“Is she sleeping with him?”
At first, I didn’t answer, but I didn’t want to lie to Devin. He waited for me to reply. Eventually, I nodded.
“Dahlia, you should’ve told me.” His tone was more of concern than anger.
“I couldn’t. If she got into trouble because of me, she wouldn’t forgive me.”
“Yeah, I get it. That was a heavy burden to place on you to keep her secret.”
“Don’t worry, though—she said they’re using condoms. But I guess that doesn’t make it better.”
“Not really,” he said in a sarcastic, almost joking manner I hadn’t heard him use before. “So, take me to what happened the other night.”
“Okay… Over the past week or so Blake’s been saying and doing things that have made me really uncomfortable, during family group and outside of it.”
“Like what?” Devin asked, sounding more anxious. “Dahlia, tell me the things he’s done.”
“Like, for example, he paired himself with me for a discussion so we were one on one. And he didn’t discuss the topic but asked me about my sexual history. I didn’t answer and asked him to stop.”
Devin swallowed loudly, and I saw his expression harden. “Did he?”
“Not really. He made me stay after group and confronted me. I didn’t like it.”
“I wish you’d told me. I would’ve put a stop to it.”
“Lauren is my best friend, and she’d be very upset if I told on them.”
“Your friend isn’t using good judgment right now. She’s probably in over her head with Blake. He’s not a good guy for her.”
“I know.”
“So… What happened in the cabin?” His eyes looked worried for me.
“Blake came inside the cabin, and I tried to leave, but he shut the door. Then he blocked it so I couldn’t get out. He turned off the lights and offered to kiss me.”
“Did he—did you kiss him?” Devin barely spoke above a whisper.
I shook my head. “No. Lauren opened the door right then. And you know the rest. He made up a story so it sounded like I was the one pursuing him. It was a lie.”
Devin removed his hand from my shoulder and turned onto his back. He ran his hand through his hair in exasperation. When he turned back to face me, he looked me straight in the eye. “I’m so sorry. I have issues with Blake that go back to last summer, and I didn’t handle the other night correctly.”
“What is it with you and him?”
He shook his head and sighed again. “Not tonight. I’ll tell you another time because it’s a long story. Are you okay now? Do you need me to talk to Blake?”
“No, don’t. He’s left me alone since the other night. Lauren is sort of speaking to me again. I’m not sure if she believed my story. Who’d believe Blake pursued me when he had her?”
“Me.” He took hold of my hand and caressed it. “We don’t have much time left here, but can I make up the past couple of days to you by just holding you?” He smiled warmly at me.
“Yes,” I replied, nestling against his shoulder.
His hand moved through my hair while I listened to the rain hit the cabin roof. Involuntarily, I shivered.
“Are you cold?”
“A little,” I whispered.
Devin shifted around so I was snuggled directly against him with his arms around me to keep me warm.
“I love your hair,” he whispered back. Devin’s fingers continued playing with it. He didn’t attempt to kiss me again, but I was content for the moment as he held me to him.
After maybe another minute passed, I said under my breath, “I love you.”
Then before he could object, I rolled on top of him and brought my lips to his neck. He wrapped his arms around my back and held me. Impulsively, I broke from his embrace to sit up on him, watching his eyes while they stared back at me. I unfastened the two buttons holding the shirt together and pulled it open, exposing myself to him. Then I moved my hips slowly and deliberately against his pelvis. His breathing became shallow and faster, probably from being stunned by my aggressiveness.
He reacted quickly by sitting up and taking hold of me, flipping me onto my back, and covering me with the entire length of his body. The evidence of how worked up he was came from the hard kiss I received as he pushed his hips into me. My legs wrapped around his hips and squeezed. He cupped my face and held my cheeks with his thumbs, then began using his tongue, but caught himself. Slightly startling me, Devin abruptly got off me, then left the bed. His hands tore through his hair.
He turned back to look me over. I made no attempt to cover my nakedness. But then he turned away from me.
