“What?” Jake was confused. “Is – is something wrong? We’ve only been sitting here for, like, ten minutes – come on, I’ll get you another drink.”
She shook her head. “In ten minutes, you’ve mentioned your roommate three times – I now know her career plans, her religious background, her birth month, and her musical tastes, but all you’ve told me about yourself in that time was that you’re majoring in English, you work at a bar, you like the same music she does, you spend a lot of time together, and you’re suffering from unrequited love – I don’t need to be a psych major to see that.”
“No, I’m not,” Jake protested, following her outside. “Miriam and I are friends – best friends – but that’s it, I swear.”
“You might not be dating her,” Sadie shrugged, “but you’re definitely involved emotionally, even if it’s just one-sided. You didn’t mention anyone other than her the whole time we were sitting there – you barely talked about yourself.”
“So I talked about her – I told you, she’s my best friend! She’s a big part of my life,” he argued.
“I get that,” she nodded. “But it sounds like she’s the biggest part of your life, and that’s a red flag for me. Sorry. See you around.” She walked away, leaving Jake standing outside the coffeehouse, dumbfounded.
***
Jake had not gone into detail with his roommates about the failed date; he’d just told them it wasn’t going to work out. They were all supportive and suggested he keep looking for other prospects, but Jake knew it was a lost cause until he could get his Miriam-related word vomit under control. He was paying more attention to the conversations he had with people throughout the day, and it had become apparent that he couldn’t go more than a couple of minutes without mentioning her name. There was no way he could make it through another date until something changed.
At half past two in the afternoon on Halloween – a Friday – Miriam bounced into Mack’s wearing a black Lycra catsuit, matching black cat ears, and black boots with a sturdy heel. “Me-ow,” Jake greeted her, grinning devilishly.
“And happy Halloween to you too, Mr. I’m-Too-Cool-For-A-Costume,” Miriam responded, sitting down at “their” table by the kitchen. “I’m starving – thanks for having lunch ready.” She dug into her soup and sandwich.
“No problem,” Jake replied, starting on his lunch as well. “So I’m liking your costume, here – are you supposed to be Catwoman or something?”
She nodded, swallowing a bite of sandwich and reaching for her drink. “Yup! I didn’t want a mask, though, because I don’t want anything blocking my vision. I’ll put on some makeup before tonight; that’ll be just as good.”
“And what, pray tell, is happening tonight?” he inquired.
Miriam grinned at him. “I’m so glad you asked! How would you like to accompany me in taking my cousin trick-or-treating in Plano?”
“I don’t think I’d like it at all,” he snarked back at her.
“Jake!” she whined, stomping her foot. “You said you’d hang out with me tonight!”
“Yeah, here in town – I thought we’d watch a movie at home or something.” He rolled his eyes.
She made Bambi eyes at him. “But Sarah’s staying with my parents because hers are out of town, and mine are going to a charity ball–”
“Well, of course they are,” he nodded.
“–and they asked me to babysit and take her trick-or-treating and I couldn’t say no and disappoint her!” Her bright blue eyes widened impossibly. “Please, Jake?”
“Ugh, fine, I’ll do it – stop looking at me like that before I promise to do anything else I don’t want to do.” He shook his head. “You have real power, you know that? And I don’t even have a costume.”
Miriam bit her lip, her eyes getting huge again. He sighed. “I do have a costume?”
She nodded. “I put something together for you from stuff we had lying around the house.”
“Is it Batman?” he asked warily. “Because that would be cool and we’d match, but I’m not really a fan of masks either, or anything that covers my head, like a hat – you remember that time Fink tried to make me try on his new fedora.”
“Don’t worry,” she assured him. “I took all of that into account. Your costume has nothing to do with mine, actually...and you’ll just have to wait and see what it is.”
***
“Seriously? This is what you came up with?” Jake asked exasperatedly for the fifth time that evening as they waited for someone to open the Silvers’ door. He was wearing Miriam’s red-and-gold scarf that she’d knitted herself, Fink’s fake hipster glasses with the thick black frames that he wore when he was going on a date and wanted to look “like an intellectual,” his own jeans (for a change), and a black cable-knit sweater of Damian’s.
“Yes, and you make a very handsome wizard,” Miriam giggled.
“This isn’t fair,” he grumbled, fingering the zig-zag line she’d drawn on his forehead with pink lipliner that Libby had left in Fink’s bathroom before the breakup. “You get to wear a sexy costume and I’m dressed as a children’s book character.”
“They’re not just children’s books, they’re for everyone,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “And this is not a sexy costume.”
Jake snorted. “Sure. It’s just skintight because that’s what all the kids are wearing these days.” He wrinkled his nose. “Ugh, that is what all the kids are wearing these days, isn’t it?”
She was horrified. “Is it really inappropriate? I mean, everything is covered up – it wasn’t my intention–”
“Calm down, you look fine,” he assured her. “As sexy costumes go, it’s pretty classy and on the tamer side. Still leaves something to the imagination.”
