"What happened?"
"She died."
"Oh." Anne stared at her horse's bobbing head, unsure of what type of comfort she could offer. "Was it...an accident?"
"Complications from a tick bite about a year ago. I should have taken her with me. Or run off to some third world country like she had wanted. Anything but let her stay here. Such an idiot." He glared at his horse's ears as if they were the fault for everything.
They rode in silence for a moment before Anne ventured asking, "What do you plan on doing now?"
He shrugged. "Work with horses."
Hide, was what she thought. He was doing the same thing she did: hide from the world. From the pain. From the regrets. Pour himself into something else and hope that would somehow fill the gaping hole inside. It had taken her eight years to realize she was wasting her life. She didn't want him to do the same.
"Working with horses won't make the pain go away, James. You have to move on. Find a new love. A new passion."
"You don't understand my pain—"
"Yes, I do." She looked away, to the woods surrounding them, to wherever Rick might be. "I understand it far too well."
He didn't say anything and they lapsed into silence again. She fretted that she had been too blunt. But she dearly hoped he wouldn't repeat her mistakes. Wallowing in the past didn't fix anything; a fact she had learned too well.
Chapter 16
By the time they reached the barn again, no one was in sight, the other two horses were already in their stalls. Rick and Louisa must have returned a long time ago and were probably on some romantic walk somewhere, hand in hand. The mental image soured Anne's mood and she had to force a smile when James came to help her off the horse.
James unsaddled the horses and the two wandered out of the barn, looking for the others. Well, James was. Anne, on the other hand, was trying not to spot Rick and Louisa somewhere. However, the strains of a piano filtered through the air and Anne stopped and pressed a hand against her chest, the longing for that instrument washing over her like a sudden waterfall.
"Sounds like a concert is going on," Anne announced, hoping she might be able to join in. But as she took a few more steps toward the farmhouse—the source of the sound—she frowned, recognizing the tune. It was the song Louisa liked to play to show off. Well, at least she now knew where Rick and Louisa were at and she didn't want to be anywhere near those two.
"Yeah, I think you're right," James moved toward the farmhouse.
Anne frantically racked her brain for an excuse not to go.
"I wonder if it's Rick," James continued.
Anne's thought processes ground to a halt. "You've heard Rick play?"
"No, but Harv has. Come on," he waved for Anne to follow him. "Maybe we can get Rick to play for us."
The chance to see Rick play was enough to tempt Anne near the lovebirds and James and Anne entered into what was probably once a parlor in the antique home. The upright piano sat against the wall, with Louisa's fingers flying over its keys. Her eyes were closed and she moved with the rhythm of the song, but Anne knew she did it for show. Louisa played for the love of attention, not of the music.
Harv and the sturdy woman—Star, his wife—sat on the couch together, hands entwined, smiles on their faces as they enjoyed the music. Mary and Charles, however, sat on the opposite couch with bored faces. They'd heard Louisa play this song too often. Rick, on the other hand, sat in a chair directly in front of her, his back to her, but his body tense as if every note touched his heart. She was glad she couldn't see his face. She remembered his mesmerized expression and the way he'd stare whenever she played—she didn't want to know if he looked the same when Louisa played.
The group applauded when Louisa finished and she stood to perform an overdone bow. When she straightened, her eyes fell on Anne. "Oh, Anne is back! Come! You must play so I can sing!"
Anne backed up. She did not want to play in the presence of Rick again. "I'm sure others can play." She shot a pleading glance at Mary but she seemed to have no interest in offering her meager playing to the sacrifice table. Anne turned to Harv and his wife but Harv raised his hands in surrender. "I can't." His wife shook her head as well.
Louisa began to advance and Anne, desperate, announced, "Rick can play."
He jerked and spun around as if she had accused him of spying.
"You play?" Louisa gushed as if that somehow elevated him from perfection to godhood.
