by J. H. Croix
“Love you…” Her words came out with a moan.
I adjusted the angle of my subtle rock into her to create a little more friction where we were joined. My hand slid between us, and I teased over her clit. Just as she bit her lip with a ragged moan, and her channel squeezed tightly, my release hit me and I cried out. The pleasure was intense, and trying to catch my breath was not fun.
“Flynn,” she murmured. She pressed a kiss to one corner of my mouth and then the other. “I gave you that one, but no more until the doctor says it’s okay.”
“She already did,” I insisted. I had actually asked the doctor about this. “She just said my breathing might hurt a little.”
Daphne's lips kicked up at one corner before her smile faded. On an exhalation, she dipped her head into my neck. “I was scared,” she said against my skin.
I stroked my hand over her hair as my heart kicked fast and hard. “I was too. I was afraid I wasn’t gonna get a chance to tell you how I felt.”
Daphne lifted her head, tears glittering in her green eyes. “Don’t you dare die on me.”
“Not planning on it, princess.”
The following morning, Cat wrinkled her nose as she stared at me, a sure sign that she was worrying about something.
“What’s up?” I asked as I spread some cream cheese on a fresh toasted bagel. Aside from everything else Daphne made in the kitchen, she baked homemade bagels. We had all discovered the sheer perfection of them and no bagel would ever do other than hers.
“Am I still grounded?” Cat asked.
I glanced at the calendar hanging on the wall beside the refrigerator in our private kitchen. “If I recall, you’re un-grounded officially tomorrow.”
Cat let out a dramatic sigh. “I was hoping you might shorten it by a day. After everything that happened.”
I took a bite of my bagel, closing my eyes and letting out a moan. After I finished chewing, I replied, “I realize we all had a scare yesterday, but my ribs are sore, and that’s about it. Is there a reason you’re asking other than the usual?”
“Well, you’re in love with Daphne, so I thought you might like the place to yourself tonight,” Cat said, trying and failing to keep from smiling.
I couldn’t hold back my laughter. “Ah, do you think I’m too distracted? Just tell me what you want to do tonight. Let’s cut to the chase.”
“Tara invited me to spend the night, and I’d really like to go.”
I knew I shouldn’t give in, but I seriously wanted to. For exactly the reason Cat said.
“Will Jonathon be there? Because that’s a hard no.”
Cat shook her head quickly. “No. It’s just girls. You can call Tara’s mom to confirm.”
“I will. I won’t agree until after I talk to her, okay?”
Cat nodded quickly.
After another bite of my bagel, I asked, “How are you with what happened? Any problems at school?”
“No. I mean, he talked a little shit, but I can deal with it.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to talk to his parents or the school?”
I tried to keep the anger out of my tone. The truth was, every time I thought about that little punk and him pressuring Cat, I wanted to bend a crowbar in half.
“I’m sure. It won’t happen again. Now, I just have to figure out how to not like guys who are stupid jerks.” She looked down, her cheeks flushing as she traced her finger in a meandering path on the countertop.
“Don’t beat yourself up. High school isn’t easy.”
Cat had already moved on. “Are you going to marry Daphne?” Her eyes lifted to meet mine again.
The hope contained in her gaze cracked my heart a little. Cat missed our mom. Nora tried, we all tried, but Cat had been so young when our mom died.
My heart kicked up a racket in my chest. Because I did want to marry Daphne, but everything was so fresh and fragile. I sure as hell didn’t know how Daphne felt about that right now.
So I gave Cat the truth. “I love Daphne, and I want to marry her. But you know she’s been through a lot, so it’ll happen when she’s ready.”
Cat bit her lip and nodded somberly. “I’ll talk her into it.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Please don’t.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Daphne
A few days later, Flynn winced as he turned to reach for his T-shirt resting on the bathroom counter. My heart gave a little squeeze in response. He was healing, but he was being a man about it and trying to pretend he was fine all the time.
My eyes traveled over the fading bruises on his side, and a shaft of fear pierced me. Not for this moment, but a memory of the moment when we got the call about the accident and the hours waiting at the hospital.
I learned this when Brandon became sick and died, but it was strange how moments could bring shocking clarity. I’d already acknowledged my love for Flynn, but I’d tricked myself into thinking I would be okay without him. The moment I wondered if his life was in danger, the urgency of my feelings became paramount.
Flynn began to pull the T-shirt over his head, and I called out from where I stood just beyond the doorway by the dresser. “Don’t you need to wear your support band?”
Flynn’s head whipped up, and he cast me a sheepish smile. “Fine.” He reached for the support band that he was supposed to wear around his upper rib cage. He dutifully put it on and carefully pulled his T-shirt down.
He walked out of the bathroom and stopped in front of me. Tracing a finger lightly along my jaw, he dusted a kiss over my lips and then stepped back. “What are you doing today?”
“Cat wants more cooking lessons. Instead of spending the day mostly alone in the kitchen, I’ll spend it with her.”
“You don’t mind, do you?”
“Of course not. I love hanging out with Cat. She’s always funny, and she really does want to learn how to cook. You’re not flying today, right?”
