by Nico Verwey
Chapter 7 - Hormone Valley
That Sunday evening is still etched into my brain. Doctor Mustard and John came running into the room as Leonard was screaming and crying, shaking his mom to try and wake her up. John had to pull Leonard off his mom to give Doctor Mustard and the nurses some space to work on Annette. Leonard grabbed John, “Grandpa why did my mom leave me, I begged her to stay, why? Why did Jesus not answer my prayer?” All that John could do was to hold Leonard in his arms and cry with him. Marie came running into the room as Doctor Mustard looked at the nurse, "Okay, let’s call it! We have done what we could! Time of death: 11:43 pm.” Doctor Mustard turned to John, Marie and Leonard, “Sorry you guys, we did the best we could! At least now she is with God and the pain and suffering she went through in her life is done!”
Leonard ripped himself from John’s arms, “She should not be with God! She is my mom and she needs to be here with me!” Leonard jumped onto the bed and embraced Annette’s body as he nuzzled his face into Annette’s neck and cried! “Come Leonard my boy, we need to go home now!” as John put his hand on Leonard’s head. “John, leave Leonard here to say goodbye for a few minutes. Let’s first tell the others and then we can come and get him, okay?” Marie was still shaking from the shock when John put his arms around her, “Okay my love let’s go.”
John and Marie walked out of the room where they met with Sam and Liza and told them the news. Liza put her arms out to Grandpa John and nuzzled her face on his chest. John could feel the warm tears against his skin as Liza cried, “Don’t worry my little one, mommy is safe with Jesus. All her pain is gone and one day we will all see her again!” John kissed Liza on her forehead and gave her back to Sam, “I am quickly going to get Leonard, then we can go.” Sam took Liza, “Don’t worry my baby, daddy will look after you, okay?” John walked back to the room where Leonard was still on the bed with Annette.
It was as if God knew that the pain in Leonard’s heart was unbearable and let Leonard fall into a deep sleep. “Doctor Mustard, what now?” Doctor Mustard’s emotions was etched on his face, “John, once again sorry for your loss. Annette was like my own daughter, but I am glad to say she is with our Heavenly Father tonight. No more pain, suffering, AIDS or scars. She is at peace and if I repeat her words to me, “Doc I am going to be perfect again”. John just to let you know what happens now, Annette will be taken to the mortuary and her death certificate will be made out by the coroner. You can start the arrangements for her burial after you received the death certificate. The undertakers can come for her by tomorrow afternoon to collect the body. You clear on this?”
John nodded as he picked Leonard up from the bed, “See you tomorrow Doc and thank you for all you have done for my little girl. May God bless you and keep you!” John walked out of the hospital that Sunday night with a heart filled with anger, fear of the future and pain.
He knew that this night would be a red letter day for his family and that the passing of Annette would create a vacuum in Leonard’s life that no one would be able to fill. They arrived home and put the kids to bed. As John put Leonard in bed he heard Leonard’s sleepy voice, “Love you mom!” John’s whole body shook as the heartache erupted in him, “God, I know Annette is with you. I know she is healed and in a better place, but could you not have given Leonard more time with his mom. I know it is selfish God, but still. Please help me to help Leonard to understand. Please give me wisdom. Amen.”
John walked out with Sam, “Thank you for your help tonight Sam. Drive safely back home!” Sam looked at this old broken man, “Glad to have been of help old man. Just something to think about the next few days, I want to talk to you about Liza, but let’s get Annette buried first before we tackle this thorny issue.” John did not have the energy or the emotions to waste on Sam, “Note taken Sam, goodbye!” John walked into the house and wrapped his arms around Marie, “Love you my only!” With that they went to bed and fell asleep with the sniffing and soft crying of Leonard and Liza in their ears.
Leonard was still replaying that night’s event in his dreams as he tried to save Annette over and over again. Nothing seemed to work, as every time his mom would die just when it seemed he saved her. It became dark in his dreams as he tried to revive his mom once more, “You see Leonard, God took your mom away from you! I told you he was no good, didn’t I?” Hissed Lucifer, the dark angel. “Now do you believe me, or shall I say in me, mmmmmm?” Leonard looked at Lucifer with hatred etched into his eyes, “Go away you liar and thief! You did this to my mom and dad, not God!” Lucifer erupted in anger, “Who told you this? Your good for nothing mom? She is dead as I promised you! You know what you little bastard; it is all because of you! I told you I will take her and I did! You see little man I can give but I will take as well!” Leonard balled his fist to hit this demon, “You see I was right!” “Oops now the cat is out of the bag! My boy I feel betrayed by your mom and dad for telling you so many lies about me! Leonard, I kept to all my deals with your father and mother, boy. I gave them what they wanted, to your dad I gave your mom, unfortunately I could not complete my deal in death, because of a little prayer he prayed many years ago that released me from that contract and your mom I gave riches and fame. It’s not my fault your dad released me from our deal or that your mom could not keep away from drugs. So how did I lie to them, you tell me, BOY? How am I the one you want to hit! Oh just a note on that, I LIKE YOUR ANGER ISSUES!”
Leonard looked at him, “As my mom said your deals are crooked as you have also shown me in my own past dealings with you. Yes, you keep to it to a point, but it never turns out as it was intended. I promised my mom to fight you whenever and wherever I can, so beat it before I beat you up!” Lucifer grinned, “So much anger! I like it, now on that I can build! It would seem that you my boy have a problem with authority and still have not learned that I can give and take away as well. To show you who I am, I will take your precious grandma next! We can make a deal though?” Leonard looked at him, “No deals! Now go!” Lucifer turned around, “Okay, that is your choice; don’t say I did not give you any options! Just remember when your precious grandma dies I did give you a choice!”
