by Jason Ball
From my adopted father, the Emperor Antoninus Pius, I learned to stick to the decisions I made. He helped me become compassionate and to ignore praise. I admired his work ethic and the way he stuck at his tasks. He was always willing to listen when it came to anything that was for the good of society. I learned that rewards should be in proportion to merit. He knew when to be strict and when to chill out (also when to keep it in his pants).
Antoninus also understood that his friends had their own lives and didn’t try to dominate their time. He gave every question that came to him careful and deliberate thought (and never dismissed anything on his initial gut feel and assumptions). His friendships were long lasting – simple, honest and without show. In everything he did, he considered the details, understood the possible consequences and worked to determine the best solution. And he cared for the empire with careful planning and by avoiding waste.
He wasn’t superstitious about gods and he didn’t suck up to other people. He knew that it was better to demonstrate self-control and was suspicious of admiring something new just because it was new. What’s more, he wasn’t bothered whether people looked up to him or not and, while he enjoyed the benefits of being wealthy, he didn’t chase wealth for its own sake and was just as happy in modest surroundings.
He didn’t shoot his mouth off about this or that. He didn’t nitpick everything others said or did. He certainly respected those who were knowledgeable and wanted to learn, though he didn’t talk down to those who didn’t.
From him, I learned to take care of my body without obsessing over how I look. He taught me to relax, to avoid jealousy and to be quick to recognise others’ achievements (whatever they are). And when he did get sick, he’d soon get back to work afterwards (if anything, with more energy and purpose than before).
Antoninus didn’t keep many secrets – and most of those he did were to do with matters of state. He wasn’t big into grand gestures. He was always more focused on what was necessary to achieve a public good than what would look good in the eyes of others. He didn’t sneak off to the baths when people needed him and was content with whatever food he ate or clothes he wore.
One example that sums him up was how he treated a tax collector who targeted him by mistake. He didn’t get angry or lose it. It was more his style to weigh up the pros and cons – without either rushing or hesitating. He’d make decisions calmly and consistently but also with certainty and with fairness.
Ultimately, he was equally able to enjoy or deny himself all the stuff and nonsense that makes so many people crazy.
If there are gods, I should thank them for giving me good grandparents and parents, a good sister, good teachers, companions and friends (well, good for the most part anyway). I’m thankful I never fell out with my friends despite being the sort that might well do so if circumstances went a certain way.
I’m also thankful that I didn’t have sex too early or feel the need to prove I was a ‘real man’.
I had a father who helped me avoid being too arrogant and showed me that I didn’t need all the masses of stuff, legions of people or empty luxuries to live a good life. He taught me I could live like pretty much anyone else and still be able to lead my people.
I had a brother, Lucius, who challenged me to maintain my self-discipline and whose affection I found so disarming.
I was also fortunate to have children who were smart and healthy. I was fortunate too to be merely average at things such as rhetoric, poetry and other studies that could have easily consumed all my time if I hadn’t found them so tricky. Freed from trying to perfect these things, I could promote my teachers to the positions they deserved without worrying that they were too young or else putting it off and promising them rewards at some later date.
I’m thankful that I met Apollonius, Rusticus and Maximus. They gave me a true picture of how to live a rich inner existence. It meant that I had no excuse for leading anything other than my best life. I may not be there yet, but that’s solely down to me.
I feel blessed that my body has stood up to everything I’ve put it through. I’m glad I never hooked up with Benedicta or Theodotus and feel lucky that I escaped from other infatuations unscathed.
I’m thankful that, though Rusticus and I argued on many occasions, I never did anything so dumb that I’d regret it later. I’m also grateful that I got to spend so much time with my mum in the final years before her early death.
I’m lucky that whenever I found someone in need that I wanted to help, I was never told I couldn’t afford it. Fortunately, I was also never in a position to need such help myself.
I am so thankful to have found my wife – someone so loving, kind and unpretentious.
I’m glad I attracted great teachers for my kids.
Finally, I’m grateful that for all my love of philosophy, I didn’t end up learning from some hair-splitting pedant or wasting my time reading pointless theory.
For all this, I am truly thankful.
