by Logan Jacobs
“Why don’t you save all your little logic for someone who gives a shit?” Penny demanded. “You just tried to kill us, or did I hit you so hard that you lost your memory?”
The dwarven assassin finally looked up at us, and I guessed that even though he knew that he was surrounded and outnumbered, he still wanted to look for any weak spots that might still allow him to escape. Of course, even as he glanced from one of us to the next, I knew that he wouldn’t find any weaknesses.
“I just want to know who hired you, that’s all,” I said. “If you tell me that, I won’t kill you. And neither will my two friends here.”
“Seriously?” Penny huffed. “Ugh, that’s fine, I guess.”
“He was just doing his job,” I said with a shrug. “And now I’m just doing mine. So, who hired you?”
“Ya must not know much about assassins,” the dwarf chuckled, “or you’d know that we don’t reveal our employers, at least not if--”
Before the dwarf could move, I swung the blunt end of my hammer straight at his groin. The metal crashed into his balls, and as the assassin started to howl, Dar jumped forward and clapped a hand over his mouth to keep the dwarf quiet, so we wouldn’t draw any more attention to ourselves.
After all, it was still the middle of the day.
“How about we try that again?” I asked. “Who hired you?”
“I can’t tell ya,” the dwarven assassin groaned. “But he didn’t just hire me. He hired six of us.”
“No, shit,” I scoffed. “That would explain the five other assassins we just killed.”
The dwarf’s eyes went wide, and I realized that he must not have realized that the other assassins up on the roof had been killed as well. As soon as he showed his surprise, he cleared his throat and tried to recover.
“So, do you want to join your little friends?” Penny demanded. “Or do you want to tell us what we want to know?”
“You are mouthy, aren’t ya?” the dwarf snickered.
I slammed the blunt end of my hammer into his balls again, and when the dwarf doubled over and started to cry out, I nodded to Dar. Immediately, the halfling pushed down on the dwarf’s upper back, so his whole spine was exposed, and then Dar crashed the handle of his dagger down into the assassin’s spine.
I let Dar pound away at the dwarf’s spine for a few seconds, but after my halfling friend switched to the assassin’s kidneys for a few blows, I finally whistled to cut him off. Then Penny and Dar shoved the dwarf upright again, but he drooped lower against the wall of the alley, so I knew he must be in a lot of pain.
“Maybe that’ll help you have a little more respect for my friend here,” I said. “Now, I’ll ask you one more time-- who hired you?”
“He said you’d be defensive,” the dwarf grunted. “Of her, especially.”
I felt my heart start to pound in my ears, and I suddenly had a very clear idea of who had hired these assassins to kill us. Still, I didn’t want to just assume without clear proof, and that meant I needed a little more information from this dwarf.
“What else did he say?” I asked. “I may not even need the name of your employer, if you tell me that much.”
“Well, I suppose it wouldn’t break my oath to tell ya what he said,” the dwarven assassin said. “He told us to search the city for a red-haired pixie bitch, and whenever we found her, to kill her and anyone who was with her.”
“Oh, fuck,” Penny whispered and then glanced at me. “That means--”
“Hold that thought,” I interrupted. “So did he say anything else when he hired you? Or was that it?”
“Well, he did say that he wouldn’t mind if we brought her back alive,” the dwarf said, “and he said the same thing for the human man that he thought we might find with her. But if it was too difficult or ya were too hard to capture, he just wanted ya both dead.”
“Damn, didn’t I even get an honorable mention?” Dar asked. “Was that all he said? He didn’t mention how you needed to be extra careful around their handsome halfling friend? How I might have deadly daggers that you needed to be careful of?”
“No,” the dwarven assassin said. “He only mentioned these two.”
“Well, I think that answers all our questions,” I said. “Thanks for confirming that your employer was Tevian.”
“But I never told ya--” the dwarf started.
“You didn’t have to,” I cut him off. “And you just confirmed it for me now, so thanks very much.”
“So Tevian said I was mouthy, did he?” Penny demanded. “Fucking ass. What gives him the right to--”
“Hold that thought again,” I said. “You answered my question, so now I’ll hold up my end of the bargain. You’re safe from the three of us, so go. Now.”
“But he’ll just try to kill us again!” Dar said.
“A promise is a promise,” I said and then looked back at the dwarf. “Oh, but you can’t take your weapons with you.”
The dwarven assassin scrambled to his feet and stumbled down the alley toward the main road. As soon as he turned to the right and disappeared from view, I whistled for Ava, and the blonde assassin poked her head around the corner from the left.
“Kill him,” I told her. “And make it fast.”
The blonde gave me a little smile like I had just given her a present, and then she vanished after the other assassin. Once they were both out of view, I turned back to Dar and Penny.
“I only said that the three of us wouldn’t kill him,” I said with a shrug. “I never promised anything about Ava.”
Dar burst out into laughter, while Penny just grinned.
“Well, aren’t you clever?” the redhead demanded.
“And apparently, Tevian thinks you’re mouthy,” I chuckled. “That’s completely true, of course, but that just so happens to be one of the things that I love about you.”