“Please, Dahlia, cover up.”
In a daze, I sat up, embarrassed, and buttoned up the shirt all the way. I’d stupidly ruined everything.
Devin kept his back toward me while he spoke. “I want to look at you, and I’d love to do more than kiss you.”
“But you can’t. I know.”
He came back over and sat on the edge of the bed next to me and put his hand on my leg. “No, I can’t,” he said. He waited until I looked at him before speaking again. He smiled. “You do have a nice body. And I wanted to touch it all over.”
My heart fluttered. “Really?”
Devin nodded at me and licked his lips. “Yeah. But don’t show me again because it’s hard enough to show self-control around you.”
“Maybe I don’t want you to,” I said as seductively as I could.
“I know. That’s why I have to.” He stood up and pulled me up by my hand, then hugged me again.
“What if I were already eighteen?”
Devin held me away from him and took my face between his hands to look me in the eye. “Then your clothes would still be off.”
Chapter Nineteen
Monday – Week Seven
After the afternoon of Devin’s kiss, we had to resort to stealing glances at one another, our expressions hiding nothing of how we felt about each other. If everything had become more obvious to me, then I was pretty sure the counselors had to be noticing as well. Every chance I was given, I hugged Devin and not discreetly. And he always whispered something to reassure me he liked me, too.
We’d had our second round of the volleyball tournament three days earlier, on Friday, and won again. The team had tried to keep me out of the game since I hadn’t been to practices, but Devin stood up for me and made sure I was able to play. Finals were scheduled for Friday afternoon of this week. It turned out we were playing Blake’s team. I had a feeling Devin wanted the chance to beat him (up).
Right after lunch, Devin walked alongside me out of the dining hall. We didn’t speak but had slight smiles on our faces. His elbow nudged me, so I nudged him back before impulsively locking my arm under his. He didn’t try to pull away and allowed me to rest my head lightly against his shoulder. We headed up the hill to our cabins to get changed for the afternoon activities. He had to lifeguard for a bit, then go to volleyball practice. I’d at least get to be around him every afternoon this week, and that gave me something to look forward to.
“Are you coming to the lake today?” he asked while glancing at my face.
“Maybe,” I said with a smile.
He laughed because he knew I would.
We reached the fork in the path where we had to part ways to our individual cabins. Devin stopped walking, so I turned to face him.
He pulled me into a hug. “I have the same secret as you.”
“What secret?”
“I’m falling for you.” He was barely audible, but I heard him. He let go and smiled at me again. “See you at the lake.” Then he started the walk to his cabin.
Smiling ear to ear, I turned to head up the other path to mine. That’s when I saw Marissa standing maybe fifty feet away, watching me. How much did you see? All I could do was pretend I hadn’t seen her as my heart rate increased to the point of pain.
***
While Devin was sitting in the lifeguar
d chair, I remained on a lounger and tanned a little. When it got to be too hot, I took a dip in the water. I floated on my back out to the middle of the lake and closed my eyes to daydream about our kiss. I’d been this helpless mess he’d had to rescue and clean up. His emotions must have gotten the best of him while tending to me.
It was crazy how the summer started. For me, it had just been a way to pass the time and make Lauren happy. I’d really not had any intentions of meeting anyone. Giving my heart to Devin had been a complete surprise. His confession that he was falling for me couldn’t have come at a better time. We’d shared an emotional connection, but I was ready to deepen our relationship with a more physical one.
When I looked for Devin, I saw he was gathering his belongings, and I realized his shift was over. I was prepared to get out of the water. It surprised me when he took his shirt off and dove in to join me. He didn’t emerge right away, so I waited, treading water while I did. Ripples moved across my body, telling me he was near me. This was confirmed when his hand grabbed my wrist and pulled me gently under the water. Instantly, I opened my eyes so I could see him. He quickly pecked my lips before pulling us back up to the surface.