The next morning John woke up with a steaming cup of coffee next to him and Marie touching his cheek with her finger tips, “Come see this John!” John climbed out off the bed and walked with Marie. They walked into Liza’s room and what John saw could have melted the polar icecaps. In Liza’s room they found Liza sleeping in Leonard’s arms with Leonard holding her and playing with her curly hair. Leonard was humming a song Annette use to sing to Liza to calm her when she was scared.
John and Marie stood looking at them for a while when the phone rang, “Hello John, Pastor Pieter here.” John sipped on his coffee, “Good morning Pastor!” “How is Annette this morning?” John gulped down the emissions before answering, “Pastor, Annette passed away last night. I need to come and see you to get all the arrangements in place for her funeral.” Pastor Pieter was shocked, “John you guys okay? My brother you just say the word if I can help and I will! I will let the rest of our church know, so don’t you worry about anything, okay!” John smiled, “Thank you Pastor, much appreciated!”
John put down the phone and walked to the kitchen, “Morning grandpa!” said Leonard, “Can we go and visit mom today? Hope she feels much better than last night when she fell asleep!” John could not believe the request from Leonard, “My boy, your mom passed away last night, don’t you understand?” A tear rand down Leonard’s face as his face showed the pain of his hart, “I remember grandpa! I thought it was a bad dream and hoped it would not be true.” Marie walked around the table and put her head on Leonard’s shoulder as she hugged him from behind, “We will be okay my boy. Your mom is now in a better place, okay?” Leonard smiled, “I know grandma, and my mom explained to me how heaven looked just before she died.” “What did your mom tell you my boy?” asked Marie. “Well grandma.....”
The phone rang, “Yes Pastor?” answered John. “John, one of our memb
ers of church has got her own funeral services business. She said she would take over all the arrangements for the funeral. The best is that it will not cost you one cent!” John was flabbergasted, “Why would she do that Pastor?” “Well John she told me that many years ago her husband was quite the sex addict. He screwed everything and its cat till one night he met Annette. He was getting ready to pay for her, to use her words, when Annette asked him why he did this to his wife. She said Annette forced her husband that night to face his demons. He talked to her and Annette helped him through a lot of bad history and helped him to get their marriage back on track. He paid just to talk to her and now they want to give back to the angel that helped them repair their life and marriage!”
John smiled, “Wow Pastor, my little girl did that? I am so proud of her! Thank you Pastor, this was really inspirational.” “John all you need to do is go and pick her casket and the rest they will do, okay?” “Once again, thank you Pastor Pieter! Thank you!” John walked back to the kitchen where Marie, Leonard and Liza were enjoying their breakfast, “You won’t believe this, but everything is sorted for the funeral and we just need to go and pick the casket. It is as if God himself wants to lay our Annette to rest.”
It was not long after breakfast that the front doorbell rang. “Morning John, I just...” John looked at Jillian, “What happened to your face my girl?” Jillian stepped back, “O, nothing John, I fell in the bath the other day. How are you guys doing?” Leonard came running past John into Jillian’s arms, “My mom has died Aunt Jillian.” Jillian hugged him, “Don’t worry my boy, I am still here for you! You my boy must always remember this, okay!” John was not convinced, “Jillian is Jan beating you again? Come on tell the truth!” Jillian smiled, “I..., I promise John, no beatings here!”
John and Leonard left for AVBOB later that morning to go and pick Annette’s coffin as Jillian and Marie sat down to have some early morning tea. John and Leonard settled on a dark oak coffin with golden handles and a fresh flower bouquet in the form of a cross. The inside of the coffin was soft with a silver satin lining and a soft silver satin cushion. To Leonard it was a beautiful coffin for a beautiful princess. The funeral consultant gave John and Leonard the funeral letter to write and asked for some photos to put on the front page. Leonard looked at John, “Grandpa may I write my mom’s funeral letter?” John smiled, “Yes my boy. Just remember, we need it done by tomorrow.” Leonard smiled, “Yes, grandpa will have it ready by then.” John and Leonard left the funeral offices and met Pastor Pieter at the church to arrange the church service and announcements. It was around three o’ clock when the two of them arrived home. Leonard ran to his room and sat behind his table to write his letter to his mom.
The next morning John took Leonard’s letter and some photos to the funeral home to finalise the letter and times so he could forward it to the church, “I don’t know what is in this letter Molly, but please read it before you put it in. Leonard asked me not to read it before the service. Change it as you see fit, okay?” Molly was the owner of the funeral home and a dear friend of Annette, “Okay John, will change it as needed.” John left the funeral home and could not go home that morning. He drove out of town to Barkley West to the fishing spot where he and Leonard always went and fished. He sat next to the water with the wind softly moving through the branches of the trees and the birds singing. His heart broken and the tears were flowing like a river in flood.
“God, I need to understand this! Please let me understand what happened in our lives. There is so much pain and anger! What did we do wrong?” at that moment it became very quiet around John and a butterfly caught his eye. The butterfly was black with the most beautiful yellow pattern on its back just flying from flower to flower. As the butterfly sat down on an orange daisy, a bird came down and caught the butterfly. John at first was disgusted with the bird but as if God took the time to whisper in his ears, he suddenly understood. It was not the butterfly that did anything wrong or the bird. They both did what they needed to do to survive, to other people it may look cruel, but at that moment they both were doing what they were created for. John took out the letter Squeal wrote to them all, many years ago, and for the first time he understood. Squeal only did what he was lead to believe. His actions influenced all of their lives, but ultimately it was his choice to do what he did and their choice to forgive Squeal and break the cycle of pain and anger.
