“Fine. You buy the tickets,” Kate said. “I’ll buy the popcorn. A big bucket. I’m hungry.”
“Sounds good.”
Kate had dressed in full cowgirl, and he couldn’t help but appreciate the white Western shirt and red boots. A shiny gold buckle from her barrel racing days decorated her snug Levi’s. Yeah, the cowgirl looked fine, and she seemed completely oblivious to the second glances from those around her.
Instead, she eyed the crowd, her gaze intent as they continued to walk.
“What are you looking for?” Jess asked. “Do you know someone here?”
“Entirely possible,” she murmured.
At her words, the penny fell through the slot. “You’re looking for your dad, aren’t you?”
“I guess so.” Kate met his gaze before she looked away with a shrug. “After ten years, it’s become a habit.”
“You’ve never seen him?”
“No, TJ Rainbolt is like vapor. I’ve searched online, and I’ve talked to my share of old-timers. Occasionally, someone will think they remember the name. It usually turns out that they’re remembering Reece from when he used to bull ride.”
“Reece ever run into him?”
“I never specifically asked. I guess I assumed he would have said something.”
For the first time, Kate’s journey, her search for her wayward father, really hit him and became real. He scanned the crowd filling the arena too, his heart growing heavy as he imagined her pain. He’d lost his father quickly due to a heart attack. He couldn’t imagine living his life without knowing what happened to a loved one.
“I’m sorry, Kate.”
She gave an adamant shake of her head. “No. I won’t have you feeling sorry for me. You never did when we were younger, so don’t start now. I can’t look at you and see pity in your eyes, Jess. Nothing good can come of that.”
The set of her jaw and the frown on her face said Kate was annoyed. He’d hit a hot button for sure. Though she sped up, her long legs were no match for him. He put a hand on her arm.
“Kate, empathy is not pity.”
“Is that what your father had? Empathy?”
“My father?”
“Your father used to pity me, until you and I became friends. That’s when his pity turned to hate. Why do you suppose he hated me so much?”
Jess’s head jerked back at the words. “My father didn’t hate you. He thought being poor was contagious.” Saying the words out loud for the first time was uncomfortable. Admitting to the obvious flaw in Jacob McNally made Jess feel complicit for not calling him out years ago.
“Are you serious?” Kate said and kept walking. Her pace picked up again, as though she were running from something.
“Sadly, yes. My grandfather was a dirt-poor farmer. Dad scraped his way through college and then on to medical school.”
Kate released a frustrated breath. “Shouldn’t that have made him compassionate?”
“It made him afraid. Afraid that he was one bank deposit away from his past.”
“That’s terrible, but it sure explains a lot.”
As he stared at her, an ominous tightness filled his chest. “What do you mean?” he murmured.
“Your father warned me away from you.”
Jess froze, eyes fixed on Kate while people streamed around them. “My father did what?”
“We’re blocking traffic.” She took his arm and pulled him to a secluded spot near a fire exit. “Your father told me I wasn’t good enough for you, and that I should back off.”
He could only continue to stare, unable to complete a sentence as he worked to process her words. It was one thing for him and his dad to disagree, but he was stunned and disappointed that his father had reached out to Kate.
Kate kicked at a stone on the ground with the tip of her boot. “I can’t believe we’re talking about this now. Here.”
“Is that why you left?” He asked the question that had haunted him for ten years.
“I was always going to leave. I told you that. You didn’t listen. Your father’s disapproval... Maybe it helped me to justify walking away.”
“He was wrong, Kate.” The words burst from his lips as their impact barreled straight into his gut. Could he have prevented Kate from leaving? Did it matter anymore?
She stared at him, eyes round.
“You know that, right?” he persisted.
“I’m not sure what I know, Jess.”
“Kate Rainbolt,” a deep voice called. “Where have you been, young lady?”
Kate and Jess turned to find a silver-haired gentleman with a black cane strolling toward them. He wore a black hat, a Western suitcoat with fancy stitching on the yoke and crisply creased Levi’s.
“Petey!” Kate gasped with surprise and moved to offer the old cowboy a hug.
She turned to Jess. “Pete Miller, this is my friend Jess McNally.”
“Pleased to meet you, son.”
“You as well, sir.”
“Pete was my instructor at clown school.”
“And she’s one of the best.” Pete narrowed his eyes. “I heard what happened. Spoke to Beau. How’re you holding up?”
“I’m much better.”
Pete’s gaze held a warm affection as he nodded, slowly assessing. “Word spreads fast, Kate. Everyone on the circuit is proud of you.”
“Thanks, Pete. That means a lot.”
“Are you coming back?”
“I don’t know.” Kate’s eyes flicked to Jess, and an unspoken communication passed between them. She knew she was bending the truth. There was no way Kate Rainbolt should be in that arena in this lifetime.
Pete pulled a card from his pocket. “Keep me posted. If you don’t want to bullfight, I might be able to find a place for you at the school.”
Jess observed the exchange with concern. He wanted the best for Kate, everyone did, but it was difficult to see her face light up because of an offer that might end up luring her away from home again.
