Kira gave her a confused look while Vexxus still shook her hand.
“My crew and I would love to have a radiant fae on our side. Maybe you’d consider joining our little operation?” she asked shrewdly. “After all, as a scientist, I’m sure you’d probably take an interest in—”
“Hands off, Vex.” Ryder cut in, stepping between them.
Vexxus looked up at him with a frown, then shrugged, stepping back to what she was doing.
“I’m not sure exactly what the offer was, but no thank you. Though, I appreciate the sentiment,” Kira said as Vex walked away.
“Eh, I gave it a shot,” Vex said halfheartedly. “I can tell you’re a lot more interested in this guy anyway.” She took another handful of what looked like chocolate-covered peanuts and munched as she worked.
“We’re partners,” Kira said. “So I guess so.”
“Anyway, tell your friend to stop showing up in my dreams like a total creep.” UV jabbed a finger at Ryder.
“You mean Landon? He’s in your dreams? What does that mean?” Ryder replied, genuinely confused.
UV seemed to blush barely for a moment as she realized Ryder had no clue what she was saying, then glanced to the side, waving a hand dismissively. “I… Never mind. You wouldn’t get it. It’s above your pay grade.”
“Rude,” Ryder muttered.
Kira smiled. “So what are you looking for?”
“Just… something.” Vex scrounged through another box. She glanced at Kira. “How’s life with 2.0?”
“2.0?” Ryder asked.
“You,” Vex said flatly. “You didn’t know that?”
He shook his head. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. My name is Ryder.”
“Now it is, but it used to be DFH 2.0. Look here.” She picked up a glass pad and handed it to him. “Most of the stuff here is about the dragon-fae hybrid project, which is annoying because it’s not what I was looking for. Interesting but not what I’m looking for.”
DFH. Dragon-fae hybrid.
DFH 2.0.
Ryder’s mind flashed with a bright light, making his brain hurt as the recollection of something distant yet very near put him on edge.
Kira gave him a worried glance, but Ryder waved it away as UV handed over several more data pads to Kira. “Here, have these. I don’t want ‘em.”
Kira seemed surprised and a little shocked. “I assumed all the records of Ryder’s existence were destroyed with the lab he was in.”
“When Dallin rescued him, yes. That unruly dragon going behind my back and not telling me.”
Ryder still remembered that day because it was the farthest his memory went. Seeing Dallin and the hollowed-out lab he’d utterly destroyed.
“It looks like they brought copies here,” Vex said.
But for Ryder, everything was starting to move slowly like he was suddenly underwater. Everyone else felt so far away.
Ryder looked down at the pad, touching a hand to it, and it lit up with words.
An intense feeling of dread washed over him. After all, whoever had created him, made him the monster he was, had written this. Had studied and prodded and pumped him full of hell knew what until he didn’t even recognize himself anymore.
“I mean, it was a perfect combo,” Vex said somewhere in the distance. “Green fae, onyx dragon, plus the other…” Her voice and Kira’s answer drifted farther away as Ryder stared at the words that were moving on the page like bugs.
Final DFH 2.0 Evaluation: Status Report
As badly as his eyes wanted to look away, Ryder stared and stared until the words came back into sharp relief, readable again.
We’ve quadrupled the chaos injections received this week, per orders. However, without the radiant fae present, we’ve kept 2.0 under heavy sedation. Consider transferring subject back to the main lab since we’re running low on immobilizers.
There was a reply beneath.
Radiant fae supervision will be underway shortly, which should keep the subject in check. Due to recent events, you’ll need to hold out a little longer.
Radiant fae supervision?
An image of Kira standing in front of his cell, staring at him, shot through his mind.
That wasn’t possible…
Ryder went down farther until he saw what looked like official transfer orders with a list of people who had run the DFH project.
But even though the words were beginning to blur again, he saw one name a few down from the top.
Head Supervisor Overseeing Chaos Containment: Kira
It seemed otherworldly to see her name there.
After all, she’d tried to tell him there were things he should know about them back then.
She’d tried to bring up the past with him.
That guilty look in her eyes when they first started working together… It had to be because she’d known him back then.
But even if he’d entertained that possibility, he’d always just thought of her as some kind of helper shuttled back and forth, forced to act at the whims of the fae as she tried to help other shifters.
He hadn’t ever thought she’d been a supervisor… or that she’d overseen his chaos injections.
More images flashed through his mind.
A white cell, only ten feet wide. Bright lights. A heavy metal table with dozens of thick straps.
His entire body began shaking, just remembering it. Damn, he’d thought his memories had died in the blast when he’d escaped.
He vaguely heard Kira’s voice behind him. “Ryder? Ryder?” Then her hand was on his arm, and suddenly, he was back in the big, hollow space of the fae facility. As it came into focus, Kira’s expression was worried. “You okay?”
“He doesn’t look okay,” UV added, arms folded, eyebrow raised.
“I’m… What was I doing?” How long had he been standing there?
