Then, sitting up with a start, I remembered where I’d seen that name before. Esther’s German Bakery was the business right next to Black Forrest Dreams, the magic shop in Cave City where I’d gone to investigate the illegal mushrooms in my mom’s store. Could it be a simple coincidence that both of those businesses had potential ties to the Unseelie? That stretched the edges of belief.
But what good did knowing that do me now? I could track down every Unseelie in the county and it wouldn’t help me find my mother. They wouldn’t talk to me, and I wasn’t a cop who could bust in and search the place for clues. If I turned them in to the hunters, then I would lose what contact I currently had and end up farther away from ever finding Akasha.
As much as I hated it, they held all the cards right now. I had to do what they said and look for my opportunity as I went.
Then I remembered what they wanted me to do. In everything that had happened since then, I’d forgotten my first conversation with Zil. They wanted me to steal something from Ashleigh so they could put a tracking spell on her. Great. I just loved stealing from my friends. I sighed and tried to think of what personal object I could take from her that she wouldn’t miss.
But first, it was time for me to have a long, awkward conversation with Kai.
I finally got up the nerve to talk to Kai on Sunday afternoon, putting it off until the last possible time of the weekend. I’d been dreading it, but I finally decided that it was better to resolve things before we would be back at school and I had to face Zil again. I owed it to everyone to finally come clean.
He picked me up at my house and greeted me with a kiss. I kissed him back self-consciously, but I couldn’t look directly at him.
“So, you said you wanted to talk,” he said. “The truck is all warmed up. Where do you want to go?”
I shrugged. “Let’s just drive somewhere. It doesn’t really matter.”
He pulled off my street and onto the highway, picking a direction almost at random. I stared at my hands, not saying anything. Kai seemed just as tense, gripping the wheel tightly with both hands and refraining from his usual jokes.
At last he pulled onto a deserted side street and parked, keeping the engine running so the heater would continue to blast warm air through the vents. “Okay, Rosa, do you want to tell me what’s going on? I’m really confused. I thought we had a great week together and everything was fine, but then you’ve been avoiding me for the past two days. Did I do something wrong again?”
I shook my head, staring out the window at the snow-covered trees. “You did nothing.” I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I made a mistake. I’m really sorry. I just don’t think that things between us are going to work out.”
He reached across the seat and grabbed my hand. “What do you mean? Of course it’s working out! Haven’t we been happy?”
“Not really. And I—did something, Kai.” I didn’t want to cry, but the tears were coming all the same. “I cheated on you. With Zil.”
He stiffened, and his hand squeezed mine tightly. I wanted to pull away from him but I didn’t dare to. “What do you mean? Is it even cheating if it’s with a girl?”
“Of course it is!” I looked up at him in shock. “I kissed someone besides you! And I knew, even when I did it, that what I was doing was wrong and it would probably hurt you, but I did it anyway. I’m so, so sorry.”
He gave me a weak laugh. “Well, maybe I wouldn’t mind so much if you let me watch next time. Although Zil’s not really my type.”
I yanked my hand back, wrinkling my nose in disgust. “It’s not a free show. Don’t even joke about that.”
He sighed and turned away. “I’m sorry, Rosa, but I’m just trying to get a handle on this. Are you saying that you want to break up with me so you can be with her? Is this what all the time with her was really about? You were just lying about the information from your mom?”
I flinched like he’d slapped me, but I realized that he had a valid accusation. I’d been really secretive about the information I’d gotten from Zil, because I didn’t want him to know about all of the other lying and stealing I’d been doing for her. “No. She is working for the Unseelie, and now they want me to talk to someone else instead of her. In fact, I just found out about the final test before I can get my sister back. I’m getting closer than ever.”
“But do you want to date her?” he said flatly.
