“If he crosses me,” he says tightly, “I might have to kill him. I don’t know if you can live with that as easily as I would.”
“I won’t have to,” I say. “You won’t kill him. You’ll make that promise to me now, before I call him.”
“If he risks your life with a stupid misplaced hero move, I’ll do what I have to do to protect you.”
“He won’t make a stupid move,” I assure him.
“Are you willing to bet his life on that?”
CHAPTER THREE
Ashley…
Am I willing to bet Smith’s life on how much I trust him? That question lingers in the air between myself and Aaron as I flashback to the past. To a night right after Aaron, Noah then, had disappeared, accused of betraying his country. I’d been devastated, and Smith had been the bodyguard assigned to me by Walker Security—the agency hired by my boss and friend, Cole Brooks. I’d been scared. I’d been heartbroken. Broken. I’d been broken in so many ways. I’d still been wearing the ring that is now in a safe deposit box locked away with my heart, right here in this very city.
***
The Past…
Smith and I enter the downtown Manhattan building, complete with fancy tiled floors, a doorman, and only a few miles from my own apartment. I hug myself. “This is a pretty nice building for a safe house. Much nicer than the one we’ve been at the past few nights.”
“Because it’s my place,” he says, his hand settling on my back, awareness between me and this man that I don’t want to feel. I love Noah. I don’t want him to be who they say he is.
I rotate to face Smith. He’s good looking, not so unlike Noah, actually. Tall with brown hair, muscles, and dreamy eyes that speak of worlds of experience and even pain. But he’s not Noah.
“Smith,” I whisper, confused. “We’re—this can’t—we can’t—”
“We’re friends, Ashley. Just friends. And even that’s more than we should be. I brought you here for a reason. Walker Security operates in a building right across the street. The man you love is lethal. I need backup, and because I have it here, we’ll both sleep a little easier tonight.”
“You’re sure? I feel like this invades your privacy. This is your private space.”
“I’m sure.” He motions to the elevator, and I decide not to argue. I want to be safe, and Smith makes me feel safe. We head into the car, and once we’re there, I think of the history he’s shared with me. Ex-Special Forces, his family who died in a fire when he was a teen, and other little tidbits. I’ve learned these things about him in three days, or did I? I thought I knew Noah. But I knew nothing. I can feel the tears begin to prickle my eyes. I love Noah so damn much, but he wasn’t who I thought he was. I love a fantasy. I love a fictional character. Loved. I can’t love him. It’s all past tense.
The elevator dings, and it’s not long until I’m inside Smith’s loft-style apartment with brick walls, steel beams, and dark hardwoods beneath my feet. It’s a beautiful masculine home, but it’s not my home. I’ll never be able to go to my home again.
“Let me show you where the spare bedroom is,” Smith says, and I follow him down a narrow hallway.
“Bathroom to the right. That’s all yours.” He walks into an open door, and I enter a room that has no windows but manages to be cozy with a large bed, a black headboard, and two cozy chairs in a little reading nook. It’s the no windows that gets me. That’s why I’m here. No one can get to me without going through Smith. He sets my bag he’s holding on the bed. My bag with the few things I own right now inside.
“We’ll be here for at least a week,” Smith says. “We’ll go shopping tomorrow.”
“Shopping? Who pays for that? I’m not employed.”
“Cole is handling this, and the government has a budget for witness protection.”
“I’m not in witness protection officially. I don’t want to be in witness protection. Noah isn’t who they say he is. He’s not. I refuse to believe I’m that wrong about him.”
“I know it’s difficult,” Smith says. “I’ve seen some things, the kind of deception that guts you. It’s like you suffered a death. You have to deal with the loss.”
“I don’t want to deal with the loss. I want him back.”
“The man you knew didn’t exist,” Smith says. “He can’t come back.”
I hug myself and cut my stare, fighting back tears before I look at him. “If he’s innocent, would you help him?”
“Of course. If I had proof that he was innocent. And you should want proof, too.”
“Of course. Right. I just—I love him.”
He closes the space between us and brushes his fingers across my cheek. “And he was a lucky man.” His hand falls away. “If he didn’t know that, he didn’t deserve you.”
I hold up my hand with the giant diamond on it. “No one gives a woman this kind of ring as a cover story.”
“You want me to have it assessed?”
I bristle. “Are you suggesting it’s not real? It’s real.”
“I’m suggesting it’s worth a lot of money—money you might need.”
“Oh. Right.” Sell my ring? No. No. No. I can’t. “I—I’ll think about it.”
“How about pizza? I can order, and we can watch a movie.”
“I think—I need to think.”
He nods. “If you change your mind, I’m in the living room. And the fridge is stocked. Make yourself at home.”
Home.
I’ll never be home again.
***
Present Day…
“Ashley?”
I blink Aaron back into view and me back to the present. “Yes?”
“Do you trust Smith enough to risk his life? Because that’s what you’re risking by involving him.”
“Because you’ll kill him or anyone else?” I challenge.