“Thanks… I think,” Penny laughed.
Ava appeared at the end of the alley again, and this time, she had an arrow in her hand. She wiped a streak of blood off the arrowhead onto her pants, and then she slipped it back with the rest of her arrows before she strode down the alley to join us.
“That was fast,” Dar said.
“He wasn’t much of an opponent without his weapons,” Ava said. “It wasn’t difficult.”
“I think maybe you’re just that good,” Penny said.
“Oh,” the blonde assassin said as her cheeks turned pink. “Well, maybe. But we should go soon. People are starting to come down the road, so we should get away from here before anyone starts to ask questions.”
“We can talk on the way,” I said as I led the way forward.
We moved quickly down the main road, and when we passed the assassins’ corpses in the street, we tried to seem as shocked as everyone else. Once we were two streets away from the evidence of our fight, I figured that it was safe enough to talk about now, but I still kept my voice low as the four of us continued forward.
“So, I guess Tevian really did see us the other night,” I said. “Or at least, he saw Penny beside the warehouse.”
“Perhaps he just assumed that you were with her, Wade,” Ava said. “He might not have actually seen you here at any point.”
“That’s possible,” I said, “but I know there’s a chance that he did see me, either that night or on the night of his party.”
“Well, Tevian clearly must know that Penny is here in the Gold City, or at the very least, he thinks that she is,” Dar said, “and either way, he must have decided that he didn’t want to take any chances.”
“So he hired assassins to kill me?” Penny demanded. “That seems a little overkill, even for Tevian.”
“Well, the dwarf did say to take you and me alive, if it was possible,” I said. “He probably wanted to see us in person, just so he could see for himself that he wasn’t crazy.”
“Oh, I really hope that we’ve made him doubt his own eyes,” the pixie thief sighed. “It’s the least he deserves, after everything t
hat he’s done.”
“We know that he’s been asking around about me,” I said, “and now we know that he’s taken it one step further with the assassins. And that means things could get much messier from here on out.”
“I think I know where this is going,” Ava murmured.
“I think you do, too,” I said. “It’s too dangerous for you here, Ava. I know that everything went fine just now--”
“And thank you for that, Penny,” the blonde assassin said with a smile at my other woman. “You pushed me out of the way just in time.”
“Ah, don’t mention it,” the redhead muttered. “You would have done the same for me.”
“Yes, I would have,” Ava said with a shrug.
“I just want you and our baby to be safe,” I continued. “And there’s a lot of unknown factors in the Gold City right now, especially since Tevian just hired assassins to try to kill us.”
“I understand,” Ava said, “but I don’t want to sit on the sidelines while you build the revolution. I still want to be a part of it.”
I looked up and saw a group of elven nobles just across the street, so I waited until we passed them to answer Ava’s concern. The elves in the Gold City might not view temple wine as sacred, and they might not care as much about the rules as the elves in our own hometown, but at the end of the day, they were still fucking elves.
“And you will still be a part of it,” I said when we were out of earshot. “In fact, you’ll be one of the most important pieces.”
“I’m listening,” Ava said.
“I want to take you back home, where you should be safer,” I said. “And while you’re there, I want you to be responsible for training Dryson and the new human guard.”
“Oh!” Ava swallowed.
“I want the human guard unit from back home to become the most well-trained, elite soldiers in my whole army,” I said, “and there’s no one else that I trust to make that happen more than you.”
“They will be your guard of honor,” Ava swore. “They will be your personal guards, and by the time I’m finished with them, there will not be a better fighting force in the whole empire.”
“I know there won’t be,” I said, “and that’s exactly why I need you to take charge of them.”
“Well, I guess that’s a pretty good reason to go back home,” Ava said. “When do you want me to return?”
“Soon, but not just yet,” I said. “I definitely want you to be out of here before the boat race, just in case anything goes wrong, and since that’s not until two days from now, I should be able to take you back through the portal tomorrow.”
“And what do we need to do before then?” Dar asked. “Before the race, I mean?”
“You mean other than get the caterers at the race to buy our whiskey?” Penny laughed. “That’ll probably take most of our time, you know.”
“Well, since the rest of our plan means we have to wait just a little bit for Flavius to do his part,” I said, “I really just have one other thing that I want to do today.”
“But, um, if the boat race is only two days away,” Dar began, “then when are we going to try to sell the whiskey to the caterers? Aren’t we cutting it a little close?”
“We are,” I laughed, “but that’s just because I want them to be good and desperate. By the time Flavius tells them that he has access to whiskey, they should have just realized that they don’t have any temple wine.”
“Because the Thief’s Guild stole it, thanks to you,” Penny added.
“Exactly,” I said, “so when we go to sell our whiskey to them, they won’t have any choice but to say yes. Not unless they want a mob of angry race-goers on their hands.”
“You’ve really thought of everything, haven’t you?” Dar grinned. “I can’t wait until we take the coins right out of the elves’ pockets, and then use that money to help fund our revolution.”
