by A. M. Kusi
Taking the suitcase from the closet, she packed her items, leaving no sign of her behind. She swallowed the lump of emotion that clogged her throat. She needed to walk out of there with her head held high. The kids didn’t need any more stress than they’d already had. Isa drew in a deep breath and headed back downstairs.
Ethan was sitting at the table with his head in his hands and his shoulders slumped. The bottom stair creaked and he looked up. Anguish marred his handsome features. The war between his heart and his mind was evident in his eyes.
“Can I say goodbye to the kids?” she managed to ask, motioning to them happily and obliviously playing in the next room.
He nodded, looking away from her to the children, taking her heart with him.
Isa walked towards the little girl first, hoping Ethan wouldn’t see how shaky her steps were. She kneeled in front of her. “Joy?”
She looked up from her iPad, her big brown eyes so pure and innocent.
“Remember I said I was going on a trip?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m gonna leave tonight. You can call me whenever you want, okay?” Isa fought the fresh tears that threatened to burst. She wasn’t just saying goodbye to one person she loved, but three.
Joy’s expression changed to concern. “Are you leaving like my mommy and daddy did?”
Isa rubbed her palm over the girl’s cheek gently. “No, honey. I’ll be back.” She hoped it was true, that she could still see the kids again someday.
“Are you going to be my other mommy like Uncle Ethan is our other daddy?” Joy asked.
Isa felt a stab of pain shoot through her chest. She saw Ethan turn his back to them out of the corner of her eye.
“I’ll be whatever you need for as long as you need. I have to go now.” Isa leaned in and kissed Joy’s cheek, squeezing her in a hug.
“When I miss you and I’m sad, I’ll draw pictures like you said,” Joy added as Isa pulled away.
“That’s perfect,” she said, picking Max up quickly to kiss his forehead, cheeks, and the mound of curls on his head.
“I love you, Isa,” Joy said as Isa set Max back down.
“I love you too.” She smiled and waved as she made her way to her coat, not bothering to put it on as she reached for the door, and rolled the suitcase behind her.
She turned back to Ethan, memorizing every curve, shadow, and angle of his face one last time.
His eyes were bloodshot. He joined her before opening the front door. She walked out as he followed, closing the door behind him.
“I meant what I said to her. If they ever need anything, please let me know. I love those kids more than I should.” Her voice cracked.
He took her face in his hands, searching her eyes like he was looking for anything to give him a shred of hope. “Isa.”
She savored the sound of her name on his lips. Her knees wobbled.
“It’s a lot to think about. It’s a lot between us.” She could see the turmoil in his eyes as he spoke. His heart was at war with itself, caught between love and duty.
“I know. I understand why this has to be over.” The ache in her chest grew a little more with each word.
“I love you,” he said, his hands trembling. “Don’t ever forget that. I know you can do anything you want to in life. You are capable and strong.”
She melted and shattered all at once with his words. Just not enough for us.
“I guess I should have followed my instincts when it came to relationships.” Her voice broke as the lie left her mouth.
“What?” He looked taken aback as his hands dropped.
The self-protective anger boiled out in an attempt to hide her most vulnerable parts. Hate me so you can be free from any sense of duty to me. “It was nice while it lasted, but we both should have known this would never work. Two clashing families—it’s like goddamned Romeo and Juliet. You know how those two ended up.”
“But, Isa, we’re more than that. Don’t you think what we have is worth fighting for?”
She did. “I don’t.”
A look of disappointment flashed in his eyes and was then replaced with resentment. “You’re not who I thought you were.” The hurt was evident as he spoke.
“Goodbye, Ethan,” she said, turning and walking to her SUV, hoping her legs wouldn’t give out until she got inside. It felt like she was being stabbed with a thousand tiny swords in her chest. She took tight, constricting breaths as her life force bled from the jagged edges of what used to be her heart. She was sure she was dying. Death by internal bleeding from a broken heart.
The tears came freely now—the downpour of rain after the storm. She was in such a haze of torment and shock, she wasn’t sure how she’d ended up in her apartment.
She pulled the flight app open in her phone and canceled her trip to Europe. Everything was a blur of excruciating pain. Isa opened her cupboards frantically before pulling out the first bottle of liquor she found. She unscrewed the top and took a gulp that singed her tongue and throat. She welcomed the burn because that pain was nothing compared to what she felt inside. Tears poured down her cheeks as she sobbed. She reached for the bottle again, but instead of her own hand, she saw her father’s fisted around it. She dropped it suddenly and it shattered on the floor.
Her stomach twisted, knowing she was reaching for the same thing her parents chose to numb their sorrows. Repeating their mistakes. She wouldn’t be like them. She couldn’t. But it hurt so fucking much.
A knock sounded at her door and her heartbeat thudded in her chest. If it was Ethan, she couldn’t lie to him anymore. She didn’t have the strength to walk away from him twice. He held the other half of her.
She stepped around the mess and opened it.