He narrows his eyes on me. “Are you trying to make me the bad guy, Ashley?” He pulls me to him. “Because that won’t be hard. I’m not a traitor, but I am a killer. I’ve killed. I’ll kill again. That’s who I am.”
“Are you trying to scare me away?”
“If you can be scared, you should be. If you want, I can take you to Smith. I can plant you right there in his arms, and you can let him protect you for the rest of your fucking life. I’m a killer, but I’m also a man who has saved hundreds, if not thousands, of lives. I didn’t want to lie to you. It was my fucking job. I didn’t want to be setup, but I was. I didn’t want to fall in love with you. It was my fucking heart. So, yes, if you want Smith, I’ll take you to him. I’ll take you right now.” He releases me and walks away.
I swallow hard at the magnitude of his anger, and I realize how much his life has been shaken, just like mine. I realize, too, that he’s a hero, a man who has given everything for his country. A man who lost everything, even before the CIA, trying to take down a drug lord. And I think—I think I sent him mixed messages over Smith. I think I’m scared of being hurt and scared in general, and that betrayal I felt inside me back when I met Smith, when I lost Noah, still eats at me and at us.
Aaron faces me, his eyes dark and turbulent, his jaw set as hard as stone. “What’s it going to be? Smith or me?”
Smith or him?
I’m angry and hurt and angry all over again.
I want to punch him.
I want to kiss him.
I think I might just punch him.
I don’t actually know what I’m going to do, but I launch myself at him.
CHAPTER FOUR
Aaron…
The minute Ashley launches herself at me, I step into her, and right when the crazy fireball of a woman that she is throws her fist at me, I catch her wrist. In a quick move, I turn her and press her against the wall, my legs caging hers. “What do you think you’re doing?”
“You’re an asshole,” she declares, her hair wild in her face, her eyes throwing daggers at me.
“I’m quite aware of that fact.”
“Such a damn as
shole.”
“Also aware of that fact. Haven’t we already had this conversation?”
“Well, you can just tolerate the repetition. Maybe it will torture you the way you tortured me by leaving me alone all this time. Leaving me to think you’re some sort of an evil monster.”
“I am an evil monster.”
“A jealous, evil monster,” she snaps back. “I was alone, and you lied to me. I could have fucked Smith ten times over, and you had no say in it.”
“Did you want to fuck him ten times over?”
“I wanted to feel something other than pain. I wanted to make the pain stop. You hurt me, and now you dare to stand here and judge me? You dare to—”
“Yes, I fucking do, because I’m a jealous, evil monster, remember?” And if I stand here another minute with her pressed close to me, I’m going to fuck her while thinking of her fucking some other man. I release her and try to walk away.
She catches my hand and pulls me back to her. “You have no right—”
“I have every right,” I bite out, dragging her to me again. “You’re going to marry me. You’re going to be my wife. You don’t get to fuck anyone else.”
“I didn’t.”
“It damn sure sounds like you thought about it.”
“I did. I thought—”
“Don’t say it again, Ashley. We’ve had this conversation. I know what you thought.”
“Well, you can just hear it again. I need to get this out. I need to get it out now.”
“It was hell knowing someone else told you who I was. It was hell, Ashley.”
“You let that happen.”
“And I’ve lived with what I did to you every fucking day we were apart and hoped like hell you believed in me, in us, enough to know that I would come for you.”
“I wanted to believe you’d come, but—you lied to me. You should have told me.”
“You keep driving that nail in my heart. I know. I fucking know.”
Tears pool in her eyes. “I didn’t want Smith. I wanted a way to forget the man I loved who I thought was gone forever.”
“I would never leave you behind. You should have known that.”
“You can’t possibly understand what it was like to feel lied to and left behind by the one person in your life you trust and love. I was alone. I was so damn alone.”
Pain radiates through her words crashing into me, cutting me in all the ways I’ve felt cut already but magnified by a hundred. “Everything I’ve done since I left was about getting to you, protecting you, freeing you.”
“From you? Is that where this is headed? You save me and protect me by leaving me again? Because if it is—”
“Never. Damn it, woman. No. I’m not leaving you, and you’re not leaving me. We’re ending this and then we’re going to start a new life together anywhere you want.”
“Then stop going hot and cold on me because that is not what I need from you right now. I need a future. I need something to hold onto.”
“Our future is anywhere you want it to be. Our future, Ashley.”
“Like we were? In Houston?”
That question punches me in the gut. My lips thin, and I release her, the sense of losing her already killing me.
“Aaron?”
Aaron.
God, how I loved being me with her, being Noah. I turn to face her. “It can’t be Houston. We have to pick a place that’s far away. That’s the only way I’ll feel like we’re secure. We need to pick new identities. A new place to start over.”
“But you said we were going to end this.”
“And if there’s just one loose string, we’re dead. You’re dead. I can’t allow that to happen.”
“Right. Okay. That makes sense. Where do we go?”
“Italy. France. Ireland. Pick another country. We’ll travel to all of them until you find a place you love.”
“We love, right?” She closes the space between us. “If this is about us, about surviving and being together, why did you walk away from me? Why did you say you’d help me find a place I love, not a place that we love?” Her hands come down on my chest, a warm shock that slides through my body and thickens my cock. I want her. I love her. I need her. I’ve fucked up her life, and there’s no turning back.