He raised his hands as if being attacked, which perfectly described Louisa's advance toward him. "No, I don't play—"
"Come on, Rick!" Harv called, a conspiratory grin on his face. "I've seen you practicing enough times to know that's a lie."
Louisa snagged his hand. "I can't believe you hid this talent from us!"
Rick looked around as if hoping someone would save him, but Anne averted her gaze while the Marleys egged him on.
"Did you have a teacher?" James asked above the din and Anne froze, wondering what Rick would say.
Instead, he sat down at the piano and began to play with a ferocity of a man on trial for murder. It was a difficult song, though, not one for a beginner. Yet, he was doing far better than a beginner. He really had practiced. A lot.
Memories of them sitting together on a piano bench flooded her mind. His smile. His laugh. The way their shoulders would bounce against each other. And the way his hand would tumble over the keys, then slide over onto hers as he leaned in for a kiss...
The ache in her heart wanted to explode. Anne hurried outside before she did anything drastic, like burst into tears in front of everyone. The fresh outside air hit her flushed cheeks and she stood by a column on the porch, breathing in the late afternoon air, and tried to bury all those happy memories.
"Anne?"
She quickly forced a calm smile and turned to find James had followed her out.
"Are you all right? You seem upset."
She waved her hand. "It's nothing."
He frowned, unconvinced.
Not wanting to confess about Rick, she opted for a different explanation. "My mother used to love playing the piano."
His frown softened. "Used to?"
"I lost her when I was fifteen."
"Oh." He leaned against a column. "That's why you're so wise. You do understand loss."
Anne produced a weak smile. She had loved her mother dearly, but the pain of that loss wasn't as fresh as Rick's.
James shuffled his feet. "Does the pain really ever go away?"
She stretched out a hand toward him, wishing she could provide some comfort. "It comes in waves. Sometimes, the waves lessen and you think you're over it. But then, the waves can feel like no time has passed at all."
He clutched his chest. "The pain doesn't come in waves. It's always there, suffocating me. I think of all the things I did wrong. What I should have done. What I shouldn't have done—"
She grabbed his arm. "Don't do that. You can't change the past. All you have is the future. Don't waste it and her memory by beating yourself up all the time. It will only leave you broken and she wouldn't want that. Everyone makes mistakes. Some worse than others. We're not perfect, but," she gave his arm a squeeze, "But we can improve. We can do better next time. And, well, you can help others deal with their stupid mistakes. You can make sure they don't feel alone."
He smiled weakly and covered her hand with his own. "You remind me a lot of my Fanny."
"I do?"
"Yeah. She was really wise, too. Always knew the right thing to say."
Anne wished she had that talent when Rick was in the area. "I just try my best—"
"What's going on here?" Mary asked as she came out of the house.
Anne and James sprang apart.
"I, uh, have horses to see." James shuffled away, leaving her alone with Mary.
"Anne," Mary hissed, her eyes on James. "Don't tell me you like him? He's younger than you!"
"Mary!" Charles called as he came out of the house, saving Ann
e from having to respond to Mary's accusation.
"Ugh, Charles!" Mary threw up her hands in disgust. "I'm not going to suffer through another of Louisa's concerts. I want to leave already."
"Mary, can't you at least pretend to like it here? This place is amazing!"
"It smells of manure! I can't escape it!"
"Well, we're not leaving. I still want to ride a horse!" Charles stalked off toward the barn. Mary glared at Anne as if she could stop Charles but Anne shook her head.
"Let him ride, Mary."
"Oh, so you're against me, too? What is with this place that has everyone bewitched? I want to go home!" She marched in the opposite direction of the barn.
Anne sighed and leaned against the column. She knew she should follow after Mary and try to calm her down, but at the moment, her own heart ached too much. She just wanted a minute or two by herself. That should be enough to bury the pain once more.
Alas, footsteps pounded along the side of the house.
"—Mary can be such a pill sometimes," Louisa's voice rang out. "We all wish Charles had gone for Anne instead."
