by Lexy Timms
We chose a shorter service, wanting to get married and enjoy our time with everyone. The pastor’s words are strong, meaningful, and full of love. My ears are perked, listening to the kind words that her aunt and uncle gave the pastor to read. I look over at Clarissa, and she squeezes my hand, winking at me. She is so gorgeous, so perfect, and finally, she is mine. It has been a bit of time since the day we told each other how we felt, the day that everything changed for her. In the end though, as I stand here taking my solemn vows, I know that no matter what happens in the future I know this girl better than anyone else, strange past or not.
“Clarissa and Kyle have chosen to write their own vows,” the pastor says looking at us both. “Clarissa, you may start first.”
She clears her throat and pulls out a piece of paper, slightly crumpled, which is entirely her style.
“Kyle,” she begins. “There is no one that I would rather chase monkeys with.”
Everyone laughs, and I look up at her and nod agreeing.
“There is no one that I would rather chase cats with, dogs with.
There is no one that I would rather be with for the rest of my life, through sickness, health, strange trips to Japan, and everything else that may come our way. You have been my best friend for a very long time, and now I get to have you as my husband. I promise to tend you when you are ill, argue my point even when I am wrong, and most importantly, love you for as long as I shall live.”
There are chuckles from the crowd and I know that no one truly understood those vows, but they mean the world to me. The pastor looks over at me, and I jump, clearing my throat and grabbing the paper from my back pocket. I got so caught up in her words I forgot my part.
“Clarissa,” I begin. “This world is made up of so many different people, animals, and creatures. There are seven-point-six billion sets of eyes, ears, noses, and brains perusing every part of this beautiful world, yet somehow you and me, we ended up in the same place at the same time in history. I have to say, that though science doesn’t support it, that sounds an awful lot like fate to me. You have been my best friend for a long time, and the love of my life before I even met you.”
A collective awe from the crowd causes me to pause, the blood rushing to my cheeks. I look around at everyone and chuckle, nodding my head in agreement. As I turn back to Clarissa, I notice a tear gently rolling down her cheek and my heart flutters again in my chest.
“I think I might be the luckiest of humans to have such an amazing woman pick me. I promise to always protect you, to always be there for you, to always comfort you, and to always and forever love you, until my dying breath.”
As I fold the paper and shove it back in my pocket, the pastor pulls out the rings. Clarissa is the first to go, gently pushing mine onto my finger, and then me, lifting her hand to my lips and kissing it gently as I slide hers down. I grasp her hand tightly in mine and smile as the pastor closes his book and cheerfully grins.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” he says looking at me.
“You may now kiss the bride.”
“Yes,” I cheer, pulling her close and planting a strong loving kiss on her lips.
The crowd stands to their feet and begins clapping, the sun just now dipping below the horizon. It is a beautiful moment, one that I will always cherish. We clasp hands and make our way down the aisle, waving at everyone as we head toward the barn which is now a sweeping display of white flowers and lace covered tables.
I can’t believe how fast the entire night is going, from the cake cutting to the first dance. By the time the moon is high in the sky, my feet ache, the champagne is bubbling in my brain, and I am longing to spend my first night with my new bride. We didn’t plan a honeymoon since work is calling and we have a lot of things to take care of, so we are planning to stay overnight at her parents’ house where the wedding is being held and then head off the next morning to our new apartment together.
“Mom,” Clarissa signs to her aunt, smiling as the two meet in the front of the barn. “Thank you so much for all of this. It is so beautiful.”
“It was my pleasure,” she signs back. “Your uncle and I, we wanted to make sure that you had a beautiful day.”
“It was more than that,” Clarissa replies. “And I am exhausted.”
“Hopefully, not too exhausted,” her uncle says, walking up to us.
“Your mother and I are going to stay up the way with the Bransons and give you two newlyweds some privacy for the night.”
“You don’t have to do that,” Clarissa replies. “We will be fine.”
