by Sarah Banks
Kate herself was exhausted. It was a miracle that she was still standing upright. She didn’t know what she was going to do but she knew she couldn’t leave those children. It was no accident that she was sitting beside Mary on that train. She was meant to be there. She was meant to take care of these children. She hadn’t allowed herself to think much about David and if he would be willing to take on another man’s children. The few moments she allowed herself to think about it, she filled with dread, because she knew not many men would. It wasn’t until he refused to marry her and she felt her heart sink that she realized she had been secretly hoping it would be different. That he would still want to marry her despite the change in her circumstances.
She wouldn’t cry. Even though they had just met in person she felt like she knew him through their correspondence. They had planned their future together. She wanted to marry him but not at the expense of the children because she knew if she did that, she would always regret it. She had hoped she would be able to marry him and keep the children, but David had taken that option off the table. He hadn’t even really seemed to consider it. So that left her with one choice or the other, and as much as she wanted to marry David, she chose the children. They needed her. So she wouldn’t be getting married tomorrow as planned.
Kate felt like her heart was breaking. She had such high hopes for her future as David’s mail order bride. Now she would need to figure something else out. But not now. Now she had to find lodging, food and a bed before she collapsed.
She met his eyes with a nod and gave him a sad smile. “I understand David. I am sorry.”
“So am I.”
When he turned to walk away, she stared after him in shock. Was he truly leaving her here all alone, just like that? A few more steps and she figured it was safe to assume, yes, he was. She had left the only life she had ever known, traveled over fifteen hundred miles to marry him and not only was he refusing to marry her, he was leaving her all alone in a strange place.
“David!”
He turned, a wary look in his eyes as she walked toward him. “Can you direct me to a boardinghouse at least? I don’t have much money, but we’ll need somewhere to stay, at least until we figure things out.”
He thought for a moment and finally nodded. “I know of a place.”
She gave him a grateful smile and collected the children who hadn’t been playing at all but rather watching the pair of adults in solemn silence from underneath the shade of a nearby oak tree.
They followed behind him back to the center of town, which the size of Noah, didn’t take very long at all. Olive was at her hip again and it took all of Kate’s strength and concentration to hold her and follow behind David. Lee of course, refused to hold Kate’s hand but stayed close. The train was getting ready to depart again. Their luggage was set neatly aside and when she pointed it out, David collected it and they continued walking.
He didn’t say where they were going but she trusted him. Three turns away from the train station and they arrived at a building that didn’t look like a boardinghouse at all but rather someone’s actual house. Surely not his, she thought. She didn’t think after his refusal to marry her and almost leaving without saying goodbye that he would bring her to his own home.
She and Lee climbed the half dozen stairs to the front porch and stood behind David, waiting as he knocked. It wasn’t long before the door swung open and an older woman Kate guessed to be in her fifties greeted David with a smile. There was no likeness between them that Kate could discern but she sensed there was a familial connection. Unconditional love shone in the older woman’s eyes. This must be his Aunt Susan. He had mentioned her in his letters. His words read very fondly of her and was one of the reasons she felt their relationship would work, the obvious love he had for his only remaining family member, the aunt who raised him.
An apron was tied around her waist and a dish towel at her hip she cocked her head, “Since when do you knock?” She asked David with a laugh.
“Since I brought company,” he replied, stepping aside.
“Oh!” The woman exclaimed, her hands immediately going to her hair, patting the wisps escaping her loose bun. “I didn’t see you there.” Her eyes scanned the three of them before returning to David. “Is this your bride? You didn’t tell me she had children!”
Kate stepped forward before David could answer. “It’s kind of a long story,” she said, repeating the same words she told David on the train platform.
“Well, I’ve got nothing but time. Come inside and tell me all about it. Have you had lunch?”
Kate shook her head. “Not yet.”
“Well lucky for you I have a nice ham ready to be carved up for sandwiches. And fresh baked cookies. Do you like cookies?” She asked Lee.
Lee reluctantly nodded.
“And what about you?” She asked Olive, who tucked her head more shyly against Kate’s neck.
The woman laughed and stepped aside, waving them into the house. It wasn’t until they settled down around the kitchen table that Kate realized David wasn’t with them. She looked over her shoulder and saw their luggage neatly stacked near the closed front door. He had left her again. And just like the first time he hadn’t even bothered to say goodbye.
∞∞∞
“You poor, poor dears,” Mrs. Harvey, rather Susan, as she insisted being called, said after Kate explained most everything she could in front of the children as they ate lunch. Before she had explained about Mary and the children, she had learned that Susan was indeed David’s aunt who had raised him since he was a boy.
Olive had eaten and subsequently fallen asleep on Kate’s lap. Lee was eating yet another cookie in the chair beside her. She had lost track of how many he’d eaten after he finished a sandwich large enough to feed a grown man but at least he was eating. He hadn’t eaten much since his mother had died and even though it had only been a few days it seemed as if his clothes were hanging more loosely on his frame than before. Kate fought the motherly urge to reach over and wipe away his milk mustache with a napkin. His head was beginning to bob and she wondered if the next time she looked at him if he’d be asleep on his plate.
