“Holy shit,” Joker mumbled.
“I don’t remember anything after that,” Rafa went on. “I remember waking up in a warehouse. I had a breathing tube down my throat, a feeding tube.” Rafa hung his head. “Franco gave me an ultimatum. Either comply or die. I looked into his eyes and… they were blank. No emotion, ya know.” He looked around the small group. “I knew right then, if I died, Angelica and my mother would, too. Except for them, it would be a lot more painful and a hell of a lot longer. So,” he shrugged, “I agreed.”
“And the rest is history?” Ink asked.
Rafa shook his head. “No. The stuff Franco is doing, the stuff he is getting away with – he needs to be stopped. But he has some powerful people in his pockets.”
“Like whom?”
Rafa turned to see that even more people had gathered. At some point in his storytelling, every member of the DHMC had joined them. He wasn’t sure how much they had heard, but he didn’t care. They all needed to hear the truth so they could know just what they had gotten involved in.
“Politicians,” Rafa answered. “In the US and other countries, too. The FBI. He has one agent who works for him pretty regularly.”
“Do you know his name?” Diesel asked.
“Williams… something,” Rafa replied. “I’m not sure what his first name is.”
“Elgin.”
Rafa turned back to Jasmine. “Yeah,” he said, thinking the name sounded familiar. “I think… but, how…”
“He’s my father,” she replied, all the bubbliness gone from her voice. She looked behind Rafa to someone else and asked, “Can I kill him now?”
He had no idea what that was all about, so he looked back and forth between them as he waited on Sledge to answer her question.
“As soon as we find him,” Sledge said, “Your man can kill him. But you will not be killing anyone.”
If Rafa didn’t know any better, he could have sworn he heard Jasmine whine. Ooookay. What had he gotten involved in?
“My father tried to kill me,” Jasmine blurted. “And Sledge won’t let me get the payback that I believe I deserve.”
“Because you wouldn’t be able to live with yourself, shitcake,” Tinker commented.
Jasmine narrowed her eyes at Tinker.
The conversations around him exploded as everyone joined in. He looked around, trying to get as much information as he could, but there was just too much of it and too many people talking at once. Rafa found himself struggling to keep up.
And again, he wondered just exactly what he’d stumbled into.
Chapter Thirteen
Stephanie
She heard every word, well almost every word.
Steph sat on the steps, with her mom on one side and her sister on the other. She stared down at the ground, lost in her head. Hearing Rafa talk about the day she had lost him, triggered something inside of her and she felt as if she had been transported back in time to that horrible day.
The fear. The blood. The loss.
It was all right there. Vivid and alive in her mind. She remembered the feel of him in her arms. His eyes fluttering shut as he whispered how sorry he was. She remembered screaming out his name, shaking him, begging him to wake up, to not leave her.
She sucked in a breath and pulled herself from her hell. She looked around the crowd then to her mom.
“It’s okay, honey,” her mom said. “Just breathe.”
“We got you,” Ava whispered, laying her head on Steph’s shoulder. “We’re right here.”
They always are.
Her mom and sister had been her rock all those days ago. And even now, they had an innate sense of knowing when she needed them. When everything had happened, they had sat with her for hours on end as she cried. Silent protectors, watching out for her when she didn’t have the strength to watch out for herself. Her mother did all the motherly things as Ava spent so many nights sleeping beside her just so she wouldn’t wake up alone. And even now, they were right beside her knowing how much that day still affected her.
But he’s back, she told herself. He’s alive and he’s here.
Knowing that should have helped her, but instead, it only brought her more fear. What if she lost him again? What if next time, it was for real? How did she let go of the past and live in the present?
I don’t know… And that was Steph’s problem – she didn’t know. The lack of answers ate at her and held her hostage in her head.
She felt a tap on her shoulder and blinked. Looking up, she smiled at her dad.
“Take this.” He held out a small shot glass. “Looks like you need it.”
She gladly took the glass filled with amber liquid and tossed it back. The whiskey burned her throat, but she welcomed it. Anything to distract her from her own thoughts. “Thank you.”
“Mhm,” he muttered as he stared down at her.
“What?” she asked.
“You know what,” he replied.
And she did. Her dad wanted her to talk to Rafa. He wanted her to find her peace and move on with her life. He wanted her to either decide to grab what he thought she should, or let it go to find something different. But Steph didn’t know if she was ready for that.
Because you like living in the past and allowing it to haunt your every waking moment, she told herself.
But she didn’t. She just didn’t know how to end the cycle. She didn’t know how to push past the fear to even be able to move on. She was stuck.
She stared up at him, willing her dad to understand. He stared back at her with sympathy in his eyes and nodded. He tapped the top of her head and rubbed it as if she were a small child. Then he turned back toward the others and yelled, “Rafa, come get your woman.”
Steph’s eyes grew as wide as saucers. The embarrassment had her face flooding with heat. And her mouth gaping open like a fish out of water.
“Diesel!” her mother chastised.
