CHAPTER SEVEN
“So Ben.. tell me what happened the other night” Jay juggled with his mobile and his hot TV dinner as he spoke.
“Which night are you talking about?”
“Don’t play daft Ben.. Sunday.. You know.. the shenanigans with Lucy”
“Shenani what? ..I didn’t shenani her mate! ..But it’s all a bit embarrassing really.. You see.. she was playing with my knob under the table so I decided to give her the benefit of my luvvv..”
“But what about Chrissie? ..What do think she would say if she found out?”
“Chrissie and I are having a break.. Well.. we’ve actually broken up to be more precise.. I caught her chatting with this guy on the Internet.. you know.. intimately.. She denied everything of course.. but I couldn’t get my head round it.. so I asked her to move out a couple of weeks ago.. I suppose I was just drowning my sorrows on Sunday”
“Jesus Ben.. you can’t do that sort of thing in a public place!.. But I’m sorry to hear about Chrissie.. Are you alright? And why haven’t you said anything? And more’s the point.. why did Lucy bite you?”
“Crikey! Which of your twenty questions should I answer? ..Yeah.. I’m bearing up ok thanks.. and yes.. I miss Chrissie.. but it was probably more of a dependence thing than true love.. As they say.. you can take a horse to water but you can’t force it to drink.. that’s just the way it is.. I didn’t want to tell you guys coz you’d just take the piss”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence Ben!”
“You are very welcome! ..I really don’t know why Lucy bit me though.. Maybe she was just feeling guilty because she let go of her inhibitions”
“Maybe we ought to change your name to Nobby?”
“That would.. correctly speaking.. be knobber Jay.. Anyway.. Lucy was the knobee as she was the one getting knobbed.. you know.. it’s like payer and payee?..”
“Ok Ben.. I got it.. thanks”
“It’s all water under the bridge now.. and I definitely watered under her bridge I can tell you!”
“Jeez.. you are incorrigible Ben!”
“Uncorrugated? What? ..Anyway Jay.. change of topic.. how’d it go with your mystery woman?”
“Well.. we met up.. and we talked.. and we agreed to go out”
“Reeesult! ..Good on yer mate!”
“Well.. I wouldn’t exactly call it a result as such.. We haven’t actually agreed on a date yet.. it’s sort of work in progress.. Talking of which.. I’ve got to dash I’m afraid.. I’ve promised to call her”
“Ok mate.. Already got you under the thumb eh? ..Well give her one from me!”
“No.. I won’t be giving her one from you.. you disease-infested pervert!” replied Jay with a laugh in his voice “I may.. however.. convey your best regards.. Speak to you later Ben.. Ciao for now!”
“Disease-infested pervert? Charmed I’m sure! ..Yeah ok.. catch you later mate.. Have a good ‘un!”
Jay peeled the lid back on his microwave spaghetti carbonara, allowing the escaping steam to rise swiftly past his face. Jay started thinking through what he was going to say to Zulekha and where he would suggest they should meet up. He poured himself half a glass of red wine, even though it was a work-day, just to steady his nerves. The phone rang for what seemed like an age.
“Hallo?” A strong, authoritarian man’s voice resonated at the other end of the phone line, catching Jay by surprise.
“Hi.. err.. this is Jay.. I err.. I’d like to speak to..” Jay composed himself to make sure he pronounced her name properly “..to Zoo-leek-ha please”
“Okay.. One moment please”
Jay began to sweat a little, conscious of the man’s snigger as he left the phone. He heard talking in the background in what he presumed was Arabic.
“Hello? Who is it?”
“Hi Zulekha.. it’s Jay.. How’s things?”
“Hi Jay! I thought my dad said it was Jane” Zulekha laughed discreetly “I’m good thanks”
“Good.. I mean.. good to hear things are good.. not that I sound like Jane.. err..” Jay felt embarrassed but managed to gather himself “Does your dad really think I sound like a woman?.. Do you think I sound like a woman?”
“No.. no.. not at all! It was just my dad.. and somehow your name.. well.. it got lost in the translation I suppose.. Anyhow.. what do you want?”
“I’m fine thanks.. thanks for asking.. apart from my apparent need to take testosterone pills that is..” Jay laughed nervously “I err.. I just wanted to hear if..”
