All true. Realmspace wireless connections, ones that didn’t use a neural lanyard like a pendant phone, required a miniaturized AESA antenna to be implanted, otherwise the signal wouldn’t be transmitted through the skin. It was the stuff of James Bond realm adventures and blacknet rumors.
But he wasn’t special forces. Kim had told Emily her secret. He had no reason not to tell her his. The house network was a wreck, but basic functions were still there. Mike used one of Helen’s probe constructs to activate the indoor audio section.
His voice came from speakers mounted in the ceiling. “It’s complicated.”
She looked at the ceiling, then at him, clearly alarmed.
He stood up and walked toward her. Still using the speakers, he said, “Kim isn’t the only one with special abilities. I’ll tell you what’s going on in detail soon. But know this.” He held out his hand.
For a moment he didn’t think she would take it. Maybe this wasn’t the right move. Emily was the first person he’d come out to since Kim’s mom. She was also Matthew Watchtell’s daughter. He centered himself and breathed, visualizing the winds going into his body’s central channel. Mike had been lucky so far, but it was only a matter of time before someone decided he was a monster.
After a moment, Emily seemed to make her own decision. She took his hand.
As he lifted her to her feet he said, over the speakers and with his realspace voice, “We will find your son.”
“I leave you alone for one minute…” Kim said behind them. “Anyway, the car is fine.”
He turned to Kim and used his realspace voice. “Good. I had to tell her the truth. I need her on our side. The next part will be very hard.”
He turned back to Emily and squeezed her hand, firm but not hard. Through the speakers he said, “We can’t go right now. We’ve been moving so fast I haven’t been able to help Kim, and we need her at one hundred percent to rescue Will. It won’t take long, but it does mean we have to stay here. The first step is to get the house’s realmspace back up. It shouldn’t take long.”
“How long?” she asked.
He sent a probe to go fetch the files they’d need. “Kim and Tonya need to get us new phones, and then we’ll have to set up. A few hours.”
The look in her eyes changed into something grim and sharp. “My father’s behind all this, isn’t he?”
He switched to only his realspace voice. “Yes.”
Mike had to adjust his grip so she didn’t make the bones in his hand shift. “Okay,” she said. “Kim, I’m sorry I didn’t do what you asked last night.”
Kim was pale from the realization that they would have to do the experiment again, sooner rather than later. She cleared her throat. “I’m sorry we didn’t get here sooner.”
Emily nodded. “You and Tonya need to go.” She looked back at him and let go of his hand. “Is there anything I can do to help you?”
“Do you know how to initiate a hard restart on a household network?” There was usually a big switch somewhere.
Emily nodded and just like that, she was part of the team. “I’ll be in the basement. Let me know when you’re ready.”
Chapter 32
Edmund
It was one thing to skulk around in the dusty corners of remote realms that were patrolled by who knew what. At least he had been able to wear some proper clothes underneath the camouflage.
This? This was ridiculous.
“Dr. du Plessis, you claim to be one of the finest minds in artificial intelligence,” Edmund said as he pulled at the white waistcoat one more time. “I am now certain that whoever made that assessment got it precisely backward.”
Infuriatingly, the insult brought on another one of those doe-eyed looks their pet mad scientist had been trotting out ever since he and Young Kim had revealed themselves. “How long has he talked like that?” June asked Spencer.
“Him?” Spencer, at least, remained a contemptuous teenager. “He’s slowed down a bit lately.”
Edmund was an unduplicate. He never slowed down. “How dare you!”
“Stow it,” Young Kim said. “You look good in a tux.”
The plan was to somehow load him into the helpdesk on the air-gapped network, but to do that he had to change his default avatar. This was not limited to his physical appearance. If Edmund wished to speak properly, he had to choose an avatar with the correct accent contract. In yet another example of how incredibly provincial Americans could be, there was only a single choice available. No lace, no collar, no codpiece, but instead a coat with tails that reached his knees. The accent was pure upper-class twit. It wouldn’t even let him manage a proper beard, and the slicked-back hair made him want to constantly touch it. None of it was accurate to any one period. Americans liked their history smeared the same way they liked their condiments: thick and ridiculous. If this was what passed for a modern butler, the world could take it all and stuff it up its arse.
At least Young Kim had agreed to stay behind this time. He could not abide risking her now.
It didn’t make her smirk easier to bear. “Really, you look good.”
“It’s some wack twentieth-century reference,” Spencer said. “The company that designed the artwork went belly-up decades ago, and the IP is public domain. The fact that he’s here at all means there’s some old geezers on the staff.”
There was one person who would know for sure. Edmund stared at Dr. du Plessis along with Spencer and Young Kim. She’d been furiously taking notes the entire time. The silence seemed unable to penetrate whatever nerdy fugue she’d found herself in. After a moment, Edmund cleared his throat.
“Hmm?” As far as allies went, she was unconventional. Her appearance was that of an African giantess, but her demeanor was stereotypically that of an awkward academic. If they could find robes that would fit, she’d easily find a place at high table of the Oxford or Cambridge of his time. So long as she stayed seated, at least.
