“And if she rejects me again?”
Gabriel shrugged. “At least you’ll know.”
“Yo!” Darrell called again.
Gabriel jerked his head to the exit. “Come on.”
Nicholas took his seat and tried to focus on the match, but his conversation with Gabriel remained on his mind. His best friend’s advice made sense, but he still had reservations. He wasn’t sure his ego could take another rebuff from Dana. It would hurt a lot more this time around, because his feelings for her had gained supernormal strength.
On the flip side, if he didn’t try, he had no way of knowing if her response had changed. He had to, or live with regret.
He shot a secret glance her way and his stomach did a somersault when he met her gaze. Her cheeks reddened and he guessed it was at being caught staring. But there was a softness behind her eyes he’d never seen before, one that resurrected hope. He returned a smile and she ducked her head. Maybe he had a chance. Maybe.
The doorbell rang, and Gabriel groaned. “Of all the doors in this freaking building…”
“Expecting anyone?” Nicholas asked.
“Hell no,” he replied, his eyes still on the screen. “It’s game day.”
“I’ll get it,” Nicholas said, standing up. He opened the door, and the sight of Ashley barging in through the open space took a moment to sink in. Just as it did, she threw herself at him, tiptoeing up for a kiss.
He eased her off. “What are you doing here?”
“What do you mean?” Ashley asked, pulling back and making a face. “Did you not get my voicemail?”
Damnit. He’d ignored her phone calls all day, including the voicemails she sent. Why couldn’t she text like a normal person?
“Guess you didn’t,” she said. “Or you would have known I was coming to spend time with you.”
“Why?”
She drew her fingers over his arm with a provocative smile. “Because I missed you.”
“Ashley…” Another one of her mind games, no doubt. And he had a feeling that his indifference had fueled her reaction this time around. Whenever they broke up, he’d call her phone non-stop, but this time he’d made no move to contact her.
“Come on, baby.” She braced him again. “Stop playing hard to get. You know you want me.”
Before he could respond, a movement in his peripheral view caught his attention. He looked to see Dana coming towards him, slinging her bag strap across her shoulder. “I have to run,” she said, glancing at Ashley, then to him with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.
“Now?” He eased Ashley from him. “But the game’s still on.”
“I know, but—”
“Hi, I’m Ashley, Nick’s girlfriend,” Ashley cut in, extending her hand to Dana.
Dana looked down at the offered hand but didn’t take it. “Good for you,” she replied, moving towards the door.
“Dana, wait.”
She kept walking. “Gotta go, Nicholas.”
Nicholas looked to Gabriel, who’d shifted his attention from the TV to them. His friend mouthed, go after her with a wild gesture to the door. Ignoring Ashley’s protests, he rushed out, taking the lift to catch Dana.
He caught up with her on the ground floor as she scuttled across the lobby and memories of the wedding night surfaced. Seeing the dejection on her face now, he doubted tonight would have the same outcome.
“Dana—” he caught her hand before she got through the door. “Hold up.”
She stopped and turned, but didn’t pull her hand away. “I need to go, Nicholas.”
“Why so soon? I thought we were enjoying the game.”
“We were, but…” this time she tugged her hand from his hold. “I shouldn’t have come.”
“Is this about Ashley? Because—”
“I don’t care about your girlfriend.”
“She’s not my girlfriend. Not anymore.”
“I don’t care,” she said again, pushing the door open. “Bye, Nicholas.”
“Typical Dana,” he called out after her, irritated and disappointed at once. “Always running.”
She braked at his response, then after an audible sigh, stepped through the door.
With a clenched jaw and a determined resolve, Nicholas pivoted and headed upstairs. This was it; the final straw. Screw his love for Dana and whatever regret that would follow tonight.
Never again would he chase her.
Never again.
CHAPTER TEN
“You, my friend, are the queen of idiots.”
