by Sue Brown
“Oh yeah.” Keenan felt like he was in a daydream.
“Do you know where the ER is?” Nate asked as he fell into step beside Keenan.
“Yes.”
Nate must have heard the edge in Keenan’s voice, because he stopped, a hand on Keenan’s arm. “This is the hospital where you got hurt?”
“In the ER.” One second where his whole life came to a halt.
“Christ, Keenan, why didn’t you tell me?”
“It’s not important. Come on. We’ve got to find my Pops.” He tried to smile, but Nate still frowned.
“Hey, wait.” Nate didn’t draw Keenan into a hug, but he pulled him close without letting go of his arm. “Is this going to be a problem?”
“I spent a lot of time in the hospital. One minute I was working, next I was a patient,” Keenan said. “It’s stupid, but the noises and the smells of an ER send me into a meltdown.”
Nate nodded sympathetically. “Does your family know?”
“They think I’m a flake already. They don’t need to know I’ve got yet another issue.”
“I’m sure they don’t believe you’re a flake.”
“I’m the wunderkind who ended up as a bartender,” Keenan said. “They think I’m a flake.”
“Keenan—”
Keenan shook his head. “I need to see Pops.”
“I’ll stay by you, okay?” Nate stared into his eyes. “You feel like you’re losing it, tell me and I’ll get you out of there.”
Keenan sucked in a steadying breath and nodded in agreement. “I’ll tell you. Let’s go.”
The noise of people and machines and the smell of sickness, fear, and worry hit him as soon as he stepped foot in the hospital. Just being in the ER used to haunt his dreams, although it had subsided over the years. Nate laid a hand on Keenan’s back, grounding him.
In the hospital he joined a huddled group of his womenfolk. Alan had been sent in search of coffee. Sarah and Karen drew him into the group.
“They’re running tests on Pops,” Sarah said.
Keenan hugged his mom, dismayed to find her shaking in his arms.
“Mom, what happened?”
“He was digging in the flowerbed in the backyard. I looked outside and he was on his knees clutching his chest. I told him it was too much for him,” she wailed.
He held her close, suddenly feeling how vulnerable she was. It was too early to face his parents’ mortality. They’d been young parents and now were only in their midsixties. Neither of them should be facing serious illness yet.
Julia stepped back, her eyes red and brimming as she turned to Nate. “Detective Gordon, it’s good to see you again.”
He stepped in and held her hands. “Ma’am. How is Mr. Day?”
“You know what it’s like, waiting for the doctors to tell you something.”
“We only just got here, Mom.” Sarah turned to Nate. “Good to see you again, Nate.”
Keenan found it all rather surreal. It was like a family gathering at home, not like waiting to see if their patriarch was going to live or die.
“Where are the kids?” he asked.
“Our neighbor,” Sarah said. “Alan’s going home in a minute. He didn’t want me driving.”
The family said nothing. Sarah’s driving was erratic at the best of times.
Alan arrived with coffee for Julia and Keenan’s sisters. Then he disappeared home. Keenan sat down, declining an offer of coffee from Nate, who sat next to him. As an emergency team rushed past, Keenan shivered and Nate put his arm around him. None of his family reacted. They seemed lost in a world of their own as they drank their coffees.
Finally Karen looked up and sighed. “Christ, that was awful.”
Julia admonished her for her language, but she agreed. “It tasted like cleaning fluid.”
Nate squeezed Keenan and smiled at them. “Why don’t I make a run for decent coffee for all of us.”
“Thank you, detective,” Julia said.
“Nate, please,” he said gently. He looked at Keenan, who understood Nate was asking him if he was all right to be left alone. Keenan nodded.
As he vanished, Sarah turned to Keenan. “Are you okay? You don’t have to stay here.”
“What do you mean?” he asked defensively. She just gave him a look, and he sighed. Why did he think he could hide anything from them? “I’m coping.”
She gave him a sudden hug. “I’m glad Nate is here.”
“Me too,” he admitted.
