A flash of white light.
“No!” Siora yells, and something hits the side of my face.
I stumble back, darkness twisting around me, see Quinn, thunder in her fake eyes.
The ground shakes, and—
I see the power in Quinn. Seer power.
“You want to fight?” she yells. “Let’s fight.” Her grin is manic.
Siora screams, and I turn, look at her, almost don’t see Quinn’s white light in time, only just manage to stumble to the left. The light hits the stone behind me. I hear it crack, see it in my mind’s eyes, the break weaving upward.
I shoot Quinn with my powers. She’s a second late with hers, and I duck and—
Power blasts to me from the right—from Siora.
Both of them. Seers.
My jaw tightens.
I can do this. What are two Enhanced Seers against me?
I’m the savior.
Power and light fly. Hit me. Hit them. Raging pain inside, heart pounding. My lungs burn.
I scream and—
And their power—when it hits me, jointly hits me….
No.
It’s the same. Mine and theirs….
No, it was just Raleigh who got my powers… Not all Enhanced… Not….
But….
Light radiates around us as we all summon again. No, I don’t understand. I’m the most powerful.
But….
Three Seers.
Three Sarrs, the voice corrects.
I lift my hands, calling on every bit of power I have access to. And it’s a lot, trailing down the long line of Seers. I feel them all in me, feel them stirring, banding together, uniting, giving me the power I need.
Because I’m going to kill them. I’m going to—
“Stop!” Siora screams, and then she’s grabbing something from her neck. The necklace I saw before. The black beads—and in the center, a small pendant. A dark stone with little silver specks, smaller crystals inside. “Look!”
“No!” I scream, and I don’t know why she’s showing me that, but I know what I need to do. I—
Gold light erupts from her fingers.
A pure, gold light I’ve never seen before. Gold light that twists into me, grabs every breath and yanks them out until I’m falling, falling among time so quickly I almost miss the words Siora sends to my mind.
You’re our mother.
It is cold. An icy wind blows into the cave, but I fight it, pull the fur around me tighter as I stand in the entrance. There are six feet in front of me, before the ledge breaks off and falls into nothingness. The Below is there: dark, bleak, bitter. Sometimes when Quinn and I lie on our stomachs and peer over the edge, we see tiny flashes of light from the Below.
My mother never says much about that place. She prefers to look at the portal, see the people in there. But they’re not what fascinates me.
“Siora. Come away from there.”
I turn and look at my mother. Years ago, when I was five or six, she looked beautiful. Now, she looks old, worn out. Lines fill her face, driven deeper every day. I know it’s the pain that causes it. She takes it all so Quinn and I can’t feel it, but I think maybe Quinn does—though she never complains—because she’s moodier, more volatile. And I think my mother knows Quinn’s in pain, because when she looks at her, she always cries in the way she thinks we don’t notice. Guilt? Despair?
As I walk back into the cave, I wonder how soon it will be before I feel it too. The pain. I can sense it. The air is thick with it.
For years, our mother’s been trying to send us to a real, mortal world. She’s told us her plans, but she doesn’t speak much. It’s too painful, she says.
Now, she crouches in front of me, pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear with her good hand. A simple gesture, but it makes my chest tighten. She glances behind her to where Quinn is sitting, her back to us. My sister’s spine sticks out through her clothing, and every now and again she huffs loudly. There’s never enough food here—he made sure of that. Occasionally, we see deer behind the cave. Even more occasionally, do we catch one. They’re not normal deer, my mother says.
“This has to work, else everything will change.” My mother’s voice is soft, and I look back to her. She’s shaking. Her dark pendant taps against her chest with every breath she takes. “I cannot hold off the pain. You either go back or you die. And you mustn’t be ripped apart because of me.” Her eyes darken for a moment, then she calls Quinn over.
My sister moves like the spirits we’ve heard about, and she scowls as our mother takes hold of her hand. I reach forward with my own, touch her arm—and the three of us, we’re connected.
“If we do nothing, there will come a time when I cannot resist the commands given to me,” our mother says. “I know this is scary.” She gestures between us. “But it has to happen. You have to be there, else we rip a hole in time. We can do this, and you must do exactly as I say. You’re clever, and I know you can do it.”
I take in a breath too quickly.
“What if it doesn’t happen like you say it will?” Quinn asks. “What if you—when you’re younger—say something else? And we don’t know what to say back?”
“It’s already happened,” our mother says. “It can’t change.”
“But the ripples,” I say. “There could be more. They could change things. You told us the world was unstable then—what if there are more ripples this time?”
She shakes her head softly. “There won’t be. Just trust me. I’ve told you everything you need to know. And trust yourselves.”
I stare at Siora. Then Quinn—Quinn who has my mother’s eyes.
I stumble back, my powers dying on my hands.
Them?
What?
My daughters?
I’m not going to be alone in Death’s realm…they’ll be with me….
I’m pregnant when I die?
I sent them back. Time travel… it’s me. I did that? What? How is that even possible? Backward time travel? I sent them here…no, my future self will send them here? My head is a whirlwind, and it’s getting faster, faster. Nausea takes over, and I stumble again, feel like I’m going to fall.
