“Yeah.” I nod, I know far too well.
“But I think she needs a friend like you in her life too. I mean, turns out it was you she told the biggest truth to. She was more comfortable telling you about the baby.”
“Yeah.” I look over at Zia and Lily. It’s the first time I’ve really looked at them together, and Lily looks amazing. In my head she couldn’t stand up to how I saw Zia, but in real life Lily is vibrant. When she tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear and glances my way with a smile, I might burst from happiness. This is what I want to feel every moment of my life. I turn back to Tyler. “Maybe in a couple months. Right now I’m just too busy with school and everything to have that sort of drama in my life.”
“That’s fair.” Tyler nods. “She really likes you. You were the first friend she had here.”
“I like her a lot too.” The words send a pang of pain through me as I realize there is probably always going to be this ache in me for her. I suppose everyone feels that way about the first person they fall for. “Take care of her.”
“Of course.” Tyler nods. A draft from the opening door hits me.
“Tyler?”
I cringe at the familiar voice, turning to see Carmen heading our way. Her eyes dart from me to him.
“Hey there, Carmen.” Tyler’s smile doesn’t fade. “Good to see you.” He pulls her into a quick hug.
“You too.” Carmen’s eyes dart to me again. “What are you doing with her?”
“Talking.”
“You know she’s a lesbian, right?” She says it so loud that I cringe, but I refuse to look around and see who might have heard.
“Yeah.” Tyler stretches the word out in a real duh sort of way. “So?”
“So?” Carmen looks flustered and lowers her voice. “You know that’s sinful. She’s taking part in a fund-raiser to make more people gay.”
I roll my eyes at that. “It’s a dance to help make schools more inclusive environments. We haven’t quite figured out how to make people gay yet, but we’re definitely working on it.”
Tyler gives Carmen a look, and turns to speak to me. “How does the fund-raiser work?”
“Sponsors pledge a certain amount and they pay that much per song that I spend dancing with a girl. Lots of people are doing it.”
“Sounds great.” Tyler glances at Carmen, who is watching him like he’s begun speaking in Russian. “Put me down for a dollar a song.”
“Are you sure?” I scramble to pull out my form before he changes his mind.
“Yeah. We need more inclusion.”
I scribble in his info and let him sign. Carmen stands there the whole time. Her expression says everything, and I wish I could take a photo for the others in Queer Alliance because Tyler pledging for me has blown her mind.
“Your dad is a good man, Carmen,” Tyler says. “But I prefer to let God do the condemning if any is needed. Honestly, I don’t believe he will see the need to condemn people just for loving a little differently.” He hands the form and pen back to me. “I’ll see you around, Molly.”
“Thanks,” I say. Tyler heads for the counter, leaving Carmen looking like she was just slapped. “See you, Carmen.” I turn to back out of the diner. Zia catches my eye and I wave. She smiles slightly and waves back.
Lily hurries after me, but I don’t waste time waiting inside for her. With Carmen, Tyler, and Zia all in the diner, it is far too crowded.
Chapter Forty-three
“Are you okay?” Lily asks once we’re outside the diner. “You look like you’re about to be sick.”
“I’m okay, maybe a little nervous about you talking to Zia.”
Lily smirks and turns, walking down the block. “I don’t know why that would make you nervous. It isn’t like she would tell me about inviting you over and throwing herself at you.”
I groan and start after Lily. “I’m sorry I never told you.” I hurry to catch up with her, hugging my pledge form to my chest and wishing I had gloves as the sun drops in the sky. The afternoon is cooling rapidly.
“It’s okay.” Lily glances my way, smiling before pushing a piece of hair from her face. “I’m actually kind of glad you went over there.”
“Really?” I find that hard to believe.
“Yeah. I mean, if you turned that girl down, then I guess you must really like me.”
I laugh, nerves releasing their grip on my chest. “I’ve been trying to tell you that.” I link my arm through hers as we head toward the coffee shop. I turn to look back at the bank clock. The afternoon has sped by far too fast and we’re barely going to make it to the coffee shop before her mom arrives to pick us up. “Did you hear Tyler telling off Carmen?”