Zulekha interrupted before Jay could finish his sentence “It would only be a benefit if you were a woman.. That way we could go shopping together!” Zulekha chuckled down the phone.
“Touché mon brave, you win that one”
“Two what?”
“Oh. yeah.. sorry ..err.. touché.. it’s French.. spelt T-O-U-C-H-É M-O..”
“It means ’touch my man’ apparently” interjected Zulekha, her voice somewhat subdued.
“What?”
“I’ve just looked it up on the Internet.. and the translation engine comes up with ‘touch my man’! What sort of weirdo thing is that to say when you call someone?”
“No.. err.. no.. honestly!” Jay broke out into nervous laughter as his brain desperately battled to come up with a plausible explanation “Erm.. well, yes.. um, those online translation things are more trouble than they are worth really.. No.. you see ‘touché mon brave’ really means ‘you win a point’.. It comes from fencing.. you know.. err.. sword fighting.. where they use French a lot for some unknown reason.. but it quite literally means ‘you win that touch my noble friend’ ..or something along those lines”
There was a long silence. Jay decided to break the silence by saying something, anything “Erm.. I’m not making this any better am I? ..Does this make any sense to you at all? ..Are you still there?”
“Yes.. yes.. I’m still here but I’ve got to go and help with dinner”
“Ok.. listen.. Can I invite you out to Camden market on Sunday? ..For a bit of a walk around.. and a spot of lunch maybe?”
“I don’t know James.. Can I think about it?”
Jay felt as if he had blown it completely. At least now he had nothing else to lose.
“Zulekha? ..Seriously.. sorry about the misunderstanding with the touché thing.. I’m actually quite normal really.. I’m just a bit tense..”
“Ok”
“So.. about Sunday.. please think about it and let me know won’t you? You can even bring a chaperone if you want” Jay laughed quietly, although concerned about what she might reply.
“Well.. I’ve never been to Camden Market before.. and I suppose there are shops there.. right?”
“Yes.. there are.. Does that mean you will come?” Jay almost didn’t dare ask again. There was an even longer pause.
“Ok.. I’ll go”
“Really?..” Jay tried to hide the incredulity in his voice “..Err.. I mean.. Great! I’ll pick you up at 12.. ok?.. At your house?”
“Can’t we just meet up at Camden Market?”
“Well. yes.. I suppose we could.. apart from the fact that you’ve never been there..” Jay attempted to dampen any unintentional sarcasm in his reply.
“We can just meet up at Camden Town tube station?”
“Yes.. ok.. that’s fine. But please take your mobile with you so we can ring each other if we can’t find each other.. ok? I’ve got your number”
“Yes.. You’ve got my land-line number. But don’t worry.. I won’t get lost.. I’ll just stay in one place until you arrive.. by the ticket office.. Anyhow.. got to go.. I might text you my number later.. 12 noon Sunday.. right?”
“Yes.. Looking forward to it!”
“Bye Jay”
Zulekha’s voice disappeared. The silence fell like lead shutters. Jay was disappointed. Why had he made such a bad impression right from the start? Jay’s phone shook half an hour later. There was a text message from Zulekha containing her mobile phone number and the words “Lo
oking forward to Sunday. C u Zul”. A smile of relief crept over Jay’s face.
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The Emily Murray episode had persuaded Jay to look into other areas at work where some employees might be making dubious personal gains. Jay didn’t want to catch anyone out - quite the reverse - he just wanted something to break up the monotony of the CHAPS analysis. And maybe he could somehow warn would-be wrongdoers before they got caught.
The obvious starting point, he thought, would be in the area of employee expense claims. He decided to write a simple server-side script which would compare like with like; looking at the expense claims submitted by department employees with those submitted by employees from other departments and continuing on to compare managers with managers and so on. All he needed was an available server. Jay looked over his screen towards where Paul was sitting and asked if he could utilise a little of the spare capacity on Pauls’ test server. Paul replied that he could in his usual helpful, friendly manner and an hour later Jay’s script was ready for testing. Jay copied the files over to their shared drive and asked Paul to test.
“That’s impressive Jay! ..But what does it do if it gets a hit?”
