by Kelly Moore
His hand leaves mine, and he braces his head with it on the back of the couch. “When I had to walk through those church doors, my knees buckled. It was all so surreal up until that point. I couldn’t even breathe. My mom took Emmalyn out of my arms, and my dad steadied me. I made it through the service, but graveside, I lost it. I had wanted forever with you. My reality was that you weren’t coming home ever again. I kept thinking it was a bad dream and I’d wake up at any moment. When the casket was lowered down, it was like a bullet straight through my heart. I had been tangled up in you since the first day I laid eyes on you. I couldn’t fathom a life without you and how I would ever raise our daughter without her mother.” He’s had to take breaks, swallowing back pain as he tells me his story.
He continues with a quivering smile. “Thank God for my parents. I fell into such a depression that I didn’t want to get out of bed. I’m ashamed to say, that there were days I couldn’t even look at our own daughter. Even as an infant, all I saw was you.” He continues after a deep chuckle. “My mom gave me a swift kick in the ass. She forced me to survive. She left me alone for two days to take care of Emmalyn by myself. She hasn’t left my sight since, except for when I went into the military. It was a difficult decision to make, but I needed to get away, and I had already committed to it. I wanted our daughter to be proud of me and see a man that was strong and focused. It forced me to grow up in ways that I had never imagined. I loved being in the service.” He rubs his thigh.
“Is that from the ambush with Wolfe?” I point at his leg.
“Yeah, I got off pretty easy in comparison. It’s taken some time to recover, but my military days are over.”
I instinctively reach over and place my hand on his thigh. I want to comfort him even if it’s only in a small way. “It still hurts you?”
His gaze is glued to my hand. “Some days are worse than others.” He picks my hand up off his thigh and laces our fingers together.
“You have to understand that I don’t have any of those memories. You talked about me being dead. You thought it was a nightmare; this feels like a dream to me. I need time to process what you are telling me and some proof.”
He turns his head away from me. “I guess I was hoping being here with me would make you remember.”
I turn his chin toward me. “I want to, but it’s not something I have control over.”
His eyes search mine. “I can take you to go have your DNA tested.”
“I can do that, but I need you to tell me that you understand that this isn’t a choice for me. If I loved you and your daughter like you’ve said, I would have never left either of you.”
“I have no doubt that we would still be together. The problem is what do you do when you find out you are in fact Timber?”
“I don’t know. I have a life somewhere else.”
“You had a life somewhere else before you were in California.” His words are a little harsh.
I stand. “This is so hard. You have feelings for me that I don’t have for you.”
He stands and pulls me flush to his chest. “You will,” he says, capturing my mouth with his. The passion that he has for me rolls off him. I explore his mouth with my tongue. His kiss makes me feel things I haven’t felt in a long time. Warmth covers my body, and it feels like home.
We are both a little breathless when he pulls back. “Please, don’t leave until you’ve given us some time.”
“I promise I won’t go anywhere for two weeks. That’s how long I’ve rented this cottage for.”
“At the end of two weeks, you will be madly in love with me.” His smile covers his handsome face.
“It’s getting late. How about I make us some dinner?”
“I would love that, but my hour is up.” He pulls out of my arms, and the warmth I was feeling is gone.
“You could stay longer so we…so I could get to know you better.”
He opens the front door and snow has started falling again. He shuts it and turns my direction. “Only if you ask me to stay?”
“I would love for you to stay and have dinner with me.”
He cocks an eyebrow at me.
“Will you please stay and have dinner with me?” I want to roll my eyes, but his look is so adorable, I can’t.
“It depends.” He takes a step toward me.
I place my hands on my hips. “On what?”
“The only thing I remember you could make was a killer meatloaf, everything else was deadly.” He laughs.
I giggle, but I know that to be very true. “Maybe you should cook.”
“Deal. You sit your pretty little ass down and watch the master at work.”
I plop down on the couch, facing the kitchen. “Could you always cook?”
“No. You and I used to eat out a lot. My mom taught me how to cook as Emmalyn got older. She didn’t want her to be eating toddler food when she was a teenager.” He’s digging through the refrigerator as he talks.
I pick up his guitar and feel the wood face beneath my fingers. I prop it on my leg and start strumming a few notes.
“How does a big pot of chili sound?” He’s pulled beans out of the cabinet.
“Perfect.” I strum a tune.
He stops and looks at me. “Is that one of yours?”
I nod.
“It’s beautiful.” He starts chopping onions and throwing them in a pot.
I continue to play, but watch him as he moves around the kitchen. He seems very comfortable in his own skin. For a man that has been through so much tragedy, he seems happy. At least at this moment. I want to get to know him. Part of me needs to get to know him. His kiss sets my body on fire, bringing back something my body has missed, yearned for.
I change tunes and start softly singing “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack.
A crashing noise has me on my feet. “Are you okay?”
He’s staring at me with his mouth wide open, and there is a shattered glass on the floor. “That song.”
I bend down and start picking up the broken pieces. “It’s one of my favorites.”
“I know, you would sing it to Emmalyn when she was still in your belly and then every night after she was born.”