No. I can’t fall. Not when they’re here.
Enhanced….
But they’re not….
Are they?
I raise my eyebrows, my vision blurry, try to see them. See them properly. And I do. Their powers, their souls.
Mine.
This is…this is too much. This isn’t real. This can’t be real.
“What have you done?” Quinn yells, but she’s yelling at Siora, not me. And those words—the words I heard myself say in Siora’s vision… I told them what to say, what to do? Because I’m older then, and I remembered what happened? Remembered what is happening at this very moment, and so they’re matching it?
No… This looks natural. This isn’t them acting—or would it not be acting?
I stare at the ground, at the sand and dirt, run my hands through my hair, as if the movement will ground me here. Because it has to. I’m floating. Actually floating and….
I’m pregnant when I die.
My head feels fuzzy.
“You showed her?” Quinn screams, outraged. She lunges toward Siora and—
“It’s okay!” Siora yells.
Then there’s lots of shouting—them shouting, arguing, hissing.
“You’re really not Enhanced?” My voice is barely audible, but they stop fighting, yelling, instantly.
“You’re our mother,” Quinn mutters. “Can’t you tell?”
I look at them, and I can. I actually can tell. It’s the vision Siora showed me. It has to be, because I feel them now. But children? My children?
What the hell?
But they’re Untamed. I got it wrong.
The words I heard…they weren’t about being Enhanced. They were about way more than that. Arguing over whether Siora was going to tell me who they were? But why have that argument, if they knew I
would hear, and think they were Enhanced, when Siora would show me the vision anyway? I could’ve killed them.
I shake my head, try to clear it. “Why did you hide who you are?” I stare at them. “You’re with me. You could’ve said, right away.”
“No,” Siora says. “We do everything as you’ve told us.”
“You told us to hide our powers because Raleigh would capture us.”
My heart pounds. “When? When did he capture you?”
“Day four. We’re now in day ten—if we keep counting linearly and ignore the time-jumps.”
My head spins faster. “I told you to keep hiding your powers—even after you escaped?”
“Yes. Because you only discover who we are now.” Siora rubs her face. “You told us what to say and what we can’t say, and when it all has to be said. We know what to do.”
I shake my head, bite my lip. “And I told you to say that? Now?”
Siora nods. “This is how you said it happens.”
“Said what happens?” There’s a thumping in my skull.
“How you learn who we are. Quinn doesn’t want you to know, I do. I show you my memory, and then my sister and I argue—we learnt everything, just as you told us to.” She frowns. “Just as you’ll tell us.”
I rub my head, hard. “This is too much.”
“Too much?” Quinn snorts. “You’ve no idea what it’s like for us—fearing that we’ll say the wrong thing, cause you to act differently and set us on a new pathway. The future’s malleable, and we could just disappear. You told us that so many times. We have to make sure your actions don’t change. We’ve got roles to fill, and you’ve got to concentrate on how you’re going to end the war. Don’t concentrate on us, okay? Just ignore us.”
Ignore them. My own children?
If that’s what they are—because logic tells me they can’t be. Time-manipulation. I didn’t even know that was a Seer power. I’ve never heard of it. I mean, if it was a power, we could’ve just gone back in time and stopped the augmenters being made.
“You can manipulate time,” Siora says. “But you don’t learn how to do it until later. You mustn’t attempt to use it earlier. Everything has to stay the same. Just carry on as normal.”
Normal? I don’t even know what normal is now. When did I ever? But normal after this? Suddenly finding myself with daughters I haven’t even had yet?
I blow air out of my mouth slowly, watch as it fogs the darkness. Then I turn, look toward the other buildings.
“Where are you going?” Siora asks, her voice high, worried, and I hadn’t even realized I was walking, walking away from them.
I shrug, throw my hands up. What can I say?
This is…this is too much. It doesn’t make sense. It can’t. Not really. Time travel. Them.
“Just leave her,” Quinn mutters.
Their faces fill my mind.
Faces so like mine.
But then, the more I look at the girls, the more I see Corin in them too. Quinn’s got the broad shoulders, like he does, and Siora’s nose is like his too, though smaller.
Corin.
Oh Gods.
How can I be around him, knowing we have children, because…because I need to get pregnant before the war ends, because our daughters are here? They have to be born so I can send them back.
A family. I’m seventeen. I’m not even an adult.
My breath catches in my throat. I don’t want things to change between Corin and me. But they will. They can’t not. Knowledge changes things. And knowledge like this….
Unless….
I turn around, look at them.
“The others can’t find out about this,” I say. “Corin can’t find out.”
“Of course. We’re not going to change anything or do anything differently from what you told us to do.” Quinn looks annoyed. “The holes in time and everything would get even bigger. There are already enough ripples.”
“It doesn’t matter about the holes,” I shout, throw my hands into the air. Why can’t they see? Why can’t they understand? “It’s Corin—he can’t find out. He mustn’t. Okay? Even if you do say, he won’t believe you. He’ll believe me. I’ll say you’re not our children. I’ll say your mad. Or I’ll say you’re Enhanced, and they’ll listen to me. You’ll be dead in an instant.” My words are fast, and I don’t know why I’m threatening them like that. But I am. It’s not like me, is it?
