He pulled her into his arms and kissed her lips gently. “I would never burden you with that shit. It’s unimaginable. You’d have nightmares.”
“And you don’t?”
“Nope. I’m hardened to it now. I do my job and then shut it off.”
She shuddered. “That must be hard. And lonely.”
“I have the guys on my team. We decompress with each other. It’s enough.”
She wrapped her arms around his middle and set her cheek on his chest. Yeah, his chest was much larger and harder than it had been a decade ago. It felt good. Wonderful. Scary. When she tipped her head back, she decided to broach a subject he might balk at again. “Tell me what happened with your dad, Cole,” she whispered.
He sighed and rubbed her arms before releasing her and walking away. He paced for a moment and then dropped down onto her sofa.
She decided to sit near him, not touching, but at least on the other end of the sofa. She sat sideways in the corner and curled her legs under her.
Cole leaned back and stared at the ceiling. “My dad was a dick, April.”
“When did that start?”
“When my mom died. When I was five.”
She flinched. How had she never known this? “You never said anything.”
He turned to face her and leaned one arm on the back of the couch. “I didn’t like to talk about it. I kept it to myself.”
“Yeah, but you kept it from me?” She was hurt. She’d thought they were closer than that.
He looked down at his lap. “I didn’t want anything about that side of me to touch what you and I had. I was embarrassed too. And frankly, when I wasn’t at home, the last thing I wanted to do was remind myself what it was like in my house.”
“We never went to your house. You always said it was because your younger brother was a pain in the ass.”
He smirked. “Jacob was definitely a pain in the ass, but that wasn’t the only reason. My dad married Amanda less than a year after my mom died. She might have already been pregnant with Jacob. Honestly, I never did the math. Who cares? Amanda wasn’t too happy about taking on a six-year-old, and she made that clear every day of my life. Jacob was the favorite in my house. He could do no wrong.”
“But even your dad felt that way?”
A sardonic laugh escaped Cole’s lips. “He was worse than her. He was verbally abusive, April. It was bad. That’s why I joined the Navy the moment I graduated. I didn’t want to listen to one more minute of his toxic bullshit. And I never looked back.”
Not even for me, she thought. “I’m so sorry. I wish you’d told me.”
He shrugged. “Maybe I should have. I don’t know. I didn’t like it tainting the only thing that was good in my world.”
“Is that why you were always such a joker? Were you hiding from your own sadness?”
“Yep. You should have been a therapist,” he teased.
“Hardly. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.”
“It was a way to escape. I needed laughter and smiles around me when I wasn’t at home. It worked. Oddly enough, I kept that persona in the military. For different reasons of course, but I still like to have laughter and smiles around me when I’m not on a mission. It helps bury the shitty world that exists out there.”
“Makes sense.” She felt incredibly sad for the little boy who lost his mom and spent twelve years in a crappy household. “That’s why it’s complicated dealing with your father’s business?”
“Yeah. I have some decisions to make. Part of me thinks it would be easier to just sign my half of the equity over to Jacob, leave town, and never look back.”
She gasped. “Wow. That’s big though. It’s not his money.”
“True, but the cost of recovering my half might not be worth the benefits.”
She nodded slowly. “And Amanda can’t help?”
He laughed again, the sound making her shudder. “That bitch hates me. She hated me the entire time I lived in the house, and she has proven since my dad died that she’d rather never see me again. She doesn’t believe I deserve a dime since I haven’t been the one here making the business successful.” He shrugged. “Maybe she’s right about that part, but for my entire life, Jacob got anything he wanted. I got nothing. I know I sound bitter and resentful, but it’s true.”
April tried to recall Cole’s financial situation in high school. True, he’d never had designer clothes or the newest shoes, but she’d just assumed his family was on a tight budget. His stepmom didn’t work outside the home and she’d never been certain how lucrative the mechanic shop had been.
By the time she’d started dating Cole, though, he’d already been working nights and weekends for his dad. So, he’d had money of his own. At least he hadn’t been slave labor.
She scooted closer, glad that she’d chosen to sit on the sofa. When she could reach him, she took his hand and held it against her cheek. “I’m sorry your life was such a mess. I’m equally sorry you didn’t think you could talk to me about it.”
He flipped his hand over and stroked her cheek. “Everything about you was good and pure, ladybug. I didn’t want to sully that.”
She pursed her lips and glanced down, not wanting to cry. He always sounded so tender when he called her ladybug. Finally, she took a deep breath and met his gaze. “Well, you won’t be alone tomorrow. I’ll be with you the entire day for the funeral. If anyone wants to treat you like shit, they’ll have to do so through me.”
He smiled wryly. “You’re so ferocious,” he joked.
“I know there’s a lot of weird shit between us, and I don’t even want to begin to dissect it today, but I also know you’re a good person who doesn’t deserve to be shit on. You didn’t when you were six and you don’t now. So, yes, I’ll stand by your side tomorrow and be the best friend you need.”
“Friend, huh?” He chuckled. “I’ve never thought of you as a friend. Not even from the first day I set eyes on you.”
She frowned. “When was that? Don’t tell me you remember the day we met.”
