Well, I could worry about the other conversation if I met a girl later. One thing at a time.
When we got home, Mom told Akasha to take her books up to her room and then called me into the kitchen. She sat down at the table and folded her hands in front of her. “Okay, let’s talk.”
I didn’t feel like sitting down. I stood at the other end of the table and leaned forward with my hands on the back of the chair. “I’m not a flighty girl like Lindsey and you don’t know for sure that I would ruin the rest of my life if I was allowed to date someone. I should get a chance to try.”
Mom pursed her lips together. “I think that you need to calm down, Rosamunde. You’re obviously tense. Why don’t you sit down?”
The cat was winding around my legs and butting me with her head, but I pushed her away. “I don’t want to sit down and I don’t want to be calm. You’ve been putting me off with excuses for a long time now and I don’t think it’s fair anymore.”
Mom looked down at her hands. “I don’t want to argue with my daughter,” she said quietly. “You need to understand that I’ve never tried to control your life. I just want you to be safe. It’s a mother’s job to protect her children.”
The cat jumped up into the chair in front of me and rubbed her head against my hands. I straightened up, letting go of the chair, and folded my arms.
Before I could think about it, I found myself saying, “I don’t want to argue with you, either.” I frowned and took a deep breath, then tried to get back on track. “I just want you to see it from my side. I don’t need you to protect me from everything now. I can take care of myself.”
Mom unfolded her hands and spread them apart. She was staying very calm, but her eyes stared me down. “I know. You’re growing up so fast. I know that I have to let you go sooner or later. There are just some hard lessons that I don’t want you to have to learn yet.”
I opened my mouth to argue and then closed it again. Why was it so hard to just stand up for myself? I looked down at the table. “But I—”
“We’ve had this talk before, Rosamunde. Don’t you remember what we agreed on?”
“That I wouldn’t date until I was done with school.”
“And do you remember why?”
“Because dating is a distraction.” I hung my head. “I just don’t think I would have to let it be a distraction. I balance my time for everything else, like my friends and music and witchcraft. Just because some people make the mistake of letting dating distract them from their schoolwork and everything else, doesn’t mean that I have to let it.”
Mom looked up at me again. Her face looked sad. “Is it really that important to you? What’s more important, your family and your future, or some good-looking guy that you can’t really trust?”
“I—” I wanted to say that it shouldn’t be a fight between the two. I wanted to say that the choice should be mine. I wanted to say that even if I was going to make a mistake, I should at least be able to try it out for myself and learn from it, instead of having my mother trying to protect me, because it wasn’t going to be the end of the world—
I found myself staring at the cat. She blinked her large yellow eyes at me and began to purr. “My family is the most important thing,” I said. I shuffled my feet back and forth. “I’m sorry that I brought it up. I—I don’t want to upset you.”
Mom stood up and walked around the table toward me. She put one arm over my shoulders. “I knew you didn’t really mean it, dear,” she said. “I don’t think you’ve really thought it through. You seemed so agitated. Is there something else bothering you, a problem at school or something?”
“Of course, Mom,” I said. I reached out and hugged her. “I think I’m just tired. I’m sorry for taking it out on you.”
I turned and left the kitchen, going upstairs to my room.
Up in my room, I started pacing back and forth. I thought I knew what I was doing before I went to talk to my mom, but then everything had gotten confused. Something was wrong here. Was I so spineless that I couldn’t stand up to my own mother? Yet, I felt like I didn’t really want to fight with her. It made me uncomfortable now just thinking about it. But I didn’t agree with her, either. She was right to worry about me, but I knew that if I just gave in to her, I’d be unhappy. I was already unhappy. I wanted to be my own person.
I had to clear my head. I had a sudden urge to go out flying. I didn’t want my mom to know that I was leaving the house, so I opened my bedroom window. I slipped outside onto the garage roof, crouching as I crept down the slope. At the edge of the roof I found the backyard fence. I climbed down onto the fence and dropped the rest of the way to the ground.
I tiptoed around the side of the house, checking in the windows, but no one was there. I slipped into the shed where my mom and I kept our brooms and grabbed mine.
I took the broom with me away from the house, into the trees at the edge of the garden and through the forest until I was sure that I couldn’t be seen anymore. Then I hopped on the broom and flew up into the sky.
It was still light out—the sun hadn’t even started to set yet. Up here in the sky, everything was laid out below me, far away where it couldn’t touch me. It all seemed so small and uncomplicated, like the pieces just fit together naturally. If only my life would fall into place like that.
I ran through everything that had happened in my mind. Something about this situation felt familiar. Hadn’t I tried to argue with my mother about something before? Something about Akasha—about Mom reading her diary. Or was it like the time I told my parents Akasha should go to a different school? That time, too, I’d just given in to what Mom said. And the time that Dad told me I should make up with Lindsey, and I wasn’t going to apologize to her until Mom came and changed my mind. Every situation where I tried to stand my ground, she’d found a way to distract me and just drop the fight without really convincing me it was right.