Ryder looked down at the pane of glass in his hand, and suddenly, a powerful, wrenching force shook his heart. He dropped the thing, ignoring it as it clattered to the ground.
Scales shifted up his arms, turning them bright green, glistening with a metallic sheen as he stepped back, uncertain what was going on.
It was as if the past and present were blurring together, stressing him enough to force a shift.
Suddenly, Kira’s expression went resolute as she came up to him and grabbed his shirt, holding him before he fell backward over a box he hadn’t seen behind him. She immediately put her other hand over his heart, and a bright-pink glow emanated from her palm, soaking into his skin with a cool warmth that immediately calmed his senses.
“What’s happening?” Ryder asked, the pain and confusion abating for a moment.
“Just a surge of chaos. This place must have set something off in you. Just hold on.” She was oddly calm, professional even, as she cleansed the purple energy in the air and in his veins.
He jerked back from her, unable to trust what was happening.
Was this all one redemption mission because she felt bad for what she’d done to him in the lab? All those injections and her face always watching.
Did she really think he’d be okay if he ever found out?
“What’s wrong?” she asked, and though it was hard, he looked down into her face as she rested her hand on him again, trying to help him calm down.
How could this be happening?
Kira was here with him. The woman he loved. The person he respected and wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
How could she be the same Kira listed on these reports?
And this warm, healing sensation. It echoed in him like a happy memory with a sad ending, bittersweet and conflicting inside his chest.
“Dammit, that’s cool. I wish I could cleanse chaos,” Vex said, watching with intrigue as Kira used her radiant powers a moment longer before stopping.
“How are you feeling?” Kira asked, her tone oddly clinical. Perhaps she’d asked him many times before, but he just didn’t know it.
&
nbsp; “I’m not sure,” Ryder said, holding the side of his head with one hand, feeling stabby pangs in his skull as though someone were going to town with the tiniest knife in his brain. “Just shut this place down, and we’ll get going.”
“How about we get out of here and come back tomorrow? I don’t know how complex this system may be because it’s older than the others, and I think we should just get you home.”
“The mission—”
“Can wait a day.”
Ryder wanted to say he was totally fine so they could proceed as planned, but he had his doubts.
Something about that report. This place. The past creeping up on him like a predator hunting down its prey.
“Okay, you’re right. We should go.”
“There’s a stop we passed less than an hour ago. We can go there, recuperate, see how you’re feeling tonight,” Kira said, pointing in the direction of the exit. “Maybe we’ve just been going a little too hard on this mission.”
“Maybe.” Though, Ryder knew it wasn’t fatigue that was making him feel this way.
“Going so soon?” Vex seemed almost disappointed at that, then shrugged nonchalantly. “Oh well, more secrets for me.”
They were making their way out when Vexxus called once more behind them. “Oh, by the way, if you’re thinking about shutting this place down for good, my sources say the light fae are planning on migrating here soon, so I wouldn’t dawdle.”
Ryder looked over his shoulder and saw her wagging a finger haughtily, though there was a hint of worry in her expression as well.
But Ryder was fine. There was nothing to worry about.
“Let’s just get out of here, and we’ll take care of this later,” Kira said.
A quick rest and he’d been back at it again.
So why did he get the sinking feeling that the images he’d just seen, the memories he’d witnessed flashes of a minute ago, were only the beginning of losing everything?
16
The drive back and checking into the hotel went by in a blur for Ryder, and as they stepped into a plain room, his entire body felt heavy. He had just enough energy to lock the door before heading toward the bed.
“I think you’ll feel better after some rest,” Kira said with a nervous smile. “Though, if you need to talk about anything, I’m right here.”
“I’ll be fine after a nap. Probably just too many gas station snacks,” he replied, practically collapsing onto the hard mattress.
Darkness quickly overtook him, and everything blacked out for a moment as he went still inside.
But it didn’t last long before more images violently jumped around in his mind like a broken projector playing things on a screen. Only, instead of nightmares where he could picture places he vaguely recalled, then forget them the next morning, these images felt real. More real than if he’d had a photograph in his hand.
Like his eyes were recalling things he’d witnessed. And tried to forget.
A needle, large and ominous. A syringe full of swirling black and purple. Pain lashing his insides. A smile, disembodied and sneering with glee. Who was it?
A light fae standing above him as his chaos treatment was administered. How long had he been receiving these treatments? Days? Months? Years?
The light-haired fae disappeared, and another took his place. Then another. Another.
Then it was Kira standing above him. The syringe was the same. The table the same.
This doesn’t feel right. Something’s wrong. His thoughts were disjointed, his voice strange to himself.
But again and again, darkness and chaos overwhelmed his senses, confusing the dragon in him and torturing the fae in him at the same time. Making everything upside down.
He tried to shake off the memories, but every time he looked up, Kira was there. Kira frowning. Kira looking pained. But Kira, always there.
Ryder shot up in the bed, covered in sweat, unsure how long it had been.
He realized it was night outside now, and Kira was sitting next to him on the bed, worry creasing the corners of her eyes. But try as he might, he couldn’t get the images out of his head. Couldn’t simply put the horrible things he’d tried to forget back into whatever Pandora’s box he’d once kept them locked away in.