“Your friend Pete looks like a river-boat captain, not a rodeo clown,” Jess observed as the gentleman strolled away.
A musing smile touched Kate’s mouth. “You’re right. He’s an actor once the greasepaint goes on. One of the best.” She glanced toward the arena. “We better catch some seats.”
Once they’d settled, Kate turned to him. “Being here for the first time since the accident is a little surreal. That’s the only defense I have for slamming you with stuff you didn’t need to hear.”
“I did need to hear it.” She’d answered questions that had kept him awake many a night until he’d made the decision to put Kate Rainbolt behind him. As for his father... Well, it seemed that he was overdue for a conversation with his mother about that.
“Excuse us.”
Jess stood to allow two young girls to move to the empty seats farther down the row. As they passed, the scent of buttered popcorn teased, and Kate turned to him with an alarmed look on her face.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I didn’t get the popcorn.”
Jess grinned. “We’ll get some later.”
Overhead, the microphone popped and screeched before the announcer began the opening-ceremony chatter. The crowd roared as a team of four flagbearers with red-white-and-blue-fringed chaps, holding American flags, thundered into the arena, their white horses kicking up dust. They raced across the arena in a figure-eight pattern before stopping in the middle, each one facing a section of the grandstands as the national anthem began.
Jess and Kate stood with their hands over their hearts while the stirring lyrics of the patriotic song rang out. Applause followed, along with hoots, whistles and hollers.
“That song always gets me,” Kate said. “There’s something so American about rodeo.”
“Maybe you should
suggest a small rodeo on Rebel Ranch. You’d be the perfect person to launch that kind of project.”
Kate’s eyes lit up. “Do you think Reece would be open to the idea?”
“Why not? He’s a rodeo guy.”
Their conversation ended as the barrel racing began. A fan-favorite event, the crowd stomped their feet and clapped their hands along with the introductory music.
Event after event, Kate and Jess cheered and yelled along with the crowd. When the bull riding competition was announced, Kate tensed.
The announcer’s voice pitched higher with excitement, and the crowd responded with cheers. “Now for the event you’ve all been waiting for. Bull riding.”
Both Jess’s and Kate’s attention went to the chute. A cowboy stood with his boots on either side of the chute gate as he prepared to ease down onto the animal.
“Say a prayer for Jerome Callum, ladies and gents. This cowboy has drawn Despiadado.”
Silence fell over the arena, followed by hushed murmurs. All eyes were on the cowboy.
Kate looked at the aisle and then put a hand on his sleeve. “I saw a gift shop when we drove through town. Let’s go find Olive a glass horse.”
“What?” He did a double take at the sudden request. “You don’t want to stay for this?”
“No.” She stood, ready to move past him. “Jess, I have to get out of here.”
He looked up at the leaderboard and then back at Kate. Her face had paled, and beads of perspiration clung to her forehead. It took half a second to figure out what had spooked her.
Despiadado.
The same bull that had nearly killed her and a bull rider. Kate was having some sort of a post-traumatic-stress response right now.
He grabbed her arm before she stumbled and guided her to the aisle and away from their seats. Around them, the noise of the event became a roaring blur. “Easy there. Watch your footing.” He took her hand. “Follow me.”
Once they were outside the arena, Kate bent over, her free hand on her knee as she worked to collect herself.
A moment later, she stood and looked around. “Where are we?”
“I think I went out the wrong exit.” He cocked his head to the left and led them past the stock pens to a food truck, where he bought her a lemon-lime soda.
“Thank you,” Kate murmured. She pressed the cold can to her forehead. Though the color had returned to her face, her breathing remained shaky.
“Parking lot is real close. Let’s get some air-conditioning going. Okay?”
“Yes, please.”
For a few minutes, he let her sit quietly in the passenger seat, head back against the headrest, with her eyes closed as the cool air blew the dark strands away from her face. Finally, her lashes fluttered, and she looked at him. The bleak expression on her face nearly tore him apart.
“Don’t I feel ridiculous?” she said softly.
“That bull almost killed you. I’d have the same reaction.”
Kate gave a small nod of appreciation at his words. “It was like a movie,” she said. “A loop, playing over and over in my head. I guess, up to now, I’ve been able to pretend that if I didn’t think about it, it wasn’t real.” She took a shaky breath. “Suddenly, everything all came rushing back. The slow-motion tumble through the cool February air. Spitting out dirt as I bounced on the ground. I could hear the crack of my own ribs.” She licked her lips, gaze straight ahead out the window. “Then a sharp burning pain.”
“Oh, Kate.” He grimaced at the emotion in her words.
“It’s okay. I’ll be fine.” She rolled her hand into a fist and placed it against her mouth.
“Yeah, maybe if you tell yourself that enough times.” He released a breath. “Kate, it’s okay to show pain, and it’s okay to allow others to share that pain.”
When she turned to him, he realized that he’d leaned closer, nearly closing the distance between them in the cab. Kate moved toward him, near enough that he could feel the warmth of her breath against his chin.
Her lips parted, and for once, he didn’t think, didn’t breathe. Instead, he kissed her, gently slipping his hands through her silky, soft hair. He kept kissing until he was free-falling.