John arrived home just after four the afternoon, “Marie where are you?” “Leonard’s room John!” John walked in and took Marie in his arms and gave her a kiss like they use to when they were still teens, “Thank you John and if I may know, what did I do to deserve this?” John smiled, “Marie I now know what you knew for so many years. I may not like the outcome of our story so far but I at least understand!” Marie was confused by John’s words, “Tell me more.” John told her about his experience at the river and how it was as if God himself showed him the answer to his question. Marie looked at John, “Told you there are answers. I am so glad you had this experience, because Leonard asked about that letter! John, he wants to know!” “Don’t worry my angel. I will handle Leonard and his thirst to know next weekend when we go for our annual fishing trip just before the school re-opens and then we can read the letter together. I know how to answer him now!”
The next morning was very busy with the family getting ready for church. Sam came with his big BMW to collect them all, “Good morning you guys. You ready for the holy place?” They arrived at church just before Annette’s coffin arrived, “John, everything is ready and in place for today. The letter from Leonard needed no changes and I added just a few extra details about Annette. His letter is written in a cloud on page three of the leaflet. I just need to warn you that it will break your heart when you read it. That said, would you read it in church for us, please John?” John just could not bear it and left it for Pastor Pieter to read.
Brothers and sisters we have now concluded the service and just before we close the service with a hymn Annette loved so much, I need to read the funeral letter. Pastor Pieter’s eyes filled with tears as he began reading the letter, “Annette Botha was born 15 April 1954 to her parents John and Marie. Her son and daughter whom she loved and leaves behind were born in 1969 and 1976 respectively”. Her son wrote the following tribute to Annette.
“My mom was not always a good mom to me.” The church went quiet with shock, “My mom did not give me much except some stitches on my forehead. My mom never played with me or sat down to talk to me. My mom was no good to me most of the time, but today I want to say mom that I loved you, even though you did all of this to me!” John could not bear the pain that came out of the letter. You could hear how people tried to keep their hearts from breaking for this boy. “When I was still in your womb I loved you mom. When you hurt me I loved you mom. When I wanted to talk to you and you screamed at me and made me cry I still loved you! In the end your eyes were opened and my love for you won your heart. Thank you mom that you gave me a chance to be your boy. Thank you mom for being my best friend in the last few months and loving me till death did us part. Thank you for singing to me and just loving me for who I am. Thank you for forgiving my dad even though I did not know him, because without that our last few months would not have been possible. Mom, you have left me again to go to Jesus, but always remember that even though I am alone again I will love you forever! Till we see one another again, LOVE LEONARD!”
As the congregation rose to sing Amazing Grace, there was not a dry eye in the room. The song was not sung on key nor could anybody complete the words. It was as if God in that moment came down and showed everybody what real love was and how far it could reach if it was lived to the fullest. Annette was buried in the Kimberley cemetery that afternoon. As her coffin was lowered into the red sand of Kimberley the last words spoken over Annette were, “From dust were you made and to dust you will return till Jesus comes, Amen.” They all left the grave that afternoon with the words still ringing in their ears, “Ti
ll we see one another again, Love Leonard!”
John tried to lift the mood in the car, “Leonard my boy you must remember that we must go and get Liza and your school things tomorrow, okay?” Leonard looked at John and let his head slump unto his chest, “Yes grandpa!” John could see how Leonard was trying to act all brave but knew how this warrior of his was breaking inside. Liza on the other hand, could not wait for her first school day, “Grandpa, can I get pink, blue and purple pencils. O, yes and books and a backpack. OH, OH, OH, and school clothes and shoes!” John could not help but laugh, “Yes baby girl your daddy will take you to shop and I will take Leonard, okay?” Liza jumped up and down, “Yippee I am going to school, I am going to school!” Sam smiled at the enthusiasm of his little girl, “And if you behave I just may buy you a present baby girl!”
The next day Sam arrived early to take Liza for her school shopping, “Come baby girl we have lots to do!” John still had to finish some paperwork for the insurance to finalised Annette’s estate, “Leonard we will be leaving in half an hour’s time, please be ready!” They went to town around ten o’ clock that morning and stopped at the Old Mutual Offices in town. John dropped off the paperwork and walked back to the car, “Leonard, let’s walk to the Shopping Centre, it’s just around the corner.” Leonard got out, “Grandpa the letter my mom spoke about, when can I read it?” John’s heart jumped into his throat, “I thought it would be good to go fishing just before school next week my boy. I think we can read it together and then talk about it. Is that a deal?” Leonard nodded, “Yes Grandpa!”
John and Leonard arrived home just before Sam and Liza. “Hey sis Liza! What did you get?” Liza jumped up and down, “Look Leonard I got all of this school things and a bike!” Leonard could not believe his eyes, his little sister had a pink bicycle with little ribbons on the handlebars and bags full of school supplies much more than he ever had in his life, “My daddy bought me a bicycle! I am so excited!” Leonard looked at Sam, “Uncle Sam did I get a bike?” Sam smiled at Leonard, “No Leonard your grandpa bought you what you needed and I what Liza needed!” “But Uncle Sam did Liza need a bike for school as well? Grandma always drops us at school. Why did she then get a bike?”
John could see how Leonard’s eyes changed with the raw anger building in him and called Leonard to help with the bags, “Come Leonard, these bags aren’t going to carry themselves!” Leonard grabbed the bags and stormed off, “Sam that was not very clever or nice!” Sam looked at John, “Leonard, old man, is nothing of me nor is he my problem therefore I have nothing for him. Liza is blood of my blood, not that misfit!” John could hardly contain his anger, “Newsflash Sam, that misfit is Annette’s boy and Liza’s brother. Don’t you ever try this again, you understand me!” Sam scoffed at John, “She is my daughter old man and talking about that, I want her!” John could not believe the audacity of this idiot, “Sam let’s get one another clearly on the issues: One, you promised Annette to also take care of Leonard. Two, Liza has been signed over to me and Marie legally. You will have to have much more money than you have now to take her from us. Three, if you ever do this again to Leonard, you sir will not see Liza ever again! You understand me!” Sam knew if he did not back off that John was crazy enough to just do what he promised, “Okay, okay, old man! I hear you, but this is not over, you hear me! You and I will meet again in court or in the street, but meet we shall meet on this issue again!”