He nodded. “Well, it wasn’t the day we met. It was the day I first saw you. You were practicing with the cheerleaders before my first JV game. You had on that fucking cute uniform that barely covered your sexy butt and your hair was in those cute pigtails that bounced when you jumped.”
She giggled as if she were still fifteen. “Oh, God. I looked ridiculous in that uniform.”
He shook his head. “Hell, no. You looked like an angel. I think I knew I wanted you from that first moment. I didn’t build up the courage to speak to you for another week, and then it happened more by accident.”
She sat up straighter. “You bumped into me in the cafeteria, making me spill my fries all over the floor.” She narrowed her gaze. “That seems to be a habit with you. You know, you could probably get my attention without making me spill shit.”
He laughed. “Neither time was intentional. I can assure you. But the spilled fries did help by becoming a conversation starter.”
“You bought me another bag of them.”
He grinned. “And you shared them with me.”
Her face flushed, not for the first time today. She remembered that day clearly. The day Cole stole her heart. He never gave it back either. He may have left town and broken something inside her, but he took her heart with him.
After a few minutes of silence, Cole leaned in and kissed her sweetly. “Thanks for offering to come tomorrow. It means a lot to me.”
She was too choked up to respond. All she knew for now was that he needed her tomorrow. Any weird blood between them would have to wait until after the funeral.
Chapter 5
Cole was running a few minutes late the next morning. He was supposed to meet Amanda and Jacob at the funeral home in the family room before the service. He was still a half-hour early, but he knew the two of them would be pissed and make it known.
As he approached the room, he stopped dead in his tracks. Raised voi
ces caught his attention. Angry voices that were hissing loudly. He recognized Amanda’s and Jacob’s voices, but not the third one. A chill ran up his spine as he listened to what the man was saying though.
He spoke through obviously gritted teeth. “I don’t give a fuck that your husband died of a heart attack, Ms. Landry. All I care about is that he owed me money, and now you do. I expect you to get it to me by Friday morning. Is that understood?”
Amanda’s voice was shrill. “You don’t understand. We don’t have that kind of money.”
“Of course you do. You always have the option of signing the shop over to me. That would cover the debt sufficiently.”
Amanda gasped. “That’s all we have. It’s my husband’s business. It’s our family legacy. I’m not signing it over to you.”
Jacob chimed in with a lame, “She’s right, man. Not gonna happen.”
The unknown voice chuckled in a tone that made Cole’s blood boil. “You don’t have a choice. Trust me. You don’t want to risk denying me what’s mine. Your husband was in over his head. Now it’s your problem.”
Fuck. This could not be happening. Cole rubbed his forehead as he backed up several paces. He didn’t want to be seen by whoever this man was when the asshole finally left. Cole glanced right and left. He reached for the first door he spotted and eased it open, thankful it wasn’t locked. It turned out to be a supply closet, and that was fine because two minutes later, heavy footsteps stomped down the hallway, disappearing.
Cole waited a few minutes before exiting the closet and entering the family room.
“Where the hell have you been?” Amanda asked the moment he stepped inside.
“I was running late. Who was that man I saw leaving on my way in? He looked fit to kill.”
Jacob gritted his teeth and glared at Cole. “That was Mayor Chamberlain.”
Cole stumbled back a step. The mayor? Surely there was a mistake.
“Apparently Dad owed him some money.”
“Yeah, and we need you to handle the situation,” Amanda chimed in, standing tall and pretending to be much stronger than the woman Cole had just listened to whining at the mayor.
“How the hell do you propose I handle it?”
“Give him the money your father owed. It’s probably your fault he was in debt in the first place.”
Cole narrowed his gaze at his stepmother. “How the fuck could it possibly be my fault? I haven’t been here in ten years.”
She shook a finger at him. “That’s right, and it was upsetting to your father. He started staying out late after you left. Drinking and carousing.”
She was full of shit, making this up as she went along. Drinking and carousing? Who uses a word like carousing?
Cole knew better. His dad probably hated Amanda as much as Cole did. The woman was a bitch. Marcus probably spent more and more time away from the house to avoid her. He sure didn’t do it because he was sad about the loss of the prodigal son.
“Cole?”
Cole spun around to find April stepping into the room. Her brow was furrowed, making him wonder how much of the fun family chat she’d overheard. Not that he cared. Except he didn’t want her to worry.
As she approached, he took in the rest of her. Jesus. April could even look attractive at a funeral. She was wearing a black dress, but it was form-fitting and above the knee. Still modest, but it gave him a glimpse of all her curves. She had on black pumps too. Her hair was swept up in a loose bun. But what took his breath away was the necklace around her neck. A simple gold chain with a tiny pendant.
Even from a distance, he knew exactly what it was. A ladybug. He’d given her that necklace for her birthday their junior year. He couldn’t believe she still had it.
He thought of another piece of jewelry that should be on her right now, except he’d never given it to her. Instead, he’d left town after talking to Violet.
“Who’s this?” Amanda asked, her voice snarky.
Cole set a hand on April’s arm and leaned in to kiss her cheek.