It was better than he remembered. The sweetness, the pull of his emotions as his heart slammed into his chest.
A fraction of a second later, he came to his senses and broke the contact. He moved away, placing his hands on the steering wheel as if to ground him. Or perhaps to keep himself from touching her, holding her and kissing her again.
“I, um...” He turned to Kate, fully expecting recriminations.
Kate reached up and covered his lips with her fingers, her blue eyes clear as they gazed into his. “Say nothing. Please, don’t apologize. Don’t. Just don’t.” She touched his hand on the steering wheel, and the contact was nearly his undoing.
A solemn silence stretched between them, and she returned her own hand to her lap and sat quietly.
Then she cleared her throat. “You know, I never did get that popcorn. I’m starving. Let’s go find a Sonic and get some chili-cheese fries and a couple of cherry limeades.”
“Food. Yeah, good idea.” He put on his seat belt and started the truck.
Food might help him forget the touch of her lips, but would it help him forget that he was making a huge mistake by once again risking his heart with no guarantees?
Jess doubted it.
* * *
Kate grinned and said a silent prayer of thanksgiving as she left Rebel Clinic. She was a match for Susan. Not an exact match, but she had enough of the required antigens to move forward. Furthermore, her ultrasound showed very healthy kidneys with no irregularities. The next step would include a mental health exam and counseling. She had an appointment to visit with a donor in Tulsa for what the doctor called a reality check.
She would do whatever the physicians recommended, but as far as Kate was concerned, the Lord was her reality check. She’d spent nearly every evening since she’d visited Jess’s mother in the hospital praying about this decision. The path was clear medically, and she was confident that she’d assessed the situation with her head and her heart. If only she had the same peace about the direction of her life.
Striding to her truck, Kate gave a firm nod. Today was the day to talk to Susan McNally.
It took circling the block twice before a parking spot opened up in downtown Rebel. Kate had to settle for one around the corner behind the Piggy Wiggly. She walked the block to Daisy’s bakery and stared up at the lettering on the canvas awning. Daisy’s Pies & Baked Goods was spelled out in gold lettering against a navy-blue background. Her sister-in-law Daisy provided the kind of success story she longed to emulate. Although today, Kate didn’t appreciate the success as much. The line to the shop was out the door. Kate slowly inched forward for ten minutes until she was finally inside. Good thing she was in a spectacular mood.
The plan had been to arrive when the bakery first opened, but getting out of bed had been an effort this morning after another restless night.
Who would be able to sleep well after a kiss like that from Jess on Saturday? She’d blathered on without a filter, and he’d responded by kissing her.
The rest of the holiday weekend, she’d been thinking about that kiss and doing something she’d avoided up until now. Thinking about the past. The what-ifs of her life.
She’d barely dated since leaving Rebel. She needed someone in her life that she couldn’t run over. A man she could go toe-to-toe with, who respected and cherished her just the way she was. Was that man Jess?
Along with that question came the same fear. The fear that Jacob McNally was right. She wasn’t good enough for his son. What would happen when Jess came to the same conclusion as his father?
Another customer left with a bag of pastries, and Kate stepped forward an inch. The bakery’s glas
s cases were now in view, and she peeked around the bouffant hair of the woman in front of her to admire a row of pies with golden crusts.
“Kate!”
Kate’s head jerked up, and she saw Daisy waving her to the front of the line. Kate obeyed, despite the glare of the woman in front of her.
“I called your name, like, three times. In your happy place?” Daisy linked her arm through Kate’s.
“More like my overanalyze-my-life place.”
“I’ve been there,” Daisy said. “I do not recommend the extended-stay package.”
Kate laughed, her mood immediately light again. Today was a day to rejoice. She would not allow herself to dwell on yesterday any further.
Daisy led her to a small room outside her office, where a table and chairs were set up along with a play yard and a bin full of toys. “Sit. Tell me what you need, and I’ll grab it for you.”
“This is a nice setup you have back here.”
Her sister-in-law pushed back her red-gold curls that had slipped from the baker’s headscarf. “I bring the kids into work often, so I had to have a play area.”
“What’s going on out there?” Kate asked, thumbing in the direction of the front of the bakery. “Where did all those people come from?”
“That’s the summer blessing. Aren’t you ever here in the summer?”
“No. The circuit is pretty busy this time of year. Every small town west of the Mississippi, from here and into Canada, has a small-town summer tradition that usually includes an old-fashioned rodeo. That’s rodeo-money time. Since the ranch opened five years ago, I try to be here for the hoedown weekend, but then I’m on the road again.”
“You’ve missed the fun, then. Rebel Ranch has led the way for the economic explosion in Rebel. Reece’s success was a wake-up call for the town. The local businesses banded together and successfully created a plan to lure the tourist trade. It started with a face-lift.”
“I did notice how pretty downtown is,” Kate said.
“All part of the plan. Out-of-towners drive down Main Street on their way to Rebel Lake and Keystone Lake, so shop owners decided to do their best to tempt them to stop. The strategy worked.”
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