It wasn’t unusual for his best friend to act a little hastily although, to be fair, she’d only run off because he had. As she’d put it, she wasn’t going to let him wander the world alone because he’d probably get stabbed or eaten by a dragon in about ten minutes. It would have been funny if her words hadn’t also been so accurate. As a war wizard, he was incredibly powerful. Apart from his Words – which were perfect for annihilating large groups or portions of the landscape – he knew plenty of generic magic as well. However, he was also a raccoon. Sure, raccoons from the empire were far smarter and hardier than their lesser kin, but he still couldn’t take anywhere near as much damage as a human or an elf, to say nothing of the absurd level of durability Susannah had. If someone stabbed her in the gut, she’d just laugh, yank out the knife, and stab them back. She could laugh off an injury like that. The odds were that her opponent couldn’t. And him? Roger would be dead.
He used a combination of sign language and raccoon speech to give his reply. Inwardly, he berated himself for forgetting to snatch a translation charm on his way out. He could have sworn he had one in the pockets of his robes, but he must have taken it out earlier. Susannah grinned and skipped over to the downed badger with a long stick she’d picked up earlier. A few pokes later, she was certain it was dead.
“Yeah, more planning would have been ideal, but I think we both know how it would have gone. If we’d stuck around any longer, the others would have noticed something was up and dragged us back. At least I managed to snag a proper quiver and my bow, along with some decent daggers and a glamour broach.”
Roger twitched. Mention of the broach only made him feel guiltier. Raccoons from the Raccoon Empire lived roughly as long as humans, and he was a solid eighteen years old. Susannah, though, was only sixteen, but the broach gave her the appearance of someone in her early twenties. He’d been sorely tempted to send her back. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to her, but the pragmatic part of him – the part that had helped him to become a fully qualified war wizard years before most of his kin – had calmly pointed out that despite being only sixteen, his best friend was more than capable of handling herself. If anything happened to her, the odds were also good that he’d be dead too, so he wouldn’t have to live with himself. Problem solved.
Huntresses from Susannah’s clan got the cloaks they were so famous for when they graduated from training and had completed a sufficient number of suitably difficult missions. Keeping in mind that even an apprentice from Susannah’s clan was one of the most dangerous things in the world on two legs, it was still rare for someone from the clan to earn their cloak before they were twenty-one. The very best managed it at eighteen. Susannah? She’d been fourteen when she’d gotten hers. It hadn’t been favouritism either. She was just that good. Indeed, were it not for her carefree and mischievous demeanour – so different from most of her kin – her clan would have considered her the ideal huntress. Instead, she was a headache: someone who was too talented to ignore but also too troublesome to work with. Well, Roger liked her just fine the way she was.
“So… did you have a plan?” Susannah asked. The dead badger had been menacing a local village for weeks, and the money they’d earn for killing it should keep them going for a while. It wasn’t what they’d get for killing a dragon, but it was a lot easier and way less likely to end in horrible, fiery death. Admittedly, he was fairly confident that Susannah could, with the right preparations and circumstances, kill a dragon, but he’d rather not risk it. Raccoons weren’t fireproof, and neither was she, even if she was far harder to burn than most people. “Because as fun as killing the occasional giant badger is, I really hope this isn’t all we’ll be doing for the next few years.”
Roger made a face. He hadn’t thought particularly far ahead. He’d wanted to see the world while continuing to increase his magical power and skill outside of the stuffy guidelines of his kin. Susannah’s clan had rules, sure, but his clan were even worse. They’d lost one particularly important political battle centuries ago, and they’d been forced to flee the empire. They’d never forgotten about it either, and they were obsessed with returning to the empire one day and reclaiming what they viewed as their rightful place. He scoffed. Who needed the empire? His clan was strong. With the help of Susannah’s clan who’d been their allies for almost as long as they’d been exiled, they’d seized their own territory. It was time to forget about the past and focus on the present. Never mind the empire. They had a new home now – a better home.
I was thinking we could become adventurers or mercenaries for a few years. That way we could see the world and grow stronger at the same time. It shouldn’t be too hard with the two of us.
A normal person would never have been able to understand him, but Susannah was fluent in raccoon. She could even do a decent impression of speaking it too. It was what happened when someone spent most of her formative years around a raccoon. Indeed, some of his earliest memories were of curling up to her when she’d been little more than a toddler. She’d loved to bury her face in his soft fur, something she still did when she slept. In fairness, most of her clan was fluent in raccoon since their two clans were close allies. Indeed, they shared most of their settlements with each other.
“Not bad. It’s a little light on details, but I think we can make it work.” Susannah struck a pose and gazed off into the distance. She looked quite heroic – or she would have if she hadn’t been standing on top of the smoking corpse of a giant badger. “It’s like a story out of the legends: a young heroine wandering the world in search of evil to slay with the help of her loyal pet raccoon.”
I am not your pet raccoon. Roger puffed out his chest. If anything, you’re my pet human.
“Eh, close enough. You’re my faithful sidekick, and you’re a raccoon.” She smirked and raised her stick. A use of [Slice] allowed the stick to cut through the badger’s front-right paw like paper. “Let’s go collect our reward money.” He nodded and hopped onto her back. “Really? You want me to carry you around?”
