by Bella J.
It was bittersweet, this moment. The moment when I was forced to stop fighting…and to unchain the darkness. Who would have thought the one thing that had the power to destroy me now had the power to give us all the answers we needed?
Irony, you son of a bitch.
I reached out then stilled as my hand hovered over her. My chest ached, yet my blackened soul pulsed with exhilaration. My head screamed at me not to do this, but the curse of my nature pressed me further.
And then my desperation for answers and vengeance gave me the final push I needed to fall over the edge.
I placed my hand on her head and felt her suck in a breath at the same time a wave of power crashed against my spine. For the first time in years, I allowed myself to feel what I had denied myself for so long—the lethal combination of control, power…and ecstasy.
Like an owner to his pet, I stroked my fingers through her hair, one simple act which relayed one powerful message. I was taking ownership. Staking my claim.
Nessuno was now mine.
Chapter 7
Nessuno
His touch told me everything I needed to know. The way his fingertips rubbed against my skull, the feel of his palm brushing against my hair. It was a simple act. Gentle. But it was a powerful display of his newfound dominion over me. Over my body.
I was now his. Owned by him—body, mind, and soul. For now, my sole purpose was to amuse him. To please him. To worship him. In turn, I could only hope he would take care of me in a way he saw fit…until he grew tired of me, then passing me on to the next devil who needed a pet to play with.
My last master tolerated me the longest. Master V used me more than any other master I had before him. Kept me locked and caged for what seemed like forever. Occasionally, he allowed others to use me, but always under his supervision. He never left me alone with other men, but that didn’t stop them from using me thoroughly. But Master V had rules. I was never allowed to talk to them. To call any of them Master. That was his privilege and his alone. I could still remember the face of the man who lost control, who tried to force the word out of me by holding a knife against my throat while his cock was buried inside me. Master V couldn’t see the knife with the man’s back turned toward him. And as he leaned forward, whispering in my ear to utter the word “master” softly so he could come, a loud crack echoed through the room, slamming like thunder against the roof. After that, all I saw was red. All I felt was warm liquid dripping from my face while I hung shackled from the ceiling.
Master V had killed him. A single bullet to the skull. If he hadn’t done such vile things to me, hurt and broken me in the cruelest of ways, that would have been the moment I thought he cared. That in a warped, twisted way, I truly did belong to him. I remembered him telling me more than once that I was one of the special ones—which was why he loved hurting me the most. And for a while, I thought he would be my ultimate master. The one who my life would end with. But now, it seemed I was once again sold to the highest bidder. A new master.
That was my life. That was my fate. I was nothing without a master. And for a long time, I struggled to accept my fate. So many nights I spent crying until I would pass out from exhaustion. The pain I felt on the inside was far worse than the physical pain I endured. But after a while, I realized no amount of tears would change anything. This was what my life had become. I made peace with the fact that I was placed on this earth to serve. Nothing else. After a while, I found myself needing it. The approval. The sense of belonging—even if it meant pain.
I remained on my knees, my head against the floor in front of my new master, his fingers pulling leisurely strokes through my hair.
“What is your story, Nessuno?” He spoke so softly, as if his words were mere echoes of his thoughts. “I need to figure out what’s going on. I need to protect what’s mine.”
Me. I am yours.
“But in order for me to do that, I need to solve the mystery that is you.”
I am nothing.
“This isn’t going to be easy, but it has to be done.”
It’s never easy.
“So, the sooner we start, the sooner we can figure everything out.”
His hand slipped from my hair, softly tracing the contour of my face as he lifted my gaze to meet his. “So, let’s start.”
A chill wracked through my body, my skin burning at the place where his touch remained under my chin. The promise, the warning, the threat that laced his every word sliced through my chest like broken glass.
He was different. Yes, I saw the wickedness of his lust for power burn in his dark irises, but there was something more. Determination. Grit. Pure resolve. It emanated from his pores, and I could feel it suffocating me. I was no stranger to fear. Terror, panic, trepidation, it clung to me like a second skin. But what I felt now as I stared into the endless depths of his brown eyes was something I had never felt before. It was beyond fear. Beyond apprehension. It was a sense of foreboding. A warning.
“First things first.” He let go of my chin, and I let my gaze drop to the floor. “I have three rules. Three rules you will not break under any circumstances. Rule number one, when I talk to you, when I address you, you look at me.”
What? I looked up at him in surprise, momentarily forgetting my place. Never look your master in the eye unless ordered.
He shrugged. “You don’t seem like a woman who talks much, so I need to see your face when I speak to you. It’s the only way I’ll be able to tell what’s going on in that little head of yours.” He moved closer, his face inches from mine. “And I need to know what’s going on inside that head of yours.”
Why? Why would anyone want to know what was going on inside my head? There was nothing but nightmares and terror lurking in my thoughts. My mind was no place for any sane human being.
“Do you understand?”
“Yes, Ma—”
“Rule number two. You can address me as sir. Not Master.” His grip tightened under my chin as he leaned forward. “Never Master. Understand?”