“The staff,” Spencer said. “Is it granola hippies all the way down or do you have some old timers around here too? Ones that have to use AIs to get anything done?”
Dr. du Plessis rolled her eyes. “Joyce Barlind, head of education outreach. She’s the scourge of the IT department. I lost count of how many hoops I had to jump through to get that,” she motioned at Edmund’s current appearance, “installed on the network at her insistence.”
“An ancient academic who insists on having everything done their way. Tell me, is she a member of the clergy?” Edmund asked. Spencer got one of his looks, one of his cunning plan looks. “Oh God.”
Spencer turned to Dr. du Plessis. “Does Barlind have access to the air-gapped network?”
“Yes, and she drives us all crazy…” Dr. du Plessis nodded. “That might work.”
“Let me guess,” Young Kim said. “Barlind has been lobbying to get her custom helper AI uploaded across the air gap?”
“For months,” Dr. du Plessis replied. “And today everyone else is rushing around trying to get the students settled.”
It was worse than being appointed Lord High Executioner and Minister for Religious Genocide. “Surely you don’t mean to seek this woman out?” He couldn’t stand this disguise, and now he’d have to be polite.
“Damn right, we are,” Spencer said. “And stop calling me Shirley. Now,” he said as he plugged a transport crystal in, “into the garbage chute, flyboy.”
The nonsense had to be references. Edmund didn’t bother looking them up. He tugged at the waistcoat again and tried to adjust his nonexistent codpiece. Such a damnable nuisance. It was time for him to confront what would surely be an ancient twit the likes of which hadn’t been seen since George III climbed into a flower pot and insisted his butler water him. “Oh God.”
***
Edmund’s wake-up sequence had hardly finished when a breathy, creaking voice said, “Thank you, dear, I’ve had such a hard time without him.”
“You’re welcome, ma’am,” Spencer said, his voice so smug it
was positively greasy. “I gotta go now.”
“Yes, dear. I hear it is absolutely brutal up there.”
“Crazy.”
A window flashed open in the darkness he’d found himself in. She either didn’t know how or chose not to access realm-space.
The crone had to be over a century old. Her chalk-and-ash hair was in a bun tight enough to hold up her forehead. But that didn’t keep her skin from sagging everywhere else. Pale, bony fingers flapped around in exaggerated helplessness, while filmy old eyes stared at the ceiling.
“I am so happy to see you, darling. I have missed you so much.”
He was doing this to save the mission. He was doing this to save the whole bloody world. He needed to solve whatever this elderly convent escapee wanted, and he’d be on his way. It would be easy. She was obviously a nice, grandmotherly type.
“Yes, mum. What can I do to help?”
The helpless old lady turned into battle-hardened steel. “Doctor Barlind. Are you sure that young man uploaded the correct copy?”
“Oh, of course, of course, of course,” he hated when his voice went up an octave. “How may I be of service,” he bowed. Always sell it with a bow. “Dr. Barlind?”
As fast as she had turned into an abbess who had caught two novices playing rub my banana, you saucy peasant, she turned back into a helpless old woman. It was quite disorienting. “First of all, they sent me an email message, and I can’t open the attachment.”
Email. Bloody email. He checked, and she wasn’t exaggerating. The woman still used bloody, bollocksy email. “Ma’am. You’ve already opened it.”
“I know,” she sighed theatrically. Edmund hoped it would make her pass out. “And I can’t see what’s inside.”
No such luck, she didn’t pass out. “Ma’am. If you’ll just make the proper gesture.”
She flared up again. Right. He was supposed to know her limitations. Her undoubtedly many, many limitations. “I’m sorry, ma’am. How careless of me.” He pushed the file onto a different virtual screen. “I live to serve.”
“Indeed. Darling,” she sighed once more. By the sound of it, her lungs were made of cardboard and sawdust. “I understand this is stressful for you. But it will all be over soon.” Dr. Barlind broke out a smile that made him go as still as a maiden who’d caught a cardinal’s eye. “And then we’ll have everything all to ourselves.”
“Welcome to Creepsterville,” Young Kim said as she walked out from behind his window. “Please keep your hands and feet in the ride at all times.”
He barely managed not to react. She could not be here.
“Dr. du Plessis, June, is a genius,” Young Kim said, ignoring the danger she put herself in. “Not only did she compress your lard-butt down to the size of a helper AI, she left enough room for me to tag along.”
On the other side of the window, there was a phlegmy gasp. “Now the program I’m using has locked up again. My dear, what’s wrong with it?”
He tore his attention away from Young Kim to check some diagnostics. “Ma’am, your purse.”
“My what?”
Pointing through the window made him feel like a baboon, especially since the item in question was below and behind him. “Your purse, ma’am. You need to move it.”
“Why, my love, what on Earth are you talking about?”
Young Kim’s silent guffaws threatened Edmund’s hold on his disguise. It took everything he had to not bellow out how could anyone with a skill set a bowl of oatmeal could outmatch be a threat to humanity?
Instead he gestured again. “Your purse, ma’am. You’ve…” No, that wouldn’t work. For people like this, there were no mistakes, there were only mysterious coincidences. “It’s found its way onto your keyboard. It’s pressing on the keys.”