Pulling a clean T-shirt out of the dresser, I quickly took off the dirty one I was wearing and threw it in the hamper. Flynn interrupted me when his hands slid around my waist, and he pressed a hot kiss on the side of my neck.
“I have to get downstairs,” I said as I turned in his arms.
“Well then, you shouldn’t have come up here to change,” he countered with a slow, belly-flipping grin.
I giggled. “I got flour all over me. Plus, what are you doing up here instead of down in your apartment?”
Flynn shrugged. “I just want to be where you are, and I woke up here. When can we talk about you moving downstairs? It’s silly for you to stay up here. I want you with me every night.”
“Tonight,” I promised. “We already talked about it. I just need to make time to move my stuff.” I stepped back quickly and finished yanking my T-shirt on. I couldn’t be half-naked near Flynn and not end up tangled up with him. Cat was waiting for me in the kitchen.
“You’re not flying today, right?” I repeated, keeping my tone stern.
“Nope. Gabriel is. On the way back, we’ll be bringing Elias home from the hospital.”
“Oh, thank goodness!” I clapped my hands together lightly. “I’m sure he’s ready to be home.”
“Yeah, he’s a cranky ass, is what he is.”
A few hours later, I was drying my hands on a towel when Cat rested a hand on her hip and leveled me with a sharp look.
“What?” I asked.
“Will you marry Flynn?”
She derailed my train of thought so completely I dropped the towel on the floor.
“What?” I leaned down to scoop the towel up. “Are you asking on Flynn’s behalf?”
“You two obviously love each other, and I would like it to be official. I talked to him about it, and he’s not doing anything about it, so I’m asking you.”
“Cat, I’m not sure what to say.”
“Well, you can tell me you’re going to ask Flynn to marry you. That would be the answer I would like.” Cat was so earnest my hear
t cracked a little for her. She lost her mother at a young age, and by all accounts, her father hadn’t been much of a parent.
Despite how tight she was with her siblings, I could see Cat looked up to me and sought guidance in a way she didn’t with her brothers and sister. The moment that thought passed through my mind, I almost laughed, which was kind of sad. Because of the many things I had gotten wrong in life, I thought I’d been a pretty good mother to Brandon.
I set the dish towel on the counter and crossed over to Cat. “I’m not sure what’s going to happen with Flynn and me, but don’t worry about it.” I rested my hands on her shoulders and gave them a light squeeze.
Cat wrinkled her nose and turned to lift a ball of dough out of the bowl where it had been rising. She set it on the floured surface on the counter and punched it down before she began kneading it. In case I missed the memo, she was nervous.
“I just really like you, and you’re the best thing that ever happened to Flynn. He’s not a cranky ass all the time now that you’re around,” she said quietly.
“Good to know,” I said lightly. “I promise I’ll talk to Flynn. Please don’t worry. I’m not planning on going anywhere, okay?”
“Promise?” Cat, for all of her toughness, gave away what a softie she was time and again.
“Promise.”
That night, Cat was spending the night with a friend. Flynn had gotten back later than planned with Elias and Gabriel. I helped him get Elias situated in one of the guest rooms downstairs. Elias would need a little help while he was healing, much to his annoyance. He had crutches for getting around on his injured leg, and he still needed to change bandages on his side where a nasty gash had required stitches, and they’d repaired his spleen. By the time we left him, he was already nodding off in bed.
I carried some leftover pizza I’d made for the guests into Flynn’s place. “Dinner,” I said as I held the pan aloft and crossed over to the smaller kitchen, setting it on the counter.
A grateful look crossed Flynn’s face. “Oh, thank God. I’m starving.”
“You start eating, and I’ll grab some beer. Any preferences?”
“A pale ale if we’ve got any.”
Hurrying back into the main kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of pale ale for Flynn and a bottle of mead for myself. I’d gotten kind of hooked on the honey mead they made at the brewery in town. I made sure all the lights were turned off and returned to the apartment, closing the door behind me before crossing over to slide my hips on a stool across from Flynn. Still chewing, Flynn opened the drawer behind him and tossed me a bottle opener.
I passed his beer over after I opened it and took a swallow of my mead. “When’s the last time you ate?” I asked when he finally paused to breathe between bites.
He cast me a wry smile. “Not since you fed me this morning.”
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t need to work so hard you forget to eat.”
He gave a nonchalant shrug. “You reminding me to take care of myself is only one reason I need you,” he said simply. The sudden gravity in his words stole my breath for a moment before my heart kicked off, drumming at a wild beat.
I waited until he finished off his second piece of pizza. There were two more to go, and I didn’t doubt he was going to eat them all. Flynn ate in stages. He usually got beyond being ravenous and then paused before finishing off a meal. This was a man who loved food and savored every bite.
When he leaned back on his stool and paused to sip his beer, I said, “Cat talked to me today.”
His alert gaze held mine. I tried to collect my thoughts into something sensible. He set his beer down and leaned one elbow on the counter as he reached over to catch one of my hands in his. When I looked into his eyes, my heart went a little crazy again, tripping and stumbling before gathering itself into a thundering beat.