“No.” Lily raises an eyebrow. “What did he say?”
“Basically that her dad isn’t as smart as he likes to think he is. I had no idea Tyler went to her church.”
“Good, maybe it will take her down a peg or two to hear it from someone who she knows goes to church.”
I nod. “Maybe. She seemed totally thrown by it.”
We pause for a moment outside the door to the shop, but when Lily doesn’t spot her mom, she tugs me inside. Twice the warmth of the diner hits me along with the almost overwhelming smell of coffee. Under that is a hint of fresh baked goods. My face and hands tingle as warmth seeps in.
Lily pulls her arm free and steps toward the counter. “I’m going to get a coffee.” She looks back at me. “Do you want something?”
I nod and walk beside her to the counter where I study the menu quickly as she orders. When the woman behind the counter looks at me, I ask for a vanilla chai.
We don’t have time to sit down before Lily spots her mom’s car outside. Clutching our warm cups, we hurry out to the car. It’s an older SUV, a bit boxy, but well maintained. Her mom smiles and waves when she sees us. Only then do I realize I’m about to meet her mom for the first time. I barely have time to be nervous before we’re both climbing into the back of the SUV.
“Hi, Mom. Thanks for picking us up.” Lily carefully puts her cup in one of the cup holders and buckles her seat belt. I do the same.
“No problem.” Her mom turns to look back at us. “Hi there, I’m Mrs. Wilson. You must be Molly.”
“Yeah, hi. Nice to meet you.” I put out my hand, thinking how proud my mom would be to see me acting so polite. Lily’s mom takes my hand and shakes it.
“Nice to meet you as well. Lily’s told me a lot about you.”
“Oh?” I lift an eyebrow at Lily. She smiles and lifts her cup to her mouth. “All good, I hope.”
“It doesn’t seem like Lily has anything bad to say about this school.” Mrs. Wilson pulls out onto the road and starts down Main Street. “You’ll have to give me directions.”
“Sure.”
I guide her out of town, taking sips of my chai when I can. The sun is almost down and I miss the longer summer days until Lily takes my hand in the darkening back seat. I glance at her and then up at her mom, a spike of paranoia surging through me. Lily sticks out her tongue at me and wraps her fingers more firmly with mine. I relax a little, glad the darkness gives us a small amount of privacy.
“Right in here.” I tug my hand free as we start up my driveway. “Thanks for the ride.”
“No problem,” Mrs. Wilson says. “It must be nice to live out here. No worries about privacy.”
“I guess.” I never really thought about it before. Mostly it’s just a pain to need a ride any time I want to go into town.
The SUV pulls to a stop and I unbuckle to climb out. “See you in school?”
“Yep.” Lily nods.
“Thanks for coming with me this afternoon.”
“No problem.” Lily waves, and as I shut the door I see her climbing up to the front seat.
I glance back as I head for the door to see her watching me. She blows me a kiss and I grin like an idiot before practically skipping up the stairs and inside.
Chapter Forty-four
“Does th
is look okay?”
I turn from the bathroom mirror to look at Luke. He’s standing just outside the door wearing a white button-up under an olive green zip-up hoodie with jeans. His hair is tousled perfection, but I would never tell him that.
“You going to wear shoes?” I ask.
Luke rolls his eyes. “Of course.”
I nod. “Then you’re good.” I turn back to the mirror, carefully applying mascara. “I didn’t realize you’d be getting this dressed up for Gavin.”
“I heard that.” Gavin nudges Luke out of the way and steps into the bathroom. He’s wearing a striped button-up with a pair of black dress pants. For once he’s even put on a belt. “He’s got to look good so I don’t show him up.” Gavin looks himself over in the mirror, running a hand over his close cut hair, then turning to the side and smoothing his shirt over his abs. He smiles cockily at himself in the mirror and I roll my eyes.