“I know,” he says, hugging her tightly. “But it’s customary you stay alone your first night.”
“Thank you,” she says, her face in his shoulder.
I shake her uncle’s hand and turn to her aunt, bending down and hugging her tightly. They are wonderfully genuine people, and not only because they planned the whole wedding, but because they took care of Clarissa her whole life. As I look down at the time, Clarissa reaches over and grabs my hand, smiling at me.
“They are the last to leave,” she coos, lifting her eyebrows. “We are all alone now.”
“I see that.” I laugh, pulling her into my arms. “Shall we retire to the bedroom, my wife?”
“Ummm, I was thinking maybe we start out here in the barn,” she says smiling.
“Mmmm, I like that,” I say and chuckle. “Oh! Wait. I have a gift for you. It’s up in the room I dressed in. Just give me one sec, and I will go get it.”
“Oh,” she whines. “Can’t it wait.”
“No.” I laugh. “It’ll be really quick, I promise.”
“Hurry,” she grumps, finally letting go of my hand as I run toward the house.
My feet are almost moving faster than my body can carry me and I miss the first step, almost smashing my face into the stairs. I chuckle to myself, slowing down enough to make it into the house and up the stairs. I let out a deep, happy sigh as I walk into the bedroom. The gift is sitting right where I left it, on the desk by the window. My hands smooth over the shiny red wrapping paper and I smile, thinking about the beautiful charm bracelet inside.
“Nice of you to join us,” a voice says from behind me.
I drop the box and turn around, the smile melting off my face.
Three tall men are standing in front of me, dressed in black, their green eyes glimmering in the dark room. I look back and forth between them, hearing the all too familiar growl emanating from their chests. They are Primal, most likely here for Clarissa.
“She left to go to the store,” I shout. “Leave us alone.”
“That’s sweet,” the larger of the three says as he steps forward into the light, whiskers beginning to sprout from his face.
“Protecting your new bride.”
A scream escapes my mouth as I lift my arms in defense, the larger of the two pouncing on me, knocking me to the ground. I swing my arms wildly trying to fend them off, but as the tearing of flesh rings out in my head, I know they have conquered me.
After a few moments though, I can no longer feel the stinging pain of claws and teeth gnawing through my flesh. My body is in shock, shielding me from the rest. My head falls back, and my eyes catch the shine of the moon out the window. Visions of Clarissa in her white dress move through my mind. I don’t want to leave her, not like this.
“At least,” I mumble. “At least I was able to protect you.”
I feel the blood rising up in my throat, and a cough spurts from my chest, splattering the hot sanguine fluid down my chin. My lungs are collapsing, and I strain to live, clinging to my last moments on earth. The large Primal steps in front of the window and his eyes meet mine.
“Too bad we came for you.” He laughs.
Chapter 2
~ Clarissa
Silence.
Silence is what I am hearing. It is a deafening silence, and though everyone around me is talking, crying, whispering even, all I can hear is the silence of my life. Every kiss, ev
ery laugh, every in-depth talk, every exciting discovery was wasted, laying in a casket in front of me, a pile of dirt waiting to bury it as deep as it can go. I want to be angry, or sad, or anything other than what I am. I can feel the stillness in my soul, the kind that takes every joy from your body and crushes it under the weight of a burden that I alone have to face. I am the cause.
Kyle, my sweet husband, my very best friend. I was his cure and ultimately his demise. I should have stayed away like I had originally tried to do, but I thought I was safe, that he was safe, but I was naively wrong.
The weight of the umbrella in my hand feels like too much for me to carry, but as the rain is pouring down over us, standing there in the cemetery, I realize it is also the only thing keeping me on my feet.
My wedding night is burned into my memory. Standing in the barn, smiling, looking up at the sparkling lights, waiting for Kyle to return. I hear his screams the moment those beasts attack, and I will my legs to run faster. I can stop the murderers if I can get there in time. But I’m too late. His body is so mangled he is unrecognizable. His body no longer the image of the man that I love. His corpse is so indistinguishable that the only way I know it is him is the ring on his finger. They left that untouched, not even a drop of blood staining the golden band.
