by Erin R Flynn
The other three were designated already. First was going to be the gardens we didn’t have set up yet. Second was the terrace, which was huge and actually connected, either to the gardens or the third area, which was my super swank, resort-sized pools. Yes, pools, as I had multiple. And hot tubs. One was a cold pool too. But some flowed into others and even actually wrapped around the side of the tower and met up close to the terrace.
Ultimately, the plan was to put in fountains and waterfalls and more, but that was more frivolous and cosmetic given the castle was the only thing we had done and people were spread out all over. We needed some other housing, and now I liked the idea of that first circle of the coven to not only be housing for families of knights, but places for guests, so we were covered any other parties.
Not that I ever wanted to throw one again, but I would probably have to.
“What are you thinking, darling?” Nora asked when I had been quiet several minutes as they kept talking.
“No one can hear us,” Kristof assured me when I glanced around nervously like the ears were getting too much from us. He smiled when I gave him a shocked look. “I have many gifts, my love. I will make sure no one hears our private conversations as that upsets and worries my princess. Speak freely.”
“Thank you,” I sighed, leaning over and cupping his cheek. “Thank you.”
His eyes flashed surprise but then he smiled. “I’m sorry, we didn’t realize how much harder this was on you than we thought. Tell me where your gorgeous mind has landed on deciding what to do.”
“I think over the top always seems to do well and especially from what you’ve said about court stuff,” I answered, glancing over to Matilda. “My soon to be mother-in-law enjoys wild boar, right?” I waited until she nodded. “Then I will have a hundred slaughtered in thanks of the house of Wessex where my husband was born to and for giving your blessing to our marriage. We’ll get them cooking overnight.”
“Well done,” she praised, her eyes dancing with amusement. “Well done indeed. You learn as fast as Jacob says. Yes, if you can manage it.”
Cerdic snorted. “We found a whole warehouse of those spit roasters and seafood boilers. Lots of stuff.”
I nodded. “And Kristof loves dumplings. My fiancé will have a million dumplings of all kinds, one for each day he will love me with all he has.”
“You need more than a million then,” he chuckled. “But yes, that’s good.”
“That’s a lot of dumplings,” Ceawlin snickered.
I shrugged. “Those machines they have in Seattle crank out thirty thousand an hour. They have five and know where to get more. We just need people to make fillings and catch them, bring them here. They’re fancy and easy to do in bulk then. So we have the steaming carts going at the pool or on the terrace. Make it like that party atmosphere.”
I glanced around and met Vitor’s gaze, subtly gesturing with my head for him to come to me. He did, leaning down over my chair… And kissing me.
“Yes, My Princess?” he whispered, his eyes full of fire even as I tried not to shrink away.
“Cut it out,” Kristof seethed. “You can tell she’s afraid. She did it earlier to protect the nobles, not for you to take advantage of her.”
“You’re right,” he agreed, his gaze not leaving mine. “I apologize. My head is full of you and wanting to feel your lips on mine again and again.”
I flushed lava hot and looked away, trying to keep up with the huge shift. “Um, you wanted to guard me, not be mine.”
He chuckled darkly. “You act as if that’s something mutually exclusive.”
“Back off, mate,” Cerdic warned. “She’s got enough stressing her out and more to come.”
“You’re right, but she hasn’t said that,” he sighed. “What can I do for you, My Princess?”
“Please back off,” I whispered, trying not to shake and keep composed. He got mad fast, like Kristof, but his level was way, way higher given how old they were. I was too young to not want to hide under the table. I let out a slow breath when it didn’t happen this time. “I forgot what we were saying.”
“Please don’t be so terrified of me,” Vitor murmured, sounding upset. I couldn’t look at him though, so I didn’t know what his expression told me.
Cerdic cut in and told him what we were talking about.
