by Teg
“I brought a friend today, Lizzy. You remember Will Darcy? He asked if he
could visit with you. I know you don't get many others coming to see you and didn't think you'd mind.”
Will thought the opposite but remained silent.
Before moving on to her sister's hand and arm, Jane pulled a cd from her bag, placing it in a portable stereo Will had not noticed in the corner. “I finally bought that cd I told you about last week. What do you think? Will? Do you like it?”
He nodded, then realised she expected him to speak. “Yes, it's very nice.” He'd no opinion, actually, only now paying attention to the music playing softly. It was pleasant, he discovered, and the kind of tune that encouraged one to move.
He thought Jane clever in her choice. “It almost makes me feel like dancing,”
he said, directing his comment to the silent member of their party. “But if you'd rather not, I'll understand.”
Jane stared at him in amazement. It had taken her nearly a week to begin her one sided conversations with Lizzy but Will had been with her less than an hour. He grinned self-consciously, passing her the bottle of lotion. Will admired Elizabeth's long, slender fingers as he worked the lotion into them. The nails were trimmed short and straight. He'd never had the privilege of holding
Elizabeth's hand and felt a little awkward at the intimacy of massaging and caressing her body while she lay completely unaware. The last time he had
touched her.....
“When you flex her arm, like this, be careful of where the monitors' cables pass underneath. I accidentally disconnected a monitor line one time and the
machine sounded an alarm, scaring the heck out of me and bringing the nurses running.”
Will nodded, examining the convoluted mass trailing from the side of the bed.
His eyes were drawn to the heart monitor's display; the rhythm slow but steady with no variation. He felt a stab of disappointment, irrationally hoping some miraculous change would have occurred when Elizabeth knew he was present.
“Come on, Lizzy,” he whispered. “I know you're in there. Where's that feisty woman who can crush me with a few words?” He could feel Jane's eyes on him as again she was astonished. When he met her gaze no longer was there any
disapproval evident. His friend's gentle-hearted wife understood Will's pain as clearly as her own and offered sympathy as well as gratitude for his effort.
Feeling that gratitude was undeserved, Will fell silent, although his hands continued to work the muscles in Elizabeth's shoulder. He marvelled at how Jane could spend day after day in this sterile environment and still retain her good humour. He knew that apart from the healing of her cuts and bruises
Elizabeth had shown no sign of improvement, yet her sister displayed little ill effect of what surely must be agonising disappointment. To grieve for a loved one not yet dead but for whom hope was slowly dwindling.....
With a start Will realised the direction of his own feelings. He became angry with himself for giving up on her. Elizabeth. With renewed determination he gently dabbed the honeysuckle scented lotion on her forehead and slowly
swirled it along her temples in a circular motion, beginning with hardly any movement and gradually expanding the circles outward. He moved his fingers ever so gently along her brow, down the length of her nose and across her
cheekbones; behind her ears, following the line of her jaw and then under her chin to the hollow of her throat. All the while Jane watched in fascination.
Finally, placing his thumbs in the middle of her brow, Will softly brushed them outward and down along her temples, then repeated the movement across her
cheeks and then her chin. He did it again and again, until the colour which rose in her face satisfied him. He glanced over to find that Jane was in one of the chairs, observing him.
“Thank you, Will,” she said in a voice that was close to breaking. “That was beautiful.”
He hadn't been expecting praise and her comment embarrassed him, causing
him to turn away again. Jane checked her watch, knowing that their visiting time was up. With a sigh she moved to Will's side and put a hand on his
shoulder. “I want to speak with the nurses before we leave. I'll be back in a few minutes. Are you okay here?”
“Yes,” he nodded. “I'm fine.”
Jane took Elizabeth's hand, bidding her sister goodbye. “I'll see you soon, Lizzy.”
When he was alone with her, Will picked up Elizabeth's hand and placed it against his lips. His senses were filled with images of honeysuckle.... flowers woven through her hair... He inhaled deeply, trying to drown out the antiseptic odour of the room with the sweet scent of her skin.
“Lizzy,” he murmured. “Do you know how much you are missed? You didn't
believe me when I said I love you, I know that. I couldn't have gone about it any worse.” He pressed her hand to his cheek, fervently believing that she could hear his words. “You have been in my thoughts constantly. My waking
hours are spent dreaming of you; asleep I relive losing you. My God, don't let me lose you forever, Lizzy. Not this way, please.” Hastily, he wiped away the tear that escaped, gently resting her arm back on the bed. Leaning over, Will placed a kiss on her brow then whispered as his lips passed her ear, “I do love you, Elizabeth Bennet.”
He didn't want to leave. It was ironic. All those weeks, steadfastly refusing to see her in this state and now it was an effort to walk through the door to go home. With one last caress of his finger against her cheek, Will turned toward the exit and walked out.
Jane wished she could offer him some hope but her own had been exhausted
and now she was relying on Will to help her hold on a little longer, just until....
She was afraid to think of what may come and how soon.
“How did it go?” Charles asked the moment she walked in.