Miriam sighed in relief as her father opened the door. “Hi, sweetie – hello, Jake! Sarah is beyond thrilled that you two are taking her trick-or-treating tonight,” Warren Silver informed them, leading them into the main living room. A young girl was waiting for them on the couch – she had Miriam’s long, curly brown hair and blue eyes, and she could just as easily have been her sister rather than her cousin.
“Miriam!” the girl shrieked, jumping up to hug her. “I’m so glad you’re here!”
“I’m happy to see you, too, Sarah,” Miriam laughed, patting the girl on the back. “Your costume is spectacular – you know that word, right?” Sarah nodded. She was decked out in a sparkly blue leotard and white tights, silver Mary Janes, a set of glittery pink wings, and a silver tiara.
“I’m a fairy princess!” Sarah beamed. “And you’re Catwoman! And your friend is Harry Potter – he’s my favorite book character!”
“I’m glad to hear that, sweetie – Harry Potter is being played by my friend Jake tonight,” Miriam explained. “He’s going to come trick-or-treating with us.”
“It’s very nice to meet you, Jake,” Sarah told him politely. “My name is Sarah Hardt – like the body part, but not spelled the same – and I’m seven and people say I’m ‘pre-coash-us.’“ She paused for breath. “How old are you?”
Jake smiled in spite of himself; she was a cute kid. He wondered briefly if this was what Miriam had been like as a child. “I’m twenty-four,” he told her. “And it’s nice to meet you, too. I think the word you were trying to say is ‘precocious,’ and I believe that people say that about you, absolutely. Are you ready to go get some candy?”
“Yeah!” she cried, grabbing the empty pillowcase lying on the couch where she’d been sitting. “Let’s go!”
They spent three hours canvassing the huge, fancy neighborhood, and by 8:30, the sky was completely dark and Jake was carrying Sarah’s heavy pillowcase. “This is quite a haul,” he commended Sarah. “This should feed your sugar cravings for a month, easy.”
“Oh, I’m not going to eat any of the candy,” Sarah replied dismissively, skipping down the sidewalk.
“What? Why not?” Miriam asked, limping slightly. Her boots were beautiful, but her f
eet and ankles were killing her.
“Well, there’s a girl in my class named Jillian, and her dad doesn’t have a job anymore so she had to move to an apartment in another part of McKinney, and she couldn’t even bring all of her toys because there wasn’t enough room!” Sarah told them. “Her mom works at night and her dad is out of town looking for another job, so her grandma is staying with her tonight at the apartment but she’s really old and can’t take her trick-or-treating...plus her parents couldn’t buy her a costume and her mom works a lot so she didn’t have time to make her one. I was going to invite her to come trick-or-treating with us, but we’re too far away.” Sarah sighed deeply. “So I’m bringing my candy to school on Monday to give to her.”
“That’s really nice of you, Sarah!” Jake was impressed – this seven-year-old girl had a heart of pure gold, just like her cousin. “I’m sure that will make Jillian feel better.” He glanced at Miriam, who had tears in her eyes from the story.
“Oh, Sarah, what a sweet thing to do for your friend!” Miriam sniffled, touched by the little girl’s kindness. “Your parents will be so proud of you – I know I am.”
Sarah just shrugged. “I’m not doing it so anyone will be proud of me – I’m just doing the right thing like Mommy and Daddy always tell me to.” They had arrived back at the house, and Jake had an idea.
“I don’t know about you two, but smelling all this candy is making me kind of hungry – does anyone want frozen yogurt?” he asked.
“I do! I do!” Sarah jumped up and down. “Can I still wear my costume?”
“Of course you can,” Miriam assured her. “Let’s put your candy inside the house, and we’ll go get you a treat.”
***
At nearly two in the morning, Jake stumbled into the house with Miriam hoisted over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. “I hope you’re enjoying the view back there,” he joked, kicking the door shut behind him.
Miriam reached down to smack his behind, making him yelp. “I sure am. Can you just drop me on the couch and get me some ice? I’m a little afraid I strained my ankle when I tripped getting out of the car.”
“You think so?” he replied, flipping on the light switch. “Oh, my – Jesus Christ, what the hell!” He nearly dropped Miriam as he took in the sight of half-naked Fink and Libby making out on the couch.
Libby grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch to cover her breasts as Fink just leaned back and grinned. “Oh, yeah, soak it up, kids. We’re back together.”
“Are they naked?” Miriam shrieked, still facing away over Jake’s shoulder. “I sit on that couch!”
“Everyone’s pants are on,” Libby assured her, slipping her bra and top back on underneath the blanket. “Why are you up there, sweetie? Are you hurt, or has Jake given into his more caveman-like tendencies?”
“I fell – these boots you gave me are cute, but terrible for anything other than sitting still,” Miriam complained. “Jake, never mind the couch – can you just bring me upstairs? I’m exhausted.”
Libby had gone to the kitchen for ice and handed a pack to Jake. “See you guys in the morning!” she called up the stairs as Jake dutifully carried Miriam up to her room and set her down on the bed. Kharma meowed from her spot next to Miriam’s pillow, having been jarred awake by their presence.
“Fink, feed the cat!” Jake yelled, and shooed Kharma away. “Do you want some help with the boots?” he asked Miriam.