“Right, could you get a few of the probation members to raid bathing suit stores in Albuquerque? I want gobs of them to have range and over-the-top. Also, Hope knows where to get those fancy, fancy drink fountains we were thinking of doing. I want at least a dozen and tables for the ballroom with them. We’re not doing open bar or trying to keep up with people on that.
“Raid that moonshine place we were at for the bachelorette party and have two flavors of that going. Mixed drinks with juice. One, a wine something. Whatever is easy and can be kept going with minimal work. We need more servers to handle all the areas of courtyard, ballroom, terrace, and pool. Think stuff we have they don’t, like bagels and cream cheese isn’t all that fancy but—”
“But they don’t have cream cheese like we do, and add the smoked salmon and other options, it’s perfect,” he finished for me. “I’ll handle it and make sure all the outposts know of the hiccups so they’re ready to chip in what they can and help.”
“Good, yeah, thanks,” I sighed. “Even if it’s just donuts, do a bazillion and that’s something they can’t. I want a lot of servers too. Every time people turn around I want someone offering them nummies to eat next. Maybe they’ll use their mouths to talk less shit.”
“I understand.”
I was glad he did, and also when he left, letting out a slow, calm breath so it didn’t look like that to anyone watching.
After dinner, it was time for dancing, which I thought over-the-top since there wasn’t much of that from what I saw on rehearsal dinners. But now we weren’t going to have those types of parties the next two days so fine, fancy, fancy tonight. I just wanted the whole thing over with. I’d been whisked off to get another resort online for all the uninvited guests and I was at my limit.
“May I have the honor of this dance?” Kristof asked me, holding his hand out to me. I nodded, accepting it and swallowing a sigh as he pulled me to my feet. He led us out to the dance floor and pulled me close. “You’re sure you can do this?”
“Wilson and Wolfe say I’m fine as long as my partner does most of the heavy lifting and well, me,” I muttered as I moved my hand to his bicep.
“And they are experts?” he checked as we started moving, him leading.
Of course.
“Their mother was a professional ballroom dancer. They’re good and learned from her, but honestly, I think it wasn’t the dancing they were into, but the memories and getting to talk about her. They really loved her.”
“I really love you,” he said quietly as we moved. He cleared his throat when I didn’t say anything. “I’m having a hard time not being hurt at your lack of faith in me.”
“It’s not lack of faith,” I defended, shaking my head when he went to argue. “It’s not, Kristof. People change, their hearts and feelings change, otherwise you’d still hate all princesses. I have all the faith in the world in you. I love you, it’s just life I don’t have faith in. It won’t be constant or easy. It won’t be conducive to everything turning out perfectly.”
“That’s not unfair,” he agreed. “And I see that from your perspective, but from mine, it seems you doubt me.”
“I’m sorry it seems that way.” I thought about how else to say what I was feeling, but I couldn’t seem to find the words to make sense of what was in my head. It was so logical to me and what I was feeling, but I didn’t know how to make them understand. “Darius was my first anything and I met you three right after. It’s not a long time to have a lot of experience.”
“For?”
I bit back a sigh, not wanting to do this right now, but I could feel his need to understand before we took that last step. “There w
ere things said about what would happen after the oath, not much, but some and none of it happened. Fine, I get we can’t really take a human honeymoon on an island somewhere like things used to be, but we could have taken a day.
“There could have been some compromise, but instead, there was none of it and things went off the rails. None of that was even said this time. Everything has been about getting to the oaths, locking me in forever, and that’s the goal.” I swallowed loudly as I stared at his chest instead of his eyes. “I’m just the prize, not a real wife, and that wasn’t what I felt. I’ve adjusted my expectations I guess.”
He cleared his throat and brushed his lips over my temple. “I am sorry for what I said about sleeping with you. It came out harsh and uncaring in my confusion.”
“You can’t help the way you feel,” I whispered, my heart still hurting from that.
“But that is not how I feel. I would lie with you all the nights you wished me.”
“Yeah, that’s what you do to win,” I muttered, letting go of his bicep and moving to pull away.