I stand. He’s watching me. “I guess I’ve loved it longer than I thought.” I don’t know what else to say to him.
“I wish you could say that you remembered it.” He read my thoughts.
“Me too.” For the first time, I really mean it. This man knows so much about me. There is no way this is a coincidence. I’m starting to believe that I really am Timber. I turn from him as an overwhelming sense of desperation hits me. He loves me. What if I can’t love him back? It will break his heart.
Chapter 12
Keegan
I sweep up the pieces of broken glass and watch her from the corner of my eye. She seems like she was starting to warm up to me and now she’s closed off again. She’s sitting on the couch, strumming her fingers on her chin. One leg bounces, shaking it nervously. I can’t take my eyes off her. She’s so damn beautiful. I want to hold her, but I’m sure that would scare her away. I’ve had no interest in any woman since she’s been gone, but my body is fueled by her. I haven’t walked around with a hard-on in years. Everything she does turns me on. The way her hand is twirling in her hair, to the soft, sexy tones of her voice. My fingers itch to touch her olive skin, to have it next to mine. There is another part of me that is begging to be inside her. I look at my crotch. I hold in a groan and turn away from her to adjust myself.
“Dinner should be ready soon. I saw some wine in your fridge. Would you like me to pour you a glass?”
“I think with your record of breaking glasses, I should pour it.” She gets up and takes two glasses out of the cabinet.
“Can you grab the cheese while you’re in there?”
“You eat cheese on chili?” she asks, bending over to get it out of the bottom drawer in the fridge.
I can’t keep my gaze from roaming her ass. She still h
as an amazing body. “Smothered in cheese.” I lick my lips to be able to answer her.
I don’t look away fast enough, and she catches me admiring the view. A sweet, shy smile forms on her lips. I think I even see a little blush of pink across her high cheekbones.
I set the table and place the chili into bowls. She’s very quiet as she eats. She peeks up at me from time to time from behind her long black lashes. “Tell me more about your life in California.”
“I have a good life, a good career. It’s amazing what I’ve accomplished in the last twelve years. I was a young woman who came to town with nothing more than the clothes on my back. Completely lost. I’ve worked hard and met the right people and made a lot of money. I have a six-thousand-square-foot house in the heart of town.”
“Do you live in that mansion by yourself?” I ask between bites of food.
“No.” She puts her spoon down and wipes her mouth. “My friend and business partner Paul lives in the house with me.”
A pang of jealousy hits me. I asked the question but wasn’t prepared for her answer. I stop eating and sip my wine.
“It’s not what you’re thinking. We are only friends. Well…we were more at one time.” She reaches across the table and takes my hand. “I’m sorry, but I want to be honest with you.”
“I guess I can’t expect you to not have had a life.” My words come out a little harsher than I meant. She pulls her hand away. “I’m sorry.”
“Have you had any girlfriends in all these years?”
“No,” I state flatly.
She blinks rapidly a few times then stares at me. I think she is completely astonished by my answer. “I believe the difference is, I knew what I lost, and you had no idea.”
She stands and puts her half-eaten bowl in the sink. She turns around and leans on the counter. “If we are going to work our way through this, you are going to have to quit being angry or hurt over something I didn’t do on purpose. I can lie to you if that would make you feel better.”
That’s the spunky woman I remember. She never took my shit, and she was never a liar. I can’t help but smile at her.
“What?” she asks.
“You are still the same spunky Timber. You always stood up to me.”
She sits back down across from me. “Really? Did we fight a lot?”
“Oh yeah. We fought and then we made up like crazy. Sometimes I think you would pick fights with me just so we would have angry makeup sex.” I laugh.
“So, we were happy?”
“Extremely.” She bites at the inside of her cheek. “Are you happy?” I ask.
“I’m…content. I stay busy to try not to think about my past. There was a point I was obsessed with it, so much so, that I had stopped living. I wouldn’t leave the house for days. I would scour the internet for any hint of my life. Paul pulled me out of that. I was grateful, but never in love with him.”
“I guess I’ve been so consumed with how I felt, I never considered what your life must have been like. For that…I’m sorry.”
“Thank you.” She takes my empty bowl and stares out the back window. “It’s really snowing hard. I don’t think you should go home in this mess.”
My chair scrapes on the linoleum as I turn to look at her. “Are you asking me to stay the night?”
“In the spare bedroom. We could talk some more or play games. I saw a few board games in the bedroom closet.”
I stand nose to nose with her. “I don’t know if I can stay in the same house with you and not want to touch you.” I run my hand down the length of her arm.
“Could you try? I’d really like you to stay.” I can tell by her eyes that she would really like to touch me too, but it’s too soon for her. Same silly girl as before, making me wait for our wedding night. I will go slowly with her, but my body aches to lie next to her.
“You made me wait until we got married to have sex.”
“Did I really?” She smiles.
“Yep, no lie.”
“You must have been a very patient man.”
“I was young and stupid and didn’t realize what I was missing out on. Now, I don’t know how long I will be able to honor your hands-off policy.”