Karen arched an eyebrow at him. “What is Gordon doing here?”
Keenan blushed, and she smirked. Sarah sighed.
When Nate returned with coffee, Keenan leaned against him while he sipped his drink. They sat for a long time, and Keenan was almost asleep on Nate’s shoulder when a male nurse appeared.
“Anyone here for Roland Day?”
Karen got to her feet. “That’s us.”
“He’s comfortable now. You can come and see him.”
“Is he all right?” Julia asked.
The nurse smiled at her. “I’ll let him tell you.”
Keenan couldn’t help but notice he had a cute smile, and from Nate’s expression, he did too. He drew Nate to one side.
“Down, boy,” he whispered.
“Ha ha,” Nate said. “I noticed you looking too. I’ll stay here while you go in to see your dad.”
“You don’t have to stay. We’ll be here for a while. I’ll get Karen to drive me back.”
Nate nodded. “If you’re sure. I’m expected at the precinct.”
“I’m sure. Thanks for spending the afternoon with me. I know it’s not what you expected.”
Nate studied Keenan intently. “You call me if you need me, okay?”
“I will, I promise.”
“Let me know how your dad is. It doesn’t matter what time it is.” Nate looked as though he was about to kiss Keenan when Sarah called, “Keenan, hurry up.”
“My sister, the cockblock,” Keenan muttered.
Nate laughed and squeezed his shoulder. “Go on, go and see your father.”
“I will.” He gave Nate another smile and joined his sisters.
“Is Nate not coming?” Sarah asked.
Oh, the response Keenan could make to that. “No, he’s going to work. Let’s go see Pops.”
Roland Day looked almost as pale as the sheets on his bed, but he smiled when his family entered. He was hooked up to a number of machines and an IV. “I thought you’d forgotten about me.”
“We were having a party outside,” Julia said as she rushed to his bedside and leaned over to kiss his forehead.
“Typical,” he grumbled. “You guys always have a party without me.”
Keenan took his hand. “What’s wrong with you, old man?”
“Less of the old,” Roland said.
Before he could say more, a white-coated man walked in. He was a sharp-eyed Indian man around Nate’s age. “Hello, I’m Dr. Laghari.”
“What’s wrong with my father, Dr. Laghari?” Karen asked.
Keenan was expecting her to flash her badge.
“Your father is suffering from pericarditis. It’s an inflammation of the pericardium, the protective sac that surrounds the heart. The good thing is we’ve caught it in the early stages.”
“It wasn’t a heart attack?” Keenan asked.
“No. Roland’s heart is healthy. He just needs to take it easier and admit when it hurts. We’ll keep an eye on him for a couple of hours, but then he should be able to go home with pain medication.”
Keenan could take a breath for the first time since he’d gotten the phone call from Karen. They talked with the doctor for a while, and then he left them alone to process the news.
A tear ran down Julia’s cheek. Roland wiped it away with his thumb.
“What are you crying for, silly woman? I’m fine.”
She sniffed and wiped her eyes with a tissue that Keenan handed her. “I’m not crying.”
They were all crying with r
elief. Even Keenan couldn’t hold back the tears as he hugged his father. It could have been so much worse. Karen muttered something and headed for the door.
Julia looked at Keenan. “Go after her.”
He found Karen outside in the hall, her face in her hands.
“Hey, come here.”
Her shoulders shook, and when he turned her around, she buried her face in his chest and wept. Keenan held her tight and muttered soothing nothings. He’d never seen his twin like this. She was always practical and efficient in any situation. Finally she took long shuddering breaths and raised her head. Her mascara had run down her cheeks.
“You look like a panda,” he teased.
“I hate you.” She sniffled. “He’s going to be all right?”
“He really is.”
“It was like with you—getting the call and rushing to the hospital. We thought you were going to die.”
