“Is this where I am to sleep?”
The maid nodded, leaving a small candle on the bedside table.
“There must be a mistake.”
“I wouldn’t know, would I?”
“Will the footmen bring my trunk upstairs later?”
The woman raised an eyebrow. She was right. There simply wasn’t enough space for it.
“Fine. I shall fetch my things for tonight,” I said, trying to stay calm while I removed my coat and left it on one of the cots.
“Don’t make yourself too comfortable. Your friend will be sleeping here, too.”
“My friend?”
“You know, the one who is downstairs undressing your fine lady.”
“You do realise I am a member of the family, don’t you?”
A sly smile appeared on the servant’s face.
“I am only following orders. Sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite; there are bound to be at least a handful in that cot,” she said with a smirk, shutting the creaky door behind her.
My cheeks were burning with indignation. Shaking, I opened the window to let some fresh air in. I would speak to Julia in the morning to clear up the misunderstanding. First, I had to find my things. I went back downstairs, but my trunk was not in the foyer, so stepped down into the basement, which was dark and damp, with a jumble of sounds and smells veering for attention, even at that late an hour.
I walked past the steam-filled kitchen, where a cook and two maids were busy stuffing four chickens with sausage and sage, and the scullery, piled with filthy pots and pans left to soak overnight. At the end of the passage, by the back door, I finally found my trunk. In the poor light of my small candle I managed to locate some clothes, a few personal items, my beloved drawing tools and my shawl, which I used to create a neat bundle with which to carry my things. By the time I was back in my room, my eyes were closing. I slipped into my nightdress, and was soon asleep, so deeply so that I did not hear Murphy arrive when she finished with her duties for the day.
Chapter 3
I hardly slept in the little attic room. I was no longer used to such cramped conditions, and found the lack of fresh air and the unbearable heat unpleasant in the extreme. Moreover, Murphy’s snoring, which began once she stumbled into bed well past midnight and did not stop until she was up again at dawn, made any rest impossible. I must speak to Julia at once. There surely had been a confusion of some sort.
On the breakfast room table at Berkeley Square stood a Dutch vase filled with delicate pink posies and white forget-me-nots arranged with exquisite taste. The flowers were so beautiful that the minute I saw them I longed for chalkboard and paper. However, their serenity did not reflect the general atmosphere in the room, for I immediately sensed tension in the air.
Sir Thomas was eating his bread and eggs in sullen silence. Across from him, my cousin Julia was doing the same. Julia and I had met at Fanny and Edmund’s wedding, so I recognised her at once. She, however, only acknowledged me with a rigid smile.
“You must be Fanny’s sister. Has the footman not shown you the way to the kitchen?”
“Her name is Susan,” said Sir Thomas, his voice as cold as ice. “She is your cousin and is treated as such at Mansfield Park. I expect that Mr Yates will be accepting of this arrangement under his roof.”
“Oh.” Julia gave me an unreadable look. “I suppose it makes sense. Life in Mansfield Park must be rather dull these days. Edmund and Fanny will be very busy with the parish and their little boy, and, of course, poor Aunt Norris is not there to keep Mamma company.”
Sir Thomas’ shoulders stiffened, and I held my breath. Mrs Norris was Lady Bertram and my mother’s eldest sister, as well as the sole companion of my disgraced cousin Maria, Sir Thomas’ eldest daughter. Maria had brought shame to her family with her adulterous behaviour and scandalous divorce and had been banned from all polite society. She was now living in a remote county in the north of England with the sole company of our aunt.
I had never met Maria, for her downfall took place before I arrived in Mansfield Park. The traces of her existence were everywhere in the big house, from the neat “M”s written in the nursery room books to the watercolours in the parlour, but she remained a ghostly presence, never to be spoken of. However, it appeared that the rules at Berkeley Square were different than under my uncle’s roof. Pushing what remained of a fried egg around her plate, Julia spoke again on the subject.
“This reminds me, Papa, I received a letter from Aunt Norris a few weeks ago. She assures me that the new cottage that Shillington found them is much more comfortable than the old one, if rather isolated.”
