by Bella J.
No compartmentalizing.
No secret compartments pushed to the back of my mind.
No turning off my humanity.
There was no controlling anything during those moments of complete vulnerability…and that was where I was now. In that moment. In that vortex of color which would soon suck me back into the dark hole I’d come to call my existence.
I heard the soft sound of movement. Felt a subtle touch against my face. It burned. Every touch, every contact seared my skin, no matter who it was.
My body felt like lead, my heartbeat echoing with a pained rhythm inside my head.
Disappointment. It was always there whenever reality seeped through, proving I was still alive.
“She’s waking up.”
“Is she okay?”
Unfamiliar voices were never a good sign…for me.
“Back up a little. Give her some room.”
I wanted to keep my eyes closed. I wanted to pretend like I was dead, as if I had no pulse. No life. But I knew it would only postpone the inevitable. And the sooner I walked through the hell which lay ahead of me, the sooner I could get through it. But something was different. The dull ache which seemed to always pound against my skull—it wasn’t there. And the weak, nauseated feeling in the pit of my stomach was gone. My mouth didn’t feel dry, like sandpaper, and my body felt…different.
Immediately, warning scratched at the back of my head. Different meant bad things. Different was never good.
Reluctantly, I let my eyes flutter open. It took a few seconds for the light to seep through the darkness.
“Don’t be afraid. I’m a doctor and I’m here to help you.”
Don’t be afraid. Three words I’d heard so many times, and it always meant just the opposite.
“I am Dr. Ramirez and you don’t have to be afraid.”
There it was again. Another attempt at reassurance, which in the end would be nothing but empty words.
My gaze drifted upward to the man behind the voice, and I caught sight of another man standing to the right. It was the same man who found me first. But where was he? The man I recognized as my next master. He was here, in this room. I could feel him. His presence. His darkness. He was close by, judging by the way my skin crawled and how my insides felt all twisted together. Men like him demanded everything, your body, your mind…your senses. He hadn’t taken claim of my body yet, but his mere presence had already claimed my mind and demanded my senses. Soon, he would take my body as well.
“How are you feeling?” For a second, I glanced back to the man with the stethoscope around his neck, but I diverted my gaze straight ahead, right at the pale blue wall right in front of me. Silent. Confused. Afraid.
“What is your name?”
My name? Someone like me didn’t have the privilege of having her own name. I was nobody. I was nothing. I continued to look at the wall.
“You were severely dehydrated when we found you, which is why you’re currently hooked to an IV. Can you tell us where you’re from?”
I can’t tell you anything. I don’t belong to you.
Just by glancing at them, I knew they weren’t a part of my world. Their eyes were void of darkness and cruelty, lacking the power and authority I had been forced to live with almost my entire life.
The man claiming to be the doctor leaned down, placing his hand on my forehead. I jerked back and snarled, fear bolting through every muscle in my body.
Immediately, he retreated. “You don’t have to be afraid. I’m not going to hurt you.”
Words. That was all they were. Empty, hollow, worthless words.
My gaze returned to the pale blue wall. There was nothing but ice coursing through my veins, yet my skin felt damp. He was here. Somewhere.
“Do you have any pain?”
Just more words I’d heard before. And no matter the answer, the consequences were never good for me. If I had answered yes, I would have been scolded and punished for being weak and ungrateful. If I had answered no, I would have been given a reason to answer yes. I was screwed either way, which was why I chose silence.
“Maybe she doesn’t understand English.” The voice of the other man was harder, firmer, than the so-called doctor’s. “Maybe she’s Italian.” From the corner of my eye, I noticed him stepping forward. “Come ti chiami?” What is your name?
Yes, I understood Italian. I also understood a little Russian. And I definitely understood English.
I kept staring at the wall.
“Nope. Doesn’t seem like she understands Italian either.” He stepped back while the doctor remained still.
I continued to lie still. Quietly waiting.
The doctor remained by my side. “Maybe we should—”
“What is your name?”
Instantly every hair on my body stood on end, and I closed my eyes as I let out a steady breath. It was him. The devil I had felt in this room all along.
The ice which coursed through my veins ceased, fear clawing its grip through every bone. This time I had no choice. He demanded it. His voice demanded it.
I sat up, turning my head in the direction his voice came from, but I didn’t look up. I didn’t dare.
“I asked, what is your name?”
I swallowed hard. “Nessuno.” My voice was almost inaudible.
“Look at me.”
Shivers spread throughout my body. His voice alone evoked fear and panic which stemmed from the deepest parts of my soul. No one else would have been able to hear it. But I did. I knew the sound of pure authority and raw power.
Slowly, I turned my head in his direction.
“Look at me,” he demanded, and I forced my gaze up to meet his.
His eyes were dark, hard, merciless orbs which conveyed one clear message. Dominance.
My body shuddered, and I had to fight the urge to look away.
His dark brows furrowed. “Nessuno. That means nobody in Italian.”
It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t attempt to answer in any way.
“What is your real name?”
I bit my bottom lip. “That is…my name is Nessuno.”