Keenan held her close and buried his face in her hair. He couldn’t hold back a few tears. He knew it had been traumatic for his family, wondering if he’d live or die, but he’d never thought about the long-term effects on them. Karen sighed and hugged him again as Sarah popped her head out. Then Keenan had two sisters in his arms. He remembered the long hours they’d spent by his bed as he recovered from his head trauma. They’d bullied him into recovery, and he’d hated them and loved them at the same time.
“You’re the best family ever,” he said, holding them closer.
“Well duh,” Sarah said. “Of course we are.”
NATE WRAPPED himself around Keenan. They both moaned in happiness at snuggling together. He’d called with the news about his father, and Nate asked if he could spend the night. Keenan was more than happy for Nate to come for a hookup. Well, Nate called it a hookup. Keenan called it a sleepover.
Once his father was discharged, they’d all gone back to his parents, and then Emma turned up. Roland had been put to bed like a small child, he grumbled, and everyone else gathered for takeout and a chance to lean on each other and de-stress.
Nate picked him up and drove him home. It was eleven before he walked in the door. Much as he’d been annoyed at his lack of orgasms earlier in the day, Keenan didn’t feel like starting anything. He was emotionally and physically drained. So they shed their clothes and climbed into bed, and the feel of Nate’s arms around him was all he needed.
“Did you ever find who killed Marissa Hickson?” he asked suddenly.
Nate sighed a warm breath over Keenan’s skin. “No. A few leads, but nothing substantial. It’s off the front pages now.”
“I’m sorry, Nate.”
“Me too. Good night.” Nate snuggled against him in the darkness.
Keenan waited until Nate’s breath evened out and he slept. Then he let himself tumble into sleep.
Chapter 18
KEENAN COULD hear the noise from the sidewalk. He’d turned up to see his parents on a Friday morning as he was going to be working the following Sunday and would miss the family lunch. Sarah and the kids were already there.
“So much for a quiet coffee.”
For a second, he contemplated making his escape, but he hesitated an instant too long. His mom flung open the door, and his niece crawled down the steps to clasp his legs. He swung her up into his arms for tickles and kisses.
Keenan winced as Janey jabbed a tiny finger near his eye. “Ouch. Careful, small fry. That hurt.” He moved her hand away. “I need my eyes.”
Janey burst into giggles and stabbed again. Keenan ran up the steps and set her down on the hardwood floor before she could do any more damage.
“I didn’t expect to see you here.” Julia greeted him with a kiss.
Keenan bent to hug his mom. “I’m working Sunday. I just wanted to say hello.”
“That’s lovely. Sarah’s here too.”
Sarah appeared in the doorway wearing a rumpled T-shirt with a handprint decorating one shoulder. From the color, Keenan guessed it was probably yogurt. “Hi, Kee. Didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Likewise.” He kissed her too. “You look like crap. Not working today?”
Her face acquired a familiar harassed expression. “Thanks. Don’t swear in front of the kids. Tommy was sick overnight and can’t go to preschool. I’ll work this evening.”
“You brought him here when he’s sick?” Keenan frowned. “You said you wouldn’t do that again. What about Mom and Pops?”
It wasn’t the first time Sarah had brought her kids around when they were sick. The last time they had colds his mom had developed pneumonia, and his dad was just out of the hospital.
“It’s all right, Keenan. I asked her to bring them here,” Julia said soothingly before Sarah could say anything. “She’s been up all night and needs a break.”
Keenan grunted but gave up. His mom would always be there for her kids and grandkids.
They sat around the table, Keenan talking to his Pops about his new job and the beer he had tried, while Sarah and Julia chatted and the kids played with cars and trains by their feet.
“Wait, shush.” His mom flapped her hand at them.
“What’s wrong?” Keenan asked.
“Officer shooting downtown.”
The conversation died as they turned to look at Julia. She turned up the volume on the radio, and Keenan’s heart skipped a beat, as it did every time they heard that news. His family listened to the grim details, worry etched on their faces. From the moment Karen left the police academy as a rookie cop, it had been a constant fear they never discussed. The radio was never off, just in case something happened. It was a way of life now.