He wasn’t having any of that, holding me tighter and spinning us. “You are not a trophy or a medal. Yes, you are a prize as you are the best, but not in the way you are feeling. I have contributed to that, I understand that now, and I am sorry. I never meant it that way.” He kissed me when I didn’t answer. “I will show you that things will be better after you are completely mine. I will restore your faith.”
I didn’t want to argue but I also wasn’t sure I had any hope. Jaxon was right that I was spiraling again, and more than that, I was a bit numb to it all, closing myself off so I didn’t hurt anymore.
Because I hurt a lot of the time.
“You really are a hopeless dancer,” he teased me as he went to spin me and I leaned into him so he couldn’t.
“I am, thank you for that, but also, you forget how short my skirt is.”
He turned us and then dipped me, his hand sliding up my naked thigh and cupping my ass. “No, I didn’t. Everyone will see a lot more of you tomorrow and I love this dress, the short skirt, the teasing, and every inch of your body, My Princess.” He smiled when I shivered, pulling me back up. “And I love that you cannot dance without one of us. You will always need us, even if for something this silly.”
That was sort of cute and I bit back a smile as I leaned into him.
Cerdic went next and was just as good of a dancer as Kristof. He made a comment that it was nice to know I wasn’t perfect as there were times I made all of them feel lacking. It was kind of funny but also helped me not feel so stupid.
Other people were dancing by then and after another song, we sat to get our second dessert. There was also a note from Nick saying he spoke with Vitor, Nora, Matilda, and Hanna and got the new plan. It also had the list of everything being served tomorrow, making the terrace the main food spot for a relaxed, over-the-top cookout atmosphere, but with servers bringing it all around. Awesome.
After discussing it a bit more, I approved all of it and people jumped to it, needing to get their asses in gear to start with the boars that would need to cook overnight. It was a good thing old vampires didn’t need much sleep and we had lots of them to help.
James came over and I wondered if he was going to ask me to dance until I saw someone with him. They had decided that my head knight would handle any nobles interested in me as he was loyal only to me, and there would be no politics between courts or trying to bully someone to put in a good word for me. He looked amused when the noble bowed to me, but then introduced us.
I stood, shaking the guy’s hand when he clearly wanted to kiss mine. No. But I did accept his invitation to dance, several people smirking as if it was a good idea to cool some of the interest if word got around I was a bad dancer.
I wasn’t that bad. Well, as long as I wasn’t doing it alone. I could follow movements and copy what I saw, but I had absolutely no rhythm or moves besides bouncing around and shaking it. Fine, that amused me, and I didn’t care when by myself or with friends, but yeah, I didn’t want to do anything that embarrassing with so many people watching.
“It’s quite a court and coven you’ve already built on your own,” he said as we started moving.
I stopped, blinking at him and not caring he tripped over his own feet when I did. I dropped his hand and turned to leave, not even bothering to give him a verbal brushoff.
“Wait, what do you think—”
I gasped as I was moved several feet away, and Petre was now in between us, his hand on the guy’s chest.
“You do not grab at our princess,” he warned the guy. “Remember whose coven you are at and that you are a guest.”
The guy cleared his throat, his eyes simmering with something bad. “I apologize. I merely meant to pull her back to check if she was well as she agreed to dance, but then suddenly went to leave like something was wrong. I believe I deserve an explanation for that.”
I tilted my head and studied him. “You don’t actually. You believe you deserve an explanation for me walking away from you is different than checking I’m okay, especially since I didn’t fall.”
“What is your answer then?” he asked, flinching but not backing down when Petre growled in warning.
“That you’re an asshole,” I answered honestly since he was making a scene. I shrugged when his eyes flashed shock and more anger. “You open with wanting to talk about what I have? That’s what interests you most? Wow, that’s not shallow and ill-mannered. I think I would have been less offended if you spoke to my chest and not my face. Smooth moves, really, I’m swooning.”
