“Yes, you can. My brother Anthony was forced to have sex with me when we were younger. That didn’t make me a bad cop. I did my job to the best of my ability. I never had an infraction.” I took a deep breath before admitting my secrets. “He was my first and somehow, somewhere down the line, things got out of hand. I found myself craving his attention and touch, so I welcomed the wrestling. When we talked about how things might have been spiraling out if control and that I thought I was turning gay, he suggested proving our manhood with the girls in the house. We’d go in their rooms while they were asleep and wake them up to our manhood. They’d cry, but I knew they enjoyed it sometimes, because I cried when Anthony would be with me, but I also wanted it. We are not gay at all. We even made babies. Three of them. Nakita was always mad. She is an angry person. I guess she lost it and hit Anthony with the bat over and over again. I could feel his heart when it stopped beating. What am I going to do now? I have no one. Nancy’s ill, so I am left here all alone.” I broke down.
“He’s a sick bastard. He doesn’t deserve to wear a badge,” Detective Ross insulted me as two uniformed officers walked in.
“Paul Palmer-McGivney, you know the drill. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand your rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?”
“Yes and no,” I confessed as he cuffed me to the bed.
Chapter Twenty-six
Family: My Support System
Nakita
Riding in a policer cruiser wasn’t anything like what I had seen on television. My experience was more humiliating and petrifying. The only thing that I had been able to do was cry. I couldn’t understand how I was the one restrained by metal bands around my wrists. Paul and Anthony were the ones who committed crimes countless times. Instead of them sitting in a squad car, I ended up being the one struggling to sit back due to my arms being behind my back. On the short ride over, my entire horrific life debuted in my mind. Images of Shakita being taken from me, Ms. Jeannette taking her last breaths, along with Mr. Frankie, Paul, and Anthony violating my body.
As I sat in the four-wall room with a metal table and chairs attached to the floor and wall, I began to feel like a caged animal.
This place is really creeping me out. I fidgeted in the ice-cold folding chair, trying to ignore the two officers questioning me. I wasn’t sure if I should have felt comfortable talking to them. I had a mixture of all kinds of emotions rolling around. I told myself that I had to be careful of what I did say. These officers might do whatever they could to try to protect Paul. After all, I was sitting in the same precinct that he reported to.
“Look,” I finally said, after not saying a word for hours. “I’m not going to give you all the details because I don’t know them. So I will wait until I get a lawyer. I know my rights. Right now, I don’t know who I can trust. Paul was one of you. What I will do is give you something to work with. We were raped repeatedly in Hope House by those nasty, incest-having monsters. That’s right, one of your own raped us repeatedly and came here every day as if he were a saint. I ask that you please do whatever you have to do to make sure the girls and our children are safe.”
“Don’t say another word, Ms. Mathews. I am Bradford Bartlett and have been retained as your attorney,” he announced as he opened the door and took in the scene before him. Taking his seat, he asked, “Do you mind if I have a word with my client?” Pausing and looking from one detective to the other, he continued, “Alone!”
The moment they excused themselves, Mr. Bartlett turned to me, and fresh tears instantly fell from my eyes.
“Ms. Mathews, you have some serious charges here. You are being charged with two counts of murder and one count of attempted murder.”
“Two counts of murder? What are you talking about?”
“Ms. Nancy and—”
“Ms. Nancy? What are you talking about? I didn’t touch Ms. Nancy. I don’t rem . . . What have I . . .” I sniffled, shaking my head back and forth in disbelief.
“You don’t recall anything that transpired?”
“Everything is such a blur. I can’t remember.”
“I need you to tell me what happened during the events prior to you returning to Hope House.”
“Honestly, I don’t remember how I got back to Hope House. When the alarm clock went off, Candice walked into the room shortly thereafter. I then saw all the blood, Anthony, and Paul, and I realized then that I hurt them.”
“What about when you were at the hospital? What do remember happening there?”
“I remember Ms. Nancy apologizing for letting her brothers rape us. Then suddenly I was in the bedroom I shared with Candice with blood all over me, and I was crying.”
“I need you to be completely straightforward and honest with me, Nakita.”
“I am telling you the God’s honest truth. I have been playing everything in my mind repeatedly. I feel so crazy right now. Why can’t I remember?”
“You’re not crazy at all. Get some rest tonight, the best way that you can. I will do everything in my power at your arraignment tomorrow to get you out of here.”
“Thank you so much, Mr. Bartlett,” I sobbed.
I didn’t sleep a wink. I lay in that cold cell all night, trying to rewind my mind and retrace my steps from the moment after those words left Ms. Nancy’s lips. It was like time stood still and someone hit the fast-forward button on my life, pushing play the moment I heard Candice’s voice. God knows I wouldn’t intentionally hurt anyone and leave my baby alone. I thought I was having blackouts or my mind had officially left the building. However, the hurt side of me was proud of the outcome.
* * *
“All rise. The Court of the Seventh Judicial Circuit, Criminal Division, is now in session, the Honorable Judge Clayton Brand presiding. Please be seated,” the court clerk presented. Handing Judge Brand a folder, he announced, “This is case CR-11-178, the State of Connecticut versus Nakita Mathews for arraignment.” The court clerk pulled me away from my thoughts.
