by H. Q. Frost
"Why?" I ask in horror.
"Because I like the sight."
"But my face is in that picture, Callum."
"I also enjoy your face. Please shut up and focus on keeping my sperm inside you."
"You're a pig," I seethe and he chuckles. "If you show anyone that picture—"
"Oh please, Magdelena. I don't share what's mine. It's for my own pleasure. Stop talking." He pushes my ankles, elevating my legs and I close my eyes.
I'm just a whore to him. A receptacle. I need this life over.
The pregnancy takes and he's ecstatic but I'm plagued with worry the same thing will happen. I keep my distance from him to reduce stress but I'm not sure if it causes more. He's made a few attempts to be around me. I don't want it. I'm vulnerable and can't control my emotions that have been confusing things in ways they shouldn't. One of the cooks was staring at me the other day and I almost convinced myself to approach him. I have no attraction to the man, I don't even know his name, but the idea he wanted to show me attention made me romance thoughts of spending a happy life with him.
My head's ridiculous lately and I don't know how to shake it so I try isolating myself from everyone, but after two days, I feel as if I'm going insane. Lol's not here so I go looking for Callum. I haven't seen him in over a week. It won't kill him to spend ten minutes with me. I just need a mundane conversation. I waltz into his office and see he has two women sitting in front of his desk. The door was open so I don't feel badly about intruding.
"Excuse me," I say, but don't make an attempt to leave because one of the women are staring at Callum like he's deep inside of her. I'll yank her eyeballs from her head.
"Magdelena." Callum stands. "Ladies, if you don't mind, me and my wife have a lunch to attend."
We do? I almost say it aloud but I realize he's using me as an excuse to end the meeting.
"Always a pleasure." One of the women reaches across the desk to shake his hand and I stand dutifully at his side with a smile on my face.
"Your Grace." The one that was staring like she'd swallow every drop he gave her reaches her hand out like he's going to kiss it.
"Yes. Good afternoon." He nods when I grip his hand, not allowing him to touch her.
Her flabbergasted gaze flits to our hands then she looks into my face and I smile.
"Good afternoon," I repeat his words and she hurries to follow the other woman out of the room.
"Jealousy ages you," Callum says casually when they walk out and he begins to shuffle papers on his desk.
"I'm not jealous," I scoff. "I just won't allow you to belittle me." I plop into the chair across his desk and watch him roll his eyes.
"To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence, Magdelena?" he asks dully.
"I don't know." I glance around his office. "I'm bored. I haven't seen you in a few days and actually no one's been around to even talk to me. Sadly enough you're my last option."
"Aren't you just a treasure to be had," he mutters then sits. "I don't have time for your games."
"What about lunch? I'm not talking about food." I lean forward and allow my shirt to fall open to expose my cleavage. His eyes slowly find mine, probably just as surprised as I am, but I need attention.
"What did you have in mind?" His eyes shift from my breasts to the open door.
"Who's hungrier? Me or you?" I question and lick my lips. This is my first attempt at being seductive and the light in his eyes ensures I'm not failing yet.
"We can both be hungry." He reaches down and though I can't see his hand, I know he's touching his hard dick.
"Well I'm starving. Let me freshen up, you close the doors." I stand and move for the bathroom.
I mentally prepare myself for his neglect afterward but I can't seem to care because for the time being I'll get the affection I'm craving.
I adjust my breasts while I use the toilet and when I wipe, something isn't right. I look down at the toilet paper and the sight makes me close my eyes. Blood. Hot tears flood behind my lids and I open them to release the heat. I was only six weeks and no one but me and Callum know I conceived again, but either something's wrong with me, or wrong with him. I cannot carry Callum's child.
"Callum?" I call out through my tears. It's a private moment, but the last thing I want is to be alone right now, and this life moment is something we share.
The door slowly opens and the smile that's on his face falls when he sees me.
"The baby?" he quietly asks when his eyes land on the bloody toilet paper in my hand.