Sir Thomas gave his daughter a warning stare, but Julia ignored it.
“Apparently, they are a good ten miles away from the nearest hamlet, and their closest neighbour is a reclusive widower who lives alone in a crumbling Elizabethan mansion. Maria will be frightfully bored.”
Ignoring his daughter, my uncle spoke to me.
“Susan, would you be able to join Lady Bertram in her chamber as soon as you finish?”
“Of course. I hope my aunt had a good night.”
“Better than expected, but I am afraid that the journey exhausted her. She does not think she will come down for breakfast.”
“I would not worry, it sounds very much like Mamma’s usual self,” said Julia, waving her hand, before looking at her father. “Papa, do you know how long you will need to stay with us?”
“We must hear what the doctor’s opinion is before making a decision. I hope that having us stay for a while is not inconvenient for you and your husband.”
“I said no such thing. I am merely trying to plan the coming weeks. We have many social engagements in the spring, you know.”
“I see. Engagements like tonight’s.”
“Oh, Papa, I understand you are upset, and would perhaps prefer a more sedate evening, but we cannot possibly cancel tonight’s soirée. It is a very important event for Mr Yates.”
“I hope that your busy calendar will not prevent you from fulfilling your filial duties,” said Sir Thomas, lowering his voice. “Your mother needs you.”
“Maria could help. She has nothing else to do,” mumbled Julia.
“What did you say?”
Sir Thomas’ features had clouded like a dark November day. I shuddered inwardly.
“Oh, Papa, there is no need to behave as if she did not exist. She has suffered enough.”
“All her suffering, she has brought upon herself,” said Sir Thomas in a hoarse voice.
“If you say so, Papa. Now, if you will excuse me, I must talk to Cook about tonight.”
Julia stood up from the table, and her father placed his hands on hers.
“Your mother is eager to see you. Do go to her this minute. And please do not mention your sister,” he added in a whisper.
Julia nodded and left the room without glancing back. I berated myself for not bringing up my accommodation arrangements with my cousin, but perhaps it was more prudent to speak to her privately on the matter.
Sir Thomas and I ate in silence, for my uncle’s demeanour did not appear to welcome any conversation. Afterwards, I went upstairs to see my aunt. The door to Lady Bertram’s bedchamber was ajar, but before I could knock it, I heard Julia’s voice coming loud and clear through the gap in the doorway.
“I know Papa is not too pleased but you must understand, Mamma. I cannot possibly postpone dear Mr Yates’ little gathering. Organising an event like this in London takes a great deal of time and effort.”
My aunt mumbled something, but I couldn’t quite catch her words. In contrast, Julia’s response was perfectly intelligible.
“Yes, it is a very important night for Mr Yates. He has high aspirations in the party. And Papa will know plenty of people. Mr Yates has invited an ancient Tory, an old friend of his father’s, and I believe that a few of the younger gentlemen are also members of Papa’s club. Oh, but look at the time! I must dash. Will you be fine w
ith just your new maid? Whatever happened to Chapman?”
Again, Lady Bertram said something that was indistinguishable to me.
“Of course! Sally, is it? Oh, Susan! Yes, she seems very pleasant. I am sure you will be just fine. I will visit again in a bit, but there is still so much to be done.”
Julia appeared in the landing and I froze. I did not want her to think I had been listening in. Thankfully, she appeared to be too preoccupied with her own thoughts to notice.
“Oh, it’s you. My mother is tired; she will rest this morning. Have her breakfast brought up.”
“I will let Murphy know. She takes care of such things,” I replied pointedly. I wanted her to understand that such commands were not for me to take. Then I added, “There is also a delicate matter I wanted to talk to you about. It concerns the sleeping arrangements. I am afraid that I cannot consider my current room satisfactory.”
Julia gave me a strange look. I feared she would accuse me of not deserving the lifestyle of a Bertram, but suddenly, she grabbed my arm and lowered her voice.