A shocked gasp came from Harper who covered her mouth and looked at her with a mix of worry and sympathy. “What happened?”
“The fantasy ended,” Isa said, breaking into fresh sobs. Harper ushered her past the broken glass and to her bedroom. Isa fell onto the clean white comforter.
Isa wasn’t sure how long she cried as her friend rubbed her back and lay next to her. She heard her on the phone to Jax at one point. Harper told him she was staying the night with her.
“You don’t have to,” Isa protested.
Harper sat by her side. At some point, Isa drifted off into a fitful sleep.
The next morning, she felt as though she had a hangover, though she hadn’t drunk anything after the little bit of vodka. Her eyes were swollen and her nose felt scratched and dry. Her chest and belly were filled with a dull ache.
Harper carried in two cups of coffee. Isa wasn’t hungry, or thirsty. She felt broken. She just wanted to lie there until it didn’t hurt anymore.
“Thank you,” she said, wrapping her fingers around the warm porcelain mug from her friend.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Harper asked.
Isa couldn’t think of anything worse, but her friend deserved to know. She explained what had happened with her parents and then what Ethan told her.
“Oh my God,” Harper said, stunned. “But you didn’t tell him you’d already left your family?”
“Ethan is a good man.” Her voice trembled as she spoke. “He has a strong sense of duty and loyalty. If he knew I gave up what I did, he would feel like he needed to help take care of me. He’s very protective of those he loves.” Loved. She would be a past tense in Ethan’s life now. “I know he would break his mother’s heart by being with me. It would tear him in two. I can’t do that to him. My family has caused enough damage to his.”
“But Isa, he didn’t say he wanted to break up. He said he wanted a break, and to talk when you got back from your trip.” Harper encouraged her.
“We all know what ‘take a break’ means. It means you’re free to sleep with other people. He said maybe when I got back we could
talk. His eyes told me it was over. He made that clear.”
“I see. I just wish there was another way.” Harper sighed.
“Me too. But there isn’t.”
“What are you going to do?” Harper asked, looking around the room decorated with expensive things Isa hadn’t even picked out herself.
She was living in a dollhouse. Someone had always set things up and controlled every aspect of how she’d lived for so long. Who was she without her parents’ money?
“I’m going to take care of myself. I’m going to call Griffin about the galleries. I’m going to look for a job.”
“A job?” Harper asked, surprised.
“I have to. There’s a small trust set aside for me when I was a child by my grandparents; that should help me get started somewhere.”
“You’re going to leave your apartment?” Harper asked.
“My parents pay the bills.”
“You’re always welcome at our house,” Harper offered.
“Thank you. I think I need to do this on my own to prove to myself that I can.”
A knock sounded at the door, and both she and Harper stood.
“I’ll go see who it is—you get cleaned up. You look like shit,” Harper teased.
Isa came out of the bathroom a few minutes later. Three men in moving uniforms stood around her living room. Disappointment bloomed in her gut, as if a small part of her had been hoping it was Ethan at the door.
Harper chewed her lip looking at a paper in her hands.
“My father sent them, I assume?”
Harper nodded and handed her the paper. It was a list of all the things she had to leave because he’d paid for them—almost everything.
Isa directed the movers to take her paintings and art supplies from her studio. Pulling out a couple of suitcases, she packed some of her clothes. Leaving almost all the jewelry and shoes, she took only the bare minimum. She had them pack her toiletries, makeup, and essentials into boxes while she took one more look around the apartment. Isa was saying goodbye to one life and heading off into the unknown. She had her friends, but the loneliness she felt would always be there because a piece of her soul was missing.
Harper gave her address to the movers before she asked, “Want a ride?”
“I don’t have a car anymore, so I guess I need one,” Isa said, pulling her hair into a high ponytail.
“Should we smash some shit before we go?” Harper smiled.
Isa considered it momentarily. Her friend always had her back. Harper was her sister, her family.
“He would expect me to throw a fit. I won’t stoop to his level.”
“It might make you feel better,” Harper argued.
“I have something better in mind. Can we make a stop on the way to your house?”
***
Isa pushed open the glass doors to her father’s office despite his secretary’s protests. Her brother sat across from her father at the desk. Daniel Grayson’s cold blue eyes met hers as Liam’s head swiveled towards the interruption.
“Come to beg for your things back? Didn’t even last a few hours without me, huh?” Her father’s smug smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“Actually, I came to hear you admit you tried to blackmail Ethan’s mother into having sex with you when she worked as your secretary,” she said loud enough for anyone outside his door to hear. The secretary stood outside the glass walls, her mouth agape. “Then you blacklisted his father when she refused you.”
“Lower your voice,” he commanded, pressing the button that darkened the walls of his office, giving them privacy.
“Or what? Admit it—you’re nothing but a narcissist with a power complex. You’re disgusting and I’m sorry we share DNA.”
“You always were a disappointment,” Daniel snapped.
“You stay away from me. I don’t want your dirty money. I don’t want any part of you in my life.” Her body shook with rage.