Susan suggested the children lay down in a small, spare bedroom just off the living room and Kate was surprised when Lee didn’t put up a fuss. Once the children were settled beside each other on the bed, sharing a pillow, with a cover pulled over them, Kate leaned over and pressed a kiss to each of their foreheads. Lee was too tired to resist her display of affection and was asleep before she left the room. She left the door open a crack and joined Susan at the table for a second cup of coffee.
“You look like you could use a nap yourself,” Susan noted, refilling both of their cups with hot coffee and sliding the cream and sugar closer to Kate.
Kate gave her a tired smile and added a generous amount of both to her cup before bringing it to her lips. The caffeine and sugar should help her make it to a more appropriate bedtime. Besides, she had yet to find a place where she and the children could stay. She wasn’t sure why David had brought them here. Did he intend for them to stay with his aunt? Without even asking Kate yet alone consulting Susan? Kate sighed inwardly. She didn’t blame him for choosing not to marry her but she found herself beginning to get a little upset with him over his lack of communication. Why did he bring them here? She wanted to ask him but couldn’t because twice now, in a span of thirty minutes no less, he had left without saying goodbye.
“I wonder what’s keeping David. Do you know where he went?” Susan asked, glancing out the window.
“No, I don’t,” Kate answered honestly. She tried not to cringe. She was pretty sure David wasn’t going to reappear. Had he left her to explain to his aunt that they wouldn’t be getting married after all?
“Well, he is a man of few words as you’ll soon learn. But don’t let that discourage you. He’s a wonderful boy, so kind and considerate and hardworking. But I can’t take all the credit. His mother, my sister, didn’t pass u
ntil he was almost nine years old. His father passed three years before that. I raised him by myself after my sister died. I lost my beloved husband a few years before that, not two years into our marriage. We weren’t blessed with children, but David is like a son to me. A light in the darkness.”
“I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband and sister,” Kate said, seeing a mix of both love and pain in the woman’s eyes, even after all these years.
“Yes well, that’s the way of things now, isn’t it? It’s hard to turn anywhere and not find someone with an equally tragic tale. But there’s so much beauty in life as well. I treasure those two years with my husband, all those years with my sister and of course, the years raising David.”
Kate nodded.
“It’s a great thing you’re doing, taking those children under your wing. You’ll be a wonderful mother to them.”
“Thank you,” Kate said, her heart squeezing and tears pricking the back of her eyes. She swallowed. “That’s very kind of you to say.”
Susan reached over and squeezed her hand.
“I hope you don’t mind if I come to you with questions since you’ve been in a similar situation yourself. I know next to nothing about mothering,” Kate told her. Although Kate had a wonderful mother growing up and had always wanted to be a mother herself, that was different than actually being responsible for two children in a span of a heartbeat.
“Of course I don’t mind. In fact, I’d love it. I’m to be a grandma,” she exclaimed happily.
Kate felt her smile disappear from her face. “Until we leave town that is,” she said gently.
Susan had been raising her cup to her lips but stopped halfway before it clattered back to the saucer. “What do you mean? Are you and David moving away?”
“No. I just mean me and the children. David and I won’t be getting married.”
“What? Why!” Susan’s face was masked in confusion, disappointment filling her voice.
Kate hated that she was the cause of the woman’s distress. “He didn’t want to be responsible for raising another man’s children and I understand, truly I do,” Kate tried to assure her. “I asked him to take me to a boardinghouse until I could decide what to do next and he brought me here.”
Susan’s mouth worked for a moment before she said, “Of course you can stay here until you figure out what to do.”
“Are you absolutely sure? I don’t want to impose. Three people—”
“Of course I’m sure! Besides you haven’t asked, I offered. Stay as long as you like. My home has been empty too long.”
Kate felt her shoulders slump with relief. “Thank you,” she said gratefully. She had been worried about finding a place to stay let alone if they could afford it or even a return trip back east on her meager funds. Not that there was any place for her to return to. She was at a loss of how to proceed. What was she going to do? She wanted to bury her face in her hands and have a good cry. But crying didn’t solve anything. And it didn’t matter how exhausted she was, physically and mentally. She needed to come up with a plan right away because it wasn’t just her anymore, she had two children that depended on her. She wasn’t going to let them down.
“He’s a heel for rejecting you because of,” Susan said in a low voice, waving her hand in the direction of the bedroom where the children were sleeping. “I raised him better than that.”
“I don’t hold it against him,” Kate said truthfully. “It’s a lot to ask of someone, especially so suddenly.”
Susan gave her a look that said she didn’t quite agree and asked, “Do you know what you’re going to do?”
Kate’s shoulders sagged and she blew out a long sigh. “I have no idea.”
Susan bit her lip and was silent for a moment before she announced excitedly, “I do!”
“You do?”
“Yes! We’ll find you another husband!”