But I can’t be their mother. Not really. Not here.
I look at them. They haven’t reacted to my words. Did they know I was going to say that? Do they know everything I’m going to say from now on? Have I told them what I’m thinking too?
But children. They’re only a handful of years younger than me.
No. Here, I’m not their mother. I can’t be.
Quinn folds her arms. “We won’t say a word.” She looks at the ground. “Couldn’t if we wanted to. Can’t have more ripples than there are supposed to be.”
Ripples. “Like when we went back a week? Esther being pregnant again?”
“Yes. Esther—who’s giving birth now.” Quinn’s voice is curt. “Ripples take you—and some other Untamed—forward or back, from a couple of days to a week or two. You said it is a side effect of sending us back here. Affects the planes for two weeks or so.”
Two weeks. Gods, it’s going to affect me for more than two weeks.
Why did they say anything?
Because you were going to kill them.
But why did they say those things to make me think they were Enhanced? Of course I’d attack them.
Because it all has to stay the same.
I look down at my fingers. The cuts from the spirit fight earlier are oozing fresh blood. I wipe it on my jeans. My face is starting to hurt now—a lot—where Quinn punched me.
I stare at them both. This has ripped holes in everything, irreparably changed things. I can’t pretend I don’t know.
But Corin can’t find out.
It would change things between us.
Maybe it already has.
My heart quickens, and a strange heat fills me.
No…it can’t? Can it?
I turn and look at them. “Do we win the war?”
Quinn glares at me. “We can’t tell you, so don’t ask.”
“We can’t change what you know at this stage,” Siora says. “Right now, you’re not supposed to know how it ends. Knowledge would change things. We have to stick to the conversations you’ve trained us for.”
“And the fights,” Quinn adds, a glint in her eye. “That was fun.”
“Sev!” Corin grins as I enter the infirmary. Most of the Untamed are in here, smiling. I see Esther with the baby—Toivo—in her arms.
She’s given birth twice, and I’ve missed it both times.
That almost seems funny.
“What’s happened?” The light in Corin’s eyes changes as he sees the cuts, the blood, the bruises on me. He looks to Bea and Elf, and I know he’s comparing my cuts to theirs, wondering why mine are so much worse, why they didn’t tell him.
“Siora? Quinn?” Viktoriya exclaims, and I realize the girls are behind me.
I turn, shoot a warning look at them. Both meet my eyes, nod.
Then I realize how bad they look. How injured. And I did that to them.
“You’ve been attacked?” Elf yells, and then everything’s a frenzy of people milling around us, asking questions.
Quinn tells them it was the spirits. No one questions her.
“Bloody hell,” Corin says.
“Seven? Are you okay?” That’s Esther, looking alarmed.
I nod. “I’m fine.”
Suddenly, I don’t know why I came here—even though I know I do, I needed to check my people were here, like the girls said, that my Untamed are okay—but now I want to get as far away as possible.
And Siora and Quinn too. They can’t be near Corin. They may have promised, said they won’t tell him, but so many promises are made o
nly to be broken at some point.
I swallow hard, feel sick.
“I need to sleep,” I say, waving my hand at Corin to stop him saying whatever he’s about to.
“Oh.” He nods. “Okay, well. Let me show you something.”
“What?”
He just smiles. “You’ll see soon.”
He takes my hand, leads me out, and confusion fills me, makes my heart and head and every part of me hurt even more. I twist back, see Siora and Quinn are staying in the room.
Good. Getting Corin away from them is good.
But what about the others? All the other Untamed… It would be so easy for Siora and Quinn to say something to them.
No, you need to trust them.
I flinch.
“Are you okay?” Corin looks at me, concern, tenderness in his eyes.
I nod.
“Looks like those spirits really hurt you.”
I make a vague noise.
Corin leads me out of the building, and into the next one. It’s the smallest one, one I haven’t been in much, but it’s been tidied up fairly well. Although there are no furnishings or carpets, it looks clean, inviting, cozy.
It’s quiet. Finally. And not in the way it felt quiet before. This isn’t a quiet that precedes a warning, that encourages the pounding beat of my heart.
This is peace. Relaxing. Tranquil.
I breathe out a sigh.
Corin leads me up the narrow staircase, then we stop outside a room.
“Go in,” he says, holding the door open for me.
I step around him, see the flickering light, smell the candles. Scented candles. Where the hell have they come from?
I stop in the middle of the room. Blankets and furs, piled on top of a frame. A bed. A proper bed.
My eyes widen.
A bed.
My mind is a flash of thoughts that reel over and over, but each involves Corin and the bed and pregnancy.
My heart speeds up.
“Do you like it?” He touches my shoulder, the softest of touches, but it suddenly seems so heavy. So real. So obvious.
There’s a chasm inside me, one ripping open my heart, my everything, so it matches the dark space in my soul, my powers. For a moment, I struggle to breathe. Last night—why couldn’t this have been last night? With Corin. With no worry, none of this weight, this knowledge on my shoulders…what I wouldn’t give for it.
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