“Or what?” he asked, throwing her own words back at her.
“Or I’ll go to every magazine and news outlet that will listen and tell them all about our family secrets. We know how you feel about your reputation, about how things look from the outside,” she threatened, feeling powerful as her body trembled with adrenaline. Each time she stood up to him, it got easier. She became more confident.
Liam remained seated, his stoic expression silently locked on their exchange. She knew better than to expect any support from her brother.
“Don’t worry. I’ll never contact you again. You won’t see another penny from me either,” Daniel growled.
Isa turned and walked out of his office, closing the door to her past and stepping into her future.
Chapter 29
Isa needed to make one more stop before Harper took her back to her house. She went into the bank, expecting to have a nice cushion in her trust fund that her grandparents had set up for her. The only issue was, her mother was co-owner of it and therefore had access to the funds as well. Isa was stunned to find that the account had been emptied.
She dialed her mother. It rang several times before Marie picked up. “Hello?”
“Where is my money from Papa?” Isa asked.
“Darling,” her mother said, trying to smooth things over like she usually did.
“Don’t, Mom. That wasn’t Dad’s money. That was mine from Papa.”
“He said if I didn’t do it, he would cut me off and divorce me. I know you’ll be fine. You made that very clear at lunch yesterday. I need him. He’s my husband. I—I can’t live without him. I’m sure he’ll come around eventually. Just give him some time, and then you can come back and everything can be like it was before.”
Isa’s breaths became shallower as her mother’s list of excuses went on. Her ears rang. Her mother was choosing her father over her again. It wasn’t a surprise, but it still stung. She truly had nothing now but her few earthly possessions and her friend’s kindness.
Her mother was still talking when she hung up the phone. She knew it was only a matter of time before it was disconnected too.
Harper opened her front door.
“Mommy’s home!” Jax greeted them, handing baby Mila over to her mother.
Jax kissed his wife’s lips before he backed away and opened his arms for Isa. She hugged him back. It gave her a small sense of comfort to be held by her friend.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I left a message for Ethan, but he hasn’t called me back yet.
She panicked. “You can’t tell him I’m here. You can’t tell him I left them. He has to think I’m okay. Promise me, Jax?”
His inner conflict was clear from his expression.
“You owe me, remember?” she pressed.
Jax turned to Harper who nodded. Jax sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “Fine. I won’t lie to him, because I won’t bring it up. I can’t lie anymore. A piece of advice from someone who knows—lying is never the answer.”
“I appreciate it,” she said.
Harper led her to their spare room where she found the few boxes and suitcases the movers had brought over.
“You’re welcome to stay as long as you want,” Harper assured her.
“I’ll start looking for a job tomorrow.”
Isa spent the night in her room. She was drained from the day’s events. Every breath was painful. Every sweet memory of Ethan, of Joy telling her she loved her, and Max walking for the first time, stung. She missed them all. The way Ethan smelled like a fresh breeze blowing through a pine forest. His laugh, or the rumble of his deeply accented voice. The way he mispronounced aluminum like al-u-min-ee-umm. She missed his taste, his touch, their conversations. He was the other half to her soul, and she was empty without him. Something she had learned by being with him though was that she was stronger than she’d thought. She would survive this.
>
Isa pulled out her phone that Harper had graciously offered to cover when it had been disconnected. She called Griffin Smith, hoping he had some good news for her.
***
The week went by miserably slowly. Each morning, it was a struggle to get out of bed. She was never hungry, and avoided Harper’s worried eye.
Griffin had offered to meet her on Friday night over dinner. She’d accepted because she needed his help. She didn’t want to impose on Harper and Jax any longer than she had to.
She chose a simple navy blue dress that seemed professional, and a pair of white heels. Her hair was twisted into a bun, out of her face, and she hoped it would help make it crystal clear that this was not a date, just business.
She went downstairs to wait for him to pick her up. When she entered the kitchen, Jax looked up, surprised. “You’re going out?”
“I have a business meeting with Griffin, a colleague of my brother’s,” she explained.
“At seven in the evening?” he asked sounding unnaturally nonchalant.
“We are discussing everything over dinner.” She glanced at the phone in his hand. “Have you heard from him?” she asked. It hurt too much to say Ethan’s name.
“Nope,” Jax answered.
“Can you check on him. Please?” she asked.
“I was gonna head over tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she said as the doorbell rang. “That’s me.”
She opened the door letting a cool blast of wind into the house. Griffin had his hands in the pockets of another tailored suit that showed off his muscular arms.
“Griffin, nice to see you again.”
“You look beautiful, as always,” he said, his eyes caressing every inch of her. She felt exposed, though this was the most modest dress she owned.
Jax cleared his throat behind her as he stepped forward and held out his own muscular tattooed arm. Griffin returned the gesture.
“I don’t believe we have met. Jaxton Harris,” Jax growled.
“Griffin Smith.”
Isa watched as the men exchanged a look. “Well, we better get going.”