Jane cast aside her purse and shoes, curling up on the sofa beside him. “Please hold me, Charles. This was the most difficult morning ever.”
He wrapped his arms around her reassuringly while his mind entertained all manner of alarming scenarios. “What happened? Was there a change in Lizzy's condition when you arrived?”
“No, nothing like that.” She sniffled. “Perhaps it will be a relief even if that happens one day. Oh, Charles, how could Will be so much in love with my
sister and none of us know it?”
He smiled weakly, no intention of telling her he'd suspected it for some time already. “Was it that bad?”
“I showed him how I rub lotion all over her arms and legs, massage and
manipulate them to keep the joints and tissues working. I thought he'd balk when I suggested he assist but I was wrong! I saw a side of Will I'd never seen before. He was gentle and spoke so sweetly to her. If it's true, that she can feel and hear what is going on around her, she cannot be untouched by his
devotion.”
For all that her report sounded positive for his friend, Charles could not rest easy while his sister-in-law's life was still in the balance. Should she not
recover it wasn't likely that Will would ever be the same man. “What was he like afterward?”
“He's going to come every day, he said, in the afternoons so Lizzy isn't alone as much anymore.” The idea clearly thrilled her.
“Wonderful!” Charles said for his wife's sake. He wasn't as optimistic about Will.
He held out his arm, waiting for the touch of her fingers. It was the same hand she had used to strike him but this time she rested it lightly in his palm. He avoided her eyes, not wanting to see what she felt; her disgust and repugnance for him. Her body was light and pleasing in his arms, the scent of her as delicate as the blossoms intertwined with her hair. If he focussed on those flowers he could fool himself into believing her nearness meant nothing...
The music could not have been sweeter but made it impossible to remain invulnerable. The evening had only begun and the ache was nearly<
br />
unbearable. The dance over, they parted company, politely. He couldn't help himself and watched her disappear into the laughing crowd...
“Will? What are you doing up at this hour?” Georgiana's sleepy face peered at him from the kitchen doorway.
Will lifted a glass, half full of milk. “I was thirsty.” He didn't even try to make the answer sound convincing.
His sister pulled out a chair and sat down at the opposite end of the table. “You didn't say much after you saw her. How do you feel now?”
“I want to go back.” He raised his eyes to stare somewhere beyond Georgiana.
“Part of me is still there.” He felt a touch on his hand and brought his gaze back to her. “Help me, Georgie. Help me find a way to survive this. It's going to be so hard and I don't know if I can do it alone.”
“You aren't alone, Will,” she hurriedly assured him. “You have Jane and
Charles as well as me. Trust them, too. Lean on them when you need to.”
For a long moment he said nothing. Then, quickly, Will stood, drank the rest of the milk and squared his shoulders. Chin up, he smiled at his sister. “I have to work in the morning even if some people get to sleep in.”
She grabbed for his hand as he turned away. “Are you going to be okay?”
Uncertainty briefly clouded his expression before the more familiar look of assurance took its place. “I think I will.” He smiled at her again. “Have I thanked you yet?”
“No, but if you feel the need to thank me for putting you through all this torture I might just pack you off to a shrink first thing tomorrow.” The flippancy in her words contradicted the real concern on her face.
“Stop worrying,” he said in a quiet voice. “I promise I won't do anything melodramatic.”
Georgiana got up from her chair, stood close to her brother and patted his cheek. “I'll hold you to that.”
Chapter Six
Will Darcy wasn’t the easiest man to talk to at the best of times. Intelligent, aloof and fastidious about the company he kept, Charles Bingley often
wondered how they had become friends. He recalled their days at university where Will had been a natural choice when the pranksters had needed a victim.
He endured it all, not necessarily happily, but with dignity. Charles had soon outgrown the childish antics of his first year roommates, noticing that the more serious and studious Will Darcy was at the top of every class he took. Charles wanted to succeed and, not completely abandoning his entertainments, sought out Will’s company more often in an effort to emulate his achievements.
Their association was mutually beneficial. Charles often persuaded Will to participate in an organised social activity, to meet and mingle with fellow students to whom he’d not even nodded in the hallways. After two or three of these outings Charles understood his friend’s reluctance; the girls who
wouldn’t otherwise give him the time of day were suddenly very interested as soon as they heard his family was filthy rich. With this realisation he ceased pressuring Will to accompany him, although he continued to issue invitations.
Now that he needed to discuss Elizabeth’s condition in a more clinical, and legal, manner with Will, Charles resorted to his professional guise in order to obtain enough time for an audience with him.
“What do you need me to sign now, Charles? I don’t have much time. The
meeting with Watson has been moved up an hour so I can leave at two.” Will’s manner was brisk as usual.
“Then I’m glad I caught you. It’s Lizzy we need to talk about.”
“I’m sure Jane told you my plans. That’s where I’m going this afternoon. What needs to be said?”
Charles disliked being the bearer of bad tidings. “Jane, you know, is the eternal optimist. For some time now the doctors have not been. I won’t play games
with you, Will. Lizzy’s chances of emerging from this coma become smaller
with each passing day. Even if she does wake up, her condition is an unknown.