“Oh.. you’ll know mate.. It’ll come up with big red letters.. You won’t miss it”
“Ok.. Can’t wait!” Paul’s look of anticipation brimmed out of his eyes “I’ll set the locks to allow you run privileges too.. ok?”
“That’ll be good.. Can you also make a scheduled task so it runs once a day at 2 am for example?”
“No probs Jay!” Pauls fingers flew across his keyboard at lightning speed “There. All done!”
“Perfect Paul.. perfect!”
Jay felt like he was actually enjoying work again.
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Jay checked his watch immediately on arrival at Camden Town tube station and placed himself in the ticket hall, gaining an overview of everything and everyone going in and out. The time was 11:51. A man wearing an American confederate jacket, crumpled top hat and long bother boots wafted past leaving a trace of questionably legal substances in the air behind him. He had more piercings in his face than Jay could count and he somehow reminded Jay of the Dr. Zeuss characters he had been forced to read as a child. Maybe this was the modern day pierced version? The ticket machines rattled away as crowds of people continued to flow through the tube station. A pair of familiar looking ponytails flashed past him. Jay jumped to readiness and instinctively tapped the girl on the shoulder without thinking.
“Hey.. Lucy?!”
Lucy looked very startled as she turned round. Jay could see from the expression on her face that she didn’t want to speak to him.
“Oh hi.. um.. Jay.. right?” Lucy’s voice even sounded reticent.
“Yes.. that’s right.. What brings you here? Do you live here or what?”
“No.. not really.. I.. um.. I go to art classes here on Sundays but um..”
“Oh really? What type of art? Oils.. water painting?”
“It’s a mixture of everything really.. Er look Jay.. I’ve.. um.. I’ve got to go I’m afraid.. I’m in a bit of a rush”
“Ok Lucy.. Well.. it was nice seeing you.. albeit fleetingly.. It all got a bit weird last time.. you know.. when we left.. I just hope you’re alright?”
Lucy looked annoyed.
“Why shouldn’t I be alright? What do you mean?”
“Erm, well.. nothing really.. It’s just that things ended so abruptly the other night that’s all.. I just..”
“Look Jay.. I’m no idiot.. and I’m sure your friend.. mister bloody Casanova dickhead has been bragging about his exploits to you all.. but it just makes me feel really stupid..” Lucy’s voice broke a little “..so I’d like to just forget about it.. ok?”
Tears started welling up in Lucy’s eyes. Jay placed his hand on her shoulder whilst he tried to think of something helpful to say.
“Look.. Lucy.. I don’t know what went on the other night.. none of us do.. apart from you and Ben.. and I’m sure none of us are particularly interested in finding out.. But what I will tell you is that.. that even the most beautiful diamonds are covered in dirt when they are found.. Nobody’s perfect.. I’m definitely not.. we all make mistakes” Jay produced a clean tissue from his pocket and offered it to Lucy ”..And I’m sure Ben feels just as bad about whatever’s happened as you do.. Believe it or not.. he’s actually a really nice guy”
Lucy took the tissue and wiped her nose “I can’t imagine that.. but I’m not going to find out.. Thank you for the tissue Jay.. and thank you for your kind words anyway”
“My pleasure Lucy.. Take care of yourself”
“Thanks.. you too” Lucy left hurriedly towards the escalator.
Zulekha arrived at the top of the escalator as Lucy walked away from Jay. She looked Lucy up and down as she disappeared down the escalator.
“Hi Zulekha! ..Good you found me so quickly.. and wonderful you could come!” Even Jay thought his greeting was a little too over the top.
“Yes.. and apparently good that I found you before you ran off with someone too I can see!” Zulekha wiped her nose with a tissue.
“What? Oh.. er.. no no.. That was just Lucy.. She’s just someone I met the other night.. Well actually.. no.. that didn’t sound good either.. no.. it was all a bit complicated you see.. She’s a friend of a friend.. Ben’s to be precise.. not really anything to do with me” Jay waved his hands from side to side to emphasise his point.
“Hmm..” Zulekha stared Jay straight in the eye “I hope for your sake that you’re not some kind of player James”
Jay laughed unconvincingly – the type of laugh people normally use when they’ve been caught out. The hole he was standing in seemed to be getting bigger and bigger. Jay turned to face Zulekha, taking her gently by the elbow and talked softly “Seriously Zulekha.. I just bumped in to her here ..seconds before you arrived!”