That’s when it hit me: I wasn’t confused at all. I couldn’t think about fighting with my mother when I was in the house. And my mother had insisted that we go home before we talked about anything. She knew I wouldn’t be able to argue with her there.
Something in our house let her control the situation—something magical. I remembered the other weird spells that I’d found in my room: the tracking spell, and the one that kept me from getting pregnant. They wouldn’t be so bad if she’d talked to me about them, but because she’d hidden them from me, they felt wrong, like she was trying to control me without me knowing. Spells that controlled another person’s behavior were strictly against the rules of the Faerie Courts, but if she went so close to the line, who could say she hadn’t crossed it?
It was the best way to explain a lot of the strange things that had happened lately. Thinking back over the years, there were other incidents, most of them minor, but some of them larger—like all the times that I tried to ask if I could meet other witches or maybe get a second opinion about witchcraft. Like when she told me to stop spending so much time with Lindsey and I hadn’t fought to keep that relationship, which led to Lindsey leaving me and breaking both our hearts. I was never going to get that back again.
That made me wonder if the spell was just affecting me, or if it was our whole family. We all seemed to get along pretty well and no one really argued about anything. I bickered with my sister every now and then, but it was always small and we always made up after. I’d never heard her stand up to Mom, and I’d never heard my parents fight.
How dare she do this? I knew that my mom was a witch and she could do a lot of great things to help our family, but that didn’t give her the right to control us. Did the others even suspect what was going on? How long had she been doing this? What other kinds of spells could she have on us to control us against our wills without us even knowing about it?
I had to find the source of the spell and break it. There was no way I could keep living like this, and if they knew about it, my father and sister probably wouldn’t want to live un
der a spell, either. I knew that confronting my mom probably wouldn’t work, because she’d just get upset, and she might even cast a harsher spell on me to keep me from stopping her. I had to learn about magic without relying on my mom and find a way to free us.
Maybe my friends could help. I also had an idea about where I could start. If there were spells that let me control my own memories and emotions, like the sigil that my mom had helped me to make for myself, that meant there was a spell that Mom could cast to help her control our whole family. And that was the key that was going to let me break this spell.
11
Into Faerie
With my broom, sneaking back into my bedroom was easy. I flew up to my window, left the broom on the roof, and slipped inside. I dug the paper with the sigil out from underneath my mattress and took my cell phone out of my bag. When I was back in the sky, I speed-dialed Ashleigh.
She picked up after the first ring.
“Hey, Ashleigh,” I said. “I’m sorry to bother you, but I have another magical problem—actually, sort of magical and sort of family-related. It’s complicated. Can I come over and talk to you?”
“Sure,” she said. “Glen’s here for dinner. Do you want to talk to him too?”
“Yeah, maybe he can help me with this, too,” I said. I knew I could trust both of them. Then what she’d said sank in all the way. “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t want to interrupt your plans for the evening.”
“It’s okay. We’re actually finishing dinner right now. We’ll be done by the time you get here—”
“Even if I’m flying there instead of driving?”
“I knew you were flying. I can hear the wind.”
“Oh.” It was obvious when she pointed it out to me. “Right. Okay, I’ll see you in a few minutes.”
“Fly carefully,” she said, and hung up.
At Ashleigh’s house, her dad answered the door. “The kids are in the kitchen,” he told me. “There’s leftover lasagna in the oven, so help yourself. I was just on my way upstairs.”
“Thank you, Mr. Quinn,” I said. “I really appreciate you letting me come over on such short notice.”
He smiled and raised his eyebrows. “You’re always welcome here, Rosa. Make yourself at home.” He turned and headed up the stairs, leaning on the railing.
I hurried into the kitchen. Ashleigh and Glen were clearing away the dishes from the table. When Ashleigh turned around and saw my pale face, she frowned and came over to me.
“You look even more serious than you sounded on the phone.” She reached out and took my arm. “Come sit down and tell us what’s wrong.”
I let her sit me down in the chair that Glen pulled out. As they took the seats on either side of me, I took the paper out of my pocket and unfolded it to show them the sigil. “My first question is this: have you ever seen this before, and do you know what it’s supposed to do?”
Ashleigh examined it for a few moments and then shook her head. “Sorry, it’s not any type of magic that I’m familiar with.” She passed it to Glen.
He took it and held it up to the light. “Hm. I’ve seen a few sigils before, but I don’t recognize this one. I’ll have to look through my books to find a reference.”
We both looked at him in surprise. “I didn’t know you studied witchcraft,” I said. “That’s what this is, right?”
“Actually, this is arcane magic—sorcery.” He lowered the paper and looked at me. “Where did you get this?”
“My mom helped me draw it.” A wave of shock washed over me. “It’s—it’s sorcery? That doesn’t make any sense. My mom doesn’t use sorcery. We’re witches.”
Ashleigh squeezed my arm. “Witches use the powers granted to them by the Fae, but there’s nothing that prevents them from using other methods of human magic. Anyone can use sorcery if they know how to do it right.”
