Goosebumps slid alone the back of my neck and prickled the skin all along my arm. I stood speechless, not knowing what to say, or how to respond. I swallowed past the lump that had formed in my throat and took in a deep breath.
“You found me,” was all I could manage. I wanted to say much more. I’d never felt like I belonged anywhere and to anyone for a long time. I made myself enough for me even when I knew I had people around me who showed they cared. My issues went way back to my childhood when my mom left. Something like that… well you actually get over it.
“I found you.”
“Why? Why would you go through so much trouble to find me?”
“There’s one main reason, but several ways to answer that question. Olivia is pregnant, and I thought you should know.”
My heart …
My heart squeezed then I was sure it stopped and started beating again. But fast. Galloping, racing, even though all my muscles went numb.
“What?”
“You’re going to be a father and –”
That was it, enough confirmation. I moved toward the house before he could finish.
“Where you going Sam?” Joe rushed up to me.
“To her. Joe if you came here to give me some warning it’s not going to happen.” I stopped on the veranda and glared at him. “It’s not going to happen. You won’t tell me to stay away from her, or never see my kid because I won’t do it. You’ve been a great father, but she’s mine now.”
She was mine, the baby was mine and there was no way in heaven or hell that I would have a child in this world and abandon them. Not the way my mother abandoned me and certainly not the way my father did either. Never even knew him. That wasn’t happening to my kid, and not my girl. Screw the fucking butterfly effect, and the damn consequences. I was going to be there for Olivia and my baby. Every step of the way, no matter who liked it or not.
To my surprise Joe laughed. He laughed a hearty laugh that almost seemed like it was filled with relief. “Yes Sam. I figured you would say that. I didn’t come to tell you to stay away. I came to find you to bring you home. I wanted to bring you home, because you have family there who need you. I’d be damn proud to know my daughter was with someone like you. Someone I knew would always love her and protect her. Someone who always put her first in his life. Someone who could write her over five hundred letters and still write another. That’s you Sam. You belong with her, son. With your family. Us.”
A tear ran down my cheek, and damn it I could have been that kid again he saved so long ago.
Back then I had nothing and no one.
The difference now was what he said. I actually felt it.
I belonged.
“Can you forgive an old fool for acting like a jerk?” Joe asked.
“You didn’t act like a jerk.”
“I did. Now come on. Nice as this place seems I doubt you really want to be here.”
I chuckled. “No, I do not.”
Chapter 22
Olivia
* * *
“The vase looks good over there,” Marcus stated with a nod.
He’d come by with a beautiful vase everyone had gotten for me from work.
The thing was truly beautiful and looked of the priceless variety.
I’d been home for two days now and it felt weird after being in the hospital for over nearly a month.
“I agree. Thank so much. Please tell everyone I said thanks. It’ means a lot to me that they did that.” I smiled and straightened up against the cushion on the sofa.
“No thanks needed.” Marcus came and sat next to me. “Is there anything else I can do?”
“You guys have thoroughly pampered me. I am completely taken care of.” I hardly had to do anything besides eat and sleep. It was like I was the baby.
The baby…
I had a baby growing inside me. I was a few days over five weeks pregnant. It was the quickest five weeks that had ever gone by in my life and yet it felt like I’d lived a whole life time from the time Sam came back to LA to right now.
I still couldn’t believe I was pregnant.
I was happy and starting to feel excited about such a gift. I was also just waiting to feel that strength so I could start looking for Sam. Jada already said she would help me. Of course we were partners in crime. She was in the kitchen working her charm with a supposed top notch private investigator she found.
Dad was away on police business so with him not fussing over me it was the perfect time to try and get all that I could done.
“I’m looking forward to seeing everyone when I get back to work in a few weeks.” I smiled.
He gave me a bewildered look. “What, no, no, you can’t come back in a few weeks.”
“Marcus a few weeks will be the end of my sick leave.” I’d had six weeks booked.
“Hell no. I’ll sort that out. I think realistically you need three months a minimum if not six and then if you want to come back we’ll arrange for you to do what you can from home.”
“Thank you, but I really want to get back in the swing of things before I get too big and have what people call baby brain.” I could have hid my pregnancy for a little longer but since he’d been such a rock to me I thought I’d tell him.
“Olivia please. I’m serious here. In fact I’m just going to shuffle things around from now. And, don’t worry we know this senior associate role was just a temp thing. I know, and I hope you don’t mind but I took the liberty of requesting you train under me so if a senior partner role ever came up you’d be the logical candidate.”
My jaw dropped. “What?”
“Well, what’s the good of me being a friend if I can’t help you when I can. Who cares if people think I’m helping because I’m a friend? I certainly don’t.” He chuckled.
“Oh Marcus, I’d really love that.” I gave him a quick hug.
“Good, health first. Promise me health first and you mustn’t worry about anything.”
I hadn’t talked about Sam, and he didn’t ask. I knew he guessed the situation though and didn’t judge me.