“You two deserve each other.” I put away the mascara wand, taking a last look at myself.
I can’t believe how nervous I am. After tearing through my closet and trying on half a dozen outfits, I settled on a pale pink jacket over a white tank top with my darkest jeans and a silver feather necklace. I fidget with the jacket sleeves. They come a little past my elbows and I never know if I want to push them up or not.
“You two are ridiculous.” Luke shakes his head. “I mean, I expect her to take an hour primping, but you, Gavin?”
“Man, shut up. You’re not fooling anyone. We know you spent a solid twenty minutes making sure your hair looked like that.”
I laugh, giving Gavin a high five. “Thank God someone said it.”
“Shut up,” Luke mumbles, which only makes me laugh harder as I leave the bathroom.
“About ready to head out?” Mom calls from the bottom of the stairs.
“Yeah,” I call back as I dart into my room to grab my phone. I have one text message.
Lily: This look okay?
Attached is a photo of her in a mirror. Behind her I glimpse a hint of pale green walls covered in posters, but I barely notice it because she looks amazing. Her dark curls fall past the shoulder of her white sweater. Below the sweater, a plum-colored tank top hugs her hips, its color a perfect match for her scarf. Dark green leggings and chocolate-colored boots finish the outfit. After staring at her a moment, I lick my lips and send a reply.
Me: Okay? More like amazing!
Lily: lol! Can’t wait to see you <3
Me: Same here =)
“Molly, come on,” Luke calls from downstairs.
I take one last look at the picture before hurrying downstairs. Gavin is twirling his keys around his finger. Both he and Luke already have on their jackets and shoes.
“Sorry.” I hurry to pull on my black boots and grab a more substantial jacket.
“Let’s see what you look like,” Mom says. I turn, holding my jacket, so she and Dan can see. “You look beautiful, honey.”
“Thanks.” I pull on the jacket. “See you later.” I lean forward to hug her and wave at Dan.
“Remember, straight home after the dance,” Mom calls as we hurry to the car, wind blowing around us.
“Okay,” Luke and I call back.
“We ready for this thing?” Gavin asks as he pulls down the driveway.
“Ready to dance with you?” Luke raises an eyebrow. “I kind of hope they play a lot of upbeat songs.”
I laugh. “Don’t worry, it’s pretty much all dance music. You just need to stay paired up with him.”
“And for the slow ones, feel free to rest your head on my shoulder.” Gavin grins and Luke snorts a laugh.
*
I’ve always been amazed how good the school gym can look when it’s decorated for a dance. Tonight is no exception. Even though I helped with a lot of the decorating, I’m still not quite ready for how good it looks with the lights dimmed.
Fabric panels in our schools colors of green and white have been pulled out to cover the walls, and the decorations we made are hung on them. Strands of white Christmas lights stretch overhead, giving the whole room a soft light that hides any flaws. There are only a few people in the gym, but the DJ already has music going and I bob my head to the familiar song as we head toward Lily and the others.
“Hi!” Lily hugs me tightly and I wrap my arms around her thin waist. I want to bury my face in her hair and never let go. Unfortunately, the hug doesn’t last that long. She’s too excited to stay still. “So we already have like ten kids here who signed up but aren’t really in the Queer Alliance. I told the DJ we’ll start the actual fund-raiser dancing at seven so that we have time to go over all the rules and let people be a little late. There are cookies, chips, and soda all for sale over there and Mrs. Bianco is going to watch the table with her husband.”
“Take a breath.” I laugh.
“She’s been like this since we got here.” Maria grins from where she is standing with her arms wrapped around Luke. She looks beyond adorable in a jean shirt with a frilly white skirt over gray leggings and flats.
“There’s just a lot to organize.” Lily glances over at the door and I follow her gaze. Connor, Emma, Dani, and a boy I don’t know enter together with Mick right behind them. Lily waves and they head our way. “Remember, you only get money for songs you dance to. We have volunteers who will be keeping track.”
“We know.” Maria rolls her eyes. “Seriously, calm down, Lil. This is going to go great.”