“The size of her neck… It is disturbing. Has it been this bad for long?”
Julia’s distress was tangible. I nodded.
“I cannot possibly have her at the dinner table looking like that,” she hissed. “Convince my mother that she must stay in bed tonight. Do it and you shall have the second guest room ready for you this afternoon.”
I had little inclination to sleep in the attic again, but I refused to be a pawn in Julia’s society game, and much less to turn my aunt into one.
“I am afraid that I cannot offer any guarantees in this respect. My aunt shall do as she pleases, and I must second her decision.”
Julia, let go of my arm as if I had been made of burning iron.
“Fine, then.”
Without adding a word, she walked down the stairs.
I had not yet recovered from my encounter with Julia when Murphy stepped into the landing. She must have been waiting in the corridor.
“Is she gone?” she asked with a tinge of fear in her voice.
“Will you fetch Lady Bertram’s breakfast?”
“As long as I don’t have to speak to Mrs Yates again,” grumbled the maid. “She did not much like how I combed Lady Bertram’s hair this morning.”
“Do not worry, I shall fix it. Now, go!”
Murphy scurried down the stairs and I entered the bedchamber. The room was comfortably furnished, with large windows overlooking the grand and orderly Berkeley Square. My aunt was in bed, stroking the soft furry head of her pet pug.
“The London air is so much thicker than I remembered,” said Lady Bertram. “It is so warm and humid, it is almost unpleasant.”
I smiled inwardly. If Lady Bertram knew the particulars of my accommodation, she would surely faint. I did my best to distract her from her gloomy thoughts.
“Think of how pretty your hair will turn without the need for curling papers, Aunt. And what a wonderful view of the square! It looks like just the kind of place where one goes to see and be seen. I am sure there will be quite a few ladies out walking this morning to reward our patience with a few glimpses of the latest London fashions. We can also head outside later.”
“I do not know, Susan. Perhaps it is best if I stay here and rest. Julia promised she would be back soon.”
“In that case, I shall send the footman to buy the latest issue of La Belle Assemblée.”
My aunt looked at me with genuine affection.
“Oh, Susan, you are always ever so eager to please and to raise my spirits. What would I do without you?”
And what would I do without you, I wondered.
In spite of her promises, Julia did not return, but if my aunt was disappointed, she never admitted to it. After a morning of needlework and a light lunch, and once I had made sure my aunt was comfortably supported by a myriad of cushions and bolsters, I sat on the window seat and opened the publication that the footman had procured. The acrid smell of new ink filled my nostrils and my fingers felt the stiff and silky pages filled with enchanting illustrations. I skipped right to the theatre reviews, which I knew Lady Bertram enjoyed, and began to read the first one out loud. Within minutes, my aunt was dozing, and when I judged it safe to stop, left the magazine by my side and looked outside.
Although the clouds had become thicker and there was a greyness on the horizon, the square was busier than in the morning. I spotted a dozen gentlemen in top hats going about their business, their jackets immaculately tailored, their steps brisk, and a swirl of ladies leisurely walking in the gardens, holding their open parasols at the best angle to protect their pale complexions. As I had anticipated, their afternoon dresses followed the latest fashions, and I made a mental note of all of the ribbons, flounces and ruffles, so I could entertain Lady Bertram with my descriptions and compare them to the fashion plates in her magazine.
One couple walking as a part of a small group of friends caught my eye. The woman was wearing a plaid shawl and a matching ribbon-trimmed bonnet in a daring shade of bright pink that clashed with her striking red hair. Her figure was graceful and slender, and her arm was around that of a very tall, dark-haired man. He had an almost aristocratic manner and was uncommonly handsome, but there was something familiar about him which I could not quite place. I observed his profile, trying to identify what it was that had attracted my attention. Suddenly, as if he had noticed my stare, he looked up and our eyes met for an instant.
Embarrassed, I stood up and moved away from the window. At that moment, I heard footsteps going up the stairs and Sir Thomas entered the room. Upon seeing that Lady Bertram was asleep, he immediately signalled for me to join him at the landing. I was still shaking, but doing my best to regain my composure, I walked out of the room, closing the door quietly behind me.