I sniffle and nod, trying not to break down in sobs. Callum pulls me together, cleaning me up before carrying me to my bedroom. When he gets me situated, he puts me in the bed and holds me.
"I'm not meant to carry a Carbon baby," I cry.
"Shh." He holds me tighter.
I fall asleep in his arms and when I wake there’s so much anger coursing through me. This could also be his fault and I keep falling in love with these children. My children and they're being taken from me.
"Hey," his soft voice says.
"Get out," I say and sit up, shoving my hands through my hair.
"Magdelena." He touches my back and I swing. I connected with something but I don't know what and I currently don't care.
"Get out!"
I haven't seen him since and that was four weeks ago. Dr. Chen put me on a regimen of hormone pills, a strict diet, certain exercises, cervical exercises, and the list goes on. There's clearly something wrong with me, but I also won't admit to him that stress and depression might be the biggest factors. He can continue to pump me full of pills and maybe my husband will one day want to try and impregnate me again.
"Hello," a voice at the door says and I grab Cage's collar, but he doesn't move to attack, he just looks on curiously at Kipper.
"Hi," I say after glancing at him. I haven't seen him since I lost my first child.
"I…wanted to see how you were doing." He enters the room and eyes my cat, sitting next to me on the couch.
"I'm fine, thank you." He couldn't possibly know I was pregnant again. He must be referring to the first miscarriage.
"These are for you." He places flowers gently into my lap and I furrow my brows.
"Thank you." The smell drifts to my nose and what would once make me smile, makes me move them away from me. "They're pretty."
"I'm glad you're okay, Mag." His hand lands on my shoulder and at first I scowl until the warmth puts me at ease.
I don't know why I crave so much attention, but not until I got here did I start feeling that way. As of right now, Kipper is the only attention I've had in a week. I had a conversation with Lol last week and he hugged me. I made it linger too long and I mistakenly grazed my lips over his neck. I haven't seen him since. But that's for the best. I'm losing my mind here.
"Are you visiting Callum?" I ask and glance at his hand that's rubbing over my arm. I shift so I can face him and Cage adjusts to comfortably lay his head on my lap.
"No." He shrugs. "I came to see you." He pushes hair behind my ear and I furrow my brows. "I wanted to see how you were doing."
"I'm fine. Perhaps you should be offering your friend some comfort." I nod to the flowers and he smirks.
The man's attractive but he's a snake.
"I've been friends with Callum long enough to know we aren't close anymore. He's…changed." He looks into my eyes and I stare curiously.
"What do you mean?"
"He's a different man. More manipulative. Cruel. What he's doing with you. That's…it's not right." He shakes his head before touching my cheek. I almost flinch away from him but my body disobeys, wanting someone's attention.
"What's he doing with me, Kip?" I challenge.
"He told me everything. Once you produce a boy, he'll divorce you and leave you on your ass. You don't have to take that. You can cut him off before it goes too far."
"What do you mean?"
He smirks and reaches to touch my face again. "You're beautif
ul, Mag. He's a bastard."
"How can I cut him off before it goes too far? My part of the contract hasn't been fulfilled."
"Where's this contract? I want to take a look at it for you. I can help you. Had I known this, I would have helped you sooner."
"Why?" I stare at him, wondering if the man I thought was a snake, could actually be my savior.
"Because you don't deserve this," he says quietly and leans in. "You deserve a man that will appreciate you." Thick fingers trail to my lips. "Don't you? A man that will worship your body the way it should be." His touch moves to my collar bone and I've yet to pull away.
"Who would do that, Kipper?"
"Me, for one." He moves closer and Cage lets out a quiet growl. "I've wanted you since the second I saw you with that low-life."
I grit my teeth and when he leans in to kiss me, I jerk back. He's a fucking snake. If he's friends with Callum, he is definitely a snake.
"Magdelena!" Callum's voice makes me jump and I get to my feet, almost falling. I grab Cage's collar as he tries to go for Callum and pull the cat back as Callum swings at Kipper.