Leonard could not wait for the fishing trip that weekend, which at least was one thing he did not have to share with his little sister Liza. Just to feel the wind in his hair and to read his dad’s letter was to him the most important part of the trip, “Grandpa? Please don’t forget the letter tomorrow!” John was a little apprehensive, “Marie I hope this is the right thing to do! Hope he understands!” Marie took John’s hand in hers, “It may be rough John, but we will get through it together!”
John and Leonard left for their favourite fishing spot near Barkley West. They arrived at the river and pitched their tent. It only took a few minutes for their lines to be in the water to start fishing, “Leonard you ready for the letter?” Leonard was not sure if he was, but the desire to know who his father was, was bigger that the fear in him, “Yes grandpa! How bad can it be?” John took the letter out of his pocket and gave it to him. Leonard opened the letter as if he was scared that it would bite him or explode in his hands. He started reading......
“Dear Annette,
If you get this letter it means that the God you told me about lives. I still can’t believe that I did what I did to you, the one person in live that loved me just as I am. You see Annette I was fooled by a dark angel and he promised me you if I served him. What I did not know was what price I and ultimately you would have to pay for this acceptance!
He used all the hurt, pain and loneliness in me to hook me. He grew this in me to the point I could not control the darkness any more. When I did these horrible things to you I only felt this hurt, pain and loneliness burning in me and 18 years of abuse and pain I poured out on you. I am so sorry Annette that I did this and if I could I would take all of this back, but I cannot.
I pray that you will find it in you to forgive me for what I have done. I know I am going to hell but I pray that you will not follow me there. This angel I met is a bad angel and a deceiver.
Please, please forgive me!
Dear Uncle John,
All I can say to you and Aunt Marie is thank you for your love and acceptance. I bet you guys hate me for all I have done, but I beg of you to forgive me. I hope that Annette heals. I know I roughed her up badly and that she will be scarred for life, but please find it in your hearts to forgive me. You were like my own mom and dad for the short time I knew you, but this dark angel blinded me so that I could not see the truth. I beg of you to please forgive me and ask that you pray for me. Maybe this will help your God understand.
Then my son,
I bet you are looking at one another right now and asked what the hell? This dark angel called Lucifer told me that you will be born. Please forgive your dad for what he did to mommy. Always treat her well because she is an angel and love her and try to correct the things I did wrong. Uncle John and Aunt Marie please look after him and please do not keep against him what I did wrong.
Praying for forgiveness.
With all my love.
Squeal”
Leonard may have read this letter five times before he looked up at John, “Now I understand why my mom could not love me! I now can understand why she had those scars! I now can understand the dark angel coming to me! Why grandpa did you not show me this letter when my mom was still alive? How come you have never ever told me about my dad? Why?” It was as if in that moment a knife was taken that split Leonard’s spirit and created an alter ego in Leonard. I think in that moment Squeal was reborn as a defined person, with Leonard taking the rap for all his actions.
John did not know what to answer Leonard even though he had answered these questions in his mind a thousand times, “Leonard, I know it is difficult but we, your mom and me, thought it best not to tell you till we decided on that night she passed on that it was time. This is why we are here so you can ask me everything you want to know.” Leonard was confused and angry, “Grandpa this is not fair! Do you know how many nights I cried because my mom did the one or other thing to me again and how I screamed at myself because I could not understand why...? How many nights I woke up screaming because that dark angel came to visit me in my dreams and told me about what happened to my mom and dad! Do you know grandpa how many kids laughed at me because I had no dad! Now for the first time I understand my nickname given to me at school! Do you know how many times I have come to the point where I wanted to kill myself? Do you grandpa! DO YOU!”
John looked at Leonard with tears in his eyes, “Leonard I was there when you woke up screaming my boy! I was there when your mom did those things to you! I was there when you took the 38 special out of my safe and tried to get it loade
d. You think it was an accident I walked in and you hid the gun under your duvet as I said let’s go and do some bass fishing? Leonard I was there my boy, every single step of the way! I still have guilt over my own actions towards you and your mom. Every day I wake up and I have to look at myself in the mirror and see the man that threw away his daughter and grandson. I cry every day and night and beg for forgiveness, but still I have no peace!” Leonard was too angry to listen to John and started running into the hills behind their campsite, “Leonard be careful!” screamed John but Leonard ran until he fell over a rock and lay crying there for a few hours.
Leonard started walking back to camp later that afternoon when he decided to sit on a rock looking out over their campsite. The wind was blowing softly in his face and he could hear the birds singing all around him. He was enjoying the calm that was returning to his body, mind and soul. As he looked down he saw how Grandpa John whom was busy fighting a nice fish, laughed. He could hear the reel screaming as it gave the fish line. He saw a meercat jumping up and down not far from him and decided to go and investigate. As he looked over the rock he saw this little meercat fighting with a big snake. The snake was trying his best to get it’s fangs in the little meercat, but it just was too slow. The meercat would jump away as the snake lunged forward to strike and before the snake could recoil the meercat would bite the snake. After only a few minutes the snake gave up the fight and tried to escape but the meercat would not let him go. It was not long before the meercat killed the snake and dragged it to its den for dinner.
