Grinning in return, I reply, “I had nothing to do with the photographer selection process so take that as a good sign that you’re here all on your own merit.”
His grin widens as he says, “Thanks man.”
Justin is a friend from my childhood. We hung around from time to time, getting ourselves into the usual boy trouble. I hadn’t seen him in a while because of my touring schedule and it was great running into him now.
I feel Cass’s presence next to me, my body instantly on high electrical alert as she joins us and stands by my side.
“You guys know each other?” she asks.
Turning to look at her, my eyes greedily sweeping over her face, I murmur, “We were childhood buddies.”
Cass nods and bites her lip.
My cock stiffens, pressing against my zipper as I long to be the one nibbling on that lip.
Her eyes come to mine and stay there.
My heart thumps heavily, my hand coming out to touch her despite being surrounded by a room full of people.
But realizing my intent, she quickly steps away as she says, “We’re ready whenever you two are.”
My hand drops back to my side, empty.
Matching my chest.
Sighing heavily, I watch her escape me before I turn back to Justin.
“What’s that all about?” he asks, his gaze following Cass.
“It’s nothing,” I reply hastily. I have to do a better job of keeping my feelings hidden.
“That was not nothing,” he says knowingly.
Shaking my head, I reply vaguely, “It was something once. A long time ago. Not anymore.”
He holds my gaze as he says, “Doesn’t seem like it’s nothing now.”
Once again shaking my head, I reply, “We’ve both moved on with other people.”
“You’re sure about that?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I reply even though I know I’m lying.
Then, knowing I want to change the subject, he says, “Why don’t we get started.”
I nod and follow Justin to where he positions me under the lights. Then turning to Cass, they go over what theme they are going for with this shoot. I watch Cass, totally entranced as the light hits her hair in just the right place, setting it aglow.
Then it’s her turn to watch me intently, her mind now fully on her job as she sizes up every pose that Justin asks me to take and I can tell she isn’t happy with what I’m producing.
“Can we pause for a minute Justin?” Cass asks after about twenty minutes. “Something is missing and it’s not the pictures.”
Justin nods and turning away from me, he starts skimming back through the pictures on his camera as Cass walks over to me.
“From what I’ve heard of your music, you are definitely timeless rock. That’s the look that I need from you. Forget about Justin and the camera. Be you. Be the person who loves being on stage, the rock star that could have any female he wants and knows it.”
I can’t help the bark of laughter that pops from my lips.
“Any female I want, eh?” I ask pointedly.
She flushes and steps away from me, but her words have the desired effect as I pretend that Justin isn’t here, that no one else is here but me and Cass. I allow my eyes to train totally on her standing next to Justin, holding her gaze as I allow my eyes to speak for me, to show the words, the emotions that only Cass can make me feel.
I see her flush again, but I don’t break the connection with her and she doesn’t look away. I watch as she bites her lip and I shift my body, reacting to her innocent sensual move. A few more shots and Justin says, “These are some awesome shots,” as he lowers the camera.
“You are, without a doubt, a sexy, smoldering rock star,” he jives me, before winking and moving towards me, breaking the spell between Cass and me.
“Now can you give me a few flirtatious looks? You know, show your humorous side?” Justin asks.
Trying to bring my brain back to the present and out of the sexually charged world that only consisted of Cass and Borden, I stare at Justin uncomprehendingly. Trying to switch to being flirtatious and humorous was too wide of a swing in my emotions as I stare at him stupidly.
“Cass...” Justin murmurs softly as he holds my eyes knowingly, “I think Borden responds better to you than me. I need him flirty and humorous. Flirt with him.”
Cass, having stepped forward as Justin was speaking to me, flushes deeply. Justin’s eyes immediately snaps to Cass before snapping back to me.
“Cass seems to know how to bring forward the perfect reaction. I’ll give you guys a moment,” he says softly, knowingly, before moving away from us.
My eyes connect with Cass and my heart turns over.
I don’t know how much longer I can keep this secret, keep my feelings to myself as I watch her expression.
“Can you at least smile?” she asks, and I know she’s just as off-kilter as me, struggling to fight what this is between us.
“I could if I had you,” I whisper.
I see shock, followed by exhilaration, fill her eyes momentarily before it’s quickly replaced with unease.
My heart trips, grasping and focusing on that moment of exhilaration only.
I know in that moment that I still do it for her, just as she still does it for me.
“Borden...” she sighs out breathlessly, making my name sound like it’s coming from the lips of an angel.
I crave to hear her sigh my name into my ear, to thrust myself deep inside of her again, as I absorb the feeling of her all around me, surrounding me.
I automatically take a step towards her.
“Okay guys, this is PG here,” Justin interjects softly. I slowly raise my eyes to Justin, frustrated at his interruption.
“Whoa guys, I can pretty much cut the sexual tension here with a knife, but I need Borden in a flirtatious mood for the next set plus Sharon is standing right over there,” Justin murmurs the warning, trying his best to pull us out of the sexual trance we had both gone into.