I swallowed. “Yes, sir.”
“Good.” He let go of my face and sat back. “Now, for rule number three. You need to listen real closely for this one. If you think I give a shit about what you’ve been through for fuck knows how long, you’re wrong. I don’t. What I do give a shit about is figuring out what the fuck is going on.”
Going on with what?
“And I’ll do what I need to do to get to the bottom of this shit hole. No one will stop me.” He leaned just an inch closer, his eyes beaming with sheer determination. “No. One. Not even you.”
Something wasn’t right. Everything about him, his words, his threats—it was all wrong. He was acting as if…as if he thought I was a threat—which I wasn’t. But why?
“So, rule number three. From today, there is nothing else but me.”
Abruptly, he jerked forward and grabbed a fistful of hair at the back of my head, his face inches from mine. I gasped and dropped my gaze downward.
“Nah-ah-ah, you’re already breaking rule number one.”
With fear pulsing through every vein, I looked up at him, in his eyes. It was such a simple act, but I had to scrape together every ounce of strength I had to hold his gaze. Every instinct I had screamed at me to look away, to look down at the floor. After all, it was what I had been taught to do. What had been beaten and whipped into me for so long.
The corners of his mouth twitched. “I can see it’s difficult for you, which is why I’ll be lenient…for now. But a fair warning, do not take advantage of my leniency.”
I swallowed. “Yes, sir.”
“Good girl. Now, let me elaborate on the third rule. From this very moment, you have nothing but me. You don’t have a will. You do not have a future.” Dark eyes raked across every inch of my face until his gaze settled on mine. “And you sure as fuck have no past.”
Confusion dropped over me like a veil as I took in his words.
Again, he let go of me with a jerk before leis
urely leaning back in his seat. I, on the other hand, remained still, frozen on the spot.
He crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You will forget everything you’ve been taught. And I mean everything. All the goddamn rules that have ever been beaten into you are now gone. None of them matter anymore. From today, your life will be as if it had always been me. No one else. Just. Me.” His voice was low, demanding, and echoed authority, leaving me no choice but to look him in the eye. He moved forward, placing his elbows on his knees. “Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
No.
His lips curved at the edges. “I can see this is a concept you’re going to have some trouble comprehending.” He shrugged. “It’s easy, actually. Just think of me as your very first teacher who is about to teach you how to walk all over again.”
The amusement in his tone sent shivers down my spine. But he was right. I couldn’t understand what he was saying. The men who had owned me in the past, the men who used me, appreciated the discipline and obedience that had been beaten into me by others. That meant less hassle for them. But now he was asking me to forget everything I’d learned, every rule which had been engraved into my soul, one lash after the other.
Gently, he slipped the back of his hand down the side of my face. “In short, rule number three…” He leaned his head to the side. “I. Am. Your. King.”
What? But that wasn’t a rule. That was a statement. A goddamn declaration. That wasn’t a rule. My mind had been programmed to follow clear rules, instructions on how to act. How to please my masters so I could avoid pain. Avoid punishment.
That wasn’t a fucking a rule.
His fingers weaved all the way down to the ends of my hair. “Not what you were expecting?”
I remained silent. My instincts told me the question was rhetorical.
“That’s okay. You’ll have plenty of time to think about it.”
He stood from his chair, his tall, broad frame casting a shadow over me. Then I felt him place something warm, soft over my back and shoulders. I gasped when I realized it was his jacket he had draped over my naked body. Even if his intentions weren’t good and pure, it was a kindness I hadn’t been shown for a really long time.
It confused the hell out of me.
“I’m letting the doctor come back in, and you will let him do what he needs to do to help you recover. You might be a slave, but there’s no reason for you to look like one.”
As he turned, I dropped my gaze to the floor. My mind was reeling, my thoughts making absolutely no sense. Nothing about my new ma…no, not my master…my owner made any sense. With memories scattering around inside my head, memories I had been ordered to forget, I sat back, not even registering the cold from the floor as it seeped through my naked skin.
“Oh, one more thing.” He stopped and turned back toward me. Immediately, I looked up at him.
“You will no longer go by the name Nessuno. Nessuno no longer exists. Your new name will be Doe,” he shrugged, “for Jane Doe. At least until the day you trust me enough to tell me your real name.” He narrowed his eyes, pinning me to the floor with his gaze. “And you will trust me. Doe.”
Chapter 8
Antonio
It was only a half hour, a mere thirty minutes I spent in that room with her. But during that short amount of time, my willpower had been tested more than ever before. I felt like Jesus in the desert, tempted by the devil to give in to his most basic needs just to survive.
For one thousand, eight hundred seconds, my insides burned, the raw need of my depravity knocking against my skull, urging me to embrace the role I needed to play. To use it to my full advantage. The demon who sat on my shoulder whispered into my ear a hundred different ways to justify my actions if I had to act on impulse. If I had to use the opportunity which presented itself on hands and knees.
But I fought. I struggled against every twisted desire and refused to succumb to the temptation. Those three rules I laid down, it wasn’t for my amusement. It wasn’t to teach her her place. It was to protect her…to protect her from me.