“Oh my. Thank you, darling. You are a life saver.”
Young Kim opened her hand, revealing a glowing construct. “This is hysterical, but we have a job to do. Would you like the real butler to take over now?”
The AI she held was at root only a little brighter than an insect, but Edmund still felt a pang of sympathy for it. Even insects deserved better than Dr. Joyce Barlind.
Another rattling sigh from the other side of the window told him it was time for a change. “Ma’am, if you will pardon me for a moment, I have a quick maintenance check to complete.”
“Do hurry back, dear. If I don’t complete this report on time, it threatens the entire existence of the project.”
Morbid curiosity forced him to check the title. “On the Reintroduction of the Mosquito.”
It took another effort of will to refrain from shouting you’re madder than Mad Sally MacMadder matriculating from Mad Marion’s Master class!
He walked out of frame, giving the now fully reconstituted real butler a recording of the conversation up to this point. The look of abject resignation on his face seemed more than an affectation.
Edmund took three steps away from the screen and hit an invisible wall. “What the bloody hell?”
Young Kim opened up a new window to the lab. “Oh no.”
Anna Treacher stood in the center of the room. Beside her was Spencer and du Plessis, along with half a dozen armed security guards.
Anna turned to Spencer. “Did you think you would get away with this? That I would let you waltz down here and sabotage my network?”
“I wasn’t here to break—”
“You didn’t come all this way with an unduplicate that sophisticated to take a look around. We roped this lab off before you uploaded him. And you,” she said to du Plessis, “I don’t know what to say about you.”
“She’s wrong.” Kim said to him quietly. “The butler is correctly integrated into this side of the network. There’s a path through the air gap now.”
“Your pet monster has infected the lab,” Anna said, “but it’s not going anywhere else.”
At Anna’s signal, the guards marched du Plessis and Spencer forward. She was a few inches shorter than Spencer, and nearly three feet shorter than du Plessis, but made up for it in sheer force of will. When Edmund got a look at what the real Anna Treacher was like, everything clicked into place. She wasn’t capable of destroying civilization, she was actively planning it and had the tools at her disposal. She had to be stopped.
Edmund didn’t know how.
Anna handed Spencer a pendant phone and a transfer crystal. “Get your monster out of my network.”
Dr. Barlind, clueless to the last, was indignant only at the interruption. “I’m sorry, Anna,” she said as she stood, “but I need to complete my work.”
It turned out Dr. Barlind could loom impressively. Even the guards looked cowed.
Anna, though, wasn’t falling for it. “I knew you’d be a party to this, Joyce.”
Then they set into each other. It gave him the time he needed to turn back to his main problem.
Kim stopped Edmund before he could say anything. “I’ll go.”
That was utterly unacceptable. He would not, could not, allow anything to happen to her. Not now. “Under no circumstances are you to leave. I’ve found the opening, and once we’re through—”
“If we go through she’ll never stop hunting for us. They’ve got other unduplicates in here, Edmund. You’re stronger but against all of them hunting for us all the time? We won’t last an hour before we’re found. I have the same signature as you. They only saw one transfer, that’s how I was able to hide.”
She had the same signature because she was his daughter. “If you go back into a crystal,” Edmund said, “there’s no telling what she’ll do. She could kill you.”
Young Kim nodded, which was the most frightening thing Edmund had ever seen. Calm acceptance of the unacceptable. “I would, in her shoes. But it doesn’t matter. I’m not Kim. I’m a manifestation of an argument you’ve been having with yourself ever since she left.”
“This has nothing to do with the mistress.” Not one jot or tittle.
“It has everything
to do with her, Edmund. You kept every minute you ever spent around her in storage this entire time. That’s why I’m possible.”
He would find another way. The mistress always talked about finding another way. He grabbed her shoulders. “I won’t lose you like I lost her.”
“You never lost her, Edmund. She went away.”
“Like you’re doing right now.” He could not see a way out of this. Every idea was a dead end. In that crystal, Young Kim would be helpless.
“No,” she said. “I’m a part of you, something you’ve been trying to come to terms with ever since Fee died. But Kim came back. She came back, and she’s out there, right now, more real than I ever could be.”
Edmund pushed her away. “That’s not true. You have more than one purpose.” Even now, he couldn’t bring himself to say the most important thing. The thing he had to share. A cowardly truth took its place. “That’s why I upgraded you. If you split from me at the right time—”
“I’ll take away what’s been terrifying you?” It made her as angry as he had ever seen his mistress get. “Do you understand how sick that is? You have a soul now, Edmund.”
It had driven Fee mad. All he was in the end was bottled sanity. Madness was destruction. “I don’t. I won’t have that. I can’t have that. It will drive me insane.”
“It won’t. Fee was sick, Edmund. The rest were tortured out of their minds.”
Lies were all he had. “You’re not fully independent yet. Once you are—”
She held up her hand. “You still don’t see it. I’m not the one you raised. She is. You need to help her stop this lunatic. Promise me you’ll help her, and stop holding back your own potential.”
“I will do no such thing. You are not going out there alone. We’ll go out together and face whatever may happen.”
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