“Thank you. Counsel, please state your name for the record.”
“Good afternoon, Your Honor. Wallace Fedlmier and Ms. Juanita Anderson for the State of Connecticut.”
“Good afternoon.”
“Good afternoon, Your Honor. Mr. Bradford Bartlett with Ms. Nakita Mathews, who is present.”
“All right. Good afternoon,” he greeted us, looking over at my attorney and the defense attorney then back to the paperwork before him. “How does the defendant plead?”
“Not guilty,” I replied.
“Your Honor, the people are requesting bail be set at one hundred thousand dollars, as one of the victims is a highly decorated police officer.”
“Highly decorated? You’ve got to be kidding me,” Candice snapped.
“Order in the court.” Judge Brand banged his gavel as one of the officers escorted Candice out of the courtroom.
As the courtroom settled, he continued, “The defendant will be released on bail in the amount of one hundred thousand dollars. The trial has been scheduled to commence on March fifteenth. Counselors, please ensure that you are ready. Court is now adjourned,” Judge Brand dismissed as he banged the gavel.
“Wha . . . what? How? I don’t have that kind of money.” I gasped, barely containing a squeal.
“You have a great support system, Nakita. Ms. Young agreed to put her house up for you.”
“Who is Ms. Young and how did she get me out on bail? I am extremely confused.”
“Ms. Jasmine Young.”
“Crazy, but all of this time I didn’t even know Ms. Jasmine’s last name.” I teared up.
“She and the girls are in your corner one hundred percent. They’re going to take you back to be processed. Your family will be waiting for you when you come out. Try to get some rest. I will b
e in touch with you first thing tomorrow morning.”
* * *
About two hours after the bond was posted, I was released. After signing release forms, I was escorted to an outer door where Ms. Jasmine and Candice awaited my discharge. It would be difficult for me to look them in the eyes.
“Nakita, baby, are you all right?” Ms. Jasmine embraced me.
Slowly pulling myself from her grip, I nodded in response.
“What’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you saying anything? Did they do something to you in there?” Candice panicked. Her voice cracked with each word. I knew she was crying. I couldn’t look up at her. It was all too much for me to process.
“Nakita! We are not leaving until you talk to us.”
“Ma’am, would you please lower your tone?” an officer asked.
As I turned from looking in the officer’s direction, my eyes instantly locked with Candice’s, causing tears to well up in my eyes.
“It’s okay to cry, baby. We are here for you. None of this is your fault,” Ms. Jasmine consoled.
“How do you know that? They said I killed Ms. Nancy and Anthony and tried to kill Paul.”
“How about we talk about this in the car?” Candice suggested.
The closer we got to the car, a sigh of relief escaped my mouth, being that no one was in the car. I needed a moment to gather myself.
“Nakita, do you remember what happened?”
“Ms. Jasmine, Nakita blacked out. I’ve watched enough Law & Order to know that’s temporary insanity. There’s no way they can send her away for that. Plus, the fact that all of this happened as the result of a sex crime works in her favor,” Candice interrupted.
Shaking my head as tears flew from my eyes, I chuckled. “That little laugh felt good. You watch too much television, Candice. This is real life, not Law & Order.”
“Law & Order is based on real-life situations. We’ve watched show after show and said our stories would be a little different, but we could relate. Nakita, right now you can relate. I am serious. This is not your fault. You can’t even remember what happened, for God’s sake.”
“That’s what’s driving me insane.”
“Mr. Bartlett said you will be seeing a court-appointed psychiatrist, and they will see that something’s wrong and help you. He is a great lawyer, one of the best. There’s no way you will be sitting behind bars. I won’t allow it.”
“It’s not up to you, Ms. Jasmine. I do want to thank you for posting my bail and getting me a lawyer. I appreciate it so much. I wish I could repay you. I really do.”
“You can by forgiving yourself, talking to the psychiatrist, and allowing yourself to heal no matter what happens. You owe it to yourself, Adrianna, and now me.”
“And to me too,” Candice butted in, wrapping her arms around my neck. “I love you, Nakita. We will get through this together. I promise.”
“I love you more, Candice.”
Chapter Twenty-seven
Dear God: Why Me?
Candice
“Candice, I think you should reconsider going with me to see Dad. You don’t have to see Mother if you don’t want to.”
“Jenna, right now I have too much going on to be thinking about that. Nakita needs me and all the support she can get right now.”
“She can come with us if you want her to.”
“No, the only thing she wants to do right now is spend time with Adrianna and the kids. She said we will be able to visit her when she goes away. You heard Nakita say she didn’t want the kids to come up there and see her like that.”
“I just met her and I don’t even want to see her in that place. I hope things turn around. That is no place for a human being.”
“I don’t even want to think or talk about it.”
“This is Tom Schillenger live with Fox 61 News at 5 reporting breaking news. Hidden horrors are unfolding at Connecticut’s Hope House. What was supposed to be a safe haven for teen moms . . .”
