"Joli, honey," Zander said. I’d left the windows cracked, so I could hear how gentle his voice was. That just made things worse and all I could do was sit there and shake my head.
The car door opened. Despite my refusal to look at him, I sensed when he crouched down next to me. But he didn't say anything. Instead, he reached into the car and pulled the lever that controlled the hood. I knew that I needed to get it together, at least enough that I could get through these next few minutes with feigned politeness, but when Zander returned and knelt down next to me again, I couldn't manage to even look at him. He ended up leaning across me so he could start the car himself. He only did it for a moment, then turned the car off.
"It looks like you've got a bad starter. I can fix it, but this is a pretty old car and I doubt Pete has the part in stock. Even if he does, it will take me a little while. Why don't you let me take you home?"
I must've nodded or something, because he rose and stepped back, but also put his hand out so it was in my line of sight. The last thing I wanted to do was touch him, but I knew I’d look like even more of a crazy woman if I didn't. So I took his hand only long enough for him to help me out of the car and then I tugged it free. I was glad when he didn't talk to me on the ride to my house. It was eerily similar to the night before, but this time there was no banter or small talk. And instead of wishing the ride would never end, all I wanted was out of the car.
Zander didn't need directions to my house. The sun had already started to set, so the house was dark by the time we pulled up to the curb. I reached for the door handle, this time ignoring Zander's request for me to wait. He’d been sweet the night before with wanting to give me that end-of-the-date walk up to the door. But we weren't on a date and every second I spent in his company left me feeling more and more like a failure.
"Joli, wait," Zander called as I got out of the car and began hurrying up the walkway that led to the front door. I heard footsteps behind me, so I quickened my pace. But it was the lock on the front door that ended up being my doom because by the time I dug the key out of my purse, Zander had caught up to me.
"Joli—"
"Jolene," I muttered.
There was silence behind me, but I didn't turn around to see Zander's reaction. I knew I was a walking, talking contradiction, but I didn't care. I felt raw and exposed and all I wanted to do was find a quiet place where I could lick my wounds.
Despite my shaking fingers, I managed to get the door unlocked and was in the process of opening it when Zander asked, "It looks like your babysitter hasn't turned any lights on yet. Do you want me to come in and look around?"
His kind offer in the face of my dismissive attitude just made me feel lower. "My son is with his father for a few days. Thank you, it's fine. I'm fine."
Zander’s fingers closed over mine where they were resting on the doorknob. I felt his big body pressed against my back and I closed my eyes as his heat transferred to me. I began to feel that painfully sweet warmth shimmer along my nerve endings. All I had to do to escape him was open the door and step forward into the house, but I couldn't move.
"If you’re fine, then why are you so intent on getting away from me?" Zander asked. Then he huskily added, "Joli."
"I'm not," I insisted. "I just have a lot of things to do around the house."
"You're upset."
"No, I'm—"
"Practically in tears," Zander growled as he suddenly turned me around. His touch was firm but gentle as he held me in place. "Tell me what I did. Tell me what I did that hurt you." His hand came up to cup my cheek and his thumb brushed gently over the bruise there.
"It's… It's the car," I blurted. "I'm just upset about my car."
He studied me for the longest moment, and it was all I could do to hold his gaze and not drop my eyes. Jackson had always said I wasn't much of a liar, but I knew if I wanted Zander out of there, I needed to convince him that he and I were fine.
"I can fix the car, Joli. If Pete doesn't have a starter, I might be able to find one from a scrapped car that’s still good and won't cost much. Or I can talk to Pete about getting you one at cost and I'll install it for free. There's some other things I can check on your car to make sure you don't have any problems going forward—"
I had no clue what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was because he seemed so truly worried about upsetting me or maybe I just couldn't stomach lying to him any longer. Either way, I ended up doing the one thing I’d promised myself I wouldn't do.
I told him the truth.
Chapter 5
Zander
"I didn't forget to give you your jacket back last night. I kept it on purpose so I’d have a reason to see you again."
Jolene's words stunned me into silence for a moment, which gave her enough time to pull free of me and step into the house. I instinctively put my foot between the door and the frame as she began to close it. My head was spinning with the idea that she'd wanted to see me again.
After leaving her the night before, I'd had to go back to the garage to lock up. By the time I'd gotten back to my motel room, my thoughts had been so consumed with Joli that I hadn't even made it to the shower before I'd pulled my hard dick out of my jeans and rubbed one out. The orgasm had wrung me out in the best possible way, but the imagined sounds of Jolene's moans and the image of her wrapped around me as I’d thrust into her had made my cock thick and full by the time I'd gotten the shower going and the water warm enough.
I'd taken my time with the next fantasy, torturing both her and myself in the process. Jolene's wet body had fit mine perfectly as I'd taken her from behind against the shower wall. Every moment of the dream-fuck had felt so damn real. Up until the point where I'd looked down expecting to see my dick covered in her sweet, hot juices, anyway. Instead, I'd had to watch my release mix with the shower water as it had slipped down the drain. I'd managed to make it to my bed before passing out, but by morning, I'd woken up needing her again and I'd let my mind imagine what it would be like to fuck her hard and fast until she was screaming my name, begging me to let her come.