"Callum, stop!" I shout as Kipper jumps on him. "Lol!" I scream, running for the door, trying to hold Cage at the same time. I release the cat in the hall and he runs for his room. "Lol! Somebody!" I scream and staff comes running, but they're all women. "I need Lol! They're fighting!" I urge and run back into the room. The men are rolling around the ground pummeling each other. "Callum, please!" I shriek and pull at his collar, stumbling when they don't stop. As I fall to my ass, Callum finally stops and grabs me. Kipper takes a cheap shot, hitting him in the jaw as Callum attempts to help me stand.
When Callum stumbles and falls, Kipper spits at him. "I'll fucking take her if I want her," he snarls, blood dripping from his nose.
He looks at me and I freeze. I was right from the beginning to be uncomfortable around him and I feel shame for thinking I wanted his attention. When he leaves, slamming the door behind him, I jolt.
"How long!" Callum's voice bellows, startling me again. I spin to face him and see he's holding his nose with blood seeping through his fingers. "How fucking long?" he screams and I flinch.
"How long what?" I stutter, not sure what he's asking.
"How long have you been stepping out on me?" he snarls and lowers his hand. Seeing the fountain of blood from his nose makes me wince. There's a possibility it’s broken.
"Stepping out?" I ask in confusion, though I understand what he means.
"How long have you been fucking him, Magdelena?" he spews at me so hatefully I feel a shame for something I've never done.
"I never have," I say in a quiet voice.
"Unbelievable." He heads for the door.
"Callum!" I run after him, grabbing his arm. "I swear."
"Don't touch me." Yanking his arm free, he storms down the hallway, slamming the door to his office.
The fact I've never cheated on him is what makes me care he doesn't believe me. There's no other reason I need him to believe me because I feel nothing for the man.
"Mag," Lol says in confusion and his eyes follow the trail of blood that was leaking from Callum's face. "Are you alright?" His sight darts between my legs and my stomach flips. I haven't bled in over a week. That chapter of my life is over. I am officially not carrying my child anymore.
"It's Callum," I insist. "His nose."
His wide eyes are insinuating I did it to him.
"Him and Kipper." Without having to say anymore, Lol turns and heads for Callum's office.
I'm so lost and I'm afraid I won't be able to stay sane in this house anymore. I have to leave, whether he releases me or not.
"I don't need assistance," I insist when Lol asks for the third time what he can do. I'm leaned over the sink, allowing my nose to leak because I don't have the energy to tend to this just yet. I'm feeling drained. Empty. The woman has left me questioning everything.
"What's happened, Your Grace?" he asks and I sigh, finally pinching my nose.
I sit on the toilet and tilt my head back and he helps to wipe the blood from my throat.
"She's fucking Kipper." I mean to project it with hate, but it comes out sounding tired.
He pauses from wiping my neck. "Are you positive?"
"I walked in on him about to kiss her."
"That's your analysis?"
"They were close, Lol!" I'm aggravated he's questioning me.
"Mrs. Carbon is…" He pauses and steps back. "She's lost, Callum." He nods like I should understand what that means.
"Lost?" I spit at him. "What the fuck does that mean, Rupier?" I spring from the toilet seat and move to the sink to wash the blood from my beard.
"She's hurting. She's in need."
"In need of what?" I snarl, looking at him in the mirror.
"Of you, sir. Your affection, your attention, your love."
"I have no fucking love for that whore."
Our eyes meet and moments later he leaves the bathroom, harshly closing the door.
My wife the whore. And Kip. It's no surprise. He's always wanted what I've had and he's been making comments about Magdelena since he first saw her. She's always seemed to dislike him though. I never thought I'd have to worry about the woman cheating on me. How stupid do you have to be? You're married to a Duke. You have absolutely nothing except what I give you. And this is how you treat me?
I stare at my reflection, unable to shake the feeling she isn't cheating. I believe I walked in on him making a move on her, but is it so hard to assume she's a whore? Her clothes, the makeup, her entire sultry appeal.