His eyes remained fixed on mine and I wanted to squirm away from his scrutinizing gaze.
Broad shoulders. Ink black hair. And a presence strong enough to be felt through marrow and bone. He was the one. I felt it, the same way I always had whenever the time had come…the time for me to obey a new master.
Chapter 4
Antonio
I stood silently in the corner of the room, watching, observing, waiting for the woman to respond to the oh-so-patient doctor. Her frail little body just laid there under the thin white blanket, her head facing the wall to her left. She couldn’t see me since I stood by the wall behind her. But somehow I knew she was aware of me, my presence. I couldn’t explain it. It was just something I felt…something I was convinced she felt as well.
When I asked her what her name was, I didn’t mean to sound commanding. It wasn’t my intention. Somehow the words just came out that way. It was as if her entire demeanor required it, and I had no difficulty meeting her silent demand.
And then she answered. After the doctor had attempted to get a response out of her for ten fucking minutes, she answered me within ten fucking seconds. It seemed as if she didn’t even take note of the other two men in the room. Just me.
Just, fucking, me.
That was when I knew, she and I, we were from the same world. One forced and ruined to exist within it…the other willing, yet unable to participate.
Nessuno. Nobody.
I narrowed my eyes as I continued to look at her. Not once did she attempt to make eye contact. Her head remained bowed, and shoulders slumped forward. To everyone else, it would have been interpreted as nothing more than a woman being scared, overcome with fear. To me, her behavior painted an entirely different picture, one of sheer submission, a sight I was painfully familiar with. But this, her, it was different. It wasn’t just an act of simple surrender
for the sake of sexual pleasure. It was a display of obedience by relinquishing all control, not because she wanted to…because she had to. And the more I stared at her, the more I felt that familiar prickle of dangerous excitement at the back of my skull, traveling all the way down my spine. It was luring me in, tempting the darkness I’d kept contained for so long.
If she knew…if everyone only knew…
Lucio moved in next to me. “What did you just do?”
I ignored him, never taking my eyes off her. “Where are you from, Nessuno?”
Her shoulders slumped forward even more. “I have no home.”
“That’s not what I asked.” I stepped closer. “I asked where you’re from.” My heart pounded, my whole body electrified. Something was awakening deep within me. I could feel it gnawing, scratching against every bone. It both excited and terrified me at the same time.
I moved closer, heat spreading across every inch of my skin. “By not answering my question, you are defying me, Nessuno. Is that what you want, to defy me?”
Her body shuddered and for a brief moment, I was sucked back into the past, into the role I had played so many times. Her gaze left mine and dropped to the white sheet covering her frail body.
It was unacceptable. “Look at me!”
And then the heart monitor started to go apeshit, the beeping sound echoing loudly around us. Dr. Ramirez held up his hand. “That’s enough. Her heart rate just went through the damn roof.” He lightly placed his hand on her shoulder, but it startled her, and she jerked back. “Nessuno, you need to calm down,” the doctor urged, but the monitor wouldn’t shut up.
Like a blow to the head, I got knocked back to what the fuck was really going on. I cursed, then looked at her pale face, her body shivering underneath the sheets.
Jesus.
I moved forward but made no attempt to touch her. “Lie down, Nessuno. You need to calm down.”
She lowered her gaze and eased back, like an obedient little lamb.
A docile submissive.
A well-trained slave.
“Let the doctor take care of you. Don’t fight him. Do you understand?”
Like a switch, her body went from firm and rigid to frail and placid. Her only response was a slight nod without looking at me, her eyes remaining downcast, heavy, sad, as if her soul had lost all hope. The worst part? I was intrigued by it…by her.
As the doctor took her vitals, I continued to stare at her. Pale skin. Pronounced cheekbones. Lips with a bluish tone. Her soft black hair was a mess of long, dirty, unruly curls which covered the left side of her face. Whatever this woman had been through, it broke her. And judging by how despondent she was, and the washed-out look on her face, it fucking ruined her. Completely.
Lucio stepped up to me. “Did that feel as weird as it looked?”
I narrowed my eyes and turned to him. “What?”
“It was like you two got sucked into a different world there for a second.”
“That’s ridiculous.” I brushed past him and walked out. I was starting to fucking suffocate in there. It was like this woman and the entire scenario around her sucked all the oxygen out of the fucking room. Of course, Lucio followed.
“So, what the hell do you think is going on?”
“I don’t know.” Okay, I had an idea of what was going on, but I didn’t know for sure. Human trafficking was not the kind of thing one wanted to spit out left, right, and center. It was serious shit. In fact, it was more serious than any other problem we Valentis had ever had to deal with. That was, if it was indeed the case. And going by the rate of cooperation we’ve received from Nessuno—which I was pretty sure wasn’t her real name—I’d guessed it wasn’t going to be easy figuring out exactly what the fuck was going on.
But there was something about her, about how she reacted to me. It was as if I had a direct line to her psyche. As if she had no choice but to respond to me. And, by God, it did something to me. It made my spine tingle. It invoked a dangerous excitement that pulsed through my body, while in the back of my mind I heard the malevolence that scratched against the surface. That was why it was so fucking easy for me to slip into that role, a role she seemed to have demanded.