Fantasies of her were safe. Whatever was happening right now wasn't. She had that white knight syndrome or whatever, that was all. I just needed to explain that to her. And I needed to tell her that I wasn't the kind of guy who stuck around. I needed to tell her those things and then turn and walk away.
But I couldn't command my body to move, at least not backward. Instead, I pushed into the house, forcing Jolene to step back as the door swung closed behind me. I flipped on the light switch near the door so I could see her better. Her eyes were wide and her breath was coming in heavy pants, causing her generous breasts to lift up and down. Unlike the night before, she was wearing nothing more than a simple pair of jeans and a pretty, flowing tank top with flowers on it. Her hair was in a neat ponytail and I didn't see even a lick of makeup on her. I hadn't thought it possible that she could be even more beautiful, but I’d gotten that wrong too.
I managed to stop myself from approaching her, but that actually seemed to make her more nervous because she said, "I don't do this kind of thing. I—I have to be… people expect me to be…"
Her hand was on her stomach as she tried to get out whatever she was attempting to say. At first, I thought she was tapping her fingers nervously against her shirt, but then I realized she was actually pressing her fingers into her body. Her hand kept moving in small increments over her abdomen, always pressing in slightly before moving on. When her hand dipped just a little lower, I felt like my dick was going to explode behind my pants. But Jolene was absolutely clueless as to what she was doing. I could see that when I lifted my eyes to meet hers. She was clearly turned on, but she was afraid of it. At her age and after having been married, I didn't even understand how that was possible.
But at the moment, I didn't really care. I began moving forward, keeping my eyes on hers the whole time so I wouldn't miss any signals. She slowly backed up until she hit the wall behind her. "They expect you
to be what, Joli?"
"They expect me to be Jolene," she whispered after a moment's hesitation.
I came to a stop in front of her, placing my hands on either side of the wall near her shoulders. My body was commanding me to take her, but my mind wanted to know that she was right there with me. I was the king of casual sex but for some reason, the idea of this being like all my other encounters with women left me feeling cold. Which was strange in itself, because I couldn't have anything more than casual with her. Eden was a pitstop, one in a long line of many. I'd tried the whole settling down thing a couple of times and all it had done was kick me in the ass each time. I couldn't do it again.
"And you want to be Joli," I offered.
She seemed to hold her breath for a moment and then nodded.
"Why me?" I asked. I chanced a glance downward and saw that her hand had moved up so it was resting just beneath her breast.
"I don't know," she said, sounding truly confused.
It was an honest answer, which I should've been glad for, but it didn't seem like enough.
But before I could say anything, she added in the softest of whispers, "But it's only you, Zander. It's only you."
Those words released the coil of tension inside of me. The relief that this was something only I could give her and that I wasn’t a stand-in for someone else had all my senses firing. But instead of reaching for her, I pinned her gaze with mine and said, "Touch yourself."
Jolene went completely still. "What?" she croaked.
I leaned in so I could nuzzle her neck and then settled my mouth by her ear. "Give your body what it wants, Joli," I urged. She’d clearly thought this whole thing would be a simple matter of me taking control of the encounter. I was in control, but I wasn't going to rush this for anything. If Jolene needed a night where she could be who she truly was, I was going to give her every minute of it that I could. That way when she did have to go back to being the Jolene that everybody else apparently wanted her to be, she had this night, these moments to hold on to, to remember that it had been okay to be someone else, to be herself.
I didn't even have to look at her to know when she did what I said. The second she touched herself, her eyes fluttered shut and her lips parted as she let out a breathy little moan. I used the opportunity to see what part of her body she’d gone for. My cock throbbed with appreciation as I watched Jolene's fingers rub over one of her nipples. The bud hardened considerably, enough that I could see the outline of it pressing against her bra and shirt.
"That's it, sweetheart," I praised as she rubbed herself more firmly. "What else, Joli? What else does your body tell you it needs?"
Her free hand came up to tease her other nipple. She pressed her shoulders against the wall so her back was arched. The whimpers spilling from her throat were like a drug and I wanted nothing more than to consume them. But I held off and kept my attention on her hands. It was impossible to stay completely separate, so I leaned my head down enough that I could kiss the back of her fingers as she massaged herself. She stilled for a moment, but as soon as she started moving again, I repeated the caress.
The hand I was giving attention to started to move more quickly, more firmly over her flesh, and her entire body began to shift back and forth. As Jolene began to massage her nipple with more force, she also started to separate her fingers more, and I knew what she wanted. I gave her the tiniest of teasing licks between her fingers. It wasn't enough to put any pressure on her nipple like she wanted, but every once in a while, I was able to make contact with the tightening bud.
"Zander!" Jolene cried out desperately. Her hand moved frantically over her own flesh and I could hear the sobs in her throat building. I eased her hand away from her breast and then took her into my mouth. She let out a loud, guttural moan and then threaded her fingers into my hair. As I sucked on her through her clothing, her other hand worked frantically to pleasure her other nipple. Everything I did to her, every lick, every kiss, every suckle, had her begging for more.