“How has Lady Bertram been?” he asked.
“She has been resting. She ate well and has been asleep since.”
“Did my daughter visit her?”
“My cousin spent some time with her straight after breakfast,” I replied.
“Good.” My uncle seemed satisfied. It was probably best not to mention that Julia’s promised second visit had never come. “Now, there appears to be a dinner here tonight. From Julia’s words I understood it was a small gathering, but judging from the work that the servants are carrying out downstairs, the Yates must be expecting a whole regiment. I would have preferred it if they had chosen to postpone the engagement and have a quiet evening with the family instead. However….”
Sir Thomas’ hand made a vague gesture.
I was beginning to understand that there was little use in asking Julia to do anything. Just like her sister Maria, she had always done as she pleased. Had she not chosen to elope and marry without her father’s consent?
“Papa, is that you?”
Julia was climbing the spiral staircase in a hurry, her cheeks flushing slightly from the exertion. Ignoring me, she smiled in her father’s direction.
“I am so very glad to see you are back from your club. Has Susan told you about Mamma yet?”
“What is it about your mother?” asked my uncle, his brows lifting.
“Susan is of the opinion that Mamma should not join the rest of the guests tonight because she is too fatigued. It is so sweet of her to worry so much about Mamma, is it not?” exclaimed Julia before turning towards me. “Susan, do tell Papa what you were saying about Mamma staying in bed for the rest of the day.”
Julia’s voice was as cold as ice. She was smiling, but her lips were as tense as a bow. She was giving me a second chance. I considered my answer. Lady Bertram had declared herself to be tired and appeared as uninterested in social gatherings as ever, but I could not decide for her, even if it meant another sleepless night.
“It is not for me to say what Lady Bertram should or should not do,” I replied, looking at my uncle. “She may be feeling equal to dining in company. We will need to ask her.”
My cousin’s e
yes narrowed, but before she could say anything, a thin voice spoke behind us.
“I think I shall stay in bed.”
We all turned around. Lady Bertram was standing in the doorway holding her pet dog as if it was a baby. Julia ran to her and put her hands on her mother’s shoulders.
“I am sure Papa will agree that it is the best you can do. Anyone can see that you are unwell. It will be best if you rest tonight.”
“Will you keep me company for a bit?” pleaded Lady Bertram.
“I would love to, Mamma, I really would, but I must go and dress. It is rather late. The guests will be here before we know it.”
Lady Bertram was the face of disappointment. Sir Thomas shook his head but did not speak until after my cousin had left us.
“Susan, I would be much obliged if you could remain with Lady Bertram tonight, in case she is woken up by the noise downstairs. I can sleep in the dressing room.”
“Of course, Sir,” I readily agreed. The thought of spending the night on the cushioned window seat in my aunt’s bedchamber was infinitely more agreeable than returning to the little attic room. “I will ask Murphy to fetch a few blankets.”
“Thank you. You have become quite indispensable, as much as Fanny in her time, if not more,” he said with a gentle smile. I blushed, aware of the rarity of his compliments.
Later, Murphy brought up a tray with some food, which Lady Bertram barely touched. She was out of spirits and in no mood for conversation, so I read her a couple of chapters of a novel we had started in Mansfield Park, and she was soon asleep.
I put the book down. My life with the Bertrams had many blessings. All I had to do was keep my aunt company, fetch her scissors and take her old pug for a short walk every now and then. Was that not an infinitely better proposition than all the others afforded to me in life?
Fanny was right. With my deficient education, so little cultivated when I was a child, and my lack of determination to improve myself by reading, I could never work as a governess. At the same time, following my sister’s advice to find someone to settle with was quite out of the question. I intended to keep the promise I had made to Jamie on the day before he went to sea. I must hope and wait, and in the meantime pray that my aunt may live for many years. I tightened my shawl around my shoulders and sighed.
Miss Price's Decision Page 3