She suffered trauma to the skull and brain swelling which caused her to slip into the coma in the first place. There may be brain damage. Hell,
there is damage to the brain tissue, the scans have shown that. What effect it would have is not clear.”
“You’re a little ray of sunshine this morning,” said Will bitterly.
“I want you to know all the facts before you get your hopes too high.” Charles rested his elbows on the desk and leaned forward. “I’ve supported Jane through the last three months and it’s not been easy. She was devastated by her sister’s situation but refused to believe the worst the doctors predicted. She was near to what you might say is giving up, but others call facing reality, when your intervention infused her with new hope. Jane is fragile right now and I know you are not at your strongest, either. I’m not accustomed to being the
grounding rod for you, Will, but if I have to keep you from tipping over the edge I’d rather start now before you convince yourself Lizzy’s recovery is in your hands.” The way his friend looked away confirmed the accuracy of his
concern. “I’m not trying to dissuade you from helping, Will, just don’t fall into that easy trap of believing your involvement could be the difference. Lord knows I want Lizzy back with us just as much as anyone but not at the expense of my wife and my best friend.”
Will regarded him silently for a moment. Finally, he nodded and quietly said, “I understand, Charles, but I have one question for you. What would you do if it was Jane in that hospital bed instead of Lizzy?”
Will didn’t waste any time in setting up a routine with his visits to the hospital.
Not only did he show up punctually each day but he also began bringing
personal belongings that Jane provided from her sister’s items that were in storage. The hospital room was quickly being transformed from a cold,
dispassionate place to one filled with character and life. Stuffed animals, photos and favourite articles of clothing surrounded Elizabeth. Will sought out anything with the scent of honeysuckle, one day bringing in an armload of
candles and using his considerable influence to obtain permission to light them.
Jane was excited by all the changes. Each day she would find something new added and could hardly contain her enthusiasm when she spoke to her sister.
“Oh, Lizzy! Just look at all the flowers today! I admit I’m starting to feel a little envious. Charles is wonderful and sweet, and I’d never trade him in, but such attention that Will is lavishing on you is every woman’s dream.”
Even the nurses were impressed, and some moved, to see the young man’s
daily perseverance. It was a shame, many thought, that he received nothing in return.
For the first week Will had Georgiana’s support when he came home after each visit. Those first days were the most difficult for him, especially following Charles’ demoralising chat in his office. It was not in Will’s nature to accept a loss without having made an attempt to win, however. He was initially
surprised at his friend’s unusually detached view of the case but eventually understood that the same quality which made Charles an excellent corporate lawyer was being applied to protect his family and friend. Will was thankful for it, knowing that Charles would be available whenever he needed reminding of his place.
Georgiana was somewhat reluctant to return to Vancouver. Her practice, however, required her attention and she felt she was leaving her brother in good hands once more.
“I’ll call you every day,” she promised, hugging him as they said goodbye at the airport. “Will, take care of yourself. I made extra for dinner every day this week so there’s more in the freezer for you.” His laughter brought a big smile to her face. “Okay, so I’m becoming mom after all! Don’t laugh at me!”
“I’m not laughing at you,” he said, covering his mouth to stifle just that.
She swatted his shoulder. “If I miss you when I call, promise me you’ll
call back.”
“I will,” he said more seriously. “I promise.” He gave her a push toward the doors. “You’ll miss your flight.”
Georgiana obediently made her way to the exit, turning around to wave at him before she disappeared. He wasn’t completely healed but she would have to be content with leaving Will in a better state than she’d found him only seven days previously.
Three weeks passed quickly. Will’s days were full, scheduling meetings in the mornings and, when impossible to fit them all in, moving some to an evening hour. He refused to give up his afternoons. His time with Elizabeth was
precious but demanding. Research took on a whole new meaning as he sought
information to assist in his efforts to encourage a response from her. It was essential to maintain the pattern of his visits and so he maintained regular habits, his entrance to her room beginning with the lighting of a candle, closing the blinds to shut out the bright light that spilled in from the hall, before drawing a chair up beside the bed. There he would fill her in on the news of the day or share amusing memories from his own childhood while applying the
lotion as Jane taught him. Then he would simply read to her. It didn’t take long before he was able to tune out the noises from the equipment and just
concentrate on the one sound from the heart monitor. It was a slow, unchanging rhythm and the tempo of his recital kept pace.
At the end of his visit the candle was extinguished, leaving the room in
shadow, and for a few moments Will would sit quietly, studying Elizabeth’s face; the curve of her cheek, her lips slightly parted as they lay slack. His farewell was the same each day; soft caresses he placed upon her hand and
brow, an affirmation of his love for her, and then the promise to return the next day.
The overnight shift was not quiet throughout a hospital. Birth and death have no respect for civilisation’s clock. While the maternity floor might welcome new life and joyous parents, the intensive care unit more often called relatives in the small hours to hurry to a bedside before it was too late.