Chapter Three
They held a small funeral for Mary just two days later. There were only a small number of people in attendance: Kate and the children, Susan, Reverend Smith and his wife and a few older women from the congregation. Kate hadn’t seen David since he left them at his aunt’s house two days ago.
Susan was a treasure. During the past two days, Kate had caught up on some much-needed sleep, washed all of her clothing along with the children’s and met with the Reverend to plan a simple funeral while Susan helped with the children. Kate tried not to think about the day when they would all have to leave her. But for the moment, it was nice not having to feel so alone.
Lee still didn’t talk much but he ate his weight in food daily. Susan wouldn’t let Kate help with any of the cooking, insisting it was one of her favorite things to do and other than Sunday supper, she didn’t do nearly as much cooking as she liked anymore. So instead Kate insisted on cleaning up after each meal. They fell into a routine of sorts. Susan had retrieved a crate of David’s old books from the attic and in the evenings read to Lee and Olive while Kate did the dishes. Afterwards Kate would put Olive to bed and then the three of them played cards until Lee’s eyelids started to grow heavy. Then Kate tucked him into bed with his sister before falling into her own bed.
Each night Kate lay in bed for hours until she fell into an exhausted slumber. She couldn’t help but think about David and wondered if she would ever see him again. She thought about all they had shared in their letters. She wanted to know what he was thinking and doing. Was he hurt or angry with how things had ended between them? She knew her own heart ached. He was living alone in the house he built for them to share together. She remembered his proud descriptions of the house he had built and the rough sketches he had included with one of his letters. In those weeks since accepting his proposal, day and night she had dreamt of living in that house with him, decorating it to her taste, cooking his meals, working in the garden, sharing his bed and someday their children running around. She tried not to think about that now, although it was more difficult to resist as she lay in bed at night. At least during the day she could distract herself with all the things that needed to be done.
Despite Susan’s declaration that they would find her someone else to marry, Kate still didn’t know what she would do. But she was grateful for the reprieve that staying with Susan and having her help with the children offered.
Since she was staying with his aunt and had no immediate plans to leave, Kate figured it was just a matter of time before she and David would cross paths and the thought filled her stomach with butterflies. She shouldn’t want to see him again, it would only make it harder when she finally had to leave, but she still did.
The day of the funeral, nothing but Mary and her children consumed her thoughts. Kate was fairly sure Olive didn’t quite understand what was taking place but she knew Lee did, and she couldn’t help but look at him with concern several times throughout the short service. Only when it was time to throw dirt onto the casket did she realize he was missing.
∞∞∞
David made an unexpected trip to town for supplies late one morning. He told himself that it wasn’t an excuse to catch a glimpse of Kate. He really did need the plow part although he wasn’t sure why he was bothering to plow the garden plot now anyway. He didn’t have time to maintain a garden and now that he wasn’t getting married to Kate, there would be no one to tend to it anyway. The trip could have waited until Sunday when he went into town for supper at his aunt’s as he did every Sunday or the following week when he returned to work. Despite driving past his aunt’s house to and from the mercantile, he didn’t see any sign of Kate and he supposed that was for the best.
He was more than a little surprised on the return trip home when he came upon a lone boy wandering down the center of the road nearly two miles outside of town, seemingly oblivious to the wagon coming up behind him. Only when David was about to pull the wagon to a stop, any closer and he’d mow the boy over, did the boy finally look over his shoulder, notice him and move off to the side of the road.
&n
bsp; David recognized the boy instantly but couldn’t remember his name, not quite sure he had ever heard it. No doubt an oversight on Kate’s part during the tumult of their arrival and hurried exit from the train station. No more than thirty minutes had passed between meeting her, telling her he wouldn’t marry her and delivering her to his aunt’s house. He pushed those thoughts aside before pulling up beside him and setting the brake. He tipped back his hat and asked, “Where you headed?”
The boy shrugged, his hands buried deep in his pockets. He only briefly made eye contact with David before looking back at the ground and kicking at a pebble, only managing to stir up dust and bury the small rock deeper into the dirt. The kid seemed to take no notice of his surroundings despite it being the nicest weather they had in some time and the prettiest landscape David had ever seen. He figured that the boy was heading in no particular direction and had been for some time. He very much doubted Kate knew of the boy’s whereabouts and she must be frantic by now. He’d take him back to Kate. It would be a chance to see her again.
“Me, I’m going fishing,” David told him. He had to stop by his house first to collect his pole but the best fishing hole around these parts happened to be on his property and was only a ten-minute walk out his back door.
The boy looked up, his eyes wide with interest.
“You fish?” David asked.
The boy shook his head.
“You interested in learning how?”
He nodded.
“Can you talk?”
The boy instinctively opened his mouth to reply, but then closed it, a stubborn tilt to his chin.
David tried not to smile, instead lifted his hat and scrubbed at his hair which was overdue for a cut and said, “It occurs to me that I’ve never actually heard you speak and that maybe you can’t. Can you?”