“Take a walk outside and cool off,” Petre suggested, but more like ordered the guy when I turned away.
“You got that guy’s name for the ‘no way in hell’ list, right?” I asked James.
“Yes, My Princess,” he chuckled, shaking his head at me.
I mentally shrugged. What did they expect? There was enough crazy without even going through the motions with a douche like that. And I didn’t need any more reasons to feel like a prize and nothing more.
“Anyone else interested needs to sit with you for an interview,” I added, shrugging when I got the shocked looks. “We don’t know these people. Some weren’t invited. Screw it. That’s a safety risk since I’m so young.” I glanced at Nora. “Tell me you wouldn’t agree or handle it before anyone got near your daughter.”
“You’re absolutely right,” she agreed. “They’re taking advantage of your youth and lack of parents to make them go through the proper steps.”
“You’re thinking of Clarence,” Jaxon worried, swearing under his breath when I looked away. “Did he remind of you of that asshole?”
I gave a quick nod, focused on James. “Grill them. No one gets near me without it.” I leaned in and kissed his cheek. “Protect me, my head knight.”
“Always,” he breathed, squeezing my hip before I pulled away.
Good. No more nobles thinking they could push me around or take over. I couldn’t handle that.
The rest of the party went well and even all the bitchy, judgmental people seemed impressed, especially given they all knew it was triple what we’d invited. I checked in with Nick a few times and things were coming together well, everyone more than willing to jump in, especially after word was passed around we were taking a few days off to relax after the guests left.
All of us. We needed it.
When the night was finally over and people were heading to their accommodations, all with full stomachs and maybe a bit too much to drink, I just wanted my bed. I said goodnight to everyone, shocking more than a few. They’d handle the clean up and probably wouldn’t want me to. Plus, I was tired. I was exhausted from everything and I didn’t care if made me a baby.
Stress was tiring. My PMS was tiring and more than that, I realized now that I had people I cared about or close to me that I didn’t get bitchy during my cycle like some women, but insecure. I felt almost paranoid and doubted myself. It wasn’t
excessive levels, but I noticed it, like when Trisha snorted at me, I didn’t know she was amused, but I wondered if maybe she didn’t like me all that much.
So yeah, good thing to learn about myself, and I really wasn’t a fan of it, but what could I do? At least I knew now so maybe I could curb it sometimes. Maybe.
Darius met me at the elevator to wish me goodnight and to tell me I looked beautiful. I muttered a thank you and got on, glad when he didn’t try to, but Jaxon did, Cerdic and Kristof looking like they were planning to do the same.
“Um, I want to be alone tonight,” I admitted, not pushing the button to go up yet. “Night before the wedding rules, right?”
“Not sure I’d be included in that though,” Jaxon muttered, clearing his throat when I didn’t say anything. “You’re worrying us, Inez.”
I gave him an annoyed look before shoving at his chest. He stumbled off the elevator because I’d surprised him, the shock in his eyes when I met them. “This is why I don’t tell you guys stuff. Nice way to make me feel guilty and like this is all me.” I hit the button harder than needed. “I’ll try not to worry you anymore and keep my mouth shut too.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he argued, growling as the doors closed in his face. Good, now we were both miffed. Asshole. It wasn’t like I wanted to be upset or pissed. I wanted to be happy. I was reacting to what was going on around me, how people were making me feel, and the problems we had.
I shook my head as I got off on the floor for my bedroom. Right, I was sure someone would give me a line next about not letting people control how I felt or dictating my emotions. Because it was that fucking easy? There was some magical switch somewhere I’d never found?
“Life would be so much easier if there was,” I sighed as I turned to stare at myself in the mirror. I didn’t even recognize myself. Forget the makeup, dress, or even the heels in the fucking apocalypse, and still I didn’t recognize myself. I looked away, not liking where my mind was heading. “It’s still a better life than what I had.”