“Hey.” Connor nods to us. “This is my boyfriend, Ryan.”
“Good to meet you guys.” Ryan waves. He’s a little older than Connor, pale with freckles and light blue eyes that are almost hidden by a flop of curly brown hair.
“Glad you could make it.” Lily’s eyes dart around the room as she speaks. “Do you see Mrs. Bianco? She isn’t at the snack table.”
“She’s talking to the DJ. Calm down,” I say.
“Sorry.” Lily looks down sheepishly and I take her hand. She squeezes it, then pulls away. “I’m going to go check on our volunteers.”
“So you two dancing together?” I raise an eyebrow at Emma as I ask. Dani and Mick have strolled toward the food table with Connor and Ryan. Emma grins and nods, turning to look at me.
“Yeah. Some of my friends are going to be here too.”
“That’s awesome.”
Emma nods and leans close. “Dani and I are officially going out.” There is no hiding the excitement in her expression.
I can’t say that surprises me much, but I’m happy for her. “Did she ask you out?” I ask.
“Yeah.” She glances around like someone might overhear our whispered conversation. “We kissed.”
“How was it?” I can’t help but smile, thinking how amazing I felt after that first kiss with Lily.
Emma shakes her head. “I never got why people enjoyed kissing so much before. It just felt sloppy and awkward with guys, but with Dani—” Emma gets a look on her face that tells me she is head over heels for Dani. “It was awesome.”
“I hear you. Kissing Lily was the best thing that ever happened to me.” I look over to where Lily is talking with a few kids. The gym is filling rapidly now.
“Even with everything that happened with Carmen?”
“Without a doubt.” I nod. “It’s like everyone says, high school is only four years. I only wish I had friends like yours.”
“Well, now you have all of us, right?” Emma grins.
“Yeah, I guess so.”
We stand there as the gym fills, both lost in our own thoughts. I frown when I spot Connor hurrying toward me.
“Molly, I think you better go out in the hall.”
“What’s up?” I follow him toward the gym door.
“Carmen’s here.”
Well, crap.
Chapter Forty-five
“What are you doing here?” I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow at Carmen. She’s standing just to the side of the registration table. I’m happy to see there is a line
out the door of people entering the dance.
Carmen sighs, and waves me over. I glance at Connor and then round the table to follow her as she leads me down the hall. If she tries to take me out of sight there is no way I’m going with her. Luckily, she stops well within sight of the table. I wait for her to talk, expecting another verbal lashing. I’m surprised when she just shifts from foot to foot.
“Carmen, what are you doing here?” I snap.
“I’m sorry for being such a bitch.” The words tumble out of her mouth, leaving her looking almost as surprised as I feel.
“What?” I stutter and shake my head. “Really?”
Carmen nods. “Yeah, really. I’m still pissed that you lied to me for so long, and I still don’t think it’s right, but what Tyler said got me thinking. It isn’t my place to judge.”
Now I sigh. “Carm, I wasn’t lying to you. I didn’t know for sure until the party this summer. I only had feelings and questions before. I thought about talking to you about it, but I knew how your dad felt about it all and I was worried you would react exactly how you have. I didn’t want to lose you over something I wasn’t even sure about.”
“But you’re sure now?” She gives me a look, and I know she is hoping I will tell her I’m not. I almost wish I could.
“I’m sure. I mean, you gave me plenty of chances to change my mind, and if I could I probably would have.”
“I miss having my friend.” Carmen’s voice cracks at the end, and I realize she is holding back tears.
“We can be friends still.” I wonder how in the hell I would explain that to everyone.
Carmen shakes her head. “I don’t think I can do that. My dad wouldn’t even let you come over.” She takes a deep breath, stabilizing herself. “I guess I came here tonight to tell you I don’t want to fight anymore. Is that okay?”
“I never wanted to fight.” I look her in the eye, so she’ll know I’m telling the truth. “I just wanted my friend to be there for me.”
What Happens When Page 19