She laughs out loud. “Well, at least you’re honest. But I’m not a young girl anymore either. I think we have some issues we need to work out.”
“I have one painful issue I need to work out.”
She looks at my hard-on. She raises up on her tiptoes and kisses me this time. “I never said that I wasn’t attracted to you.” Her arms wrap around my neck, and she deepens the kiss, exploring me.
My heart races and my hands find the small of her back. I pull her hard against me. I know she wants me. I even remember the sensual noises she makes after all these years, but I draw back. “If you want this to happen, I have no problem taking this further, but nothing happens until you say so.”
Her eyes say she’s debating it, but her body stiffens the moment she decides. “I think I’d like to get to know you better. If I’m not who you think I am, then you had a two-week fling with just some woman. If I’m Timber, it changes the game. I’m willing to have a holiday affair with you, but what happens to you when I go back to my life?”
I have no doubt who she is, but I’ll wait until she knows. I want to make love to my wife, not someone that is a stranger in her heart. “Monopoly.”
“What?” She giggles.
“We used to spend hours playing Monopoly. Go get it from the closet.” I let her slip from my arms and slap her in the ass as she turns away. She yelps and smiles. She used to like a little kink and being spanked; it was part of our makeup sex.
We play until the wee hours of the morning. We’ve laughed so hard my sides hurt. It felt like old times to me, but I’m trying to remind myself that this is all new to her. She seemed relaxed and very comfortable with me; it’s encouraging. I even caught her checking me out when she thought I wasn’t looking.
At three a.m., we finally called it a night, and she let me kiss her sweet lips before we parted to separate bedrooms. I couldn’t sleep knowing she was in the next room. After I had tossed and turned for about an hour, I heard my door creak open. I pretended to be asleep as she quietly crept across the carpeted floor. I could feel her stare on me, but she never spoke or touched me. After a few minutes, she crept out the same way she came in.
In the morning I wake to the smell of coffee filling the cottage. I pull on the same jeans I had on yesterday and make my way down to the kitchen where she is sitting on the couch sipping from a mug with the fire already going.
“Good morning,” I say.
“Morning. Did you sleep well?”
“You tell me. You kept waking me up coming into my room,” I tease her.
She turns bright red and throws a couch pillow at me, and I snatch it before it hits the floor. I mock throw it at her.
“Don’t you dare”—she’s on her feet—“you will spill my coffee.”
“Then I suggest you put it down out of the way, sweetheart.” I cock a serious eye at her.
She sits back down. I walk over and take the coffee out of her hand. “You have two seconds. You started this war, and I will finish it.”
She’s trying to figure out if I’m serious or not. I start my count. “One.”
She flies off the couch and heads for the stairs. I chase after her, catching her at the bedroom door. She laughs as I hit her with the pillow several times.
“Hey, no fair. I only hit you once.” She runs and grabs a pillow off her bed and lobs it at me.
I pick it up. “More ammunition.” I stalk her to the far side of the bed where she has a pillow raised. When I’m close, she hits me with it. I bend down, taking her by the knees and pick her up, throwing her on the bed. She squeals as she bounces a few times. I raise my arms in the air and jump on top of her, pinning her to the mattress.
“You are too heavy. Get off me!” She’s breathless.
“You’re calling me fat
?” I ask, running my nose from her ear down her neck.
“No, not fat, but too strong!” Her hands are pushing on my bare chest, and it’s turning me on.
“You need to apologize, or I’m going to fuck you right here and now.”
Her eyes grow darker, and I feel her clench her thighs together. I know she wants me inside her as bad as I want to be there.
She bites her bottom lip and closes her eyes tight. “I’m sorry.”
I exhale deeply. “You should be.” I get up, taking her with me. “Now do you think a guy could get a decent cup of coffee?”
She smiles and pats my cheek. “I’ll get you a cup.”
She walks out of the room. I grab a pillow, hold it to my face and yell into it, trying to suffocate my sexual frustrations.
Chapter 13
Shay
Why does he have to be so damn sexy and playful? It doesn’t make him easy to resist. When he said he wanted to fuck me, I wanted to give in. Sorry was the last thing I wanted to say—I wanted to scream yes! My body was ready, but my mind wasn’t quite there yet.
As I pour him a mug of coffee, I glance out the window and see the deer out back again. I’m so intent on watching her, I don’t hear Keegan come up behind me.
“She was only a fawn when you rescued her.” The only reason I didn’t jump or spill his coffee is that his voice sounded so intimate next to my ear.
“I…I saved her?” Without thinking, I lean into him.
“Her mother and sibling fell in the ice-covered lake just beyond that tree line.” His warm breath flows down my neck.
“There is a lake back there?” I turn my head just enough to see his gaze locked on my cleavage. I take a step forward, not because I didn’t like that he was looking at me, but because I don’t trust myself with the way I’m feeling toward him.
He reaches around me and grabs his cup of coffee. “Yeah. They fell in, and you stupidly dove in after them. Thank God I had been outside chopping wood and heard your screams for help. You and those deer would have died in the cold water.”