It was as if Leonard identified with this little meercat that had to defend his babies from this big snake, but because it never gave up the fight, it not only beat the snake, but had it for dinner. He ran down to John and grabbed his granddad around the neck, “Grandpa thank you for protecting me from all of the past. I love you for that, but the time now has come for me to beat my snake.” John did not understand the analogy or the thank you, “Leonard I promise not to keep anything from you again my boy and you can ask me anything you want to know. I promise not to lie or withhold anything from you, okay?” Leonard squeezed John and kissed his granddad on his cheek, “I will ask grandpa when I need too, but for now I know what I wanted to!” John did not understand what had just happened, nor did he know what happened in the hill behind their campsite. All he knew was that he was grateful that Leonard took it so well.
Leonard started his Standard 7 and from get go he worked hard. He battled with the spelling and reading and could not handle it when he was called Squeal. One or two times he even got into fights and soon he had the reputation of a street fighter. Boys from other schools would ambush him on his way home in the afternoons just to see if they could beat him up. He sometimes came home with more than just a blue eye and had to take the kid’s backpacks he kept as a trophy back to the owners. John got Leonard involved in sports in an effort to stop the Squeal part of Leonard from surfacing. Leonard played rugby, soccer, martial arts and table tennis. In rugby and soccer he got involved with fights on the field and was left out of the teams. In martial arts he would go to competitions and be disqualified because he was over aggressive. Eventually table tennis was his game because he could beat his opponents into submission without any blood flowing! He became Griqualand West under 17 and 21 champion in his first year of competing.
His little sister was Leonard’s greatest nemeses and he hated her and in the same breath loved her with every single cell in his body. It did not help that Sam would bring her presents and Liza teasing him about not getting anything. Even when Sam promised him a bike if he worked hard, he would not get what was promised to him. Leonard and Liza would fight for hours on end about who was loved most and who was hated most. It got to a point where Leonard met Squeal, his alter ego, in person.
That afternoon Leonard and Liza was fighting about Sam bringing her so many presents when Leonard lost all control and picked Liza up by her throat and pushed her against the wall, “I will kill you, little daddy’s golden girl! I will show you who I am and that you will not mess with me, daddy’s little girl!” He threw her down on the ground and got ready to kick her, “Leonard my boy you do so well!” hissed Lucifer. “Why just kick her? Take everything you can my boy! Rip her clothes off and show her who really is boss, just like your daddy!” Leonard felt the blood in his veins burn with anger, “What must I do?” asked Leonard. “Well let me show you how your dad did it to your mom and then let’s see if you have the guts to follow in his footsteps!”
Lucifer showed Leonard how Squeal punished, abused and raped his mom. He showed him how Squeal took away Annette’s last inch of dignity. At first it was just what the doctor ordered for Leonard and he ripped off Liza’s clothes. He wanted to be like his dad to stop this little bitch from hurting him ever again. As he felt the heat from Liza’s body and heard her screaming, he suddenly saw the meercat and the snake in his mind and realised that the snake was trying to kill his life and that of his sister. He jumped up and ran to his room, “I will not become my father!” Leonard screamed. “You weak little bastard! Your dad was twice the man you will ever be! At least he had the guts to do what I told him to!” Leonard looked at Lucifer in disgust, “My point exactly! I choose not to be like him or to be twice the man he was, because that is pure evil. I saw what you did to my mom and dad. You killed them that night even though their bodies lived on. As I said to you before, never ever will I be what you want me to be! I choose life and I choose God! This is where I make my stand against you like the meercat at my grandpa and my fishing spot. I will dodge you, fight you and beat you at your own game, you snake!” Lucifer grinned, “We will see about that! I will take away from you, your family, your dreams and ultimately your life! Nobody just walks away from me! I will break you just like your father and mother!”
That day Leonard buried Squeal and all his hurt, anger and pain. He walked out of his room a young man on a mission. Poor Leonard may have felt good about himself, but Liza called Grandpa John and Sam to tell them what happened. She told her dad and grandpa the truth but added a little extra flavour to set Leonard up for what could only be called a hiding of a lifetime. Sam was first to arrive at the home and grabbed Leonard, beating him with his fist. It was as if Sam saw Annette before him the day he beat her senseless, by beating Leonard the way he beat her.
Leonard would stand up as the fists came pounding, when Leonard fell to the floor Sam would kick him. How Leonard got the strength to defend himself nobody knew, but as Sam came in to kick him in the face, Leonard jumped up and hit Sam between the legs. The pain shot through Sam and he fell down to his knees. This was Leonard’s opportunity and he grabbed his cricket bat and hit Sam on the head. Sam passed out from the pain and Leonard jumped all over him like the meercat he saw on the fishing trip. “Not so tough now, hey Sam! I am not my mom, grandma or grandpa who you can intimidate and abuse!” John had to pull Leonard off Sam to stop Leonard from killing him, “Leonard enough now! What happened?” Leonard told John everything, how he nearly hit Liza and tore her clothes off her body.
He told John about the visions he had about how to act just like his dad Squeal. He told him how Sam came in and started hitting and kicking him and that he just defended himself. If John did not remember how Annette looked in the hospital after Squeal beat her up, he would not have believed Leonard, but every detail was exactly as he remembered. “Leonard let’s get you cleaned up!” John said as he walked Leonard to the bathroom.