Zulekha could somehow see in Jay’s eyes that he was telling the truth.
“Come on Zulekha.. I’ll tell you about all of that later.. There is so much I want to show you and tell you about” Jay escorted Zulekha out of the tube station “Have you eaten by the way?”
“No.. not yet” replied Zulekha, shaking her head.
“Ok.. Let’s do something about that first” They turned right to go up the high street towards Camden Lock.
“Do you have a cold Zulekha?”
“No.. just a touch of hay fever. Well, I say ‘just’.. it’s actually a huge pain in the arse to be honest”
Jay was amused by Zulekha’s colourful language.
“That can’t be nice.. I’d better steer you clear of the flower stalls then”
“Thank you, err.. I think.. But I’m actually rather fond of flowers.. and please call me Zul.. I think Zulekha sounds.. well.. a bit clumsy”
“I disagree.. I think Zulekha sounds really nice..” Jay turned to face Zulekha “and it reflects the truth about the owner”
“Thank you Jay.. And, yes.. flattery will get you everywhere!”
“I will remember that” Jay thought for a moment “Can I call you Zu?”
“Zoo? Why zoo?” Zulekha squinted towards Jay.
“No.. not zoo.. zu.. as in zed yew.. oh.. never mind.. I’m sure we’ll work something out” Jay smiled at Zulekha.
“Ah! Yes.. Ok.. Yes.. Zu is fine I suppose” Zu smiled back as she took hold of Jay’s arm and they continued towards the Lock.
On arrival at the Lock they were immediately hit by a sea of colours, smells and noises. There were stalls selling cakes, t-shirts, old records and just about everything imaginable, if not entirely legal. Clear skies and bright sunshine shone down between the canvass roofs. Groups of people sat on loudly painted scooters, punctuating their meals with a sip of sangria or two. The canal stood resplendent in front of them. A long barge covered in hand painted red and black murals stood ready to be taken down to the next level of the lock. Jay led the way, veering to the left under an o
ld stone bridge, into a small square on the other side. They stopped in front of an Italian trattoria.
“Prego signorina! Jay gesticulated like an Italian waiter “I hope you like Italian food?”
“Oh.. yes! This looks very nice Jay.. Can we sit outside do you think?”
“That was the plan” Jay received a confirming nod from the waiter who stood alert by the doorway, ready to pounce on potential customers. The waiter directed them to a table overlooking the canal. The table, unlike all the others, was covered with a white tablecloth on which a single red rose lay. A bottle of Frascati sat in an ice bucket, dangling off the side of the table. Jay pulled Zu`s chair out and pushed it gently in again as she sat down. A family of exuberant, quacking ducks swam by. Jay took his place opposite Zu, handing her the rose.
“This is for you.. A rose for a rose”
“Thank you” Zu lifted the rose up to her nose “Mmm.. it smells so nice. This is such a lovely place Jay”
“Well.. I’m glad you like it.. Would you like some wine?” The cold water ran off the bottle as Jay retracted it from the bucket.
“Just a little please”
Jay poured the wine slowly, with the grace of a man perhaps a little too used to pouring wine.
“Cheers Zu!”
“Cheers Jay!”
Their glasses rang against each other as Jay made a toast “To us!”
“Just to be clear.. you do mean us.. individually right?” Zu looked at Jay with a sideways teasing slant and caught Jay’s raised eyebrows; he looked like a teacher about to reprimand a naughty child. Zu decided not to tease him anyway, preferring instead to soak up the atmosphere.
“To us!” replied Zu as the glasses resounded against each other once more.