“I don’t know!” I threw up my hands in exasperation. “I might not be able to handle any relationships right now. And Zil won’t even talk to me since this happened yesterday. She was upset after—after what I did.” I couldn’t bring myself to say it aloud a second time. “She didn’t want me to cheat on you. But now I don’t know if she’s avoiding me because of that, or if the Unseelie are keeping her away from me for some reason. This feels a lot like my mom is involved.”
Kai drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. “You always have so many excuses. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s better if we just break up.”
Tears trickled down my cheeks. “I didn’t want it to end like this. I went about this all the wrong way. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry, too,” he snapped back. He turned the key in the ignition and the engine roared back to life.
I cried the whole time that he drove back to my house, and when he pulled into the driveway, I wiped my face with the edge of my sleeve. My face would still be all red and puffy. It didn’t matter anymore. Everything that I did just seemed to hurt the people around me, and I couldn’t stop it. All I could do now was focus on finding my sister, confess everything, and accept my punishment from the Seelie Court.
Kai sniffled, and I realized that he had been crying a little, too. He cleared his throat. “What do you want us to tell other people? I don’t want to make your life miserable by spreading rumors at school about you cheating on me.”
“Th-thank you,” I said shakily. “Um, people will be able to figure out that it wasn’t mutual, so that’s not fair to say. If they want explanations about why I chose to end it, you can just say that I’m under a lot of stress about my family stuff.” I sighed, rubbing my face on my sleeve again. “That’s basically the truth anyway.”
Between gritted teeth, he said, “People don’t cheat just because they’re stressed about their family. That should never affect our relationship. I tried to support you.”
I clenched my hands into fists, struggling not to cry more. “I know. You were wonderful.”
He looked at me pleadingly. “What more can I do? I love you, Rosa. I would do anything in the world if I could just be with you.”
I shook my head. I was so congested from crying that it felt as if my brain was sloshing around inside my skull when I moved. “Nothing. Just let me go. I wish circumstances were different, but I can’t fix them right now. I don’t even know how.”
I pushed on the handle and the truck door swung open.
“Don’t I even get a good-bye kiss?” he cried after me.
I felt drippy and disgusting, but I wiped my nose yet again and turned back to him, leaning across the seat. His lips were just as warm and soft as they had always been, but the kiss only made my heart hurt even more. I had no idea if I was doing the right thing, but I couldn’t keep torturing both of us like this.
I didn’t dare look at him again afterwards. I climbed down out of the truck, slammed the heavy door, and crunched my way across the snow to my house. Behind me, I heard the truck engine roar, and the tires squealed on the driveway as he drove away.
The cold air froze my wet face in the few feet that it took me to get back inside.
Dad looked up from the couch in the living room as I came in. “You’re back already, sweetie?” He must have seen how red I was, because his greeting smile disappeared. “What happened?”
Time to start giving everyone the news, I guess. “I broke up with Kai.”
He shifted uncomfortably, no doubt remembering our previous fight the week before. “Do you want to talk about it?�
��
“No.” I kicked off my shoes. “No one understands, anyway.”
I stomped down the hallway and slammed the door to my room. I wanted to start texting my friends before school tomorrow so I could just get through class without talking to anyone.
28
Defy the Unseelie
Rosamunde
On Monday at school, Kai and his best friend Anil avoided me and the rest of my friends, sitting on the opposite side of the classroom without a word. The other students noticed, but Ashleigh fielded their questions so none of them approached me directly, and Heather had an arm around me for most of the day. I was sad but grateful for the support of my friends.
I worried about how Zil would behave, but she didn’t come to school at all. The teacher, Julie, said she was excused with a cold, but I suspected that wasn’t the truth. Somehow the Unseelie were keeping her away from me. I couldn’t believe how far their influence reached. Although I knew she was absent, I caught myself looking around for her every so often, my eyes seeking her face just as they’d been doing for the past month. The break-up with Kai was still raw but I missed her presence even more than his.