“Yeah, if you don’t mind,” she winced. He slowly and carefully began to ease the boots down her calves, inch by inch, pausing at her sharp intake of breath when he reached her left ankle. “No, keep going,” she urged him. “I just want these off so I can relax and go to sleep.”
He got both boots all the way off. “Can you get undressed on your own?” he asked uncomfortably, eyeing her swollen ankle and the tight catsuit she had on.
“Um...maybe?” She tried to stand and walk, but faltered. “Can you just help me get to the bathroom so I can take my contacts out? Maybe I’ll just sleep in this; it’s…comfortable.”
Jake scooped her back up into his arms and walked her to the bathroom so she could take care of her nighttime routine of removing her contacts and brushing her teeth. Once he had her settled back on her bed, he asked, “Are you sure you want to sleep in that? It doesn’t look ideal for your ankle. I mean, you could get under the blanket and that way I could probably help you without seeing anything...or I could go get Libby, if you’d like.” Suddenly, the sound of Fink and Libby’s muffled noises wafted up the stairs, and both of them felt nauseated. “Or not.” Jake shuddered.
“Ugh!” Miriam wrinkled her nose. “Okay, we’re both adults here – let me get under the blanket so we can get this over with. Can you grab me some PJ’s from the second drawer?”
He rifled through the dresser drawer, coming up with a pair of blue plaid flannel pants he knew she favored and a matching top. “Is this okay?” He turned back to her to find her struggling with the zipper that went down her back. “Do you want some help?”
She sighed, defeated. “Yeah, this was easier to get on than it is to take off,” she replied, turning her back to him, and he unzipped the suit down to the base of her spine, revealing black bra straps and the top of her matching panties.
He coughed. “Okay, you’re unzipped.”
Miriam winced again as she climbed under the covers and wriggled out of the top half of the suit, pulling on the pajama top. “Okay, this is the part I need help with – my ankle is killing me, so be gentle, okay?” She shimmied the suit down past her waist. “Just pull it off slowly.”
Jake did as he was instructed, reminding himself that this was a completely nonsexual situation and he was simply helping out a friend...by undressing her. Not awkward at all. He tossed the suit at her desk chair and handed her the baggy flannel pants. “Here, see if you can get these on and I’ll grab an extra pillow from the couch so we can elevate your ankle and get the ice on it.”
When he returned, Miriam was fully dressed in her pajamas with her left leg peeking out of the blankets, wincing yet again. He carefully lifted her leg and slid the pillow underneath before setting the ice pack on top of her ankle. “Let’s see...we don’t want that to fall off during the night – oh, here, let’s try this.” He wrapped one of her extra blankets around her ankle, the ice pack, and the pillow snugly. “How’s that?”
“I think it’ll do,” Miriam yawned. “Thanks, Jake. You’re a life-saver.”
“No problem,” he waved her off. “If it’s still swollen in the morning, I’ll take you to the ER.”
She shook her head. “I’m sure it’ll be fine by then. This isn’t the first time I’ve tripped over nothing.”
“Okay, well, good night.” Jake nodded, and he went to bed.
Chapter Fourteen
“So, I have an announcement to make,” Miriam began. The five of them were gathered in their booth at Mack’s the Saturday evening before Thanksgiving for open mic. “My parents asked me to invite all of you guys to Thanksgiving at their house this year.”
“Well, Libby and I were going to be there anyway, since my parents decided to take that trip to Greece by themselves – Shoshanna’s just going to stay in Austin,” Fink remarked. Miriam and Jake shared a brief glance at the mention of Fink’s sister.
“I could ask my granny if she’d mind me not coming home,” Damian mused. “I’d be saving a lot of gas, and I can always go home during Winter Break.”
“I don’t know…” Jake scratched his head. “My mom’s been kind of weird lately. I’ll ask, though.”
He called his mother the next morning on his way back from the gym – Damian and Fink had wanted to stay longer, so he’d decided to just walk home in the crisp November air by himself. This way, he didn’t have to feel bad about not doing as many reps with the free weights as his roommates had – he could make it up with a little extra cardio.
“Hi, Mom,” he said when his mother answered the phone. “How are you
?”
“I’m wonderful, Jacob – what’s new?” she asked. “I just heard from you two days ago; I didn’t expect you to call until next week before you leave.”
“Well, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about – Miriam’s parents invited us all to come to their house for Thanksgiving,” he explained.
His mother paused. “Oh,” she replied. “I kind of had somebody I wanted you to meet – I’ve been seeing someone, and it’s getting sort of...serious.”
“Really?” His eyes bugged out a little bit and he stopped walking, concentrating on the phone in his hand. His mother hadn’t dated since his dad left them when Jake was only eight years old. “Um, what’s his name?”
“Carl,” she answered a little dreamily, and he made a face. “We’ve been seeing each other since June. I met him at the supermarket, if you can believe it!” She paused again. “Well, no, actually, I didn’t – we met online. But the supermarket line sounded better, didn’t it?”
“How you met the guy isn’t important as long as he’s not a serial killer,” Jake remarked, continuing back to the house.
Love Thy Roommate Page 14
