“I see no point in it if you’re not in a hurry or trying to escape a knife-wielding madman.”
“Or a herd of zombies,” Paige said, referencing one of her favorite genres of fiction.
“I’m pretty sure I could walk fast enough to outpace a herd of zombies.”
“Not fast ones.”
Anna rolled her eyes. “If there are fast zombies, I’m done for anyway.”
“You and me, both,” Jay said as he extended his fist toward Anna for a fist bump, a motion they’d fallen into every time she’d reached a new goal.
“When you both fall to the horde, I’m going to take all your usable stuff so I can live a long, long life,” Paige said.
“This has to be one of the weirdest conversations I’ve ever walked in on.”
Anna’s heart beat a little faster at the sound of Roman’s voice. The sight of him threatened to send her heart into overdrive. And then she remembered how rude she’d been to him the last time he’d come by. Not deliberately rude, but she wasn’t particularly friendly either. She’d been in a bad headspace. The same problems were still hers to solve, but she’d also given herself a good scolding after he’d left.
“Somehow I suspect you’ve heard weirder,” Paige said.
“If I had, I couldn’t tell you.”
“Well, you’re no fun.”
Roman laughed, and Anna found herself wishing she was the one who’d made him laugh. But that really wasn’t her thing, was it? She liked to think she was kind, for the most part, friendly, and she was really good at recommending books or helping someone with research—neither of which was likely to make Roman laugh. She often wished she had Paige’s easy way with people, the ability to say something witty on the spur of the moment.
“So, how’s the patient doing?” Roman asked as he finally turned her way.
“Good.” Seriously, all she could manage was a single-word answer?
“Better than good,” Jay said, saving her from feeling like an idiot. “In fact, I’m thinking about hiring Anna to crack the whip around here with people who don’t want to do their rehab. She’s the poster child for doing what she’s supposed to.”
Wasn’t that the truth? When she happened to hear classmates share stories of fun and edgy antics they’d been a part of during high school, she never had anything to contribute. She’d been the ultimate good student, a book-loving nerd who’d seemed destined for precisely the career she currently had. There had been no skipping school, no sneaking into the movie theater without paying, no dates to school dances. In fact, she’d skipped most of them to avoid the horror of being a wallflower and to save the price of admission for college. When she wasn’t studying or reading or tutoring—also for college money—her grandmother had plenty of chores for her to do.
She supposed some part of her had lived in fear of doing something that would lead to her grandmother abandoning her, too.
The truth was most people would think her life up to this point was a bit dull and unremarkable. The most exciting thing about her was the fact she’d spent a week in a coma. How depressing was that? She experienced the sudden urge to use this second chance she’d been given to inject some excitement into her life, but she wasn’t sure how to even take the first step.
But she had to admit she wouldn’t mind if that first step was toward Roman McQueen.
“Well, let’s see this miraculous progress,” Roman said as he crossed the room.
When faced with taking an actual step, however, she wondered how she was supposed to walk without wobbling with him so close, just on the other side of what she’d jokingly called a gymnast’s parallel bars earlier. Jay had responded by telling her that if she could use them to do a parallel bar routine, he’d sign off on her going home today. For a few seconds, she’d been tempted to give it a try despite the fact that she was not in the least bit athletic and would likely end up flat on her ass. Or her face.
But she did need to get out of here as fast as she could, so despite being worn out she marshaled her strength and walked once more the length of the bars, not once having to hold on to them or correct her balance. And because she’d been doing leg exercises in her room when no one was looking, her legs didn’t even shake when she spun at the end of the bars to face Roman.
“Impressive,” he said. “But you’re just trying to make me run out of star stickers.”
This time, she was the one to laugh. And it felt so much better than the sour self-pity she’d been wallowing in the last time she’d seen him.
“Well, time to get you back to your room,” Jay said.
“I can help her if she needs it,” Roman said, sending her pulse into overdrive again. Afraid he would somehow be able to see that fact in her eyes, she shifted her attention to her best friend.
That was a mistake.
Paige lifted her eyebrows and pressed her lips together to prevent a huge, mischievous grin. Anna had seen that exact expression on her friend’s face every time she’d witnessed something at the library that had made her want to laugh at an inappropriate time. Paige glanced toward Roman, then back at Anna.
“Well, I need to hit the road,” Paige said.
“I thought you were staying to watch a movie with me.”
Paige actually feigned a yawn. It wasn’t even dark outside. What was she up to? Anna was afraid she knew and she gave her friend a look that promised retribution just as soon as she was able to dole it out. Paige just grinned and headed for the exit, blowing her a kiss before stepping through the door.
“I guess my work here is done. Thanks for the assist,” Jay said as he followed in Paige’s tracks.
Was she imagining it or was there a hint of mischief in her physical therapist’s expression, too? Everyone had lost their minds!
“I sure can clear out a room,” Roman said.
Please don’t let him figure out why.