Julia’s phone beeped with a text. She picked it up with a shaking hand and then relaxed and gave them all a wobbly smile. “She’s fine. They all are.”
Keenan breathed again. Knowing how Julia worried, Karen always texted her mom to check in after any incident. She was fine. They all were. Keenan frowned. The wording was different from normal. Karen usually said she and Ramon were okay. They all were. Was she including Nate?
He escaped from the family, pleading the need for fresh air, and found his favorite spot in his parents’ backyard on an old wooden bench. He stared out at the pots along one wall, lovingly tended by his father every week, and tried not to let his fear get the better of him.
It wasn’t just his twin anymore. Now he was scared for Nate. What if something happened to Nate? He knew Karen and Ramon would let him know, but he wouldn’t get an official notification. He wasn’t family, not even a boyfriend, just an acquaintance as far as Nate’s family was concerned. It was selfish, but could he cope with living with the constant worry for Nate as well as Karen and Ramon? He could, but did he want that?
A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts.
“Hey, little brother. Room for one more?” Sarah tousled his hair.
Keenan ducked his head and slid along the bench to make room for his sister. She sat down with a grateful sigh and handed him an iced tea that he accepted with a murmur of thanks.
“You’ve been out here a long time,” she said.
“I needed to think.”
“Oh.”
Keenan knew Sarah wasn’t going to leave it at a simple “oh,” but he wasn’t sure he was ready to talk about what was on his mind. Then, to his surprise, she took his hand and held it in both of hers.
“He’s okay, Keenan.”
He, not she.
He looked at her. “Is it that obvious?”
“A little, yeah.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “You really like Nate, don’t you?”
Keenan sighed. “More than I should.”
Sarah sighed too. “Another member of the family to worry about.”
Tears stung at the back of Keenan’s eyes. Just like that, Nate was family. He had the best siblings in the world.
“We’re going to have to train him to text you,” she said.
“I don’t think we’ve gotten to that stage yet.” Keenan tried to keep the sadness out
of his voice.
“No? He seems to be around all the time.”
“I like having him around.”
Nate wanted to be with him, and Keenan realized his detective was born to be settled down with someone. Keenan just wanted it to be him.
Sarah murmured something inarticulate that might have been agreement, and Keenan realized how tired she was. He put an arm around her shoulders, and she snuggled in. The peace wouldn’t last. One of the kids would soon be out to find their mom. But for now they could enjoy the afternoon sunshine, knowing all was right with their world.
His phone beeped, and he carefully slid it out of his pocket, trying not to disturb Sarah. He fumbled with the buttons.
Karen’s fine.
Keenan grinned at the screen. Nate wanted to reassure him. Awkwardly he typed out a response. Thanks.
She’s already called you.
Yeah. It’s a rule.
I’ll remember that. Then a minute later, You free later?
Tacos and explosions?
You know the way to a man’s heart.
Keenan stared at the screen for a long while before he replied. I do.
Nate could make of that what he wanted.
Sarah stirred in his arms. “Was that Nate?”
He kissed the top of her head. “Yeah. Told me Karen was all right.”
“He’s a keeper, Kee.”
“I know that,” he said. “Perhaps I should get the Lionman to teach me how to lasso him.”
Sarah snickered against his shirt. “I’d pay to watch that.”
“I met him.”
“Who?”
“Lionman.”
She sat up so fast she nearly knocked into his chin as she turned to stare at him, her eyes wide, all sleepiness vanished. “You met Lionman?”
He realized he’d never mentioned it to his family. “His name’s Cris. Good guy.”
“What? How?” she spluttered.
“He comes into Cowboys and Angels, and he needed help at the club. Dan volunteered me.”
Sarah’s eyes were so wide it was comical. She curled her hands around his shirt and yanked him forward. “You are friends with Lionman, and you didn’t tell me?”
“I met Cris Peters, owner of Mane Event,” Keenan corrected. Cris had made that very clear. “Lionman is retired.”