When I realized who I cared about more, I felt guilty, and put my head back down. I didn’t need anyone else to notice my odd behavior and start any rumors. But inwardly, I was angrier with the Unseelie than I’d ever been. Everything they’d done—threatening me, hiding my mom and sister, forcing me to betray my friends, trying to open the gate—it was all destructive. Whatever their motives for doing these things were, their methods were all wrong. I would get Akasha away and stop them at all costs.
So when Marzell waved at me in the dining hall during lunch and tried to get me to follow him somewhere else, I turned away as if I hadn’t even noticed. He couldn’t approach me with my friends hanging around so closely, and I had no intention of making it any easier for him to talk to me. Let him figure out that I didn’t like the Unseelie’s arbitrary decision about Zil.
Then as we were walking into orchestra, a piece of paper fell out of my bag. Ashleigh bent down and snatched it up off the floor. “What’s this?” she said, holding it up to me.
I looked at it with a frown. “I don’t know, let me see.” I took it from her and unfolded it. Inside there were two lines: “I have news about Zil. Meet me after school. Marzell.”
I crumpled it up and stuffed it into my pocket. “Just a reminder I wrote to myself about something I’ve got to do later.”
After we sat down, I glanced back in Marzell’s direction—carefully, because the trombones sat right next to the trumpet players, and I didn’t want to catch Kai’s eye—and gave a slight nod of my head. I’d give him one chance to talk.
When the final bell rang, I asked Glen to wait for me a few minutes before he gave me and the other girls a ride home. I followed the dwarf boy outside around the corner of the building, away from the crowd of students who were rushing out to the parking lot and the bus stop.
“I’m not going anywhere with you,” I said, stopping and folding my arms as soon as we were out of sight. “I can give you, like, two minutes. Start talking.”
He frowned up at me—I was short for a human at five-foot-four, but even as a full-grown dwarf, Marzell would probably never reach far beyond four feet tall. “Look, Zil wanted me to tell you that she’s really sorry and she wishes that she could talk to you. But there was a huge freak-out on Saturday that she won’t even talk to me about, and they’re not changing their minds right now.”
I tapped my foot. “Yeah, that’s not my problem. Nothing against you personally, but I’m only going to talk to her. If they want the thing they asked me about, or any other help from me, it’s gotta come through her.”
He folded his hands together and lifted them up, pleading with me. “She was afraid you would say that. Please don’t ruin everything just because of this. Your help has been the best thing to happen for us in years. If you just keep going, we could fix everything, and then the others won’t care anymore.”
I snorted in disbelief. “That sounds like exactly the sort of thing that they would say to convince me.”
“That’s why she gave me this for you.” He dug in his pockets and handed me a crumpled piece of notebook paper. “It’s against the rules, but I want to help.”
I opened up the note and examined the writing inside. It looked like Zil’s jagged handwriting. I read it quickly.
Rosa,
I tried to tell her that you’d only want to talk to me, but she’s really mad. Marzell’s the closest thing I’ve got to a real friend besides you and he promised to pass this on. Please talk to him and work with him on this, or it’s going to turn out worse for me and everyone else.
About Saturday, I’m sorry that I freaked out and yelled at you, but I don’t want to get stuck in the middle while you make up your mind. I think you and Kai make a good couple and I don’t want to come between you two. I hope you can work it out and be happy with him. Don’t worry about hurting me, just try to do whatever will make you happy. I care about you.
I hope you can finish the plan and get your sister back. I think when it’s all over, I’ll be able to talk to you again.
Zil
I finished the note and tucked it away in my pocket. I wasn’t quite ready to make eye contact with Marzell again, so I stared at my shoes. I took a deep breath. “Um, thanks. Could you tell her that I, uh, I ended it with Kai, and I miss her?”
“Of course.” He cleared his throat. “Not that it’s any of my business, but I’ve got my fingers crossed for you guys.”
I looked up at him in surprise, and saw the dwarf grinning back at me. “Hey, I’ve been hanging out with Zil for a long time, and the happiest I’ve ever seen her is when she talks about you.”
