“You’re killing me,” she said. “I am dead.”
His laugh was thin, but true. “Don’t be dramatic.”
“I’m not the one being dramatic! All you need to do is say something. It’s not that hard. Here, I’ll go first. I’m afraid of meeting this fox shifter because it could be a male in need of a wife. I don’t want to be trapped in a loveless marriage just because of some stupid fox shifter rules.”
Oscar’s response was an angry growl. He gripped the steering wheel with white knuckles.
“Okay, you’re being dramatic again.” His ire pleased her. It made her feel cherished, as if she weren’t just chattel. “You don’t understand. Mom is getting impatient. It’s her right to pair me with another fox shifter, but she tried to give me the time to find one on my own. I can’t just tell her I don’t want to marry a fox. It’s unheard of in our culture. Sooner or later, she’s going to find a fox shifter for me, and I’m not going to be able to argue.”
The words slipped out of her, leaving her feeling empty. The knot that had been building in her chest disappeared, but the sensation it left behind wasn’t pleasant. Regina felt like nothing, like no one.
“I wouldn’t let anyone force you into a marriage you didn’t want. I know you’re not my shifter, but I don’t think Nikolai would allow that either.”
Her heart sank. They didn’t understand. Should she rebel against her mother, she would lose the only semblance of family she had left. Her father was gone, most likely remarried to another poor fox shifter. It wasn’t that she wanted a relationship with him, but that she wanted to not be so alone. Her mother was the last connection to family, and if she went against her mother’s wishes, she might lose even that.
And her mother would agree to almost any fox shifter match, as long as the fox shifter didn’t hit her daughter. After all, without a fox shifter husband for Regina, how would there be any grandkits?
One would think that meeting her own mate would have shown her mother that Regina deserved to find a mate as well, but her mother focused just as much on finding a fox shifter for Regina as she always had.
To Regina, a mate was worth far more than a husband. Yet, Regina didn’t think the two were exclusive in her mother’s mind. Only a fox shifter could be the mate of another fox shifter to her mother. And if the first husband wasn’t a mate, maybe the second or third would be.
Why had she even brought it up? Exhaustion from the day before crept in at the edges, invited by her sudden sadness, making her body heavy and her eyes ache.
“I never had a mate,” Oscar blurted.
His words made her sit up in her seat so fast that she smacked her head on the lowered visor. Cursing under her breath, she held a hand to her forehead. Her mind spun, but not from the impact. No, Oscar’s confession had pulled a rug out from under her.
“I realized this when we were at the diner. While I loved her, she was never my mate. The bear didn’t love her as much as the human part of me did. I’m grateful for who she was to me, but now I’m thinking of what it might be like to finally have found my mate.”
Her brow furrowed. “What made you realize she wasn’t your mate? That’s quite the epiphany to have randomly.”
Oscar was quiet for a moment.
The car rolled through town, cookie-cutter houses rolling past. She knew that she was coming closer and closer to the fox shifter, but still she waited to hear what Oscar was holding back. There was one possible future looming before her, and another, a faint idea that she found herself hoping for.
No, it couldn’t be. It didn’t work that way, she reminded herself. Fox shifters didn’t mate other animals. At least, not as far as she knew.
“My bear never reacted to her the way it reacts to you,” Oscar confessed. He didn’t look at her, as if afraid of whatever he might find on her face.
She chewed the inside of her cheek, trying to decipher what that might mean. “Okay, so you’re telling me your bear is attracted to me? I think we covered that yesterday.”
The sexy time they shared in the hotel alcove had been mind blowing. She hadn’t known it could be like that with anyone, let alone by hand. Oscar hadn’t unzipped his pants, hadn’t asked for anything more than what he’d happily given. The thought made her stomach tight. Regina told herself she needed to put distance between them, but she just kept drifting back to him.