My hands come down on her arms, and I pull her to me. “Because the only thing I need is you. Where I live is with you. It’s not a place. It’s not a country. It’s with you, and one day, sooner than later, you’re going to believe that. You’re going to know that again.”
She wraps her arms around me. “Call Smith. He’ll help us. I promise you. He’ll help. We can trust him.” My hands leave her arms, and she tightens her grip around me. “I’m not letting you push me away. We can trust him. He’s outside of your world, and your world betrayed us.”
I consider her idea, really consider it for the first time. I’ve watched Smith. I’ve watched him with her, and I hate the asshole. He wants her. He’s into her, which is a reason to turn on me, but it’s also a reason to protect her. She’s what matters. I want her safe. I want her protected.
“Do you have his phone number?”
“Yes.”
My hands come back down on her arms. “If we do this, we do it exactly my way. Understand?”
“Yes. Of course, but what does that mean exactly?”
“I’ll let you know as soon as I decide.” I release her, and this time, she lets go of me. “If you want to freshen up I grabbed you all your favorite things.”
“My favorite things? Because you know me.”
“Yes, baby, I do. Knowing you was a choice, but it's also one that helps us stay alive. Know everything about everyone around you. The smallest detail could matter in ways you don't expect.”
She studies me a moment and then nods, before turning away. “Ashley,” I say, not wanting her to read me wrong.
She turns and faces me. “Yes?”
“Every time I learned something about you, I wanted more. So damn much more.”
The shadows in her eyes melt away. “Good. Because you seem to be stuck with me.”
“Never. Every moment I'm with you is a choice, the right choice. I'm going to make you believe that.”
“I hope so,” she says, and this time when she turns I let her go. I spend the next few minutes contemplating her safety, when I want to be thinking about winning her trust, but safety has to come first. When she returns, her lips are glossed, her face lightly touched with makeup. She looks fresh and beautiful, a natural beauty, that has always left me hanging on every word she speaks for no reason but she's the one speaking.
“You weren't kidding,” she says. “You even got my makeup color right. When did you have time to do this?”
I meet her at the door. “I used a delivery service. I have a fake name and debit card with that name as well as backup names and debit cards.”
“Oh,” she says. “I see.”
That’s the problem. She does see and there’s nothing I can do to save her from that now. It’s not even in her best interest, that I try. I grab a jacket and toss her the one I bought her.
Once she puts it on and joins me at the door, I pause and turn to her. “Be aware of everything around you, but don’t make it obvious. You have to learn this skill. I’m going to push you to know everything around you. I’m going to question you, train you to be fully aware.”
“Okay. I can do that. I’m pretty observant.”
“No. You’re not. If you were, you would have figured out more about me and us.”
Her expression tightens. “Right.”
I cup her face. “Baby, I have to keep this real with you. I need you safe. I need you alive and with me.”
“I know. I know. I’ll get over the past once we’re in the future.”
Once we’re in the future. Not now. I have no choice but to accept that answer. I open the hotel door and check the exterior hall before glancing at her. “You leave or enter no space without checking it firs
t.”
“Yes. Okay.”
I study her, making sure she understands before I exit to the hallway and then allow her to exit. I lock the door and offer her a key. She shoves it in her pocket, and together, we head down the hallway about to take a risk and let an outsider into our world. A man who Ashley trusts. A man who wants to fuck her, and I’m not sure she really understands that yes, I can live with that. But if he fucks us in the process, he dies.
CHAPTER FIVE
Ashley…
Aaron and I take the subway in so many different directions that I barely know if we’re coming or going. Finally, with our fingers linked together, we walk up the stairs from the tunnel to enter Times Square. “Remember what I’ve been telling you.”
“Be aware of everyone around me at all times. I know.”
“Who’s behind us?”
“Behind us? Are you serious? How do I know who’s behind us?”
“Because you plan it. You move to ensure you know exactly who is directly at your back. You need—”
“To be more aware. I know. I will.”
Aaron pulls me right into the crowd, and holds my hand with such a tight grip that it seems he’s certain someone is going to yank me away at any moment. His energy has me on edge, but it also has me practicing the skills he’s been teaching me, cautiously looking around me, and I hope that’s the point of his grip. He’s keeping me aware. I hope it’s that and not some threat he knows about that I don’t.
We cut right again and walk two blocks before entering a T-Mobile store where he buys a collection of disposable phones.
We leave, and he opens one of the phones. We then walk back to the subway and just before I think we’re going back inside, he pulls me to the side of a walkway near a fast food entrance. “Call Smith. Don’t say your name. The conversation needs to go like this: ask him if he knows who he’s talking to but instruct him not to say your name. When he confirms he knows your name, tell him to meet you at the pizzeria on 88th in exactly one hour. Then hang up.”
“What if he’s protecting someone? He won’t be able to come.”
“He has a team to lean on just like I did in the CIA. He’ll make it work.”
Dirty Rich Secrets: Part Two Page 2