Look me in the eye. The less she acted like a slave, the less the chances were of her tempting me into losing my shit.
Never call me Master. The last woman who referred to me as Master was still wearing the scars as evidence of what it did to me. That one goddamn word catapulted me from being human straight to being a fucking animal.
I am your king. The less she defied me, the less she fucked up, the less the chances were of me ruining her even further. Fucking up meant punishment, and for a sadistic fuck like me, dealing out punishment was like goddamn Christmas.
I had to keep my head. Keep my eye on the endgame. This was all just a means to an end—embracing this role, acting the way Nessuno—Doe needed me to in order to get her to trust me. I needed her trust. I needed her secrets. It was the only way I could win this war.
After placing my suit jacket over her shivering, naked body, I turned and walked away. It was only when I reached the door that it occurred to me to give her a new name. Nessuno was just about the shittiest name anyone could have given her. No woman deserved to be called nobody. She was somebody…and I was going to find out exactly who she was.
“How did it go?”
I was met with Lucio’s wide-eyed gaze as I closed the door behind me. “Just FYI, that’s a stupid fucking question.”
He shrugged. “I’m serious. How did it go?”
“How the fuck do you think it went? I just gave a woman the impression that she’s a prisoner here. That I’m her fucking—I dunno—owner.”
Lucio stared at me, deadpan. “Soooo…I’m guessing it didn’t go that well.”
I brushed past him. “I don’t know about this, Lucio. There’s a lot of shit that can go wrong.”
“And when you say shit, you mean you losing your shit?”
I cursed. My little cousin always managed to go from one extreme to the other. He was either a godsend or a huge fucking pain in my ass. Right now, he was the latter.
Just as I was about to tell Lucio to back the fuck off and to mind his own motherfucking business, Karina came walking around the corner carrying arms full of clothing.
“How is she doing?”
I stopped and sighed. “Hopefully it will go better now. I told her to allow Doc to take care of her.”
Karina lifted a brow. “And she’s going to cooperate just because you told her to?”
Lucio and I gave each other knowing looks. Of course, Karina noticed.
“What is going on?”
“Nothing. We’ve got it all under control.” I glanced at the clothes she was holding. “Is that for her?”
“Yeah. I don’t think it will fit, though. She’s so underweight. But I arranged for some smaller sizes to be sent from the boutique later this afternoon.” She lifted her arms. “In the meantime, these will have to do.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
“Sure.”
Karina walked off, leaving me and Lucio behind.
“So,” Lucio crossed his arms, “was there any indication during the conversation you had with Nessuno—”
“Doe.”
“What?”
“Her name. It’s Doe now.”
Lucio looked all sorts of confused. “Her name is Doe now?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
I shifted from one leg to the other, then turned, walking the other way.
“Antonio, why is her name Doe now? Did you, like, rename her?”
While still walking, I shrugged. “It’s not like Nessuno was her real name anyway, so I thought I might as well give her another one.”
“Again…why?”
I stopped abruptly, then turned to face my nosy as fuck cousin. “Because no woman deserves to carry that kind of name.”
Lucio’s dark gaze met mine while the world’s most awkward silence ensued. I saw it. I saw the way he analyzed my decision to give her another name. He fucking dissected it in hi
s tiny little brain.
I scowled at him. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“I don’t know. Just don’t.” I turned and rounded the corner.
“You went all alpha on her, didn’t you?”
“Jesus Christ. All alpha?” I entered the bar and went straight for the half bottle of bourbon while grabbing a glass.
Lucio took a glass as well, placing it next to mine as I started pouring. “So, I’m just going to say this, not because I think you need to hear it, but because it’s going to make me feel better saying it.”
“Oh, God—”
“Just keep reminding yourself why you’re doing this. You’re doing this because we need answers, and right now she’s the only one who can give them to us.”
I rolled my eyes. “I know that.”
“Great. So, I don’t have to worry about you going all sadistic-psychopath on her bony ass?”
“Jesus, God Almighty. Would you fucking stop?” I slammed the bottle of bourbon down on the counter. “I know what’s at stake. I know the risks. And I fucking know where the goddamn line is drawn. Okay?”
Lucio lifted his shoulders. “Okay, man.”
I picked up my drink and walked over to the window. From this side of the house, you could see the part of the garden Karina had converted into a little mini-playpark. Layla and Rafe were there, playing by the swings. So much had changed within our family. Karina getting engaged to a now ex-cop. Dante having a son and soon-to-be wife. My father’s death. It felt like everyone was evolving, changing. But we seemed closer now than ever before. All of them, my entire family deserved safety and security. They deserved a leader who could give them that. Who would put his own life on the line in order to protect each and every one of them?
I had no choice. I had to do whatever it took for me to guarantee that no harm would come to any of them. And, by God, that was what I was going to do—even if it killed me.
I lifted the glass to my mouth, smelling the black pepper and oaky scent of the bourbon before I tasted it on my tongue. The alcohol stung as it moved down my throat, the burn settling in my stomach.