Glen nodded and pointed to the sigil. “What did your mother say this would do?”
“It’s part of a binding spell.” I chewed on my lip, because I hadn’t wanted to explain this part to anyone else.
He folded his arms and tilted his head to one side. “For what?”
I sighed. “It’s a binding spell for memories or something like that. My mom explained to me that you can’t make your thoughts or feelings just go away, because messing with your heart or your memory is a dangerous thing. Instead, it’s supposed to encourage me to think about something else if I start thinking about—” I looked at my hands on the table. “If I think about how I feel about Lindsey.”
Ashleigh smacked her forehead. “Rosa, I tried to tell you that getting over that was going to take time. Trying to take a magical shortcut is just stupid. You’re smarter than that.”
“But it’s been working really well these past two weeks!” I hunched up my shoulders. “It’s been much easier to be around her at school and everything. I feel so much better now. It’s like there’s a weight off my back and it lets me see the rest of the world a little clearer now, you know? Things that I didn’t notice—” I broke off, thinking about Kai that afternoon.
Glen turned the paper around in his hands. “But now you need help because it’s backfiring in some way?”
That reminded me why I was there in the first place. Another shudder went up my spine. “No. I came to you because I think there’s another spell already on me like this one, except it’s stronger and I didn’t ask for it. I want to find out if it’s there, who it’s affecting—because I think it might be more than just me—and how I can stop it.”
Glen frowned. “Spells that affect someone’s memories can be pretty insidious. It’s bad enough to put one on yourself.”
“I know, but I was kind of desperate. Now it’s creeping me out. I think that the big one is one that my mom cast on our whole house. I think she’s controlling my family so that we don’t argue with her or anything.”
I hid my face in my hands. It was worse to hear myself saying it out loud. I still didn’t want to believe that it was true.
Ashleigh sat down in the chair on my other side and put her arm around me. “Rosa, that’s—awful.”
Glen said, “What makes you think that there could be such a spell? Do you have any evidence?”
I took a deep, shuddering breath and looked up, staring straight ahead at the wall. I had to think about how I could word this so it would make sense to someone else. “It’s just—there’s stuff that hasn’t been adding up lately. I realized it because I started to argue with my mom today, but something was making me stop,” I said. I leaned into Ashleigh’s arm. “When I thought about it, I remembered other things that have been happening where we all went along with what my mom told us to do, even if it didn’t really make sense.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Glen re-fold the paper with the sigil and put it on the table. I heard the creak of wood as he leaned back in his chair. “Can you tell me anything more specific?”
I began reciting the list of what had happened in the past month—Akasha having trouble at school, Dad telling me to make friends with Lindsey again even though I wanted to back off, Mom convincing me that I shouldn’t start dating even though I felt like I was ready.
Ashleigh made a noise of surprise at the last one. “You always tell me that you don’t want to date anyone. I thought that was how you really felt about it.”
“That’s the thing. It feels like all of this is my idea, a decision that I made,” I said. “Especially when I’m at home, I talk myself into believing that’s how I feel. It wasn’t until my heart was telling me that something was really wrong, and I couldn’t get my head straightened out, that I realized some of my thoughts weren’t really mine.”
“Oh my gosh.” Ashleigh gave me a squeeze. “I can’t imagine how horrible you must feel right now.”
I nodded slowly. “The worst part of it is, if I’m right, this is my own mother who’s doing this to our family. I’ve always known that she was kind of the one in charge and we went along with her decisions
on most things, but I didn’t realize until now that she could be making us do things that we didn’t want to do.” I felt tears filling my eyes again and blinked them back. “I mean, a few years ago, when my grandmother died—I thought we would go to the funeral, of course, until Mom convinced us all that it was a bad time for us to take off from school. We loved my grandmother, and we missed her funeral! I’ve barely seen my dad’s family since then.”
“You definitely need help with this,” Glen said. He pushed his chair back and stood up. He started to pace the room. “If you’re right about this, there’s a very serious spell at work here. Your mom has the mage’s mark, so we know that she knows a lot about magic, way more than any of us. If she showed you that sigil, that also means she knows more than one type of human magic. She’s been your only magic teacher, except for the little tricks that Ashleigh and I have shown you, so she could have left huge gaps in your knowledge so you could never figure out what she was up to, let alone hope to break it.”
He walked back to the table and pointed at the folded-up piece of paper. “I don’t know if what that thing is has anything to do with the spell that your mom has on your family. It looks pretty simple, so I don’t know if it’s capable of that kind of large scale manipulation—”
I remembered something else that my mom had told me. “She told me it was sort of a watered down version of something else. She didn’t want to give me anything too powerful because she was afraid of me hurting myself.”
He picked up the paper and unfolded it again. “Okay, so maybe we find the complete version of this sigil and that will give us a clue about what’s going on. My point is that your mom is very powerful and very experienced compared to all of us, and even if we found her spell, I don’t know if we could break it.”
Fae of Calaveras Trilogy Box Set Page 15