I blushed and looked back down at the ground. “Wow. Thanks,” I said again. “Well, I’ll try to help. Let me see if I can get that thing for you today, and then I’ll meet you again tomorrow, okay?”
“Sure.” Marzell looked past me and around the corner. “This spot before class?”
I shook my head. “This looks way too much like we’re doing something suspicious. Just pull me aside in the hallway or something. That’s what Zil usually did.” Thinking about it made me upset again, so I turned around. “See you tomorrow,” I called over my shoulder.
I ran out to Glen’s car in the parking lot and hopped in the back next to Heather. From there, I leaned forward to talk to Ashleigh in the front seat. “Do you want to be my study buddy today? I don’t feel like being alone right now.”
“Of course,” she said warmly. “In fact, why don’t you all come over to my house? We can study for the big chemistry test together, and I can throw together some snacks.”
Everyone else agreed, and I leaned back in the back seat. Sorry, Ashleigh, I thought to myself. I’m only manipulating you because I have to. I’ll make it up to you someday. I tried not to think too hard about what the spell might do as we inched out of the parking lot and on our way.
We stopped at the supermarket on the way to pick up some easy snacks like chips and soda, then drove on to Ashleigh’s house. The four of us set up in her living room, spreading out books, notes, and food over most of the available surfaces.
For the first time in months, I didn’t know where to sit. I’d always found a spot with Kai, but just like at school, everything was mixed up now. I looked at the others and realized that I didn’t know if Glen would sit next to Heather or Ashleigh. Everything in our group had gotten so complicated.
To my surprise, Heather took the lead by pulling two of the overstuffed chairs next to each other, then plopped down on one and patted the other one while looking up at me. “Can you show me your notes from Friday when I was out at my doctor’s appointment?” she asked.
I probably had the least readable handwriting of anyone in our group, so I knew that she was singling me out for help as a way of distracting me. I smiled and sat down with her. “Sure thing.”
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br /> Glen and Ashleigh sat on the couch together, with their usual six inches of space between them, and began leafing through their own study materials. Just minutes later, Ashleigh popped up again and grabbed her cup. “Does anyone need ice? The soda’s still warm.”
“Sure,” Glen said without looking up from his book.
Heather and I nodded in unison, and Ashleigh left the room, balancing four cups in her hands. She came back with each one full of ice and asked everyone for their soda choice, then busied herself pouring beverages.
She sat back down, but she barely cracked open her textbook before she stood up again. “I should get some bowls for these chips and things,” she said, bustling off into the kitchen again.
I looked up when she returned. “Whoa, slow down,” I said, seeing her opening bags and dumping them into plastic dishes. “We got these so you wouldn’t have to do all of this work to feed us. You’re supposed to be studying, too.”
“I know, sorry,” Ashleigh said. She took up her spot on the couch again, picked up her textbook and a pink highlighter, and went back to studying.
I watched her out of the corner of my eye. What had gotten into her today? If she was going to be jumping all over the place, I’d never get a chance to steal something of hers without her noticing. I was doing my best to act casual, but could she somehow guess what I was really planning?
An hour passed as we worked our way through the review of the last three chapters of chemistry, combing our memories and notes. Ashleigh mostly participated, but every time someone’s cup was empty or a chip bowl needed refilling, she sprang into action. With her watching everyone like a hawk, I’d never have an opening to make my move.
Ashleigh looked over at me once with a grin. “Well, Rosa, you have an advantage over the rest of us with that memory charm you’ve been carrying around.” She nodded at a small bulge in my pocket.
With a start, I remembered that Ashleigh had helped me make something to help my memory when I first started looking for clues about my mom’s whereabouts. I’d stopped carrying it weeks ago when I’d tracked down every lead from what I knew before she disappeared, and the charm in my pocket was now the lie detecting spell I’d made for myself. There was no way that she could tell the difference from the shape, right?
Fae of Calaveras Trilogy Box Set Page 46