“Oh, thanks a lot, Iz.” Dana curled her legs beneath her on the couch while cutting her eyes at her best friend.
“Idiot is an understatement,” Carina said, her tone as dry as toast. “You ran from a good thing.”
“You don’t know that,” Dana replied.
Carina moved from her place in the armchair and joined Dana. “What I know is, you like this guy. We saw it, didn’t we, Iz?” She looked to Isabel for confirmation and at her nod, continued. “It was clear as day on the dance floor in the club, and even more after you slept with him. Why deny it?”
“I’m not…” she pressed her fingers to her temple with a moan. “Just let it go, please.”
“Not after those tears, no.”
“The tears were nothing.” Duh. She should have known that her red-rimmed eyes would have been a cause for concern with her friends. But she couldn’t help the tears that descended after leaving Nicholas tonight. Whether it was from anger towards herself or him, she would have to decide.
For weeks after Isabel’s wedding she lived in a what-if bubble, kicking herself for not giving him a chance that night. But she had been so afraid of what he would say, knowing she would have to face her feelings for him. She didn’t want to. Instead, she started a stupid fight and pushed him away—again.
But then, she took it as a sign that they weren’t meant to be, that the process to protect her heart should continue. She moved on and ignored the impulse to contact him. It was better this way; her uncomplicated life without a man who, with one touch, reduced her to an out-of-control mess.
But seeing him in town today brought her face-to-face with her emotions. There was nowhere to hide. She had to admit to her feelings for him. For the first time, she wanted to act, to release them to him. Screw fear. To hell with the consequences. Running wasn’t an option anymore. She wanted Nicholas. She hoped to God it wasn’t too late.
Being around him in a relaxed setting revealed more of the man she’d fallen for. Nicholas wasn’t the quiet kid she knew in high school or the arrogant, broody man she saw later on. He seemed easygoing; he didn’t talk much, but he laughed, a lot, and it made him more approachable than before. She saw more of his caring side too, when he checked to ensure her comfort. This was more than lust, her feelings. It had more depth and strength than a carnal response to him.
It had thrown her to learn that he was leaving tonight, that she hadn’t much time to talk to him in private, but no biggie. All she needed was a few minutes. If things went how she hoped, they would have all the time in the world afterwards.
But her plans came crashing to earth when the beautiful redhead entered and fastened her body to Nicholas, clearly marking her territory. The intimacy between them was clear as day. The way she touched him…
Dana was no fool. She knew an exit time when she saw one. Besides, the stupid tears had begun to form. She couldn’t bear the thought of Nicholas seeing her cry.
So, yeah, she ran, but this time she had a good reason. Never again would she attempt to let her guard down.
“Dana, I’ve known you for years, and I can count the times I’ve seen you cry. You’re the toughest woman I know. So, don’t give me that bullshit response.”
She cut Isabel a glare before releasing a conceding breath. “Fine, the tears meant something, ok? I’m angry at myself for almost giving in to my weakness and telling Nicholas I want to be with him.”
“Wow...” Carina grinned.
“Finally, she admits it,” Isabel said.
“Yeah...”
“Then what are you doing here, when Nicholas is all the way across town, about to return to New York?” Isabel asked.
“Did you miss the part where I told you he had a girlfriend?”
“No,” Carina said. “But we heard where he told you they weren’t together anymore.”
“I guess I should believe him, right?” Dana asked, her voice laced with sarcasm. “After seeing their interaction, I should ignore the red flag and dive right in. Cool.”
“You should have stuck around, at least. Ask the right questions, get clarification. Instead, you turned tail and ran.” Isabel shook her head. “The Dana I know would confront the situation head on.”
Dana swung her legs to the floor and looked to her friends. “Guys, I’m scared.”
“Of what?” Isabel asked.