“May I recommend the Gamba al Alio as a starter and the Vitello Milanese as the main course? ..That`s king prawns fried in garlic butter followed by spaghetti with veal and a meat sauce”
“Thanks Jay.. Yes.. that sounds good.. You know.. I haven’t been to an Italian restaurant before”
“Well.. that’s ok Zu.. There’s a first time for everything.” Jay reached over and rested his hand gently on Zu´s “Zu.. before you accuse me of being under the influence of the wine or anything.. I just want to say..” Jay wiped the side of his mouth with his napkin “I just want to say that.. no matter what happens.. I have decided I am going to cherish every moment I can get with you.. And yes.. before you say anything.. I am also aware of the fact that I am now sounding very needy indeed.. Well.. the truth is.. I am!” Jay raised his eyes to check for any reaction from Zu “I mean.. not needy as in.. I need a girlfriend.. no.. needy as in I need you.. And if all of this makes no sense whatsoever.. or if I am now frightening you off.. I apologise.. from the bottom of my heart” Jay squeezed Zu’s hand lightly “I am just so happy.. to finally be able to talk to you”
Zu´s eyes focussed on Jay´s as she smiled back. Jay did not understand the disconcerting silence - a silence which seemed to last an eternity. Zu looked down at the table and shook her head gently from side to side. Jay tried not to read too much into her movements. Zu looked up, staring straight into Jay’s eyes. She smiled and stroked Jay’s cheek with her hand.
“You know.. do you know what your biggest problem is Jay?”
“No.. What?”
“You think too much” Zu lay her hand down on top of Jay’s and stroked his hand.
They dined and immersed themselves in each other’s life stories with tales of family, friends, work gossip and personal aspirations flying across the table in both directions until they moved inside to gain some warmth. Jay ordered Tiramisu for dessert which they ate over a period of a couple of hours, by which time the restaurant was empty and their cappuccino cups spent. Jay rewarded the waiter generously for his patience as they left the restaurant.
Zu held on to Jay’s arm, not because of etiquette, but because she wanted to; he exuded a warmth she wanted to get closer to. They sat on a low wall by the lock, watching moon reflections dance on the rippling water.
“It´s strange really.. This reminds me a little of my childhood in Baghdad”
“Why’s that?” asked Jay.
“I remember going down to watch the boats with my friend Jasmine when we were little.. It was so peaceful.. and magical.. Just like now.. very tranquil”
“I thought Baghdad was a dry, arid place.. Isn’t it in the middle of the desert?”
“It has the Tigris running through it.. Baghdad is.. was.. a beautiful place.. at least from what I remember.. but maybe it’s just a case of the past looking better with the benefit of time”
“Hmm.. Yes.. that can happen.. So you come from Iraq?”
“Yes.. via Denmark.. Denmark offered us asylum because of the troubles when I was about ten years old” There was a catch in Zu’s voice as she spoke “But I still remember so many things from Iraq.. so clearly.. so vividly.. I still consider myself Iraqi in a lot of ways”
“Sounds like you miss it”
“I do.. in a way.. but I also know that nothing will ever be the same.. even if I were to go back there”
“Maybe it’s best to keep hold of the positive memories?.. You are lucky you have those at least.. I don´t always look back on my childhood with rose coloured glasses”
“Why not?”
“Well.. it probably started when my parents got divorced.. but I’m not going to bore you with that”
“No.. please tell me Jay.. I’d like to hear about it”
“Well.. It was probably for the best.. I think my parents would’ve probably ended up killing each other otherwise” Jay changed the subject anyway, feeling it was too heavy for the occasion “So what did your parents do in Iraq?”
“My mum stayed at home and looked after us.. we were quite well off really.. My dad was a senior consultant at one of the main hospitals in Baghdad” Zu threw some crumbs down to a gathering of wishful, moonlighting ducks “When the troubles started.. they expected everyone to take sides.. But my dad wouldn’t do that.. being a doctor.. he always wanted to remain impartial.. so some people decided that they didn’t like his ‘attitude’.. He started to get lots of death threats and problems with various groups.. He was arrested loads of times and many of his colleagues were tortured.. some just disappeared.. Looking back on it.. we were lucky to get out when we did”
“Do you still have family there?”
“Yes.. but that’s all a bit strange now.. I get the feeling that some of our uncles and aunties see us as traitors because we left.. and their lives have changed a lot too.. I have cousins who I have never met.. and I don´t know if I will ever meet them.. It´s too dangerous to go back”
“Do you want to go back?”
“Yes.. one day.. I’ll go back one day.. but not permanently.. just a visit.. I think I´ve changed a lot too.. and I´m not sure I´d fit in now”
“I´d like to see Iraq.. and where you grew up.. Maybe we could go there together?” Jay nudged Zu with his shoulder and put his arm around her.