Anne froze. Why in the world was Louisa talking about that?
"Charles liked Anne?" Rick asked as if surprised anyone could like her. Anne leaned against the column, wishing she could disappear.
"Yeah," Louisa answered, their voices drifting away as they headed for the barn. They must have exited the house from the back door, presumably to avoid running into Mary. "They met at college in a study group and he was really smitten. I remember him coming home and talking nonstop about her. But after a few dates, she ended the relationship, giving a lame excuse."
"Oh?"
"She told him her heart belonged to another."
Anne's face drained of blood.
"She did??
Was that smugness in his voice?
"Yeah, which we all know was false since Anne has never shown interest in anyone."
Of course, Louisa would say that. Make her sound like she was made of unfeeling stone.
"When did all this happen?"
"Mmm, six years now? She introduced him to Mary and now you know where that ended up."
"Does Anne still claim her heart is taken?"
Why was he asking that? Did he want to rub it in or something?
"If you can get her on the topic, yeah, but I don't believe it. I mean, if she really loved someone that much to hang on to him for this many years, then why hasn't she gone after him? If I ever loved a man like that, I would have hunted him down and never let him go. I would have fought the entire world to make sure he was mine."
Though they were nearly out of earshot, she could easily hear Rick's laugh. "Yes, you would. No one could persuade you otherwise, I'm sure..." the rest got lost as they entered the barn.
Anne pressed herself against the column, wishing she could throttle Louisa. Rick now knew she still pined for him. And he didn't care. Louisa was the courageous, strong-willed girl he preferred over the gentle, cautious Anne.
She covered her face, years of regrets raining down on her. But she had made her choice and, like she had told James, she couldn't keep beating herself up over it. She needed to move on.
The words of her sister asking if she liked James rang in her ears. Just because she had lost her heart once didn't mean she couldn't hunt it down and give it to another. And James was a good man. They both liked to teach and both knew the sorrow of losing someone close. She should try to get to know him more. Maybe he could finally break her free from Rick.
Chapter 17
Anne kept a smile affixed to her lips as she leaned against the stall, watching James finish brushing down another horse. She had spent the last twenty minutes talking about his poetry. He did have some skill, but they were too morbid for her taste. Maybe right after her mother's death or when Rick left, she might have enjoyed them, but she wasn't depressed enough to enjoy his current morbid taste.
"You might want to consider trying your hand at happier topics," Anne suggested.
"Poetry expresses the soul," he countered.
"It can also soothe the soul. Or depress it further."
He looked up at her with a grin. "You're being wise again."
"I'm being sensible."
He laughed. "All right. I'll try a happier topic." He turned back to the horse, brushing its mane, eyebrows low in concentration as if he was trying to come up with a new poem on the spot.
Anne inwardly sighed. James was a good guy, but, like the other men she had dated, he wasn't inspiring any type of connection. Not like she had with Rick. Would she never find someone who could beat Rick?
She paused, the memory of the mysterious man in the restaurant rising in her memories like a sun. Now there was someone who had sparked interest and had even seemed interested in her. Too bad she had failed to meet him, let alone get his name. Fate could be so cruel sometimes.
"James?" Harv asked, limping into the barn. "You in here?"
"Over here, Harv." James stepped to the gate and waved toward him.
Harv grinned at Anne. "You going for a ride, too?"
She shook her head. "I was just keeping James company."
He raised his eyebrows. "That's very nice of you. Want to give me some of your company? Your sister—"
Anne flushed. She had completely forgotten about Mary. "I'm so sorry." She hurried forward. "Is Mary in the house?"
"Nope," Harv hobbled after her, struggling to keep up with her fast pace. "In my van. She demanded I gather everyone and get them to leave."
Anne turned around, horrified. "I'm so sorry—"
He waved his free hand, an easy grin on his face, "Don't worry. My wife's parents can't stand the place, either, and they've never even set foot on the farm."
