes plagued these clans. That’s something tae be proud of, Moira. That’s a story that will gae down in the history books.”
Moira blushed at this. She felt a little better after talking to Kirsten, and she had always been of a pragmatic mind, so she knew there wasn’t really much point to all this anguish. The decision had been made, and there wasn’t much at all she could do about it—even though she knew that if she pleaded desperately with Marcas and begged as hard as she could, she might have been able to convince him to reverse his decision. But that would be selfish of her.
They all had to make sacrifices for their clan, and Kirsten was right when she said that this was part of Moira’s duty. Her father had sacrificed himself on the battlefield to protect the clan, and in a way, Moira was doing something similar. If she did not marry into the Calbraith clan, it was likely that war would break out again, and she would not be able to live with herself if anything happened to Marcas.
She had seen the horrors of war firsthand and had always vowed to do anything she could to prevent it. If that meant getting married, then so be it. She would just have to make the best out of the situation and hope that her husband eschewed the usual stereotype of a Calbraith man: brutal and blunt and arrogant.
“I think I’d like tae see the children now and spend as much time with them as I can,” Moira said.
They went to find the children and played with them until it was their bedtime. Despite Gregor and Lileas protesting their tiredness, their yawns and the sleepy look in their eyes betrayed them. Moira helped Kirsten carry them up to bed, and Kirsten kissed them goodnight. She let Moira say goodnight to them by herself.
Moira moved between the two small beds; her heart swelled with love. Tears glistened in her eyes again. She had hoped to remain and watch these children grow up, but alas, it was not meant to be. While she knew that Kirsten was right in saying that she wasn’t going very far, she might as well have been moving a world away.
There were so many little things she would miss in the day-to-day life at the castle, and every time she came back, Gregor and Lileas would have grown even more. Still, she tried not to let herself sink into sorrow just yet. There would be plenty of time for that later. For now, she wanted to bask in the love she had for her niece and nephew.
She caressed their cheeks and tried to keep her voice from trembling.
“Gregor, Lileas, I hae tae tell ye something. I’m gaeing away for a wee while. Well, for a long time, actually. I hae a marriage arranged for me. Yer mam will explain more tae ye when we wake up, but I want ye tae know
that I love ye, and that I will always be proud of ye. If ye ever want tae see me, I wilnae be far away, and ye can be sure that I’ll be back tae see ye. It’s gaeing tae be difficult at first because I hae been sae used tae seeing ye every day. In a way, I’m gaeing tae miss ye more than I’ll miss Marcas or Kirsten.”
She paused for a moment to breathe, ready to tell the children about how much more she wished she could teach them and how much there was for them to learn. She didn’t want to leave anything unsaid, and yet it seemed inevitable because how could she ever sum up the emotions that existed within her heart?
But just as she was about to speak again, she heard Gregor snore softly, and Lileas turned around, sucking her thumb as she slept. Moira smiled, wondering if they had heard anything she said, but decided it didn’t really matter.
They knew that she loved them, and she was sure that Kirsten and Marcas would explain why things had to be this way. She leaned over them and placed a soft kiss on their foreheads. Neither child stirred; they were firmly locked in the land of dreams, where everything was calm and nothing bad ever happened.
Moira slipped out of the room and closed the door quietly behind her, quelling the sadness that lingered inside. She returned to her room and began to pack her things, as she would be leaving in the morning, ready to begin her new life immediately.
Kirsten came in a short while later. Her face was pale, and her eyes were puffy. It was clear that she had been crying. She carried in with her the dress that she had worn on her wedding day.
“I know ye dinnae want tae think about it, but I wanted tae offer ye this dress,” she said.
Moira knew the dress well, for it was the one her own mother had worn. She took the dress from Kirsten and wondered how her mother had felt on her wedding day. Was she as nervous as Moira was? Holding the dress in her arms made her feel connected not only with her own mother, but with Kirsten as well, and indeed with all the other Highland women who were given away as brides to form alliances and end wars. It wasn’t as bad as she had initially thought.