“Of getting hurt again,” she replied. “For the past ten years I’ve done an outstanding job keeping my heart intact, and with Nicholas, it would take nothing to return to square one. My feelings for him are strong, dangerous. From the beginning I fought them, but they took over without effort. I can’t control them. Because of them, I can’t breathe around him, can’t think straight… that’s not good, not in the least. I hate not having control. What if being with him creates more damage than before?”
“Wow, that’s a mouthful,” Carina said.
“You won’t know until you try,” Isabel advised.
“Yeah, but do I want to?”
“Honey…” Isabel gave her a sad smile before saying. “If you don’t, I have a feeling you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”
“You think so?”
“Yes, because you are in love with him, like you’ve never been before.” At Dana’s sigh she continued. “And I think you should let him know, now, before you lose that chance. He won’t keep waiting forever, certainly won’t keep chasing you much longer.”
Dana closed her eyes and leaned against the back of the couch. Right as rain, Isabel was. Thinking now, she realized how resilient Nicholas had been. Since high school, no less, he worked to get her attention, and she’d done nothing but push him away. She marveled that he kept trying after all these years.
Now, it was her turn to make a move. A huge part of her wanted to. She didn’t want to regret baring her feelings to him. But a lingering doubt remained, along with the fear of being hurt again. Yes, ten years had passed since Jamie’s betrayal, but there remained the hesitation to trust another man again.
And what about Ashley? Should she take his word that they weren’t an item anymore?
“Stop thinking about it and just get it done,” Isabel said, cutting into her musings. “Let me give you the same advice you gave to me. Go to him.”
“Well, isn’t this déjà vu? At least, this time we know the ex is already in his apartment.” She referred to when Isabel went to Luke’s apartment and found his half-naked ex with him. It was a slight misunderstanding that Luke rectified at once. “I think it’s a horrible idea, going to him. They’re probably making up as we speak.”
“All I hear is excuses, excuses,” Isabel said, rolling her eyes.
“Fine,” Dana replied. “But if he slams the door in my face, I’m done with you both.”
“Yeah, yeah. You don’t mean that,” Carina replied.
“He won’t,” Isabel added. “He’s in love with you too, Dana.” She took Dana’s coat from the hangar and handed her the car keys. “Now go, before he leaves.”
Isabel’s last comment activated an urgency and Dana made a mad dash to her car. Nicholas had plans to leave Trenton by nine. By her watch, she had a little over twenty minutes to get to him. But the ride from her apartment to Gabriel’s would take about as much. She was cutting it close, but she had to try. No way would she sleep tonight if she didn’t.
With her foot pressed to the gas, she flew down the highway, keeping an eye out for highway patrol. Thankfully, a smooth road lay ahead and she cleared most of the journey with minutes to spare.
But just as she counted her good luck, the car skidded. She gripped the wheel, pressing the brakes, expecting the car would stop. It didn’t. Her screams cut into the night as the car slid off the road towards the metal rails.
“For the last time, Gabriel, lay off.”
“I won’t, not until you drop that bag and go to Dana.”
Nicholas adjusted the strap of his luggage on his shoulder. “Right, because I’m such a glutton for punishment.” He’d meant it earlier when he decided tonight was the last straw, that he would not pursue Dana again. His feelings for her would have to take a back seat somehow, but there was no way he would face her negative response once more.
He tried to blame her premature departure on Ashley’s arrival and wished he’d listened to his ex’s voicemail. Maybe, if Ashley hadn’t showed up, Dana would have stayed, and it would have led to something more. But deep down, he knew her leaving had nothing to do with any jealousy or insecurity on her part. While she couldn’t hide her attraction to him, she wanted nothing like the long-term relationship he had in mind.
So, no. Despite his best friend’s constant nagging, he would accept defeat and return to New York. It was over.
“No. You’re a man who loves a woman,” Gabriel replied. “And a man who’s about to get his ass kicked if he continues to act like a stubborn idiot.”
The doorbell rang before Nicholas answered, and he prayed it wasn’t Ashley returning to disturb his mood further. Earlier, he’d gently told her there was nothing left between them and she gave him a piece of her mind before storming off in a huff.