“That probably has more to do with me. I think they’re both tired of my face by now.”
Roman leaned his forearms against one of the bars. “Well, guess it’s lucky I’m here now to give them a break.”
Anna had no idea how to interpret his words. At face value or did they have some deeper meaning?
She mentally smacked herself upside the head. There was nothing remotely romantic going on here, and she should be thankful for that. If she decided to come out of her shell enough to date, common sense told her she should find someone more like her—similar personality, similar background, similar attractiveness level, similar social strata. Roman McQueen fit none of those criteria.
But then Roman offered his arm as if he were some dashing hero about to escort her into a glittering ball like the one his family hosted at the resort each Christmas. She’d seen pictures in the Grapevine, what passed for a local newspaper in Logan Springs but was really just a front-and-back newsletter/gossip column. Ladies in beautiful dresses, men in tuxes. It’s how she’d imagined prom, another dance she’d skipped. Being an expensive wallflower hadn’t made a lot of sense to someone saving up to go to college to improve her lot in life.
She thought about ignoring his offered assistance, but then wondered if doing so would make him wonder why. And she didn’t need him examining her reasoning too closely. So she placed her hand gently in the crook of his arm and allowed him to escort her not to a fancy ball but rather her small room. Room twelve was a step up from the hospital, but that wasn’t saying much. It was still a medical facility and thus still looked like one. Her house wasn’t fancy, but she’d never missed it so much in her life.
Even more than she needed to stop the increasing medical bills, she needed her own bed, familiar surroundings, privacy, and to not worry about how she might react every time Roman walked in the door.
“You really are progressing at an impressive rate,” Roman said as they headed down the corridor. “How has your head been feeling? Any more headaches?”
“No. I’m okay. Ready to go home.”
“I can tell.”
“I doubt that’s uncommon.”
“You’re right about that.” He allowed her to go in front of him as they reached her room. “From what I’ve seen, unless you have a setback you should be released soon—if you have someone to help you at home for a while.”
He had to know she lived alone since her grandmother had gone to live at the nursing facility, but she wasn’t about to say anything that would prolong her stay here.
“I’m sure Paige will help me if I need it.”
“But Paige can’t be there all the time.”
She climbed into her bed and sighed. “I don’t need a babysitter. You said yourself I’m doing better than you expected. No more headaches, no dizziness, no nausea.”
At least not enough that she was willing to mention them.
“All that is good, but here you have help if you need it. You are monitored. And you’re just down the street from the hospital if something goes wrong. None of that is true when you go home.”
“I’m aware. But I also know my own body. Rest assured I don’t want to do anything to risk my health. But the reality is that the sooner I am able to get home and enjoy an uninterrupted night of sleep, the better. I may dream about beeping monitors and vitals checks in the middle of the night for years to come.”
The way he looked at her made her wonder if he suspected there was more to her desire to go home. Of course there was, and her attraction to him was only part of it. But she wasn’t going to blurt out that she couldn’t stop thinking about how much more she’d owe with each passing hour she stayed in full-time care. She wasn’t embarrassed by her life, but that didn’t mean she wanted to talk economic stress with a guy who had access to more money in this moment than she likely would in her entire life. When he’d been hospitalized, he hadn’t had to worry about how his parents would pay the bills or if they’d be in debt for decades after he was released. She didn’t blame him or even resent him for their different experiences, but they were different.
Instead of leaving now that he’d delivered her to her room, Roman sank into the chair next to the wall. “So, what are we watching?”
“You’re staying?”
“I heard there was a movie viewing in the offing.”
“I can think of a lot more enjoyable places to watch a movie.”
“Are you kidding? Here I don’t have to pay, don’t have to deal with people talking and have someone to watch with.”
“How do you know I don’t talk during movies?”
“Well, if you do, there’s a pillow handy to smother you.”
She snorted at his unexpected response. “Isn’t that against the Hippocratic Oath?”
“Minor detail.”
She rolled her eyes and picked up the remote. Since it didn’t seem as if he was going to leave, best to get a distraction up on the screen as soon as possible. She flipped past sports, reality shows and news even more depressing than her current situation until she found a movie. Unfortunately, it was The Conjuring.
“I haven’t seen that one,” Roman said.
“And you won’t be seeing it tonight either.”
“Not a fan of horror movies?”
She gave him a “What do you think?” look. “I live alone. I don’t watch anything that might give me nightmares.”
“But you read books with killers in them.”
“Not the same thing. Reading something and seeing the imagery are totally different. So are the horror and mystery genres.”
“Point taken.” He gestured toward the TV. “Proceed.”
She found Arrival just starting. “Have you seen this one?”
“No, but I’ve heard it’s good. So you like sci-fi?”
“If it’s good. And from my understanding, there is a good bit of mystery in this story as well.”