After Leonard was cleaned up he walked over to Liza’s room with John, “Liza, I am sorry for hurting you sis! I lost it a bit and did not mean to hurt or scare you! Sorry!” Liza felt like a queen having Leonard beg her for forgiveness, “Hope my daddy beat you good and proper!” Leonard just smiled, “Sorry again little sis, but your daddy is still out cold in my room. Grandpa and I are on our way to help him!” It was at that moment when John realised that Leonard’s eyes did not turn to the blue and green it always got when he got angry. “Leonard your
eyes did not turn! Looks like Squeal stayed away!” Leonard looked proud, “Grandpa I buried him today! He will never ever come visit me again!” Sam woke up after Leonard poured a glass of cold water over his head, “Keep that demon away from me, you hear me!” shouted Sam. John could not help but laugh, “You see Sam, he can help himself, as I learned many years ago! He is no push over! Go get yourself cleaned and then go home. O and if you think of coming to get Liza, just remember my friends in the police knows you and about what happened here today! The only bad thing for you is they now know that Leonard beat you up as well!”
It was in the last quarter of the year that Inspect Venter, now station commander of the Kimberley Police Station, came to visit Leonard and John, “Leonard I know about your incident with your little sister and would like to go and show you a few things if that is okay with your grandpa.” John smiled because this was arranged by him and Marie to teach Leonard a lesson in what happens to people who are abused and to the people who abuse them. They knew that it would shake Leonard to the core, but did not expect him to take up this crusade to fight this scourge during his lifetime.
Commander Venter took him to the hospital and showed Leonard how the girls, boys and moms looked when they were beaten up. He took him to the Kimberley prison and showed him the men that did this to the girls, boys and moms and how they were locked away. Leonard enjoyed the trip so much that when they sat and drank a milkshake after the day out he could not help but ask, “Commander? How can I become part of stopping this abuse?” Commander Venter looked at this young man, “What do you mean Leonard?” “I want to help stop what happened to my mom and all these other people we saw today. How can I help?” Commander Venter smiled, “Well Leonard you can become a reservist and help us in that way. You are still too young now, but next year when you turn 16 we can make a plan, okay!” Leonard was very pleased.
Commander Venter dropped Leonard at his house after the milkshake, “Thank you Leonard for coming with me today! Hope you have learned something from me!” Leonard waved to the commander, “Yes sir, I learned a lot. See you next year sir!” Leonard ran into the house and told John and Marie everything he saw and how he felt so sorry for the people.
The trip to the hospital gave Leonard an idea to go visit the kids that got hurt and take a rose to their moms who lay crying in their rooms after school. He just gave them the rose and kissed their hand and left without saying one word. He did not want to bother them, but soon he was called the Rose Angel that came to visit the beaten, abused and trampled on people.
He sometimes would still be ambushed in fights, but like the meercat he used his speed and ability to ride his bike to avoid fighting the other boys. They could not catch him on his bike and when they managed to catch up with him, they got tired of trying to hit him because he could bob and weave like Charlie Weir, his boxing hero. Leonard passed his Standard 7 with the seat of his pants still hanging on the fence, but he could not wait for Standard 8. He started Standard 8, working less at his school projects and harder at the hospital to help his friend who got abused.
He played table tennis and won a medal at the South African championships which made him an instant celebrity in Kimberley. His little sister and he became real good friends after a boy tried to bully her and Leonard stepped in to protect her; needless to say Liza learned that a big brother has his benefits.
They even sometimes slipped school to go and drink milkshake at the Horseshoe Motel and sometimes Liza also went to hospital with Leonard to help her big brother hand out roses they picked in the municipality gardens.
Marie and John visited Doctor Mustard for their annual checkups, when they heard about Leonard the Rose Angel, “Morning John and Marie! Good to see you two again. How are things this morning?” John and Marie smiled, “Very well Doc. Leonard is battling at school as normal and Liza is getting all A’s.” Doctor Mustard smiled, “Well I am not surprised Leonard is battling! He is at the hospital everyday handing out roses to the girls, boys and moms that got abused by their parents, husbands and family. He has the name of Rose Angle that heals the hurt.” John and Marie could not believe their ears, “Say what Doc?” “Yes, every afternoon he clocks in at three o’ clock and hands out roses. He apparently steels it from the municipal gardens. He has quite the reputation you know. You know what is funny, the people he visits healed faster and better, as if he restored their hope in the future. He is truly a blessing to us and our patients. I hear he is also now a reservist, is that true?”
John smiled, “Yes it’s true, but as you said, no wonder his school work suffers!” After John and Marie completed the tests and six monthly assessments they decided to go and see for themselves. They arrived just as Leonard walked into the hospital with an arm full of roses. They stalked him and after he delivered the roses to one ward, would go and greet the people who were either smiling about the rose or crying because of this kind gesture from this young man. As they walked around the last corner Leonard came out of the room, “Grandpa? Grandma? What are you doing here?” John at first wanted to sound angry but could not get himself to do so, “So my boy, this is what you do instead of doing your school work! Don’t you think school comes first?” Leonard looked like a little rabbit in a cage, “Yes grandpa I guess! But these people need me more than my books!” Marie smiled, “It is true my boy, but your future counts as well. Finish with your rounds, we will see you at home, I just may have a plan that will work for both your school work and your friends.”
John and Leonard looked confused, but did not dare to ask what the plan was. Leonard arrived home and walked to his room, “Leonard we have a meeting, remember?” called Marie. Leonard walked in as Marie, John and Pastor Pieter sat around the table chatting, “Leonard, Grandpa and I spoke to Pastor Pieter and low and behold he has heard about the Rose Angel. He never knew who it was, but he wants you to become part of their outreach to these families after they go home as well. The church will help with the flowers so you don’t have to steal them anymore and they will call you if someone has been submitted to the hospital. This will give you more time to study as you will not have to go and check every day. You will also then help the people you love so much over weekends as part of your reservist duties. How does that sound?”