“Don’t tell me you brought a date to a funeral,” Jacob hissed.
Cole turned his gaze toward the two of them, eyes narrowed. “This is April McKay. I’ve known her half my life. She’s here for moral support.”
Amanda chuckled, the sound ugly and grating. “As if you need moral support. You gonna play the sad victim now? You haven’t called your father in ten years. Don’t try to convince us you need emotional support.”
April flinched under his touch, but she stood taller and took a step forward. “I don’t know much about your family dynamics, but the man was still Cole’s father. We all grieve in our own ways.”
Jacob groaned and stomped out of the room.
Amanda held her ground though, hand on her hip. She looked April up and down with disdain. Cole had never hit a woman, but he wanted to punch his stepmother in the jaw.
April gripped his arm as if she knew he needed to be held back. “Come on. Let’s go upstairs. People are starting to arrive.”
His heart was racing as he let her lead him from the room, grateful for her intervention.
“What was that all about?” she whispered as they climbed the stairs.
“How much did you hear?” He glanced both ways, decided they were alone halfway up the stairs, and turned to face her, his hands going to her cheeks.
“Enough.” She held his gaze. “I was right behind you when you entered the room. Do you think the mayor was extorting money from your dad?”
Cole sighed. “Maybe. That seems so farfetched though. Seriously? The mayor? That kind of shit only happens in movies.”
She shrugged. “I don’t know the mayor well, but we both know his daughter. Do you remember Violet? She was the class gossip.”
Cole shuddered. “Oh, I certainly remember.” He tried to keep his tone even as he remembered the last conversation he had with Violet.
April rolled her eyes. “I’m pretty sure she spent all of high school trying to break you and me up so she could have you.”
He winced. In a way, Violet had succeeded. It wasn’t entirely her fault, but her loose lips and a willingness to spread every piece of gossip she heard had been what caused Cole to leave town abruptly and never look back.
Cole winced as he remembered Violet’s exact words that day, the last day he’d been in town. “April said she sure hoped you weren’t going to propose to her.”
April didn’t know anything about that conversation though, and he wasn’t about to tell her here in the funeral home.
He slid a hand into April’s and continued up the stairs. “Come on. The last thing we need is more gossip from someone catching us on the stairs and spreading it around the entire town.”
“You keeping our friendship a secret?” April teased as she squeezed his fingers.
He glanced at her with a smirk. “This is not friendship. You were not my friend in high school and you still aren’t. Friends do not think the kinds of thoughts that run through my mind every time I see you.” He tugged her against his side when they reached the landing. His lips came to that spot behind her ear. “Only you could look sexy in a black dress at a funeral.”
She gasped, but she also leaned into him.
His mind spun. What was happening between him and April? It was like they picked up right where they’d left off ten years ago. It was particularly strange because there was so much left unspoken. He needed to tell her why he left, that he’d known she hadn’t wanted to marry him. That it had messed with his mind and still did to this day. But he didn’t want to rock the precarious boat they were floating in. In addition, he wasn’t too keen on the idea of hearing her response. So, he’d wait.
When he lifted his gaze, he found Rodney coming toward them from down the hallway. He hadn’t seen his old friend or spoken to him in ten years either. Rodney was on the local police force now, and apparently, he was working today because he was in his uniform.
April stiffened beside Cole and released h
is hand.
Cole watched Rodney’s gaze go from their combined hands to their faces as April put a few inches of distance between them. Rodney’s brow furrowed for a second, and then he shook it off and smiled at Cole, hand outstretched. “It’s been a long time.”
“It sure has,” Cole agreed, shaking his friend’s hand.
Rodney nodded at April. “April. Good to see you.”
“You too,” she murmured.
Pain stabbed Cole in the chest. Was she trying to hide their relationship? Were they even in some sort of relationship? And why was she acting so weird around Rodney? Cole glanced back and forth between them. Something was up with them. When had that happened? Did Rodney have anything to do with the reason April hadn’t wanted to marry Cole?
He was being overly dramatic. He’d reconnected with her yesterday, and though he immediately knew he felt the same way about her as he had ten years ago, it was unfair of him to expect her to return the sentiment. Hell, apparently she hadn’t even returned it then. Cole had been madly in love with his high school sweetheart, and April… God, he didn’t know what she’d felt. He’d thought they’d been on the same page, until he’d learned otherwise.
“Sorry about your father.”
Cole nodded. He didn’t bother to explain the fact that he wasn’t that broken up about his dad. April wasn’t the only person he hadn’t told about his family life in high school. He hadn’t told anyone. Rodney had been his best friend. As far as Cole knew, he was oblivious.
“Listen, I hate to do this to you today of all days, but do you have a moment? Could we talk in private somewhere?” Rodney asked.
Cole flinched in surprise.
April started to step away, but he wasn’t having it. He reached out and grabbed her hand, tugging her back against his side. He didn’t know why he felt the need to be so possessive of her. He didn’t have any right to publicly claim her like this, but he wasn’t about to let her walk away.
Cole looked back toward Rodney. “I don’t have secrets from April.” Not anymore anyway. Except for the one.
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