“What?” he asked her. “Look at our daughter, Rachel.” He pointed at Steph. “She is not in a good place. And that man is the only one who can pull her out of it because he’s the one who put her there! Open your damn eyes, woman!”
“Excuse you?” Her mother stood. “I don’t know who the hell you think you’re talking to with that tone, but…”
Steph couldn’t listen to anymore. She jumped to her feet and ran back inside. She felt humiliated.
“Stephanie!”
She heard Rafa’s voice, but she didn’t dare stop. She couldn’t. Tears streamed down her face as she rushed to her room. Throwing open the door, she slammed it closed behind her and slid down it. Her face fell into her hands as her shoulders shook with the force of her sobs.
“Stephanie…” She heard Rafa say her name. “Please, open the door. Let me in.”
“Go away!” she cried.
“I can’t do that,” he told her. “I can’t leave you. Not again.”
His words only made her cry more. She wanted to believe them, to believe him, but she couldn’t.
“I’m so sorry, babe,” he said. “I’m so fucking sorry. Please. You have to believe me. I never wanted to leave you. Stephanie, please!”
Her heart felt like it was breaking all over again.
“You were my world,” he continued. “Hell, you still are! Stephanie, please. just open the door.”
She wanted to, but she couldn’t. She wanted so badly for things to go back to the way they used to be. For them to just be two people madly in love with each other. Two people who would move heaven and hell to be together. But she couldn’t. Steph felt helpless. She wanted so desperately to believe him, but she was completely paralyzed by her fear. So, she sat there, crying on the opposite side of the door, wishing she dared to just get up.
“I’m here, Stephanie,” Rafa told her. “I’m not going anywhere, ever again. I will fight for us. I will keep at you every single day for the rest of my life until you give in. No matter what. You and me, we’re meant to be, babe.”
She knew they were. Deep down, Steph knew that Rafa was her other half. He was the yin to her yang. The Clyde to her Bonnie. But she also knew that sometimes, even those that are meant for each other, just couldn’t be together.
But that doesn’t have to be us, she reminded herself.
She shook her head. Her own emotions frustrated her.
She wanted him. But she didn’t. She needed him. But she needed to move on. Back and forth she warred with herself until she thought she would pull her hair out. She was tired of the internal struggle.
“Stephanie, please…”
“Just go away!” she finally screamed.
“Stephanie Hazel Marie Briggs!” She heard her father yell. “Open this damn door.”
Steph stood on tired legs and stepped away from the door. She knew her dad well enough to know when he used her full name, he was done playing around. She wouldn’t put it past him to remove the door from the hinges, even though she was well into adulthood.
Reaching for the knob, she turned it slowly and opened the door. Standing there, her eyes bounced between her father and Rafa.
Diesel moved into the room and as she tried to close the door, he said, “Leave it open because what I have to say goes for both of you.”
Steph looked at Rafa who was staring at her. The sadness in his gaze had her turning away from him. She couldn’t stand seeing it. Not on him.
“I’ve had enough of this.” Diesel wagged a finger at her and Rafa. “Fix it. Now.”
“Dad…”
“No!” he interrupted. “I just had my ass chewed off by your mother and if I’m sleeping on the couch, it’ll be for a damn good reason. So, listen up, both of you. Life is hard and sometimes it downright sucks disease, wart infested donkey tits.”
Steph scrunched up her nose at the mental picture he created. “Eww.”
“Exactly.” He slapped a hand on his thigh. “But you only get one.” He held up a single finger. “Live it! Stop giving in to the fear, girl! He’s right there.” Diesel pointed at Rafa. “You are getting a chance at something that nobody else gets. Take it, Stephanie. I understand you’re scared. I understand that fear is like a living, breathing thing inside of you that eats away at you. But fuck! Tell that mother fucker to fuck all the way off. This is your life.” He turned to Rafa. “And you, if you ever hurt my daughter again, I will kill you myself. I will empty a clip between your eyes and send your body parts back to your family piece by goddamn piece.”
“Understood,” Rafa said.
“Good,” Diesel replied.
He took a step toward Steph and gently grabbed the sides of her face. Looking into her eyes, he said, “a faithful man never stops showing his woman how much she means to him, even after he’s already gotten her.” He turned to look at Rafa. “And if he plans to keep her, then he’ll try every day to treat her with the same love, attention, and respect that he used to win her.” He turned his eyes back to her. “And if he doesn’t, then kick him in the fucking balls to give him a dose of act-right.”
Steph couldn’t help but smile. Leave it to her dad to crack jokes during an emotional crisis.
“It’s okay to forgive,” he softly told her. “But it’s also okay to not forget. However, what isn’t okay, is allowing something, anything, to take over your life. To allow it to rule you. You are stronger than any fear, kiddo. Fight it. If this man means to you what I think he does, then fight for him.” He looked between the two of them. “Fight for each other.”
And with that, he kissed her forehead and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him and leaving her alone with the one man who had the ability to completely kill what little of herself that she had left.