She was supposed to find this fox shifter and convince them to join Nikolai’s Pack. Oscar needed to fix his own life, to become more than just a gate keeper for his pack. No sex was worth that kind of mess. Especially if he kept turning away from the truth. She couldn’t stand beside him and watch him neglect his pack.
Regina sighed and rubbed her face with her hands.
“I’m sorry I brought it up. Don’t worry about it.” He flicked the signal light and pulled off the road. They parked in a small lot beside a local grocery shop.
Regina surged out of the car, more than eager to put space between her and Oscar. Her body and her fox begged her to go back. Both wanted her to throw herself into Oscar’s arms. She didn’t want to believe what that might mean.
It was neither possible, nor smart.
She turned toward the small town they were preparing to search. She didn’t know if she had the energy to help Oscar perform his trick again. It would leave her drained for the day, and she didn’t exactly want to get that close to him again. If she was smart, she’d get this over with and go back to her own life.
***
If Oscar hadn’t been driving, he would have roared and punched something. Her talk about fox shifters and her mother had driven a nail through his heart. Now that he was out of the car, his feet set to pacing. He tried to focus on the task at hand, finding the wild fox shifter, but his mind kept turning back to the truth Regina had shared with him.
When he snuck a glance at the red-haired vixen, he knew he would run away with her sooner than let her marry some idiot her mother picked out. To think that her life could be dictated so easily, so thoughtlessly, by someone else terrified him.
Yes, terrified him. At any moment, her mother could call and lay down her decision, ripping Regina away from him. He knew he had no right to her, no ties that had bonded them together other than a few moments shared over the course of a night, but he didn’t think that meant his feelings for her were any less true.
It’d slapped him in the middle of the night, a sudden and unrelenting urge to go to her. He’d done it, or at least got as far as her door. Standing outside her room, Oscar convinced himself he was intruding on her sleep and crept back to his own bed where he hugged one of the over stuffed pillows and drifted back to sleep.
“What makes you think the fox shifter would be here?” Regina shoved her hair back from her face as she peered around the neighborhood.
“Some people know how to forage for food in the forest, but not everyone. Where would you go if you were hungry?”
Her lips twisted to the side, a concern flashing across her face. Whatever was on her mind, it had her stepping closer to him than she had all day. She paused in his presence, still quiet and distant.
“If we were hunting down an adult, they might have their own apartment. A means to make money and get food.”
Oscar shrugged, but he could see where Regina was going. “I’m sure this wild shifter is just a lost adult. Would fox shifters allow a child to run around without supervision?”
Slowly, her gaze lifted to meet his. “Not if they ran away.”
His stomach flipped. Regina seemed to have no love for the family system she’d left. If what she said was any indication of what life was like for the fox shifters, then he didn’t blame her. It was possible that a child would want to run away from that, too.
He said a silent prayer to whatever powers were listening that it wasn’t a child they were searching for. He didn’t know how he and his bear might handle such a situation. Already, the bear dug in its claws, as if waiting to strike. It would rage against those
that would harm a child, without hesitation.
Oscar couldn’t afford to lose control of his beast again. He knew it was a downhill battle the more he thought about it, but then Regina leaned into him. She pressed her shoulder against him and let out a sigh. He held back the urge to wrap his arms around her, to hold her so she couldn’t escape again. While she touched him, the bear quieted. So, he kept still and basked in her aura.
“I’m going to go behind the store to shift. If anyone asks, having a tame fox isn’t all that strange.”
Oscar lifted a brow. “Is that even legal in California?”
She pushed away from his body and threw her hands into the air as if to say she didn’t care if it was or not. She was a wily fox and would find her way out of the situation should anyone stop to ask. He trusted her in that.
Oscar watched her disappear behind the grocery store. While she stripped and shifted out of sight, he thought about the meager hours they’d spent together. He was surprised to admit they were the best hours in a very long time. His mind should have been filled with images of good times with his Pack, but all he could think of was the drive out, the kiss they’d shared in the hall, and the fun they’d had in the alcove.