“Cat’s impatient. I promised her I’d ask you to marry me when I thought you were ready. I’m not really sure when the best timing is, but I don’t want to make myself out to be a liar. I thought maybe I could just tell you I’m yours forever. When and if you wanna make it official, all you have to do is tell me. I know you’ve been through a lot. I’m guessing you never meant for Alaska to be anything more than a crazy trip.”
It wasn’t until that last sentence that I realized Flynn was nervous. This man who was so confident about everything was afraid maybe he didn’t own my heart.
I laced my fingers in his. “I don’t want to make a liar out of you,” I said, feeling my lips tug into a smile.
“What do you mean?” he asked, his eyes searching and intent.
“Oh, my God. I love you. Didn’t I already make that obvious? Maybe this started out as a trip, but you’re gonna have to kick me out at this point. I don’t need Cat being impatient to push me to make the decision I’ve already made. I’m not going anywhere.”
I rose from my stool and rounded the end of the counter, just as Flynn spun to face me. Stepping between his knees, I lifted my hand to cup his cheek. “We can make it official whenever you’re ready.”
“That was yesterday,” he murmured.
I promised myself I’d never get married again. I told myself it was stupid and pointless.
Yet I hadn’t counted on really falling in love, the kind of love that brands itself on your heart and soul, the kind of love where a piece of paper making it official gave me a sense of freedom I’d never known before.
Epilogue
Daphne
A year and a half later or so
“Are you sure?” Coffee sloshed over the edge of the mug when Flynn set it abruptly on the counter.
“Of course I’m sure.” I could barely hear my own words over the joy rushing through me. It felt like a warm breeze, blowing the windows open around my heart.
Flynn stepped to me, lifting me suddenly into his strong embrace. His hand cupped the back of my head.
“Of course I’m sure,” I repeated in a mumble into the side of his neck.
Flynn leaned his head back, his eyes sweeping over my face. “How are you feeling about this?”
This being the fact I just found out I was pregnant. We’d been trying for several months now, not in the active sense. Well, unless you count the fact that we could hardly keep our hands off each other, but that was our baseline. We’d decided to see what happened, but I refused to obsess over it and track my cycle. Because that would’ve made me crazy.
I took a quick breath. “I’m good. I’m really good.”
Cat came skipping through the door into the living room, immediately dropping her backpack on the floor and kicking off her shoes. The second she looked over at us, she announced, “You’re pregnant.”
“How in the world do you know?” I mused with a laugh.
“You have a look. Plus, I can actually read Flynn’s mind.”
Flynn eased me down from his hold, angling to my side and keeping one arm firmly around my waist. “God help me if you can.”
Cat’s smile was brilliant as she skipped over to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. “What’s for dinner?”
I bit my lip to keep from laughing. The joy swelling in my heart was so immense my chest actually ached from it. “Salmon marinated in balsamic vinegar and maple syrup with asparagus and rice.”
Flynn let out a moan. “Damn. When’s dinner?”
Cat giggled when she closed the refrigerator and rested her hip against the kitchen counter. “I’ll pass on the afterschool snack.” Her gaze sobered as she looked over at us. “Are you excited?”
“Of course,” I said. “We’d prefer to keep this quiet until I make it through the first trimester. Can you handle that?”
Cat made the cross over her heart and twisted an imaginary lock over her lips before tossing the imaginary key over her shoulder. “I won’t tell anyone. You didn’t have to tell me.”
Flynn chuckled. “We didn’t tell you. You guessed.”
We’d actually talked to Cat about the possibility. I’d worri
ed about how she might feel about it. Adolescence continued to be a bumpy ride for her. She was too strong-willed and sensitive for it to be easy. She was six months shy of turning eighteen and still pushing the limits. I’d been worried that if we even considered having a baby, she might feel left out.
To my surprise, she had been one hundred percent on board with the idea and wanted me to get pregnant immediately.
“We’ll let Nora and Grant know, but that’s it for now,” I added.
Cat bit her lip and nodded. The second Flynn let his arm fall away from me, she dashed across the kitchen and flung her arms around his neck. He caught her easily. After her fierce hug, he arched a brow. “What was that about?”
“Everything is just better. We feel like a family now.”
Flynn tweaked her ponytail. “We were always a family. Do me a favor and try to get through two weeks without me getting a call from the principal.”
Cat grinned unabashedly. “I’ll try.”
A bit later while I was getting started with dinner, Cat found her way into the kitchen as she did most days after school. Without me asking, she immediately pulled out the dough I’d prepped that morning for fresh rolls and began separating it into small balls to bake.
After a few quiet moments, her voice broke into the silence. “Are you worried?”
Sliding my gaze sideways, I found her eyes, so similar to Flynn’s, looking at me with a twitch of worry between her brows.
“It would be impossible for me to say I’m not worried. Statistically speaking, any child is more likely to die in a car accident than to be diagnosed with the same cancer Brandon had. I think it’ll be okay.”
Cat, who’d already experienced her own share of early loss, looked back down at the dough and continued deftly dividing it into even segments.
Another moment later, she caught me in one of her fierce hugs. When I stepped back, her eyes were bright with tears. “I’m just so glad you’re here.”