Chapter Fourteen
Rafael
He stood there staring at her. Every word her father had said hit home for him. He knew he would do anything to fix things between him and her, but the question was – could she say the same?
She cleared her throat.
“I don’t know what to do here,” she mumbled. “I heard your story. I get it, but that still doesn’t ease this pain that I have in my chest.”
“I’m sorry…”
“No.” She shook her head. “Don’t apologize. You did the right thing. It just…” She finally looked at him. “It just still hurts, ya know?”
The tears welling up in her eyes had his feet moving toward her before they even registered in his mind. Rafa wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. She stood there stiffly at first, but at after moment, she relaxed into him.
And he smiled to himself. He’d take even the smallest thing as a victory.
He stood there, just holding her, wishing that he could take it all away. He hated seeing her so broken, but even in her most vulnerable state, she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. To the world, Stephanie put on a hardcore, take no shit front. But in moments like this, Rafa was honored to see the softer side of her. The woman behind the mask. He just hated that he was the cause of her hurt.
Never again, he made the promise to himself. Never again.
He pulled away from her a bit and lowered himself down to his knee. Looking up at her, he saw the fear in her eyes and shook his head. “I’m not asking you to marry me,” he told her, “but I am asking that you please forgive me and to please give us another chance. I promise to try my damnedest every single day to be the man who deserves you. I promise to always fight for us. I promise to love you. To honor you. To respect you. I promise to always make you the center of my universe. And all I ask of you in return is to just try. Please?”
He saw the emotions warring in her eyes. The happiness, the fear, the anxiety, the want. They were all there and he understood each of them. And while he wanted to beg her to say yes, Rafa just kneeled there and waited…
“I…”
He was losing her. He could tell. A darkness seemed to fall over her, and he had no idea how to pull her from it. There was nothing left for him to say.
He bowed his head.
Inside, he felt as if his heart were breaking. At that moment, he had truly lost her. He’d hoped when he’d first seen her after all those years that maybe he had a chance, but he’d been wrong. With a heavy sigh, he stood. He leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead. “It’s okay,” he whispered against her skin. “It’s okay.”
His throat felt tight. He squeezed her hands in his and headed for the door. He’d make arrangements for his mom and sister to stay with the club, but Rafa had to leave. He couldn’t stand to be so close to her, and yet not have her.
He opened the door and softly closed it behind him. He stood there for a moment and just closed his eyes as he tried to gather himself before he went to search for Sledge.
* * *
He tossed a duffle bag full of clothes that Tinker had gathered for him into the back of his car and closed the trunk.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Sledge asked.
“Yeah.” He nodded.
“I think you’re making a mistake,” Diesel chimed in.
“Story of my life,” he replied, “but I can’t stay here. I can’t see her every day and not…” He left it open-ended. “And she can’t see me every day either. I’ve hurt her enough.”
“I can respect that,” Joker said. “But if you ever need to come back…”
“Thanks, man.”
Rafa extended his hand to the guys that were gathered and one by one, he said his goodbyes. When he finally got to Sledge, he asked, “Are you sure they’re good here?”
“Yeah.” Sledge nodded. “They’ll be safe. Don’t worry about them.”
“Okay.”
As he climbed into his car, he felt a lump form in his gut. He had no idea where he was going but using the GPS coordinates that Tinker had programmed into his phone, Rafa pulled out of the clubhouse lot and slowly rolled down the driveway. Once he got to the road, he turned right and headed out. Hopefully, to a place where he could find a bit of solace
and some time to figure out what do to with his life next.
For so long, he had lived for everyone else and now that he was able to live for himself, Rafa had no idea how to do it. He had no direction. He couldn’t use his degree to find a job. Hell, he couldn’t work, period. According to the government, he was legally dead. Rafael Holston didn’t even exist anymore. So, he had no idea what he was going to do.
So far, all he had planned was to get to where he was going and maybe take a day or two to just relax and be… After that, he would see what came next. Maybe, once he got to where he was going, something useful would fall into his lap.
One could only hope, he thought to himself as he flipped on his blinker and took the turn that would lead him away from his family, the club, and the only woman he would ever love.
Chapter Fifteen
Stephanie
“You know he’s gone, right?” her mom asked, leaning against the doorway that led to her in-suite bathroom.
“What?” Steph raised her head off the pillow.
Her mom nodded. “He left last night.” She shook her head. “What are you doing, Steph? You have your heart right at your fingertips, and you slammed the door on it.”
Stephanie sighed. Here we go again…
“I understand you’re hurt. I get it, honey. But you need to figure out what you genuinely want from life. Is it Rafael? If not, let him go. Tell him there’s no hope.”
“Can’t really do that now, can I?” She was pissed. He fucking left. After he promised he wouldn’t.
“And whose fault is that?” Her mother’s voice raised. “You are your own worse enemy, girl. Get out of your head, Stephanie. Stop overthinking every little thing. You have a real chance at happiness here and instead of grabbing it with both hands, you shoved it away.”
Capturing Stephanie: Devil's Henchmen MC Next Generation, Book Three Page 7