“Speaking of our revolution,” I said, “that leads me back to the one other thing I want us to do today. I know we’ve got an order placed with the blacksmith back home for weapons and equipment, but I think we should go ahead and place another order here.”
“But there’s not a human guard in the Gold City,” Penny said. “So who would you tell the blacksmith that the order is for?”
“Oh, that’s easy,” I said. “I won’t go to a blacksmith. I’ll just go to a trader to buy the equipment from him, and I’ll say that they’re supplies for my personal guards.”
“You don’t think that will arouse any suspicion?” Ava asked.
“It might,” I said, “but it shouldn’t be enough to concern us. After all, the Gold City only knows me as Wade the Businessman, and it’s perfectly natural for powerful men to surround themselves with well-equipped personal guards.”
“Fair enough,” Penny said, and then she took a left and started down the road that led to our apartment.
“Not so fast,” I said. “We’re taking a slight detour first.”
“Oh, did you already find a trader to buy the armor and weapons from?” the redheaded pixie asked.
“You know I did,” I said with a grin. “And what’s even better is that he’s an elf.”
“Um, sorry, but why is that better?” Penny demanded.
“Because not only are the elves in this city going to buy our whiskey,” I said, “but if I buy some of the weapons and armor for our future army from this trader, then--”
“Then the elves will have given you some of the same fucking equipment that you’re going to use to overthrow them,” Penny interrupted.
“That’s the idea,” I said.
“Now that’s what we call poetic fucking justice,” Dar laughed.
Two streets later, we turned onto the road with the open-air storefront of the elf trader that I wanted to buy our gear from. I had passed his stand several times in the last few days, and every time I did, I studied what he had to sell until I was convinced that he actually had some quality merchandise.
Of course, we had been delayed by our fight with the assassins, so the afternoon was already halfway over, but the sun still shone above us, so there was still time to finish our business with this trader before he closed for the evening.
“Let’s resume our roles from Tevian’s party,” I said as we approached the elven trader. “Penny, you’re with me, and Dar and Ava are our bodyguards.”
“You got it, boss,” Dar said with a little salute.
While Dar and Ava took one step back so they were positioned like our personal bodyguards, I looped my arm through Penny’s, and we rang the bell for service at the elven trader’s booth.
The elven trader turned around from his position at the back of the booth, and even though his lip curled when he saw me, he moved toward us anyway and attempted to smile.
“And what brings you by today?” the elf asked. “I can’t imagine that a businessman such as yourself has much need for the kinds of weapons and equipment that I sell.”
“Not personally, no,” I lied, “but my guards do. As I’m sure you understand, the roads from one city to another can be quite dangerous, and I’d like all of my personal guards to be well-equipped before I leave town again.”
“Two guards hardly seems like enough,” the elf said with a glance at Dar and Ava, “especially if the road is as dangerous as you seem to think it is.”
“Oh, these are just the two guards I brought with me today,” I laughed. “Of course, I have more.”
“Of course,” the elf said and then narrowed his eyes. “So exactly what kind of--”
Incoming, the Rainbow Keys suddenly hissed.
“Ah,” the elven trader said as he looked over my shoulder at something behind us. “Now if you want to know what kind of gear will best help you in the wilds of our vast empire, here’s the perfect elf to help you out. He just defeated a whole horde of wild orcs outside our own city, you know.”
I felt my fists clench at my sides as I started to turn around.
“C
ome over and join us, my friend,” the elven trader called out. “Tevian, come over, would you?”
As soon as I finished turning around, I saw that Tevian was only a dozen paces away from us. The moment he saw my face, his whole expression shifted like someone had turned his face inside out.
Still, at first, he didn’t actually do anything. He just kept walking toward us until he reached the trader’s booth, and then he very purposefully stepped behind the booth so that half his body would be protected from any possible attack, and then he turned to face us.
“Do you two, uh, know each other or something?” the elven trader asked.
“You could say that,” Tevian growled.
Then without any warning, Tevian grinned, raised his hands, and hurled a ball of blue fire straight at Penny and me.
Chapter 15
I reacted purely out of instinct.
I took half a step in front of Penny, and then I raised my own hands and just willed myself to catch the ball of blue energy. As soon as it hit me, I grasped it in my fingers like it was just a normal ball instead of a pulsing sphere of magic.
It tingled against my hands and sent a shiver up my arms, but I held it as easily as I had held the ball of energy in the elven temple back home all those weeks ago. And I intended to use this magic exactly the same way that I had used it in the temple.
As Tevian just stared with his jaw open at the sphere of blue fire now in my hands, I smiled and then flung the magic sphere right back at him.
The night elf ducked down behind the vendor’s stall just before his own fire collided into him, but the elven trader near him didn’t react as quickly. Instead, the large ball of blue fire crashed right into his stomach, and I saw the flames eat away at his clothes, burn through his flesh, and then start to work on his organs before he plunged to the ground.
“I think that was pretty good, considering how long it’s been since the last time I did that,” I said with a grin.
“Oh, Wade,” Penny murmured. “What are we gonna do now?”
“Let’s give our favorite elven general a second to recover, shall we?” I asked.