She stared at him. "How can they hate it when they've never been here?"
"Beats me, but they tend to pre-hate a lot of things, including me." He flashed her a grin as if it was the biggest joke.
Anne didn't see the joke. "Your in-laws hate you?"
"They did, but after a few years, they came around." He winked at her. "Never underestimate the power of an adorable grandbaby."
She saw that joke and laughed. "Was that your plan from the beginning?"
"Plan? Me? I'm the type that wings it. My wife, now she's a planner. James, too. Hey," he suddenly grew serious. "Since I have you alone with me, I just want to thank you for getting James out of his shell."
She blinked. "I did?"
"He's been really quiet for a while now, keeping to himself and avoiding company. It's good to see him chatting again."
"Did this start when Fanny died?"
"Oh, he told you? I'm impressed. I can hardly get anything out of him, but it looks like he's spilled everything to you."
Anne shook her head. "I doubt it was everything. I'm sure he could talk straight for a week about his poems."
He raised his eyebrows. "And you got him talking about his poetry? Girl, I do believe I'm talking to a superwoman."
Anne flushed. "I didn't do anything extraordinary."
"I run a farm with certified counselors that haven't been able to get as far as you did in an hour." He snapped his fingers. "By jolly, I do believe you also got Rick to play the piano in public. Another feat I've been trying to accomplish for years!" He leaned toward her with a big grin. "Anne, let me formally invite you to come back anytime ever. I need more superpowers like yours around."
Anne had no idea what to say to that and stared at her hands. All of her so-called superpowers had been used in the quest to get over Rick. Not exactly the noblest of motivations.
The pounding of hooves rang in the air and they both turned toward the pasture as Charles galloped into it.
"Oh, that's Mary's husband. She'll be happier if he's by her side."
"Then let us kidnap him!" Harv said with a wink and Anne laughed. She liked Harv. He reminded her of Al and Sophy. Good, solid people who accepted things without judgment. How she wished her own f
amily could be like that.
They made their way to the pen in time to see Charles handing the reigns to James. The latter led the horse away while Charles practically skipped over to Anne and Harv.
"You have gorgeous country around here." Charles threaded himself through the fence. "Makes me want to uproot and plant myself here."
"Oh, no, Charles," Anne said, "Your place is so picturesque."
"Is it?" Harv asked. "Maybe I should come and visit?"
Charles grinned. "We'd love it." He then looked around. "Where's Mary, by the way?"
"In the van," Anne said with a tiny sigh. "She wants to leave immediately."
Charles rolled his eyes. "Sometimes, I really don't understand her—"
The pounding of hooves made them turn around to find Rick and Louisa racing in fast. Anne immediately backed up, not liking how fast those horses were moving. But the two were able to reign in their animals before they bowled over the fence.
"And I'm the winner once again!" Louisa crooned.
Rick laughed. "It helps that you have the fastest horse."
"Of course! Only the best for me. Let's go again!"
"Louisa," Charles called, "We need to head back. Mary's already in the van—"
"Oh, Mary can suffer a bit longer. She always gets her way but I want mine this time. This place is heaven. Come on, Rick, come with me for another ride!"
Rick, however, swung off his horse. "We should let the horses rest."
"They're horses! They'll be fine."
"Louisa—" Rick began in a warning voice, reaching for the reins of her horse, but Louisa jerked them out of his reach.
"Fine, I'll go by myself!"
"Louisa!"
"Ha!" She yelled, slamming her heels into the horse's side. But Rick was in its way for the exit. Not trained to trample people, it reared up onto its hind legs instead. Louisa screamed, arms flailing. Anne clasped her face in horror. Then Louisa fell backwards, the back of her head landing first, the rest of her body crumpling at an awkward angle.
"Louisa!" Rick shouted, trying to get around the rearing horse to her crumpled form.
Persuading Him: A Modern Persuasion Retelling (Pemberley Estates Book 1) Page 15