You’ve got longer legs than me, and it’s a long way back. Besides, you said I’m your pet raccoon, didn’t you? That means you have to carry me back.
“Aren’t you a lazy raccoon?” She grinned. “Fine.” With a smile on her lips, she burst into motion, leaping from tree branch to tree branch as she decided to take the high way through the forest. Roger clung on tightly. He didn’t mind walking, but there was no way he could keep up if Susannah decided to move at anything close to her full speed. It made him wonder what her grandfather would think. He’d probably say she was being weird and point out that werewolves were not meant to run around in trees. Of course, despite being her grandfather’s favourite grandchild, Susannah wasn’t actually a werewolf, not that Roger was game to point that out. Given who her grandfather was, disagreeing with him was probably not a good idea, even for a war wizard.
To Roger’s relief, finding mercenary work wasn’t difficult. Sure, he was a raccoon, but most mercenaries weren’t spoiled for choice. He was a war wizard, and normally, only the most elite mercenaries could expect a war wizard’s assistance. Once people saw what he could do, they were usually practical enough to hire him since a war wizard was a great way to even the odds – or tip them in their favour. For people who were usually considered disposable by their employers, having someone around who could cow most of their enemies into submission was a welcome change. Besides, him being a raccoon ceased to matter once magic started getting thrown around.
Likewise, no one was going to complain about Susannah. In a clan of people whose archery was respected by even the elves, Susannah was one of the best. Throw in how good she was at sneaking around, along with all of the other abilities she’d honed during her training, and it was no wonder people thought she’d devoted herself entirely to the bow and stealth. If only they knew the truth. The bow wasn’t her favourite weapon, or even her best one. She was better with a sword, and she’d only become so stealthy be
cause she had hated losing at hide and seek as a child. Her preferred method of fighting was actually to kick down doors and wade through the broken, mangled bodies of her enemies.
Of course, not every mission with mercenaries went well. There was a reason so few people trusted them and why so many of them had such short lifespans.
* * *
“So… let me get this straight. You’re double crossing us?” Susannah rolled her eyes and glanced back at Roger, very deliberately turning her back on the mercenaries they’d only joined a few days ago. “That’s what, the third time this has happened this month?”
Roger gave a low growl. It was actually the fourth time this month – a new and somewhat unwelcome record. After initially running into mercenaries with a reasonable sense of honour, they’d run into four bad groups in a row. Of course, turning her back on their opponents wasn’t an empty gesture. Susannah wasn’t stupid. It blocked their view of him and let her palm a pair of throwing knives without anyone noticing.
“You’re not in on this, are you, Ethan?” Susannah asked. Ethan was standing several steps behind Roger and looking very much like he was about to throw up. He was a young lad, only fifteen, and he’d joined up around the same time they had. As far as Roger could tell, he was a decent sort who’d only joined up because he was an orphan in dire need of coin and a place to stay.
The teenager shook his head. Unlike the others, he had a very good pair of eyes. He’d noticed how much Roger and Susannah held back when they fought, and he wanted no part in this folly. “No, ma’am.”
“Good because you seem like a decent kid. It’d be a shame to kill you.”
“That’s okay. It’d be a shame to die.”
“Then stay right there. This’ll be over soon.”
The leader of the group laughed. “What? Do you really think you can fight us all off at the same –”
Susannah turned and flicked her wrists. The leader and his second-in-command both dropped with knives lodged in their eyes. A split-second later, Roger unleashed the magic he’d been gathering. Words were great, and he preferred to use them when things got serious due to their power and efficiency. However, they could be ‘heard’ whenever they were used unless special measures were taken. Generic magic was harder to learn and less efficient, but it couldn’t be ‘heard’ like Words could. As Susannah stepped to one side, he thrust his paws forward. A shockwave of raw force hurled the mercenaries back. The luckier ones were killed outright, smashed against the trees behind them. The less lucky ones were left wounded but alive, at least until Susannah picked up a handful of pebbles.
“You know,” she drawled as she juggled the pebbles and smiled a very not-nice smile. “You should have honoured the deal. We could have all walked away from this richer. Oh well.” She tossed the pebbles. “[Pierce].” With how powerful her use of the Word was she might as well have been firing ballista bolts.
Once the mercenaries had stopped moving, Roger hopped over to go through their pockets. He wasn’t going to feel the least bit bad about killing and robbing people who had planned to betray and murder them. He frowned. One of them was trying to crawl away – he must have used a Word of his own to help him heal – but another pebble through his skull put an end to his escape attempt. Ethan, meanwhile, was trembling like a leaf and eyeing the carnage in complete disbelief.
“Maybe we should give monster hunting a try?” Susannah suggested. “I mean… it’s basically what my clan does for a living, and it’s not like we can get betrayed if it’s just the two of us, right?” She paused dramatically. “Unless… I’m the one betraying you.”
Roger rolled his eyes. And then who’d put up with you?