Leonard could hardly contain his joy, “Yes, yes I will do that! Yippee!” “Leonard, one catch though, you need to lift your school marks, okay?” Leonard jumped up and down as he screamed, “Yes grandma yes! I am so glad, yippee!” Leonard could not believe how things were working out for him. He passed his Standard 8 and had a kind mathematics teacher who helped him with two points so he would pass mathematics by 33,3%. Grandma Marie and Grandpa John looked at the report and saw the pass, “Leonard, looks like you passed, but this my boy is not our deal. You need to improve your marks or we will have to stop everything!” Leonard felt bad about his report and not doing as well as his grandparents expected him to do, “Grandma, Grandpa I am so sorry. I lost so much in the year before our deal that it was almost impossible to catch up. I promise my marks will improve.” John and Marie smiled, “Okay my boy, next year we will all work hard, okay? Next year, no excuses and only hard work, okay?” Leonard nodded, “Yes Grandma and thank you for not screaming at me!”
It was just before Christmas that year that Doctor Mustard called Marie after he received back the test results, “Marie you need to come and see me please.” Marie could not think what it could be about, but got in the car and drove to the doctor’s rooms, “Afternoon Doc, what’s wrong?” Marie was thinking that Leonard may have made a nuisance of himself at the hospital, “Marie, I have received your results back and you know I do cancer markers with every test. We have found some abnormalities in your blood and I need to retest you to make sure of the results. It is just a formality and I am sure there are no problems.” “Okay Doc, no problem”, she said, putting her arm in place for the sample.
It was three days later that Doctor Mustard phoned, “Marie the tests are
clear, no problem.” Marie was relieved with the news, “Thank you Doc, told you so!” What Marie and Doctor Mustard did not know was that the lab technician got the blood confused and that Marie was on her way to becoming very ill. Leonard on the other hand, was flourishing in his new life and enjoyed every second of helping people. He helped at the hospital to ease the pain, take the statements and help arrest the people who caused the pain.
Leonard though, had this little nagging concern about Grandma Marie. He did not forget the threat of Lucifer. He kept on nagging Marie to go to the doctor for more tests to make sure she was fine. He would sit next to her in the early mornings while she was sleeping and pray over her, but that feeling did not go away.
Leonard was called out one night to hospital for another abused woman that was brought into hospital. As he walked in, his heart broke into a million pieces. The woman in front of him was his Aunt Jillian. Jan got upset after drinking again, because Jillian refused to become pregnant. They saw a marriage councillor, but nothing helped Jillian get past her son who was killed so many years ago. She did not want a new child to go through the same fate as John, her first child. What no one knew was that Jan was hitting her for years now and threatened to kill her if she told anybody. Leonard walked in as Jillian laid in her bed with her eyes swollen shut and the pain written on her face and body, “Hey mom, Leonard here. Don’t worry you are safe with me. Jan will never ever touch you again, I promise. He kissed her softly on her forehead and put a red rose next to her on the hospital bed. Leonard picked up the phone at the reception, “Commander Venter! I know who beat Jillian, the new hospital intake. Can we pick him up?” Commander Venter could not believe how professional Leonard sounded, “Leonard wait for me, I want to see this!”
Commander Venter arrived ten minutes later and drove off to Jillian’s house. Leonard walked in as Jan walked out of the bathroom after a shower, “What are you doing here you little waste of human skin?” Leonard smiled, “Jan I am placing you under arrest for the assault and battery of your wife Jillian. Just before you get any ideas I am not the Leonard you used to bully in school, just remember that before you act now.” Commander Venter smiled as Jan came forward, “O yes you little piece of shit! I should have done this many years ago! I am going to beat the white off your skin as I did with your so called mommy Jillian.” As Jan stepped in to hit Leonard, his fist was blocked and Leonard ripped off his towel. The next Jan would not forget as long as he lived. Leonard wrapped the towel around his neck and pulled him towards him and with his head Leonard head bud Jan on his nose, breaking it in several places. Jan crumbled to the floor, “You broke my nose you bastard!” Leonard looked at him, “Not so easy when it is a man you need to hit, is it Jan! Now get dressed, we don’t have all night and I want to get back to my mom Jillian!”
Jan stumbled to the bedroom to dress. Leonard walked outside with Commander Venter, “Wow Leonard you have a knack for breaking noses it would seem.” Leonard and the commander stood laughing when they heard a gunshot. They ran into the house and in the bedroom, on the bed, lay Jan in his nakedness with his brains splattered all over the room. A little note next to him told the story of a man that could not face his future. He asked for forgiveness in his letter and then put the gun to his head and ended it all.
Leonard and Commander Venter were shocked at the outcome of that evening, but could not discuss this tragedy because the next case came blurting over the radio as they were dispatched to another crime scene. As they drove over, Commander Venter looked over to Leonard, “Leonard don’t worry about the mess, I will send a cleaning team tomorrow on police costs to clean everything in Jillian’s house, okay. I know Jillian is somebody close to you and you need to get her through this and not worry about anything else.” “Thank you commander! My mom and I appreciate all that you will be doing for us!”
Commander Venter dropped Leonard at the hospital where John and Marie was waiting for him, “How is Jillian, Leonard? Where is Jan now?” Leonard took them to Jillian’s room, “Grandpa, Grandma, Jan shot himself before we could stop him. Jillian is in a world of hurt, but will survive. Can I ask you if she could move back into the flat in the back with us? She has a job and everything she needs, but her house will never be the same. Please?” John and Marie could not refuse and without even thinking, agreed to their adopted daughter moving back. It was only two days before Jillian could start seeing through her swollen eye, “Hey there mom, Leonard here.” Jillian grabbed on to Leonard’s arm, “I am so sorry my boy for what Jan did to you. I knew about it, but he would hit me so bad if I threatened to go to your granddad! Please forgive me!” Leonard smiled, “Mom it is okay, don’t worry, all is forgiven. Grandma and I have taken the liberty to move all your stuff back into your flat at the back. Just one thing though, Jan shot himself when I arrested him. Sorry!” Jillian grinned through her swollen lips, “Go figure, just like he was, could never face the consequences of his actions. Thank you my baby boy!”