“Ryder?” Kira asked, her voice calming.
But now that he knew what he knew, what he thought he knew, Ryder couldn’t simply go back to the perfect life he’d been living in with his fae.
Not if she’d been one of them. One of the monsters who made him.
He took a deep breath, knowing this conversation might destroy him. “You said you knew me back at the main lab. That we knew each other. How well did we know each other?” He slouched his shoulders forward, still heavy in body and heart.
Kira froze, and by the wide, shocked look in her eyes, he knew he’d seen the truth.
“Well, right? We saw each other a lot.” His voice was hard. “Didn’t we?”
She nodded. “I wanted to tell you…”
“I know,” he said. “It’s my fault for not asking. For… Dammit. What do I do now?”
She blinked. “What do you mean? Do you remember everything?”
His eyes met hers, and he nodded. “I do.”
She swallowed, and he could feel the tension in the air. “And?”
“And I don’t want to see you again.”
Her face fell. “What?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know what you meant by this. Were you just checking up on your old project because you felt guilty? Is this some twisted redemption arc, you pretending to love me?”
“I do love you,” she said, tears filling her eyes. “I loved you all along. I’ve been trying to tell you that.”
He frowned. “Love? You think that’s love? How could you do what you did to me and call it love?” He looked away. “You betrayed me.”
She swallowed, her voice hoarse. “I did what I had to. What I thought was best. You were going to die.”
“I should have died,” he said, glaring at her. “I’m only living as a monster.”
“But look,” she said. “Look at the good things we’ve done together. Look at—”
He stood, moving away from her. He just couldn’t look at her right now. Not when he saw the lab every time he saw her face.
He’d been living with Landon. Riding his motorcycle. Things had been fine.
Why did she have to come and bring the past back, messing him up?
She sagged. “Ryder, I love you. You know that. Just let me explain. Let me tell you more about how I saw things. I don’t think you understand…”
But his glare was hard. Firm. “I don’t think I can, Kira. And if you’d told me earlier, then we probably wouldn’t have gotten involved.”
Her hands tightened into fists. “This isn’t fair. You knew I was from the labs when we got involved—”
“I didn’t know you were part of my project!” he snapped. He took a deep breath. “It’s so perverse, coming back to sleep with your subject like this.”
She let out a choking noise as she straightened. “I can’t believe you would say that. That you wouldn’t even give me the benefit of the doubt.”
“Was this all pity, then?” Ryder asked, whirling on her. “Find the monster and show you accept him when no one else can?” He shook his head. “I don’t need your pity.”
She tried to come forward, looking like she wanted to hold him. “It’s not pity, Ryder. It’s—”
“Don’t tell me it’s love,” he said, taking another step back from her.
She sagged, her hands falling to her sides. “I do love you, though.”
And that just made him angry because all he wanted was to believe what she said.
But he’d never be able to forgive her for being in that lab and helping them make him what he was.
“I don’t think we should work together anymore, Kira,” he said flatly, focusing on not shifting as the dragon in him fought to tear out.
> He needed to fly. To be in the sky where emotions didn’t matter and it was only him and the wind.
He needed to forget her and everything she’d done.
Because even now, he loved her so much he couldn’t think straight. Even now, he wanted her to his last breath.
“But our mission,” she said softly. “I—”
“Go home, Kira,” he said. “They’ll have to assign it to someone else.” He opened the door to head outside and stared up at the starry sky. “They should have from the start.”
And then he shifted and took off into the sky, knowing he would probably fly until his wings couldn’t carry him any longer, and he didn’t much care what happened to him after that.
Kira woke the next morning, face sore and eyes bleary as light streamed through the windows.
She rubbed her face, and everything came back from her talk with Ryder yesterday.
So it really did happen. Ryder was gone.
Her eyes fell on the empty place on the bed next to her. Unable to stand heading back to the SRP right away, she’d just stayed at the hotel one more night.
Maybe she’d just stay there forever now that the worst had happened. She’d lost Ryder all over again.
He remembered everything, and he hated her. Was it the transfer? He hadn’t let her explain. Or maybe he’d only pretended to love her to try and win over a fae. Or maybe she’d made too much out of everything.
Or maybe he just didn’t want anything to do with her now that he was out of the lab.
Either way, it didn’t much matter. He was gone now.
She’d always known that might happen once he remembered her, given how much he hated about his past.
Had he even had his memory erased? It seemed she’d made a wrong assumption there, as a data tablet would never have brought back something taken by Chadwick or another purple dragon.
She sighed as she got up and made herself a coffee with the free packets on the counter. It was bitter, acrid, leaving a sour taste in her mind but waking her nonetheless.
She hated being awake, knowing Ryder was angry with her.
She supposed she should text someone, let them know that she and Ryder wouldn’t be completing their mission, but who? And if they heard why, would everyone hate her?
Dragon Redeemed (Reclaimed Dragons Book 2) Page 11