INDEX OF MAIN THEMES
When you lose it and get angry
Book 2 – meditations 1 & 10
Book 4 – meditations 7, 26 & 28
Book 5 – meditations 25 & 28
Book 6 – meditations 6, 20, 26, 27 & 41
Book 7 – meditations 22, 24, 26 & 65
Book 8 – meditations 4 & 8
Book 9 – meditations 24 & 42
Book 10 – meditations 25 & 30
Book 11 – meditations 13 & 18
Book 12 – meditations 16, 19 & 26
When you want to be and do good
Book 4 – meditations 10, 17, 18, 22 & 25
Book 5 – meditation 31
Book 6 – meditations 7, 30 & 45
Book 7 – meditations 15, 44, 52, 53 & 69
Book 8 – meditations 1, 5 & 22
Book 9 – meditations 16 & 31
Book 10 – meditations 1, 8, 16 & 32
Book 11 – meditations 21 & 26
Book 12 – meditations 17 & 29
When you want to be more disciplined
Book 3 – meditation 8
Book 6 – meditation 22
Book 8 – meditation 19
Book 9 – meditation 12
Book 10 – meditation 3
When you’re tempted by fame
Book 4 – meditations 16, 19, 33 & 35
Book 6 – meditation 18
Book 7 – meditations 21, 34, 36 & 62
Book 8 – meditations 1, 3, 21 & 25
Book 9 – meditations 27, 29 & 30
Book 10 – meditations 8, 13, 34 & 36
Book 12 – meditation 27
When you know you need to be honest
Book 4 – meditation 33
Book 10 – meditation 32
Book 11 – meditation 15
Book 12 – meditations 17 & 29
When you’re tempted to blame someone or something
Book 8 – meditations 14 & 17
Book 9 – meditations 18, 22, 27 & 38
Book 10 – meditations 4, 10, 13, 19, 30 & 37
Book 11 – meditation 18
Book 12 – meditations 12 & 16
When you need to handle confrontation
Book 5 – meditations 22 & 28
Book 6 – meditations 6 & 27
Book 7 – meditation 26
Book 8 – meditation 17
Book 9 – meditations 11 & 42
Book 10 – meditation 4
Book 11 – meditation 18
Book 12 – meditation 16
When you’re struggling to deal with change
Book 2 – meditation 3
Book 4 – meditations 1, 3, 23, 42, 43, 45, 46 & 49
Book 5 – meditation 23
Book 6 – meditations 15 & 37
Book 7 – meditations 18, 23, 25, 49 & 75
Book 8 – meditations 6 & 20
Book 9 – meditations 17, 21 & 35
Book 10 – meditations 7, 11 & 27
When you’re worried by the prospect of d
ying
Book 2 – meditations 2, 11, 12 & 12½
Book 3 – meditation 14
Book 4 – meditations 5, 37, 47, 48 & 50
Book 6 – meditations 2, 24, 28 & 56
Book 7 – meditations 6, 18, 23, 32, 35, 40, 44, 50, 51 & 56
Book 8 – meditations 25, 31 & 37
Book 9 – meditations 3, 21 & 33
Book 10 – meditations 29 & 36
Book 11 – meditations 3 & 34
Book 12 – meditations 7, 15, 23, 34, 35 & 36
When you want to be better at serving others
Book 3 – meditation 4
Book 4 – meditations 12 & 37
Book 5 – meditations 6 & 22
Book 6 – meditations 7, 45 & 54
Book 7 – meditations 5, 13, 31, 36, 73 & 74
Book 8 – meditation 23
Book 9 – meditations 9, 11 & 31
Book 11 – meditation 21
Book 12 – meditation 20
When you want to do without stuff
Book 2 – meditation 5
Book 3 – meditation 16
Book 4 – meditation 24
Book 5 – meditations 6 & 15
Book 6 – meditation 30
Book 7 – meditations 27, 31 & 52
Book 8 – meditation 1
Book 9 – meditations 2 & 29
Book 11 – meditations 22 & 28
Book 12 – meditations 2 & 27
When you want to glimpse the bigger universal picture
Book 4 – meditation 45
Book 5 – meditation 8
Book 6 – meditations 1, 36, 38 & 46
Book 7 – meditations 9, 48 & 75
Book 9 – meditations 1, 9, 11, 28, 29 & 35
Book 10 – meditations 5 & 26
When it doesn’t seem that fate is on your side
Book 3 – meditations 3 & 16
Book 4 – meditations 33 & 34
Book 5 – meditations 8 & 10
Book 6 – meditation 44
Book 7 – meditations 46 & 57
Book 8 – meditations 15 & 23
Book 10 – meditations 1, 6, 11 & 28
Book 11 – meditations 11 & 20
Book 12 – meditations 1, 32, 35 & 36
When you’re feeling lucky (or doomed)
Book 2 – meditation 3
Book 6 – meditations 10, 36 & 44
Book 7 – meditations 41 & 75
Book 8 – meditations 6, 7 & 23
Book 9 – meditations 1 & 35
Book 11 – meditation 6
Book 12 – meditations 14 & 24
When you need to focus
Book 2 – meditation 14
Book 3 – meditation 4
Book 4 – meditations 24 & 32
Book 6 – meditation 32
Book 7 – meditations 29 & 30
Book 8 – meditations 5, 22 & 44
When you want to cry freedom and do your own thing