“I promise.” I nodded.
He stood up and his smile widened. “Call me if you need anything. I’m going to be away next week but I got my phone.”
“You away? Unheard of. Business trip?” I chuckled.
“No, I went on a date the other night and it didn’t go so well. Apparently I talked about work too much. It made me take a long look at my life and I realized I’m boring as shit.” He laughed.
I bit the inside of my lip. That was exactly what Sam said about him. In those words too.
“Really?” I tried to sound as nonchalant as possible.
“I get the feeling you already knew that. So, anyway, I’m going to the Bahamas for a week with my friends.”
“That sounds good.”
“Yeah. I think so. Call me if you need me Olivia.”
“I will.”
He left and I sunk back into the cushions.
At least I was okay around people, even though inside I was crushed and torn. That was the best way I could describe my inner turmoil.
Crushed, torn and always close to tears. The tears were never far off because my soul hadn’t stopped weeping.
I got up and on very weak, shaky legs made my way out to the balcony. I’d only been walking around properly in the last week because every time I stood up it felt like my chest would cave in.
The blast of fresh air did me good. It was a warm day but there was a soothing breeze that carried through the trees, rustling the leaves.
I knew when I started searching for Sam it would be hard. Harder than last time because I didn’t have Dad. He hadn’t said anything about Sam. He just did his best to reassure me that he’d take care of me. It helped but part of me resented the fact that he was largely responsible for Sam leaving. It didn’t matter what Sam reasoned, in my head Dad added insult to injury.
Jada came out to the balcony with a crestfallen look on her face. Evi
dently about to give me bad news.
“It’s not good. The PI has no leads for Mexico. He’s asking if we have anywhere else we can search. Maybe Sam went somewhere else.”
“No, he would have gone to Mexico.”
“Girl, maybe plans changed and why would he go somewhere he’s been before?” The ends of her ponytail bobbled as she shook her head.
“Because, he never thought we’d go looking for him. It was goodbye Jada. It was goodbye so he would have gone somewhere that was him. That’s Mexico.”
Jada sighed, frustrated. “Okay so Mexico. I guess the only thing we could do is do more research there. But Olivia you told me if someone wanted to get gone there you wouldn’t be able to find them.”
“Yes, exactly. I was thinking I could go there. I could go there and maybe I’d just know he was there.” That was some type of wishful thinking.
Now she narrowed her eyes and tried not to look at me like I was crazy.
I pursed my lips together to try and hold the tears in. My damn eyes were swollen from the crying and I barely looked like myself. I didn’t want to cry anymore. I knew it all sounded ridiculous and it could potentially take years to find him, or never.
Then I’d have a child who wouldn’t know him. Who’d grow up thinking their father wasn’t around, or didn’t want to know.
That wasn’t Sam at all.
“Jada, just bear with me. I think I could get on a plane next week.” I had to do something.
“Girl, you can barely walk. I’ll go. I’ll go for you. If you want me to go next week. I’ll go and find him myself and then I’ll kill him for making me go all the way to Mexico to drag his ass back home, after I done told him not to leave.”
“Jada, I have to go. If I can walk I’ll get on a damn plane,” I insisted.
“No,” came a strong, firm, voice I’d always heard in my dreams.
Jada and I both turned simultaneously to see Sam standing in the doorway and Dad next to him.
All I could do was stare at him, wondering if he was real.
Was he real?
Was he really here?
His piercing blue gaze never left mine.
Instantly I remembered our first meeting when he first came back to L.A. I was in the same shock. The same shock took me and I couldn’t believe he was actually here. Here in front of us.
Here in front of me.
“No one has to go to Mexico. I’m home.”
“This is more like it.” Jada nodded beaming at him. She moved away from me.
Dad gave me a curt nod and looked from Sam to me with a bright smile. Sam acknowledged him and Dad and Jada left us alone.
I was still looking at him, unable to believe he was here.
He took a step toward me.
“Dear Olivia, it’s the best to see you. I’m never leaving you again. Not ever. Not even death can keep me away from you and our child, and the children we’re yet to have.” His eyes shone as he spoke, and the smile that lit up his face made his whole appearance glow.
The tears that came now were different. Tears of joy.
He said our child.
He knew. He knew. Dad must have told him.
I stepped to him too, my legs weak but fueled by the strength my heart that soared for him.
“Dear Sam, you better not leave me and make me go all the way to Mexico or the edge of the earth to find you.”
“Dear Olivia, if you went to Mexico I know you’d find me. Tell me… where would you look?” He breathed stepping closer and cupping my face.
I pressed my cheek into the warmth of his large hands and closed my eyes savoring the feel of him. The feel of his touch.