Fuck. I had to fight it. I’d been fighting it for years…but if my suspicion about Nessuno was correct, I was going to have to fight harder to keep my demons contained.
Lucio fell in to step next to me. “For the first time in a very long time, my mind is drawing a blank, cousin. How the fuck are we going to figure this one out? Where do we even start?”
“If we can just get a fucking lead on that container.”
Lorik came walking toward us. “Sorry, bro. So far, the only explanation as to where that container came from is that it dropped out of the fucking sky.”
I frowned. “No leads down at the precinct?”
“Nope. Nada. I asked a few guys to dig deeper, but my instincts are telling me they won’t find anything.”
Feeling frustrated as hell, I let out a breath. “Fuck. We have no leads and Nessuno ain’t telling us shit.”
Lorik frowned. “Nessuno?”
“Yeah, we managed to get a name, at least.”
“Nessuno is a weird fucking name. What is it, Japanese?”
“Italian. It means nobody.”
Lorik shifted from one leg to the other. “Are you telling me that girl’s name is Nobody?”
I nodded. “I have a feeling it’s not the name her parents gave her.”
“Then who? Wait.” Lorik shook his head lightly. “I’m so confused right now.”
Lucio patted him on the shoulder. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, man. You’re just Albanian, after all.”
Lorik scowled at him. “Here’s a riddle for your tiny little Italian brain. What rhymes with ‘fuck you?’”
“Um…”
Lorik shoved Lucio backward. “Fuck you.”
I glanced between the two dumbasses, then decided no matter what I said right at that moment, it would not make their asses less dumb.
Dumbasses.
“Okay.” I straightened. “I’ll be removing myself from this conversation and go put my Italian brain to better use by trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. Lorik, could you please use your Albanian brain and go take that woman’s fingerprints?”
I turned, and as I stomped down the hall, Dante came rushing around the corner holding an envelope out to me. “This shit just got real, brother.”
I took the envelope. “What is it?”
“Read it.”
Every instinct I had instantly went on high alert. The white envelope I held between my fingers felt like it had a ticker attached to it, the bomb about to explode any second. I kept my gaze on Dante’s worried face while I took out the piece of paper inside the already opened envelope. And then I read it.
You took something that doesn’t belong to you.
Are you able to pay the price?
“Sweet Jesus.” I looked back up at Dante. “Who sent this?”
“I have no idea. It was delivered via courier about half an hour ago. One of the housekeepers signed for it.”
“Who was it addressed to?”
Dante stared at me. “It was addressed to you.”
If my heart was a jackhammer, my chest would have been nothing but broken pieces of bone.
“Thanks, idiots.” Lorik grabbed the note from my grasp. “Now you have both your goddamn fingerprints over the only piece of evidence we got.” He glared my way. “What did you say about your tiny little Italian brain?”
Lucio plucked the letter from Lorik’s hands. “I believe a riddle comes to mind.”
And then I lost it.
“Would you two just fucking stop!” My voice echoed down the hall in angry waves, slamming against the walls. “If you can’t take any of this seriously, then you should both fuck off right now because I am no longer putting up with your shit. Our family is a fucking target.” I yanked the letter from Lucio. “This shitty p
iece of fucking paper is one giant threat, and I will not let you two assholes make light of any of this.”
Lucio held up his hands. “Yo, cous. Relax, okay? We know this is serious.”
“Well, it sure as fuck doesn’t look like you know. So stop fucking around.”
Three pairs of eyes stared at me, and I was pretty sure I heard crickets in the background…along with my rapid breathing.
Lorik moved forward, his eyes never leaving mine, and cautiously took the piece of paper from me. He gave a step back and eased past me, heading in the other direction while holding the paper up in his hand. “I’ll just go get our little nobody’s fingerprints, then see if I can find any fingerprints on this piece of paper that doesn’t belong to a fucking Valenti.” And then he rushed into the room.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. My heart felt like it had the strength to claw up my throat.
“Antonio,” Dante placed a hand on my shoulder, “we’ll figure this out. We always do.”
I opened my eyes and looked right at him. “What if we don’t? This isn’t cocaine or heroin. This isn’t illegal weapons, Dante. This is a living, breathing person. And looking at the condition she’s in, I’m pretty sure we just opened up a box of fucked-up shit. And now this letter. What does it even fucking mean? What did we take? Her?” I pointed down the hall to the room where we had Nessuno. “And what price? We would be all kinds of stupid if we didn’t take this seriously.”
“I know that. But something tells me we should just give it time. We have no leads except our Jane Doe and this creepy as fuck letter. So, let’s all breathe, take a step back, and let it unfold. That’s our only option right now.”
Deep down, I knew my younger brother was right. There really wasn’t much we could do with the amount of knowledge we had—which was near to fucking zero. But I hated it. It felt like it was eating away at me, all the uncertainty. How were we supposed to strategize and fight back, eliminate the threat, when we didn’t even know who or what the threat was? I was the goddamn boss, the one responsible for our family, and my hands were tied.