Perhaps he was only sex starved. Regina was a walking sex symbol, a femme fatale out of a black and white movie that was painted in the vibrant colors of reality. There was a wish inside him, one that he’d turned over a few times during the night before.
If Regina could be his mate, he would be a happy man for the rest of his life. Though, he wasn’t sure he deserved her. It was clear that she was trying to keep her distance from him. Nothing he’d done as of yet had convinced her that he was worthy. Something was stopping her. He just didn’t know what.
There was a sneaking suspicion rising through him that he knew, he just didn’t want to face it. Things were going fine. His Pack was fine, strong even. His life was simple and normal, nothing blowing up in his face the way it had for Nikolai recently.
Before he could dissect the thought, a dog sized fox bounded out from behind the store. There was a bundle of green fabric in her mouth that she handed over to him once she reached him. Confused, he took it, only to find that it was her dress. He cocked a brow. It was her dress and nothing else.
A smirk touched the corner of his mouth.
He tossed the dress into the car and turned toward the fox waiting for him. Once she saw that he was ready, she lifted her nose to the air. There were other, more mundane ways of finding fox shifters. Regina’s nose led them through winding suburban streets, sometimes looping them through cul-de-sacs on the edge of town before bringing them back.
They passed houses big and small, cars built like tanks and cars built for speed, xeriscape lawns and lawns watered by sprinklers on timers. It seemed a nice place to live, but it was too cramped for shifters. There was no room to shift and run, no room to live a life without being caught by a prying human eye. Oscar was sure no shifters would ever try living here until Regina stopped outside a house.
She sat back on her haunches. Oscar frowned at her until he followed her gaze. Together, they looked through the wide bay window of the front of the house and watched a family scene unfold. It wasn’t the kind one saw in commercials or old sitcoms. An older man screamed in a young woman’s face. He tossed his arms, making a big show of his anger.
More people stood off to the side, only unrecognizable shapes from where he and Regina stood. The young woman glanced at them from time to time, her frown deepening until the man pulled her attention back to him with a forceful hand.
Regina growled beside him. He heard the scratch of her claws on the concrete as her haunches raised. Quickly, he reached down and grasped her by the scruff if her neck. She’d been moments away from darting in to save the girl.
Oscar told himself it wasn’t his place. The wild shifter he’d been looking for had been nothing more than a runaway. She had a family. He didn’t need to butt in. Regina, on the other hand, dug in with her claws. Each step away from the house was a battle against her will. She left gouges in the sidewalk until he lifted her off the ground.
With a bucking fox in his arms, Oscar retreated into the shadows. From there, he watched two men leave the house. The father followed in their wake. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but the father was shaking his head.
Oscar made a quick decision to get closer. He jumped from shadow to shadow, keeping himself downwind. From the other side of a neighbor’s fence, Oscar listened in on their conversation.
“She’ll marry your boy,” one man said.
Oscar peered between the slats in the fence to see who was talking. The father sucked his teeth as he watched the other two men. One was just as old as the father. Beside him was a man around Oscar’s age. It was difficult to tell with the way shifters aged. He could have been sixty, but still looked in his early thirties.
The father jerked his chin toward the younger man. “Zara won’t have the same attitude problem at the wedding. I promise you.”
The younger man scratched the scruff of his chin, eyes darting toward the window of the house. “If you don’t take care of it, I will after the wedding.”
Oscar’s stomach tightened. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised. Regina had warned him about fox shifter culture, at least of this part. Still, he clutched her close to his chest while fear stabbed at his heart. He feared for the girl inside. He feared for the woman in his arms.
This was what their lives were like? Oscar wanted to trample it, to take over and rearrange their ways to protect those who were hurt by it. But, then what? He couldn’t lead his own Pack plus theirs. Hell, he knew he was barely leading at all.