***
During dinner, Devin had sat at the same table as me but a few spaces away. I noticed he didn’t eat much. In fact, he seemed distracted—preoccupied with thoughts. He kept looking off. When I turned to see what had his attention, I noticed Blake was seated beside Lauren. No doubt what I’d told Devin had upset him, and he probably felt the need to keep an eye on them after that. I knew he’d eventually tell me what the issues were between him and Blake, but at this point, I could only guess.
The director gave a couple of announcements before dismissing us from dinner. I’d brought some candy to put into Marissa’s pocket after dinner. “Hope you get fat,” I thought. Officially, I was the worst secret pal in the history of camp then. There was no interest on my part, and she was lucky to get anything at all from me. I was a great one to Aaron. After placing two candy bars into Marissa’s pocket, I checked mine. A folded piece of paper was inside it. Had Devin sneaked a letter to me suggesting we meet?
Once I was outside, I opened the note to read it. It appeared to be another poem from my secret pal: Heat. Red mixed with orange creating the flames. Temptation flows through my veins for the flower called Fire.
After reading the poem one more time, I thought I knew who’d been leaving the poems for me. And I needed to prove it.
The campfire was next, but I decided to skip it. Missing activities seemed to get easier as time went on, and no one seemed to notice or care.
I parked myself by a tree just outside of Devin’s cabin and watched. A few of his campers came out, and the last one turned off the light. I’d brought a flashlight with me so I’d be able to see inside without turning on the cabin’s light.
When the coast was clear, I quietly ran up the steps and made my way inside Devin’s cabin, closing the door behind me. Pulling out the flashlight from my jacket pocket, I switched it on and looked around the room. Instantly, I spotted Devin’s duffel bag. His clothes were piled up on top, so I moved them out of the way.
Carefully, I reached inside his bag. Sure enough, I found the notebook I’d often caught him writing in. It took me a moment to open it as I took in some deep breaths. I was invading his privacy and somehow justifying it. Finally, I convinced myself it was okay and allowed myself to open it.
Lines of poetry were on the pages, like I’d suspected. There were several ones written—seeming incomplete and in a state of trial and error. It was exciting to see the things he thought about and put on paper, but I didn’t have much time to read. The handwriting of his poems matched the ones I’d received and confirmed what I’d been thinking. And then I found the poem he’d written me on the last entry in the notebook. The only difference was my name was written at the top of the page. The reference to fire and a flower, being my name is a flower, had made it all click earlier. I wondered why he’d been so obvious. Then it occurred to me that maybe he wanted me to know the poems were from him.
Carefully, I placed the notebook back where I’d found it and set his clothes back on top. Then, I turned off the flashlight and stood by the door and listened. Silence. Turning the knob slowly, I opened the door, and it creaked. Nobody was outside waiting for me, so I took off as fast as I could down the steps and got myself to the campfire.
During the remainder of the campfire, my full attention was on Devin, who hadn’t noticed I was staring at him. My feelings for him were so strong, and I couldn’t imagine ever hurting him. What possibly could have happened that Marissa would hurt you to the point you felt nothing for her?
***
The next day, when we were in the middle of family group, Blake was spending a little too much time with one of the other girls. It made me wonder if he was sleeping with her, too. Lauren would come unglued if I suggested the possibility, so I felt like there was nothing I could do. She was going to have to figure it out for herself.
Lunch was uneventful as always. But I did notice Blake sat with that same girl from our group instead of Lauren. When I spotted Lauren, she looked very unhappy as she stared at Blake. Shaking my head, I turned away to finish my lunch.
On the way out of the dining hall, I checked my pocket, hoping for another poem. There was a note, which I removed and took with me.
As I walked along the trail heading to my cabin, I couldn’t wait another second to open the note and see what Devin had written to me. I excitedly opened the note. It said: Meet me.
Something seemed off with the note, though. It didn’t look exactly like Devin’s handwriting. But I figured maybe he was disguising it, knowing someone else could look inside my pocket. I convinced myself that had to be it.