“Why do we lose these beautiful young people so early?” the pastor says, the service almost at a close. “We will never know the answer to that. But to lose him, in such a vicious way, a rabid animal attack, on his wedding night, we struggle to come to terms with it. All we can do is give our faith to the Almighty and pray for the heart of his beautiful wife. Please bow your heads for a moment of silence, in request from his wife.”
Everybody bows their heads but not me, my eyes are frozen, staring at the pine box balancing on two metal poles ready to be lowered into the ground. I feel my heart beating for every lost second, every lost memory that I will never have with him again.
My hand rises to my face, and I wipe a tissue across my nose.
“Thank you,” the pastor says looking up at the crowd. “A gathering is to follow at the Ferguson farm directly after the service.”
The pastor nods at me and I take a deep breath, hoping it will help me lift my feet from where they are standing. With each step forward, I can feel the goodbye. I stand at his side as they lower the casket into the ground, deep beneath our feet. The water is raining down, pounding against smooth, shiny wood. In my hand is a single red rose, the thorns pushing into my skin, my body healing too fast for it to hurt me. One of the ways I am different. As the flower falls from my fingertips, my eyes watch until it lands firmly and comfortably in its eternal resting place.
Immediately I turn and begin to walk toward the car, not wanting to watch everyone say goodbye. I can hear my father’s footsteps hurrying behind me, trying to reach the door before I get there.
My feet come to a stop and I scan over the horizon, seeing the clear blue sky in the distance. This is the story of our relationship, always just a moment too late.
“Here,” my father says, opening the door. “I’ll see you at the house.”
I nod and try to smile, getting in the car and sitting back before he closes the door. The driver starts down the road, and I keep my eyes on the burial spot for as long as I can. The rain washes over the windows as we drive along, the only sound is the wipers moving back and forth across the glass.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” the driver says, his voice almost purposely deep.
I look at the back of his head, feeling like I have heard that tone before, but I am too tired to continue to care.
“Thank you,” I say in a whisper.
“May I ask what happened?”
“An animal attack,” I reply. “Not really sure what kind yet.
Looked like some kind of big cat.”
“Really?” he says in shock. “Out here? Well, I’m sorry. That’s terrible.”
“Yes,” I mumble to myself. “It is.”
The house looks gloomy from the road as we make our way up the driveway. I lean forward and touch the driver’s shoulder.
“Could you let me out here, at the barn?” I ask.
“Sure,” he replies, pulling the car up to the door.
“Thank you,” I say, opening the door and putting up my umbrella.
I close the door and nod, waiting for the car to continue off before walking into the barn and closing the door behind me. I shake off the umbrella and pull it shut, propping it against the doorframe. My hand trails along the wall until I feel the light switch beneath my fingertips. I flip the switch and look up, no more sparkling lights hanging from the rafters. I run my hands along the wood walls, walking beyond the large stacks of hay to the back where one single table still stands, all of our gifts, wrapped perfectly, right where they were when I left them.
As my hands touch the ribbons and move to a smaller package, I stop, looking down at the shiny red wrapping paper. I flip open the small card attached and pull my hand back quickly with a gasp. It is from Kyle, his gift to me.
“My dearest Clarissa,” the note reads. “This is only the beginning of our journey, and I promise to keep adding to this gift as long as I have air in my lungs. Forever yours, Kyle.”
I want to look inside, I do, but my hands won’t stop shaking. I grasp them together for a moment, breathing deeply, trying to regain my composure. Carefully I unwrap the gift and flip open the long black rectangular box. Inside is a charm bracelet with three charms hanging from the silver rope, a bear, a wolf, and a cat. With shaking hands, I pull it from the clasps and hang it over my wrist, connecting the two ends and holding it against my chest. I close my eyes, thinking about Kyle, about our last moments together. Suddenly, my nose picks up a scent, familiar, and anger begins to beat in my chest.