“Did you hear that, Candice?”
“Oh, no! Turn it up.”
“We want to get you straight to the action. Here is Kelly Nielson-Lange at the scene.”
“Thank you, Tom. We’re here live at the scene in front of Hope House. Long-time Connecticut resident and decorated police officer Paul Palmer-McGivney has been hospitalized and has been placed in police custody for allegedly forcing sex on all of the teen moms who resided here at Hope House . . .”
“Please turn it off,” I panicked, covering my ears.
“It’s off. Calm down.”
“I think I need some fresh air.”
“I think that’s a good idea. We can ask Ms. Jasmine to keep the kids for a few so you can clear your head.”
* * *
I had been riding around in the car with Jenna for a while. We decided to stop by her place so she could pick up a few things. We had to go out of our way to get to Jenna’s because news reporters were staked out in front of Ms. Jasmine’s old home, which was literally around the corner. I just prayed they did not camp outside of her new house. None of us would have been able to deal with all of that.
“Earth to Candice. Are you all right over there?”
“I guess. Everything is just so crazy right now.”
“It is. I am so glad I am able to be here with you and my niece and nephews.”
Placing my hand on hers as it rested on her thigh, I agreed, “I am glad you are here as well. You remind me so much of Nakita in so many ways that it is really bugging me out.”
“She was the big sister you never had. I saw that the way she reacted when I approached you.”
“Yeah, we are all extremely overprotective of one another.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Were you really raped and had kids by those white guys?”
Taking in the air around me, I exhaled and answered as fresh tears swarmed my eyes. “Yes, from the first day that I arrived up until the day I was impregnated with the twins. I couldn’t throw my babies away. They’re a gift from God and one of them is their father.”
“I am so sorry, Candice. I cannot believe one of them was a police officer. I swear I would kill them if I could get my hands on them. If I had known Ms. Nancy was a part of it, she would have died long before Nakita got to her.”
“You’re a nurse. I know you’re upset, but you wouldn’t jeopardize everything for revenge.”
“So you’re going to sit here and tell me that if you were in my shoes and found out what that lady did, you would not have done something to her?”
“I don’t know what I would have done.”
“Exactly. Just like Nakita didn’t know what she did. She blacked out like anyone would have done if the shoe were on the other foot.”
“Ms. Jasmine said Nakita’s attorney advised that we will be questioned because the bat hasn’t been found. I think I had a moment right with her because I remember seeing it in her hand when I walked into the room. When we were on the floor crying, I either didn’t see it, just didn’t look for it, or didn’t think about it.”
“Everything happened so fast, and honestly, the last thing any of us were looking for was a bat. So they can bring the questions on all they want. We have nothing to hide.”
“That is so true. Now where do you live? I have to pee so bad.”
“We are pulling up now. That’s my complex straight ahead,” she noted, pulling into a parking spot.
“Oh, my God, I am about to use the bathroom on myself.”
“Please don’t,” Jenna said jokingly. “Well, walk faster please.”
“We are here.” She paused, pointing to the door a few steps away from us. “214 is my apartment number.”
“Thank God.”
“The bathroom is to the left,” she directed as she opened the door.
“Your place is gorgeous,” I admired, running toward the bathroom.
One could tell upon entering Jenna’s place that she had OCD. H
er place had been furnished in all white and glass. Upon my entrance, I found that Jenna’s place felt serene and peaceful. A standard entry door separated the living room from the kitchen. The door framings had been dressed up with mirrors and molding. Let’s not forget the mirrored sliding door in the bathroom. I didn’t know whether to use the restroom or just view it. It was something I’d only seen on shows on HGTV.
The living room probably was my favorite place in her apartment. The two-piece white leather sectional, with adjustable headrest and glass legs, was glamour I hadn’t been used to. The flat-screen TV adorning the fireplace caught my attention upon entrance. The entire setup was a sure indication of a kid-free zone and signified that she had zero kids.
“Do you feel better?” she asked as I made my way back into the living and dining room area.
“This place is really beautiful, Jenna,” I admired, taking it all in for a second time.
“Thank you. All I do is work, so I don’t even have time to enjoy it. This is the longest I’ve had off work in a long time. I hope the investigation or whatever they’re doing takes forever. I need a break.”
“Why don’t you take off?”
“Good question. I have no idea. You’d think I didn’t have PTO. I have tons of it because I don’t use it.”
“You love your job. That’s why.”
“I really do.”
The doorbell chimed.
“Hey,” she greeted someone, opening the door.
As Jenna’s guest walked through the door, my mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, with no sound coming out. I was still as a statue. My brain was desperately scrambling to make sense of it all, but I couldn’t.
“Candice, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Are you all right?” Jenna questioned, moving closer to me. Turning to face her visitor, she suggested, “Maybe you should come by another time, Alonzo. My sister is dealing with a lot right now.”
“Ca . . . Candice?” Alonzo stuttered.
My voice seemed to be caught in my throat as I struggled to form words. Tears rolled over my cheeks. I covered my face in shame and sobbed into my hands, “Why me? Why is this happening now?” I choked.
The Case Manager Page 14