“Play with him Cass, make him lighten up,” Cass’s shocked gaze goes to Justin at his words. “Don’t pretend with me, Cass. I’m a good photographer. I can sense people’s feelings and the intensity between you two right now needs to be tamed for the moment. I need you to get him in a playful mood. Flirt with him, mess up his hair or something. He responds to you, to your emotions. I need you flirty with him and then afterwards, you guys need to get rid of your excess baggage and find a room.”
Justin’s words have the opposite effect of what he’s seeking from Cass as she flushes deeply. I take pity on her and intervene.
“Cass...” I say, drawing her eyes to me. “Justin wants us to get a room,” and I roll my eyes while thrusting my hips in a humorous lewd action, trying to get a laugh from her.
My hips moving in a stupidly, corny gesture of a hip thrust causes her to relax just enough that she laughs softly, and my heart instantly lightens as she plays along.
Stepping closer to me, she reaches her hands out and teasing me, she runs her hands through my hair as she asks, “Like this Justin?’
Feeling her fingers in my hair again makes every nerve ending in my body stand at attention but I keep it from showing, not wanting Cass to lose this light heartedness.
Grinning back at Cass, I can feel my hair sticking straight up from the products that had been put in it for the photoshoot, and Justin instantly begins to snap a few close-up pictures of my face.
“That’s it Cass,” Justin says admiringly, chuckling.
“And like this?” Cass asks again, laughing as she reaches forward, unbuttoning some of the buttons on my shirt, playfully pushing the shirt off my shoulders. The moment her fingers touch my skin though, it all changes.
Cass inhales sharply and my cock stiffens.
And then her eyes zero in on the tattoo over my heart.
I watch as her face changes, looking so vulnerable that I reach out to touch her, to explain.
Abruptly
she turns from me and walks away, going into a room, and shutting the door.
Justin lowers the camera, his eyes coming to mine in pity as he says, “I think we have all that we are going to get today. If Cass needs more, she’ll let me know.”
Nodding, I look down at the ground.
Justin pauses for a second before he says, “I love Cass. She’s one of my favorite PR reps to work with and I know her and Ty are pretty serious. I don’t know what’s going on exactly between you two but don’t hurt her and don’t let her be with him after what I’ve witnessed here today.”
He holds my eyes for a moment before then turning away from me.
Sharon hurries over to me, exclaiming excitedly how well the photoshoot had went and that she thinks Cass is the best PR rep that I’ve ever had. I feel guilt and shame that she has no idea that Cass and I were not acting for the camera. That what she had seen between us is real.
So very, very real.
“I need to go to speak with Cass,” I say as I avoid her eyes and begin to walk away.
“Okay, I’ll meet you back in the dressing room,” I hear her call out to me happily.
I head straight to the room where Cass had disappeared and without knocking, I open the door. Cass is emerging from a washroom within the room, her eyes wet, a few strands of her hair surrounding her face are wet from where she’d obviously splashed water onto her face.
Closing the door softly behind me, her eyes come up to mine.
“Cass...” I say.
“Why did you get that tattoo?” she asks in a whisper.
Moving away from the door, unable to keep from touching her, I reach out my hand, sliding it around to cup the back of her neck as she looks up at me. I feel so alive as I return her gaze, absorb the feeling of her soft skin. I move my thumb, rubbing it over her lips, wanting desperately to taste them, as I admit, “Because of you. When you didn’t return my calls or texts, I needed something to remember you by. To honor you and that one night which somehow branded my soul.” Taking one small step closer to her, I whisper, “Because that’s what you did, you branded my soul.”
Tears fill her eyes.
“Borden...” she whispers, shaking her head slightly as if in denial.
“Cass,” I beg, “If you gave me any inclination of wanting to end things with Ty, I would end things with Sharon. Whatever this is, it’s not ended between us and I don’t think it ever has.”
The air between us pulses thickly...
A knock on the door has Cass jumping away from me, as if she has been burned, just before the door opens to reveal Ty’s smiling face.
“Hey guys! Heard it was a great shoot,” he says, his eyes not immediately taking in the scene before him until he directly focuses on Cass’s face.
He sobers as he asks, “Cass? You okay?”
I brace myself, waiting for Cass to say the words to him, to end this secret between us.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she says with a watery smile. “I had something in my eye and had to flush it out.”
I stare at her in shock, feeling as if a freight train had just run over my body.
“Here, let me have a look,” Ty says, stepping over to her.
My stomach clenches and heaves as I watch him touch her.
Turning abruptly, I open the door angrily and don’t bother closing it.
I stride angrily to my dressing room, wrenching the door open, startling Sharon.
“Hey,” Sharon says, “You okay?”
Unable to speak, I continue to the washroom in my temporary dressing room and splash water on my face.
Just forget her, - I silently tell myself.
But I know it’s useless.
I’ll never forget Cass.
Leaning on the sides of the sink, I want to tear it away from the wall as my mind replays Ty stepping over to Cass in concern, sliding his hands into her hair, where mine had just been, to lift her face up to him so he could inspect her eye.
A deep ache settles into my heart and my anger against Cass slides away. I can’t stay angry at her. I know she must be suffering as well, not knowing how to deal with seeing me again after so long. Her emotions are all twisted and tangled just like mine, not knowing what to do when you have something great with someone else and then having the past come back.