Quickly, I changed into a tank top and shorts, then headed to the craft cabin. I’d have to figure out how to sneak in undetected since campers could be making crafts.
It surprised me to see no one sitting outside the craft cabin. Maybe a scheduled activity that I’d missed was going on elsewhere. Oh well. There were other things on my mind to do, and they involved Devin.
After glancing around once more to make sure no one was nearby, I passed through the craft cabin door and locked it behind me. When I turned around, I almost screamed.
“Hi, Dahlia.”
There before me stood Marissa—my worst nightmare. I didn’t respond. Was I in a lot of trouble? How did she know where we met? Had she seen Devin and me go in here? Or had they met here, too?
“I see you got my note. Sit down.” She was seated on the bunk Devin and I had used.
I still said nothing but sat down on the chair by the desk. I considered whether Devin would have any idea she was here with me. It seemed doubtful.
“You’re probably wondering why I’ve asked you to meet me and how I knew where to go.”
She didn’t sound angry, so it seemed like I wasn’t in trouble. Maybe she just wanted to discuss or lecture me about having a crush on a counselor, I thought. For Devin’s sake, I decided I’d say nothing and pretend it was innocent.
“Sort of. Why am I here?”
“I’ve noticed some things that have me concerned. Do you know what I’m talking about?”
“I’m not sure,” I lied.
She would need to fill in the blanks and spell it out for me because she wasn’t getting any information out of me. Devin wasn’t going to lose his job because of me.
“Aren’t you? I’m referring to the interactions between you and Devin.”
I wasn’t sure what all she’d seen and heard. It was very awkward because I didn’t want to say much and get us into trouble. If Devin found out she was doing this, he’d be very upset.
“I’m not following. What interactions are you referring to?” Maybe I shouldn’t have asked that. I didn’t want her to list things I’d have to defend. It felt like my palms were starting to sweat.
She pursed her lips. “I can tell he li
kes you. And it’s very obvious you like him.”
I stared at her while thinking of the right words to respond with. “Well, he’s a counselor and not allowed to get involved with the campers. I know that. I have a crush on him. That’s all—”
Marissa cut me off. “I’m not stupid, Dahlia. I don’t know what all he’s told you about us. But I’m someone who is fully aware of the difference. This isn’t merely a crush. So, unless you want me to get Devin, and we all go to the director to discuss this, then I suggest—”
“No! Please, Marissa, don’t do that. You know Devin needs this job.”
“Yes, I do know that. Tell me what you two have done.”
“Done? Nothing.” Memories of my shirt being off came to my mind. “It’s just been some flirting. That’s all,” I explained, hating myself for betraying Devin.
“Do you really expect me to believe that? I’ve been with him, too. I recognize the looks he gives you.”
“Um.” I hesitated. “I don’t know what looks you think he’s giving me, but I’m telling you we haven’t done anything wrong.”
“Have you slept with him?” Her tone definitely had envy in it.
I began shaking my head. “Of course not.” But I wouldn’t say no if he wanted to.
“Because if I find out that you have…” Marissa shook her head. “Dahlia, you need to stay away from him. And I mean stay away from him. Don’t talk to him or sit by him, and no more flirting. Do you understand?”
For a minute, I didn’t speak. We only had five more days of camp. Being away from Devin even for a meal was hard. How could I promise no further contact to his ex, who he didn’t even like anymore? And who was she to tell me what another counselor could and couldn’t do with me? Now I was getting angry.
“I won’t do that,” I said, risking being thrown out of the camp.
She must have thought she misunderstood me. “What did you say?”
Clearing my throat, I spoke a little louder. “I said no.”
She scoffed. “Do you know what I’m capable of?”
I then raised my voice and said, “You’re one to talk. I wonder what the camp director would think if she knew you took advantage of your position when Devin was a troubled camper. Yeah, he told me.” I stood up and faced her dead on. I wasn’t even sure it was really me talking.
Edge of Eighteen: A Slow Burn Summer Camp Love Story Page 20