Book 3 – meditations 6, 9, 11 & 12
Book 4 – meditations 3 & 46
Book 5 – meditations 10, 11, 19, 20, 29 & 34
Book 6 – meditations 8, 16, 42 & 51
Book 7 – meditations 2, 12, 14, 16, 20, 45, 54, 55, 67 & 68
Book 8 – meditations 3, 16, 28, 29, 32, 41, 47 & 48
Book 10 – meditations 3, 23, 24, 32 & 33
Book 11 – meditations 1, 9, 16, 18, 30 & 36
Book 12 – meditations 3, 8, 14 & 19
When you just need to hang in there
Book 2 – meditation 17
Book 4 – meditations 2, 7, 8 & 49
Book 5 – meditations 1, 9, 18, 20 & 25
Book 6 – meditations 2, 10, 11, 19, 22, 29, 30 & 33
Book 7 – meditations 33, 38, 51, 61, 64 & 70
Book 8 – meditations 12, 28, 36 & 46
Book 9 – meditation 41
Book 10 – meditations 3 & 31
When you’re taking things too much to heart
Book 2 – meditations 7 & 11
Book 3 – meditations 6 & 7
Book 4 – meditations 8 & 44
Book 5 – meditations 26, 35 & 36
Book 6 – meditations 32, 41 & 52
Book 7 – meditations 14, 31, 38, 43, 64 & 71
Book 8 – meditations 4 & 7
Book 9 – meditations 1, 31, 40 & 42
Book 10 – meditation 25
Book 11 – meditations 16 & 37
When you want to live in the here and now
Book 2 – meditation 14
Book 3 – meditation 10
Book 4 – meditation 48
Book 7 – meditations 8 & 69
Book 8 – meditations 5, 22, 36 & 44
Book 9 – meditation 29
Book 11 – meditation 7
Book 12 – meditation 26
When you need to keep it together
Book 7 – meditation 58
Book 8 – meditations 39 & 41
Book 9 – meditations 7, 26 & 42
Book 10 – meditation 31
Book 11 – meditation 19
Book 12 – meditation 19
When you need to make the right call
Book 3 – meditations 6, 9, 11, 13 & 15
Book 4 – meditations 11, 22 & 38
Book 5 – meditations 10, 11, 12, 19, 34 & 35
Book 6 – meditations 3, 8, 13, 17, 52 & 57
Book 7 – meditations 2, 4, 17, 44, 55, 68 & 72
Book 8 – meditations 7, 11, 13, 14, 28, 29, 38 & 49
Book 9 – meditations 7, 15, 18, 22, 25 & 34
Book 10 – meditations 18, 26 & 37
Book 11 – meditations 2, 10, 16, 17, 19, 23 & 37
Book 12 – meditations 8 & 18
When you’re drowning in self-pity
Book 4 – meditation 7
Book 5 – meditation 8
Book 7 – meditations 14, 58 & 70
Book 8 – meditations 9 & 18
Book 9 – meditation 41
Book 10 – meditations 3 & 28
When you want to connect with your fellow humans
Book 2 – meditation 1
Book 4 – meditations 4, 6, 26 & 29
Book 5 – meditations 20, 22, 28, 30,
Book 6 – meditations 12, 20, 27, 39, 50 & 53
Book 7 – meditations 13, 26, 30, 62 & 71
Book 8 – meditations 12, 17 & 34
Book 9 – meditations 3, 9, 11, 20, 22, 27 & 42
Book 10 – meditations 6, 30 & 36
Book 11 – meditations 1, 8, 13, 18 & 24
Book 12 – meditations 16, 20 & 30
When you need to re-engage your reason and rationality
Book 3 – meditations 9 & 11
Book 4 – meditations 12, 13, 16 & 30
Book 5 – meditations 14 & 32
Book 6 – meditations 14, 23, 26 & 30
Book 7 – meditations 17, 24, 53, 55 & 75
Book 8 – meditations 40 & 41
Book 9 – meditations 8, 10, 26 & 39
Book 10 – meditation 12
Book 12 – meditations 1 & 14
When you need to see reality for what it really is
Book 3 – meditation 11
Book 6 – meditation 31
Book 7 – meditations 15, 24 & 29
Book 9 – meditations 15, 25, 36 & 37
Book 10 – meditations 9, 18 & 35
Book 11 – meditations 2, 17 & 23
Book 12 – meditations 2, 8, 10, 18 & 29
When you know you need to take action
Book 2 – meditations 4 & 13
Book 6 – meditations 42, 50 & 51
Book 7 – meditations 12 & 55
Book 8 – meditation 2
Book 9 – meditations 5, 16 & 29
Book 10 – meditations 12 & 13
When your opinions are getting in the way of reality
Book 2 – meditations 13 & 15
Book 4 – meditations 3, 11 & 39
Book 6 – meditations 8 & 52
&nb
sp; Book 7 – meditations 2, 16 & 68
Book 8 – meditations 28 & 47
Book 9 – meditations 13, 15 & 42
Book 10 – meditation 3
Book 11 – meditations 16 & 18
Book 12 – meditations 8, 22, 25 & 26
When the shit hits the fan
Book 2 – meditation 1
Book 4 – meditations 6, 7, 8 & 49
Book 5 – meditations 18 & 20
Book 6 – meditations 11, 50 & 58
Book 7 – meditations 22 & 61
Book 8 – meditations 32, 33, 35, 46 & 50
Book 9 – meditations 27 & 41
Book 10 – meditations 19, 31, 33 & 35
Book 12 – meditation 22