“Yes.. why not Jay? We could go there on our second date” Zu´s sarcasm had apparently not totally disappeared.
Jay seized the moment and drew Zu towards him, kissing her softly on the lips. Zu pulled him closer to her and reciprocated. They kissed gently, like entwined willow trees by the water. A few minutes passed before they sat holding hands and looked out over the dark water.
“I think I´d better go home now Jay”
“Why Zu? The night is still young!”
“I´ve got some Uni stuff to do”
“Hmm.. Can I at least take you home then?”
“No.. that’s ok.. Let’s just say our goodbyes at the station”
“Ok.. Can I at least call you later then ..to make sure you got home alright?
“Yes ok.. You are such a worrier!”
They walked hand in hand back to Camden tube station, kissing intermittently along the way. Neither wanted to be the first to let go at the tube station.
&
nbsp; “Are you sure I can´t escort you home Zu? I’ll worry about you”
“No.. it´s fine.. really.. It´s not that late.. Besides.. this time I actually know the way!”
Jay followed Zu down to her platform where they hugged and kissed until Zu’s train arrived.
“Well.. “ Zu pulled Jay close to her “Thank you for a wonderful day Jay” Zu kissed him on the lips.
“Thank you too.. The pleasure was all mine Zu” Jay kissed Zu and hugged her tightly “And I will call you later!”
They waved to each other as the train doors closed and the train moved out.
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Barely an hour had passed before they were talking to each other on the phone, exchanging more life stories. Zu told of how she had lived in the Yarmouk area of Baghdad before they were evacuated. Jay told of his early childhood in Bedford followed by his parent´s divorce and his subsequent move to Swansea with his mother and sister, and how his mother now lives with her new partner, Trevor. Zu continued with the story of how her family had lived in Denmark for six years, after they had been granted political asylum from Iraq. Her family had been incarcerated in an immigration centre in the middle of nowhere for six months. But they were grateful that they had somewhere to live, and they were safe. They were later moved to a ghetto to the west of Aarhus in Jutland. Zu still had good friends there, which was why she had gone on holiday to Norway - to meet up with them. Jay recited university stories from the time when he read computer science in Southampton, together with Steve and Ben. Zu reciprocated by explaining why her family had decided to move to the UK.
By 1 am neither could stay awake any longer and they reluctantly said goodnight.
Jay lay in his bed, too mentally active to fall sleep. His mind began wandering. He imagined himself in Paris, walking hand in hand with Zu. They were standing by the Seine on a late summer evening as the sun began to set. A gathering of artists and booksellers stood by a bridge a hundred metres or so away, exchanging lazy banter. Jay pictured himself kneeling, holding Zu by the hand - and fell slowly to sleep.
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Jay texted Zu as soon as he got to work the next morning. He would have done so earlier but he didn’t want to wake her up too early.
‘Good morning Zu. Hope you slept well? What do you say to Thai food tonight & cinema afterwards? :-J xx’
Jay’s mobile buzzed on his desk a few seconds later.
‘Hello Thai food & hello cinema? :o) Z xx’
‘Very funny :) I’ll pick you up at 7pm then, ok?’
‘7pm is good. I´ll send my address in 2 mins!’
‘No need. Already got it! ;-)’
‘Of course you have! ;-) C u @ 7 Jameela :o) . Have a nice day! Z xx’
‘Thx. U 2! C U! Hugz :-J XX’
Jay spent the rest of the day worrying about what he would do if he met Zu’s parents that evening. Would they let him in the house? Should he buy something for her mother - some chocolates maybe? But she might be Muslim and what if chocolate wasn’t allowed under Islam? What would they think of him? What should he wear?
Jay’s worrying had reached astronomical levels by lunchtime, so much so that Paul asked if he was feeling ok. Jay replied by saying that the CHAPS case was turning out to be a bit challenging. By 3 pm Jay had turned into a walking bag of nerves, jelly on legs. He decided to go home and recover. Simon and Paul were ok about it and both expressed concerns about his health. Jay decided he would just be himself that evening, no matter what happened. He couldn’t change anything anyway. Besides, Zu’s parents would hopefully learn to accept him, maybe even like him.
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The name of Snow Page 11