And maybe, just maybe, my feelings towards Cass are stronger than the emotions she feels for me.
But I know I need to find out.
And that’s why I don’t cancel going to their beach house the following weekend.
The week flows by slowly with Cass often in my mind. Every time an email comes in from her, my heart races hoping she’d somehow indicate she was thinking of me too. But every email is polite, professional and to the point. There is no hint that she wants me, is thinking of me like I’m thinking of her.
On Friday afternoon as I pack my convertible with our luggage and my guitar, my stomach is tied in knots as I think of seeing her again.
There’s a stupid anticipation building in me even though she’s with someone else.
Sharon’s bright smile as she walks towards me feels like a punch to the stomach. If she only knew my real reason for going to Cass and Tyler’s beach house.
“Ready?” she asks, her eyes bright in eagerness of having a weekend away from the rush of LA.
Nodding, I open her car door, and as she slides in, I take a deep breath.
I shouldn’t be doing this, - I mentally tell myself again.
But it’s no use.
I can’t stop myself from going to wherever Cass is.
As I follow the directions Tyler emailed to me, Sharon reaches over and takes my hand, before relaxing back into her seat to allow the warm breeze to flow through her hair. I can’t help the imaginary vision of having Cass next to me, her hand entwined with mine, her hair tangling in the wind as we escaped for a weekend away.
The image tugs at my heart.
But I know it will only ever be in my dreams.
Staring at the road, I try unsuccessfully to force the image away. By the time I’m pulling into the driveway of the beach house, my heart is pounding in my ears, my stomach full of unwanted butterflies.
I have an entire weekend of being able to see Cass, - I can’t help but silently feel the self-deprecating gratification as I put the car in park. Sighing heavily, I realize my hands are shaking as I glance at the entrance to the beach cottage – to her and Tyler’s beach cottage.
You’re an idiot, - I silently chastise myself as I hastily push the door open and exit the car. As I pull our luggage from the trunk, I try to temper my excitement, but the butterflies remain low and deep in my stomach in anticipation. Sharon takes her bag from me to slip her hand into mine and I automatically curl my hand around hers - part apology, part just needing the strength of her so much right now. Reaching the door, I raise my hand to knock while still trying to silently will myself to calm down. Within a few seconds, Tyler swings the door open, dressed in swim trunks. My eyes jealously glance to the hairs on his well-toned chest as I immediately envision Cass stroking through them.
Dropping my eyes away from him, I try to keep my tone light and even as I clear my throat before saying, “Thanks for having us. This is Sharon.”
Tyler extends his hand to Sharon, immediately making her feel welcome in his home.
But my eyes...
My eyes are only searching for any sign of Cass as we both step into his home.
“I’ll show you guys to your room where you can drop off your bags and guitar,” Tyler says hospitably, while my anxious eyes search for his girlfriend as we follow him down the hall.
I want to ask for Cass but I’m afraid to speak...
Afraid that my voice will give away the wildly swinging emotions that have taken over my body.
Tyler swings open the door to the bedroom we’ve been assigned as he says, “Just lay your bags anywhere and we’ll head outside.”
After doing as Tyler says, we follow him b
ack down the hall, through the kitchen and step out through double sliding doors which open into the back of the house where the ocean is the backdrop and a lap pool immediately in front of us.
It’s there that my gaze stops instantly...
Cass, dressed in a white, barely there bikini, is slowly climbing the steps out of the pool, her dark hair wetly clinging to her perfectly tanned skin.
She’s like my porn dream come true, - I silently think.
I can barely swallow through the sudden thickness in my throat as my cock instantly begins to swell.
My mind instantly reminds me how her skin felt...
How she tasted.
Cass’s eyes come to mine and it’s as if we’re having a secret moment, electrifying both of us.
My heart beats thick...
Hurting.
Then Tyler is suddenly next to her, wrapping his arm around her waist, breaking the connection as jealousy swamps me, and I automatically take one step forward to pull her from his arms...
My hands clenching into tight fists.
But then Cass easily steps away from him before heading to a sun lounger and retrieves a towel to wrap around herself quickly.
Tyler, who hasn’t picked up on my response to his almost naked girlfriend, doesn’t take the hint that Cass is not into the PDA in front of us. He crosses over to her to place both of his hands around her waist again to drag her with, what I’m sure is reluctance, over to us.
I grit my teeth.
“You’ve all met before at the photoshoot, so I feel like the odd person out,” he says, grinning widely, completely oblivious as to what is happening between Cass and me. “How about a drink?”
I can only manage a nod, never needing a drink more than I do right now.
“Sharon, how about a drink? Wine, beer, cocktail?” Tyler asks looking at Sharon, allowing my eyes to slip for a moment to Cass who has averted her attention to fixing her towel.
My heart heaves...
Filled with longing.
“I would love a glass of white,” I hear Sharon respond as I silently will Cass to look at me.
“You ladies stay here. We’ll grab the drinks,” Tyler says enthusiastically, snapping my gaze back to him as he waves for me to follow him.
Book Two: Inescapable, #2 Page 11