“What are you doing here?” I growl.
“I want to—we want to tell you how sorry we are about Kyle,”
Sebastian says, his voice hammering in my ears.
I whip around and look across the barn at him, his hair drenched, his shirt clinging to his steaming skin. I want to say something, but my lips won’t part, my hand stays tightly clamped around the bracelet on my wrist. Slowly I step forward, my black heels sinking into the thick layer of dust on the barn floor.
“Clarissa,” Sebastian says, stepping forward with his arms out.
“NO!” I yell out, and the birds flap their wings in the raptors above us. “No, you can’t say anything to me. You can’t.”
He stands still, lowering his arms to his sides, a hurt look on his face. It angers me, it disgusts me that he dares stand there and try to apologize to me for this. I’m not even sure how to handle myself, but I can’t take it any longer. I run forward, my ankles almost buckling as I come to a halt in front of him.
Without thinking, my hands fly up in the air and rain down on his chest, curling into fists, pounding over and over again. He
stands there, taking it, letting me do it, and that makes me even angrier.
“You were supposed to protect him,” my voice echoes. “It was your only job, and you failed. You left us like you left me back at the lab. You didn’t do your goddamn job.”
I take a step back, breathing heavily, my emotions spilling out.
I am lost, completely lost, even worse than when I found out about my parents. It had taken me so long to realize how much I loved Kyle, and before I could spend my life with him, he was gone. There is no reasoning with me, there is no way he can explain to me what happened.
“You’re right,” he spoke out. “I failed. I couldn’t protect Kyle, and even worse, it could have been you.”
“It could have been me?” A laugh escapes my throat as I shake my head. “It could have been me, huh? Yeah, it could have been, but it wouldn’t have been if we took this even further back.”
“I don’t understand,” he says carefully.
“If it weren’t for you, I would never know about Primal,” I say with a hiss in my voic
e. “I wouldn’t know that I am different. I wouldn’t know that my parents were some sort of freak experiment, that I was some kind of freak experiment.”
My hand is shaking and laughter, a maniacal melancholy laugh, breaks from my chest. Sebastian’s eyes are tracking me, a look of bewilderment followed by a guilt is rushing across his face. I put my hands together and touch the tips of my fingers to my lips, trying to gather some sort of ability to control myself.
“Those THINGS would never have come after me, never hurt the people I love, NEVER KILLED MY HUSBAND ON OUR WEDDING NIGHT, if it wasn’t for you,” I continue. “Everything good in my life has been taken from me in the blink of an eye, and I am standing in a barn with a bracelet that will never get another charm. I am standing alone, and all I can think is how I wish it had been me.
How I failed my own husband by having faith in someone that is selfish and spoiled in his own dog skin.”
“Clarissa,” he says, shaking and sad.
“Just go,” I reply, turning and walking back toward the table.
“Go and leave me alone in my misery. If I am lucky, they will come back for me.”
I can feel him standing there, staring at the back of my head, hoping that I will change my mind and turn back, but I can’t, not now, not ever. I hold tightly to the card from Kyle, listening to Sebastian’s feet shuffle around. He opens the barn door, the sound of rain intruding, and then shuts it behind him as he
leaves. I stand there for a moment, that silence creeping back on me, pulling me in, embracing me. Maybe I like the silence. Maybe it’s all I should ever have because everything I love ends up dead.
My chest tightens, and I slump down, falling onto the floor and pulling my knees to my chest. Tears flood my eyes and I let go, letting the emotions take over. I am alone, and that is never going to change.
Chapter 3
~ Sebastian
My breathing is heavy and labored, my fur drenched to the skin.
I’ve run all night getting to Theo and Toshi, and they are finally close, ahead in the old abandoned factory on the hill.