“I’ll have you know that I am very charming.” Susannah rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “At least, that’s what grandpa always says although I guess he might be biased.” She glanced over at Ethan. The boy had yet to move from his spot. She tossed him a pouch of coins she’d pilfered from one of the dead mercenaries. “This is for being a decent person and not trying to betray us. You should probably head off and find another group, maybe even join the town guard or something.” She paused and her voice softened. Roger sighed. She wasn’t as ruthless as she liked to believe sometimes. “Look, Ethan, go back to the town we just left. Ask Old Micah to help you find a group. Tell him we sent you. We’ve worked with him before. He’s a bit long in the tooth, but he’s a good guy. He’ll get you sorted.”
“Thank you.” Ethan nodded stiffly and then ran off.
I think you’re right. Your grandpa is pretty biased. He’s also crazy.
“Have you ever said that to his face?”
Are you kidding? I enjoy living. Roger hopped over one corpse and then rolled one of the others over with a grunt of effort. He grinned. This one had some nice protective charms he could ‘borrow’. They’d been completely overwhelmed by Susannah’s attack, but he could fix them up with a bit of hard work. But we can give monster hunting a try. It can’t be any worse than this. At the very least, the pay should be better, and giant monsters are perfect for practicing Words and generic magic on.
* * *
Roger sighed as he dangled over the water. When Susannah had explained her ‘brilliant’ plan to lure the lake monster out into the open, she had somehow omitted one small but incredibly important detail.
“Here, fishy, fishy,” Susannah chanted. “Here, fishy, fishy.”
Roger glared. Sadly, he had yet to master the noble art of shooting lightning from his eyes although he had learned how to shoot it from his tail and there were records suggesting it was possible. He’d just have to keep practicing until he could pull it off, and if Susannah happened to get zapped, well, sometimes the gods were just. Besides, it’s not like a little bit of lightning would actually kill her.
“Oh, don’t give me that look,” Susannah teased as she lowered him just enough for his paws to touch the water. “I told you we needed to lure it out into the open, and how else were we supposed to do it without using bait?”
Why do I have to be the bait? Why can’t you be the bait?
“While I would be happy to take your place, it wouldn’t work. You’re not strong enough to hang me off a fishing rod, and I’m too big to fit on one anyway. You, however, can be dangled off a fishing rod, and I am more than strong enough to pull you out of the way when our target shows up.” Susannah cackled. “Now, come on. You have to splash around more. You’re supposed to be a wounded animal just waiting to be devoured.”
Roger huffed and started to splash around as Susannah tossed more blood and guts from the fish they’d caught earlier into the lake. At least his robes were designed to stay dry and clean. It would have been a huge hassle getting blood out of them, which was probably why Susannah’s clan favoured the colour red. They had an alarming tendency to get doused in buckets of blood although most of it wasn’t their own. His robes also had plenty of protective magic woven into them. He’d never be as durable as his friend – he sometimes wondered if anything could kill her – but his robes made him passably tough.
Fine, but if it doesn’t show up in an hour, we’re switching places. I’ll make a mud golem or something.
“Hah!” Susannah laughed. “If it’s not here in the next thirty minutes, we’ll switch.” She tossed another bucketful of guts into the water with obvious glee. “My grandma taught me this technique. It’s an ancient secret that has been passed down from generation to generation. If it can lure a giant shark out of the ocean depths, it can lure out some random lake monster. And with you splashing around, there’s no way it can fail.”
Roger knew about that shark. He’d seen its jaws. Susannah’s grandmother had always grumbled about how she’d thought it would be bigger despite it being large enough to swallow a whale whole. Honestly, some huntresses had no common sense at all. Oh well. He needed to stay focused. Raccoons were not exactly known for their aquatic prowess. If he fell into the lake, he was as good as dead, but he wasn’t too worried. As keen as hi
s senses were, Susannah’s were even keener. She would notice the lake monster long before he did, a testament to her clan’s unique gifts and her grandfather’s power. He was confident she’d get him safely out of harm’s way. With little else to do except dangle there and splash around, he decided to mentally review everything they knew about the lake monster.
Supposedly, the lake monster resembled a sea serpent in size and general shape, but sea serpents were only found in saltwater. A few could live in fresh water or brackish water for a time, but none could do so for long. The creature also boasted exceptional power and durability since it had apparently bested several monster hunters, some of whom Roger personally knew to be competent. In those battles, it had also shown the ability to unleash blasts of water at pressures and speeds high enough to carve through trees and stone. Based on that little bit of information, Susannah suspected they were dealing with a freshwater leviathan. Such monsters lacked the sheer size and overwhelming might of their saltwater kin, but they were still far more dangerous than any mere sea serpent. Well, it shouldn’t be much longer before they found out –
Roger gave a strangled squawk as Susannah hoisted him up and back, effortlessly flicking him off the end of the elf-made fishing rod at the perfect time to let him land on his feet. Roger patted his robes down before checking to make sure his hat was in place. Good. It would be annoying if he’d lost it. It wasn’t like he could go home and get another one. Sadly, the same could not be said about Susannah’s hat. A hydra had eaten it during their last mission although she had gotten the last laugh. That hydra’s heads were now adorning the walls of a very wealthy nobleman.
Attempted Adventuring (The Attempted Vampirism Series Book 2) Page 19