I searched out her free hand and moved it between our bodies. I dropped to my knees in front of her but thankfully was still able to reach her breast from the new position. I continued to tease her with my mouth even as I guided her hand to her jeans. There was enough of a gap behind the waistband for her to slip her hand into the pants without unbuttoning them. There was absolutely no hesitation on her part once her hand disappeared into her jeans. I could feel my dick leaking as my mouth worked her over at the same time that her hand sought out that little nub that would send her over the edge.
Jolene dropped her other hand from her breast and put it on my shoulder. I took advantage of the change in position and covered her other breast with my mouth. My own desperation began to ratchet up as her moans deepened and little sobs spilled from deep within her. Sobs of relief…
I used my hands to push her shirt and bra up, not stopping until I had her breasts exposed. I immediately latched onto her nipple again with my mouth and used my hand to pluck at the other nipple. Skin-to-skin contact sent Jolene to a whole other level and she began rubbing her crotch harder and harder. Her hips pressed forward as she tried to fuck her own hand.
"Zander, oh God! Please! Please!"
I knew she was close. I also knew that if I didn't get her off now, I'd come in my own pants and there was no way in hell I wanted that to happen. The first time I came with her, I was damn well going to be buried inside of her.
I removed my mouth from her breasts long enough to tell her, "I've got you, sweetheart," and then I guided my free hand between her legs. I used the heel of my hand to add pressure to hers and began guiding her movements. Fast and slow, up and down, circles… Whatever her body told me, that was what I helped her give herself. I kept my mouth and my other hand on her the whole time and when I wasn't loving on her gorgeous breasts, I told her how beautiful she was, how I couldn't wait to be inside her. She drank down my praise like water and frantically drove herself higher and higher, begging me to come with her.
Jolene let out a guttural cry of relief when that band inside of her snapped and she went flying over the edge. Her body jerked and shook, and I swore I felt the liquid heat of her seep through her own fingers as well as the fabric of her jeans to seek out my touch. Her free hand sifted through my hair and gripped me hard, holding my mouth against her body. Not that there was any need to keep me there… no way in hell was I going anywhere.
The orgasm went on and on and when Jolene's hand seemed to falter from exhaustion, I kept up the pressure so she could ride out every ounce of her release. When it was over, her body slumped and I helped her drop to her knees in front of me. She could barely catch her breath, but when she finally did, something inside of her seemed to burst and she began to cry.
I'd been with a few emotional women who cried after sex, but this was different. She wasn't crying just from the pleasure she'd experienced… there was something else there too. So I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. She leaned into me and pressed her mouth against my neck. Her hot tears slipped over my skin. I pressed my hand to the back of her head. Her ponytail had become loose, so I gently eased the tie out of her hair and then threaded my fingers through the silky locks so I could hold her against me.
"It's okay, Joli. I've got you," I murmured as she continued to cry. It took several minutes for her to quiet in my arms, but even then, she didn't pull away. I expected her to be embarrassed about the outburst and was ready to reassure her that it wasn't a problem for me, but she caught me off guard when she pulled back enough that I could see her tear-stained face.
Her hand came up to cup my cheek and then she shook her head slightly. I was certain it was the kiss of death and she was going to tell me to leave, but to my surprise, she said, "Thank you." Nothing more. No other words. And I knew in my heart it wasn't just a thank-you-for-getting-me-off kind of thing either.
At that moment, I didn't care that my body was still aching with need. All I cared about was the woman practically
straddling my lap. How in the world had she ended up with an ex-husband and then a jackass like Ted? What kind of fools gave up their chance to be with a woman like her?
Jolene continued to caress my cheek for a moment, but then her fingers trailed lower. First over my beard, then along my lower lip. All the need I'd managed to tamp down on came roaring back as she caressed my mouth with her soft finger. Her eyes were on what she was doing, but my eyes were on her. She looked entranced. If I hadn’t known better, I would've guessed it was the first time she'd ever touched a man.
Her eyes stayed on my mouth for a moment, then lifted to meet mine, and I saw that I wasn't the only one whose desire was building again. But there was also a softness in her expression that made it feel like someone was literally squeezing my heart in my chest. I wanted to be buried deep inside of her and I wanted to hear her cries as she came around me, but for the first time, there was something I wanted even more. Something I hadn’t really ever cared about with other women. So this time, I was the one begging for something my body needed.
"Joli," I choked out.
Her eyes softened even more and then her hand was back on my cheek. I'd been with countless women in the past and there'd even been a few times I'd been nervous early on when I'd started having sex, but something about this moment terrified me. Maybe because deep down I knew it would change things. I knew it would mean this thing between us would be more than just a hookup. But none of that had me trying to move away or distract Jolene as she leaned in. If anything, I held perfectly still so I wouldn't scare her off. And when her lips finally met mine, I inwardly sighed in relief at the same time that I made a declaration I had no right to make.
She was mine now.
Chapter 6
Choosing Fate: A Love in Eden Novella Page 4