Jillian moved back into the flat in the back of the yard and sold the house with all the furniture, just two weeks after they buried Jan. Life was good for a few months and Jillian got involved more and more in Leonard’s life as the Rose Angel. Leonard passed his Standard 9 with good marks with his average above 60%. His work in the hospital became more intensive and the people he helped became more and more. His matric year was a year filled with fun and a matric farewell. Unfortunately he had to cancel the dance due to some woman that got beaten by her husband and gang raped by his friends. Leonard could not understand how a man could do this to his wife. Leonard worked hard at his matric and finally completed the year end exams. It was now a waiting game for the final results in December 1987.
Leonard kept on nagging Marie to go to the doctor until one day she fainted walking down the hall to deliver a rose to some woman who was beaten into Intensive Care by her husband. Doctor Mustard phoned John, “John can you come in? Marie just fainted and I want to operate. She is complaining of stomach pain and I can’t find the reason. I need your permission to go on.” “Okay Doc you have permission to go on and when I am there I will sign the release forms. I will bring Marie her hospital suitcase as well as Leonard and Liza. Marie would like to see them when she wakes up.” John called Leonard and Liza and told them to be ready when he got home.
They arrived at the hospital as a waiting Doctor Mustard called John in, “John I don’t know how to tell you this, but Marie has got cancer. The swelling of her stomach was not fat as she used to joke. The swelling was actually fluid collecting in her stomach cavity. The cancer has spread through her whole body, John.” John had to support himself on the desk in Doctor Mustard’s rooms, “How Doc? My angel dying? You lie Doc, it can’t be!”
Doctor Mustard could not control his emotions, “John, I picked this up a year or two ago in the cancer marker test we ran. I called Marie to draw some more blood to make sure the test results were correct. It came back negative so I thought there was a problem with possible contamination of the first test. The second test was confused with someone else’s, it seems as though that is the only explanation on how we got a different result.” John sat down as the pain shot through his body, “Tell me we have some time left together. I cannot live without her Doc! Please tell me we have lots of time left!”
John’s eyes pleaded with Doctor Mustard, “John I cannot lie to you my friend. Time is limited and with the cancer now exposed to air, it will grow even faster. How long I just don’t know!” Leonard came walking into the room, “Grandpa what’s wrong? Grandma okay?” John looked up at Leonard with his ice blue eyes swimming in the tears, “My boy I think grandma will be in heaven soon. I cannot believe she will be passing on one of these days. Leonard can you tell me why her and not me?”
Leonard looked at his granddad trying to be brave, “Grandpa, Grandma always told me that when someone dies it is like a beautiful rose in a garden. The gardener only picks the flower when it is at its best and ready. I don’t know why or
the reason behind it Grandpa, but maybe it is her time to be picked.” Leonard tried to explain as good as he could, but nothing made sense to him at that moment. All the Bible reading and praying could not answer him that question or take away his guilt for not accepting the deal he was made by the dark angel.
Marie was sent home the next day with a nurse by her side to make her as comfortable as possible for her last few days. Leonard sat next to his grandma’s bed and held her hand while he read out of the Bible. He prayed for Marie and his granddad, for God to intervene and heal his grandma and save their family.
It was fourteen days after Marie was sent home and the stench of death hung in the air when Marie opened her eyes, “Hey my boy! Where are Liza and grandpa?” Leonard jumped up, “Grandma your awake! God does listen to me! I will call them for you now, o yes thank you God for giving grandma back to us!” Leonard ran to call John and Liza, “John its time my love! Thank you for being my husband for all this time, putting up with all of me! Never forget, my bear, that you are the love of my life!”
John took Marie's hand in his, “My baby what am I going to do without you? You have given me so much and the love you had for Leonard and me changed my world! I love you my baby!” Marie looked at Liza with the life draining from her eyes, “My baby girl grandma love you and when you feel alone look at the stars I am the one next to your mommy!” Liza could not answer Marie and cried, clinging to John as if her life depended on it.
“Leonard my boy, I’ve loved you from the start. God showed me where you are heading and believe me, it is glorious. Please always remember that God is there for you every day and even if people hurt you or disappoint you, he will carry you. Love you my boy! Please will you read Psalm 23 to me?” Leonard looked at this old woman in front of him, “Grandma I am sorry for this! This is my fault you are dying! The Dark Angel told me he’s going to do this but I fought him and chased him away, now look at you Grandma! I am so, so sorry!” Marie smiled, “My boy, don’t listen to his lies! That Dark Angel is a liar and a thief, never ever believe him, because he will do everything to kill your future! He came to me a few times and I refused to listen to him as well. I almost believed him, but through it all the Word of God in me told me the truth. Always remember that if in doubt, just read, the answers are all there in the Bible. Now please read to me my promise from my heavenly Father!” Leonard stood there and opened his Bible at Psalm 23, “I love you Grandma till we meet again!”
He started reading with the sorrow etched in his voice, “The Lord is my Sheppard I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Amen”
Marie’s eyes opened as she looked at her family, “Thank you Lord for keeping your promises to me over the years. Thank you for my family and now Father, I leave them in your hands. Protect them and keep them till we meet again!” With her last breath in her body she smiled, “Here I am my Father, I am home, Amen”
Marie closed her eyes and blew out her last breath with a smile and peace that was framed on her face that only God can give.
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