“Dear Sam, the beach. You’d be on the beach with a boat. Somewhere like…” I thought for a moment and thought of the first place I’d try. If we’d hired one of the very best PI’s money could buy and they hadn’t found Sam it meant I’d have to look for him with my heart. My heart told me he’d go to that place from that film. Shawshank Redemption. The beach the main character went to in the end. I didn’t know why I thought of there, considering I knew Sam and Coop had indulged on so many films in their collection. But that was where I saw him in my mind. “Zihuatanejo,” I added opening my eyes. I’d looked it up many years ago after I watched the film with them. I saw the way Sam looked at the end of the film and I imagined him there.
I smiled when he smiled down at me. “That place felt like you. I don’t know why. Not last time. This time though. You didn’t go there last time.”
“Dear Olivia, you know me too well. Yes, that’s exactly where I was. That’s where Joe found me.”
Dad found him. That made me feel even happier.
“Joe found me and gave me the very best news I could possibly have.” He placed his palm to my stomach and we both smiled. “We’re having a baby.”
I nodded. Relief washed over me at the thought of us doing this together. We’d be together and I didn’t have to raise our baby on my own.
“Yes. I don’t know what to say.” Heat radiated through my chest.
“It’s good news baby. Now I have two good things. Dear Olivia, I really did think leaving was best for you. When I tried to be with you, I seemed to make your life worse.”
“No, not at all. Not having you in my life is the thing that made it worse. You are my good thing too Sam. You always were. You’re the very best thing that happened to me.”
He leaned forward and pressed his forehead to mine for a few brief seconds and pulled back. I watched him reach into his back pocket and pull out a little blue box.
My breath hitched when he snapped it open and I saw what it was.
A little princess cut engagement ring sat in the center of the box surrounded by blue velvet. “I got this a few weeks back.”
“Weeks ago?” I gasped.
“Yeah.”
“I still have the other one.” I laughed.
“That was the old us. This is the new.” He smiled and lowered to one knee, reaching for my hand which I most happily gave him. A serious expression washed over his very handsome face and he looked at me with the purest love. “Dear Olivia, will you marry me? Please, marry me and be my girl forever.”
“Dear Sam, yes. The answer is always yes. I was always yours. Yours truly, Olivia.”
His face brightened right up. He slipped the ring on my finger and stood up, taking hold of me to give me a kiss I would always remember.
Finally, I felt that sense of completion.
True love and happiness blossomed and bloomed inside me, dancing within my heart. Surrounding my soul with sunshine.
Everything I ever wanted was right here in my arms.
Everything…
Sam.
Epilogue
Two years later …
Sam
* * *
“Sam, you can’t let the baby use that. Is it even clean?” Olivia snapped glowering at me.
“He’s fine. How will he learn to fish if he doesn’t fish?” I reasoned.
“He’s not even two yet,” she complained.
“It’s a baby fishing rod.” I held up the mini fishing rod I’d gotten at the store. It was a toy but it could in truth be used to fish.
“Babies don’t fish Sam. Coop come back to mama.”
Just as I predicted Coop took one look at his mama, shook his head, and waddled over to me.
Joe laughed at us, well mostly Olivia.
“Dad, this isn’t helping. Look at them. They’re teaming up against me.” She placed her hands on her hips and looked at our Cooper in my arms as I picked him up.
Cooper.
We named him after Coop. We both had the same idea and he looked like a Cooper Hawthorne.
He reached for my hair with his little hands and cast Olivia a wary look. He looked like me when he did that. He was a mixture of the two of us with honey colored eyes that was the same color as Olivia’s skin in the sun. Light brown curls covered his little head and he had his mother�
��s beauty.
“We think mama should come with us.”
Olivia frowned knowing that was exactly what I had planned. I caught a tuna last week and freaked her out.
“I think she should too,” Joe chuckled. “Grandpa’s going to call it a day and leave the happy family in peace.”
He was here every other day. He adored Coop and the two couldn’t get enough of each other.
Joe gave Olivia a hug and helped her on to the boat.
We watched him go and I turned to find her already looking at me with that expression of awe.
“Well played Sam, get the baby to work his little magic and then I’d come along.” She pretended to pout.
“Notice how it wasn’t that hard to convince you. It’s because we’re both so irresistible and you can’t say no to us.” I laughed and held Coop close so I could rub my cheek on his. He giggled in that cute way I loved.
It made Olivia laugh too.
“It’s true I can’t say no to you. Either of you.”
“All aboard?”
“All aboard.” She smiled and stood on the tips of her toes to kiss me.
I kissed her back in an exaggerated manner, like I hadn’t kissed her in years and like I didn’t already make love to her every chance in the day I got.
“Sam,” she pulled out of my grasp and smacked me playfully in my chest.
“What?”
“You can’t kiss me like that and then go sailing.” She took Coop from me and giggled.
“Just giving you a snap shot of what’s going to happen later.”
“Later?”
“Yes, later baby. Later when the cub’s fast asleep and I can devour mama bear and have her all to myself.” I gave her a slow once over sweep and had to calm myself.
Yours Truly Page 15