He hoped she’d gotten the message. If that was her on the other side of the door, then he would deliver a harsher response to ward her off. He didn’t want to do it, but if it became necessary, then so be it. Her constant on-again-off-again attitude wasn’t for him. What he wanted was a woman who shared his desire to settle down.
“I’ll get it,” Gabriel said, walking past him. His chuckle alerted Nicholas and he looked as Dana entered with a cautious smile. Her hair was a mess and there was a slight bruise on her forehead that wasn’t there earlier.
“Hi,” she said, almost in a whisper.
By now, he’d dropped his bag and was making his way to her. “What happened?”
She brushed off his concern with a wave of her hand. “Just a minor car accident.”
“But you’re hurt.” He brushed stray locks from her face to examine to bruise.
“I’m ok. Better than my car, trust me.”
“What happened?” he asked again. The urge to take her in his arms and erase whatever had gone wrong was so great. But he didn’t, just kept his hands to himself.
“An oil spill on the highway. I crashed into the rails, but luckily, I had been pumping the brakes so the impact wasn’t as bad as it should have been. I got out, called a cab, now I’m here.” Triumph filled her face, and it puzzled him. She’d just damaged her car; why was she so happy?
And why was she here?
He didn’t ask; not that he didn’t want to know. Instead, he took her hand and squeezed it. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
She nodded. “Can we talk?”
“I, uh, need to get something from my car,” Gabriel said. “Take all the time you need.”
They stood in silence long after Gabriel left. He restrained himself from breaking it, from spewing what was suddenly on the tip of his tongue.
I love you Dana. I have for years. You are the only woman for me.
But he kept his mouth shut and his eyes trained to her, waiting with pent-up anxiety for her first words.
They came soon after, short and unexpected. “I’m scared,” she said, crossing her arms, giving herself a hug. And he believed her. It was there in her eyes, and he realized it wasn’t the first time. He’d seen it that night when they made love, and the night in the parking lot. But he allowed his feelings to overshadow hers.<
br />
“What are you afraid of?”
She blew a breath and moved to the couch across from him. “Before you, I hadn’t been with a man in ten years, since Jamie…” her voice trailed, and he saw the flash of pain that crossed her face. He remembered the blinding fury that overcame him when he heard of her ex’s betrayal and he wanted to find Jamie and tear him in two. But he had no idea she’d suffered a mental breakdown until years later. By then, they weren’t on speaking terms.
“I haven’t been fair to you, I know, and I’m sorry,” she said. “But I had to protect my heart—still do. There’s no way I could handle another betrayal.”
“What is it about me that makes you think you would need to?” he asked, folding his arms.
She snorted. “Is that a trick question? I know you, Nicholas. I’ve seen you change women as often as your underwear. You’re definitely a recipe for heartbreak.”
Crap. It all made sense now. His promiscuous lifestyle and her insecurity did not mix. No wonder she kept running. She didn’t trust that he would remain faithful.
“That was the old me, Dana, I swear.” Heaven help him if she didn’t grasp the sincerity in his response. She had to believe he shed that lifestyle long ago. “I’ve been done with one-night-stands for years.”
“You had one with me.”
“It doesn’t count. Not when I’ve loved you for years, and for every minute that night. Not when I’m still love with you.” There, he said it. He’d placed his heart in her hands. Please, God, don’t let her crush it. Not again.
Dana released a soft gasp, and her chest rose and fell as she took a deep breath. “Please, Nicholas, don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”
He pushed to his feet, coming to her and pulling her from the seat. Her big blue eyes were like pools of emotion, pulling his own from the depths of his core. “I mean it, with everything I have in me.”
In reply, she looped her arms around him and crushed her head to his chest. “I’m in love with you, too.”
Doctor Love: A Medical Romance Series (Medical Heart Throb Series) Page 22