She was a virgin for Christ's sake, Callum, I scold myself and let out a huff. I'll talk to her about it, but not today. Today we need distance.
"Fuck," I groan. We've had nothing but distance. But there's a goddamn reason for it! The distance prevents confusion and I'm beyond confused.
I don't have the answers, but I'm hoping we can sit down like civilized adults and figure this out. How I can keep her happy. How she can keep me happy. At least until I can divorce her.
I enter the dining room but it's empty. Generally she's eating her breakfast at this hour. Two hard boiled eggs. A bowl of fruit, usually berries, but there are days she's feeling more tropical and goes for melons. I check my watch again then head for the Great Room. After her breakfast she comes in here and blares her favorite song of the week twice before allowing any more music to play. Her and a few staff members chat while they pretend to clean but really they just want her attention because she's refreshing. The Great Room is empty. I go to the kitchen, because sometimes she likes to help put away the groceries. Today is Tuesday. On Tuesdays she insists the staff bring back lamb so the cook can make lamb chops. She found a new recipe months ago and he refused to make it for her the first few times. I discreetly had to step in and implore he make the meal she insisted. Ever since, she gives him at least one new recipe a week. Mostly they're horrendous. I eat the leftovers. And it seems the new recipes I don't like, are the ones she doesn't either. Those are the nights there's more food left over for me.
The kitchen is empty. With aversion, I try the cat's room, but his highness is asleep on a bed softer than mine. The gardens are my last stop before her bedroom, but I don't think she'd still be sleeping. Outside, I call her name several times, but it's quiet.
"Have you seen her?" I ask one of the staff as I enter the house again.
"Who, Your Grace?"
"Magdelena?" I snap at the dolt.
"No, Your Grace." He bows his head and I head to her room.
"Magdelena?" I knock at her bedroom door but don't get a response. With a huff, I open it. "Magdelena." The bedroom is empty and I roll my eyes.
Sometimes she'll be in the library, starting a book, putting it down and picking up another, on repeat, at times for hours. It's empty. It's not often she's in the game room unless she has someone to play with, and I haven't seen Lol, so thinking they're together, that's where I head. Coming up emp
ty handed, I go to the monitors. The staff is buzzing everywhere but there is no sign of Magdelena…or Lol. I go to his room and pound before bursting in. It's dark, the closed curtains are blocking out the daylight and I move swiftly to turn on the lights, thinking I'll catch what has my heart hammering. But the bedroom is empty.
"Jasmine," I stop one of Magdelena's favorite maids. "Where's Lol?"
"I haven't seen him this morning, Your Grace." She bows her head and moves around me, getting back to work.
I pull my phone from my pocket and dial his phone number. It rings until voicemail. Then I try her phone and get immediate voicemail. Lastly I try his girlfriend.
"Callum." Her sultry voice comes over the line. I'm not attracted to her, but the woman oozes sex appeal for everyone but her inept boyfriend. I've told him countless times to stop wasting his life on her, but he's in love.
"Judith, where is Lol?"
"What time is it?" She pauses. "He should be back soon. If I'm not mistaken, her flight was at six?"
"Flight? Whose flight?"
"Your wife's," she says dryly. "He told me last night he had to drive her to the airport at two in the morning. I imagine he waited for her to board, so he should be on his way home."
I hang up the phone and try her again, getting immediate voicemail, then try him knowing the outcome will be the same.
My fingers fly over my screen as I text him to contact me immediately.
He didn't. He wouldn't. She couldn't!
I call her mother but get an answering machine. I don't have her sister's phone number. My last thought should have been my first, but I quickly get on the phone with my airline.
"I can have the plane turned around in two hours, Your Grace," I'm told and I almost say yes. Instead, I close my eyes and think.
"No. Please just check in when the pilot lands in the states."
"Yes, Your Grace."
I hang up and stare at my phone, falling back into a chair. What is her plan? I suppose she doesn't care anymore. She knows I will take that money from her family faster than she can blink.
A shadow pulls my attention from the black screen on my phone and I look up at Lol.