For the first several minutes of the movie, Anna found it hard to concentrate with her thoughts continually drifting to the fact that Roman McQueen was watching a movie with her. And that by kicking up the footrest on the recliner, he was making himself comfortable. Sure, they weren’t at the theater or even on a date, but it felt intimate. Then again maybe that was just because she’d had limited intimacy in her life and she was overthinking things.
But as the movie progressed, she found herself drawn into the story, trying to figure out where it was going, intrigued by the plot and by the occasional comment Roman made. When a big reveal was made toward the end, she looked over at him to see she wasn’t the only one surprised.
“I didn’t see that coming,” he said.
“Me neither. But it was good.”
“Yeah.” He yawned. “I don’t see movies that often. I forget how much I like them.”
Anna clicked off the TV and lowered the head of her bed enough that she could roll onto her side to face him.
“It sounds like you work a lot.”
“I do, but I enjoy it. That’s one thing there’s never a shortage of—sick people who need to see a doctor.”
“What do you do when you’re not at your office or the hospital?”
“I still work at the ranch some, and I volunteer at the free clinic here in town.”
“So why would you spend a Friday night here if you get so little free time?”
He didn’t immediately answer. Honestly, he looked surprised by the question.
“I guess because I live alone, too, and sometimes it’s just nice to share an experience with someone else that has nothing to do with work.”
“But this does have to do with work, in a way. It’s a medical facility and I’m a patient here.”
“Yes, but this is more like friends hanging out.”
Friends. She could handle that, couldn’t she? A little voice told her that wouldn’t be as easy as it should be because she’d allowed herself, however briefly, to imagine him as more. But she couldn’t sit here and tell him she didn’t want to be friends with him because that wasn’t true either. Realistically, once she was back home, how often would she see him even if she decided she’d like to try? He’d just told her he had very little free time, and only part of that would be spent in Logan Springs. Before waking up in the hospital, she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him. She wasn’t sure if that was because of her lost memories or because she didn’t see him very often.
She realized she’d let too much time elapse without responding. Should she respond now or just give a nod and move on to some other topic of conversation, one that currently escaped her?
“Yeah,” she said, feeling so awkward she wanted to literally disappear. Just go poof and cease to exist or at least be transported to the other side of the world, preferably the middle of the Australian Outback where there was no one around to witness her complete lack of interpersonal skills with any remotely good-looking guy.
“Good,” Roman said. “Want to watch something else?”
“Sure.” Anything was better than her desperate search for something else to say.
The choices were more limited this time, but they settled on Leap Year. It was one of her favorites, but Roman hadn’t seen it. She didn’t know if a romantic movie was a good choice on her part, but the other option was one of those horrible Saw movies. That network evidently thought it was October or something.
It ended up not mattering because about half an hour in, during a quiet moment in the movie, she heard light snoring and glanced over at Roman to find he’d fallen asleep. For a second she considered waking him so he could go home, but she stopped herself. The man worked a lot and needed his rest probably more than she did. And though it wasn’t a great idea on her part, she couldn’t resist the opportunity to watch Roman without him looking back, with no witnesses.
Damn, he was a handsome man. He’d always been good-looking. She remembered having a crush on him in high school. Honestly, she’d crushed on all the McQueen brothers at some point just like every other girl at Logan Springs High School.
In the safety of this moment, she allowed h
erself to do something she’d never done before—let her gaze wander. It moved from the top of his head, down over his nose, pausing at his lips to wonder what it might be like to have them press against hers, then examining his arms—ones that took care of patients but could also handle the physicality and strength required of ranch work. She imagined him astride a horse, galloping full out across the valley, the snow-capped mountains as a backdrop.
Though lately she’d only seen him dressed in pressed shirts and slacks, she’d seen him attired more like his brothers on occasion. Jeans, boots, western button-down shirt and cowboy hat—the sexiest thing on two legs in or anywhere near Logan Springs.
As he slept, she watched the rise and fall of his chest, wondering what it would feel like to be curled up next to him, her head cradled in the crook of his shoulder, her ear pressed against his chest so that she could hear his heartbeat.
She sighed. Why was she doing this to herself when nothing would likely come of it? She didn’t totally buy into her grandmother’s class-system type of thinking, but she was also a realist. If Roman had never expressed romantic interest in her in all the years they’d known each other, why would now be any different? Sure, maybe they knew each other a bit better now, but he’d only mentioned being friends. She couldn’t pine away for a guy who didn’t see her as more. Doing so had destroyed her mother, turning her into a woman who spent her entire adult life trying to get various men to love her to no avail. Anna wouldn’t be that type of desperate, yearning creature.
But in the fantasy running in Anna’s head, the differences between the lives she and Roman had led so far didn’t matter. His seeming desire to just be friends didn’t matter. In the safety of her own mind, she could imagine them finding more in common than different. She could picture him wrapping her in his strong arms and pulling her close, telling her she was beautiful and kissing her so deeply he would have to hold her even tighter to keep her from falling.
The fantasy playing in her mind brought a smile to her lips as she soaked in the sight of Roman and drifted toward sleep.
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