He provided a safe place for his shifters, but other than that, he was hands off. Even if he rescued this girl, what was he bringing her into? A group of shifters who couldn’t rely on their Alpha?
Slowly, Oscar forced himself to turn away from the fence. Regina kicked at his chest. She surged out of his arms in one smooth motion. He opened his mouth to shout at her and snapped it shut again, aware of the men behind the fence. Regina raced toward the back of the house, disappearing around the corner.
He swore to himself and chased after her. This wasn’t the first time she’d run away from him, but he thought she might be running toward something. Sure enough, as he rounded the corner, he found her sitting before the young woman. Regina sat on her haunches and looked up at the girl.
Oscar didn’t reveal himself. He waited for whatever Regina had in mind, trusting her.
“I know you’re not just some dumb animal,” the girl snapped. She held a cigarette between her fingers, making Oscar’s stomach roll. It was a revolting habit, especially for someone so young.
Regina bobbed her head, a goofy fox grin on her face. She had no voice, but her body language said it all. She leapt to her feet and circled the girl, trying to push at the back of her knees. It took Oscar a moment to realize she was pushing the girl toward him.
There was no time to hiss at her, to tell her to stop. This wasn’t their problem. Unfortunately, he realized Regina thought of it as her problem. She was a fox shifter. This was her realm, her reality. She shoved the girl toward him, a pathetic attempt to save the girl.
“Quit it you idiot.” The girl jumped back from Regina, a scowl darkening her face. “Shit is already blowing up in my face. I don’t need a stranger making it any worse.”
Regina stopped, dead in her tracks. There was horror in her fox eyes. Oscar wanted to run out and grab her, but he didn’t want to give himself away. He didn’t want to drag the girl from one hell into another.
There were things that needed to change first.
He waited for Regina to return. She spent a few more minutes in the young woman’s presence before sulking toward him. She cast an accusing look at him, as if to ask why he didn’t do what he’d come here to do. He had no answer for her. Not yet.
Back at the car, he told her he wanted to go back to the hotel for
another night. The fox form of Regina wasn’t convinced, but she had no voice to argue unless she wanted to shift in front of him, which she wouldn’t do. He could tell from the way she curled up on the back seat, tail over her nose as she glared at him.
He wasn’t the person she wanted him to be. He wasn’t a brave hero who broke the rules in order to save souls. In reality, he was just a man with a broken vision. It needed work; he knew that. He needed work, but he wasn’t about to ask Regina to be the one to put him back together.
If he was going to court her, pursue her in the way his bear so urgently wanted, then he needed to fix this vision he had. Oscar hoped that would help him, too. If he could find his footing in this world he’d left behind, then it was possible he could become someone Regina deserved.
A burning knot formed in his chest. She was a fox, her life and culture laid out before him. It wouldn’t matter to her family if an Alpha wanted to pursue her. He wasn’t a fox. Her family would never agree.
The bear rose, ready to fight whoever would try to tear them apart. It was attached to Regina, for now and always. He glanced in the rearview mirror at the fox in his backseat. He would be a better man for her. Perhaps not a hero, but Oscar could be someone his Pack could turn to. He wanted that, at the very least.
Chapter Eleven
Regina wandered down the hall. They’d been given the same rooms again, each at the opposite end. Regina stared at Oscar’s door, wondering if she should knock, if she should give in to the urge to curl into his body and cry.
Both she and her fox were mad at him. He’d done nothing to help the girl, when Regina knew he could have saved her. If he’d gotten the girl away from that life, Regina could have whisked her away to Nikolai’s Pack, where she could pledge to him and be safe. Nikolai would have fought tooth and nail to protect the young fox shifter. She knew it.
Her mind spun, poking holes in her idea of rescue until she felt deflated. In the end, she didn’t approach Oscar’s door. Instead, she retreated to her own room and started to run a bath. She sank into the hot water, letting the jets massage away the worries that gripped her.
Her Alpha Mismatch Page 9
