by Jiffy Kate
“Come in, Jude. Your sister is up to something, and I need you to distract her before I lose my damn mind.”
“Sure thing, Mom,” I say before kissing the top of her head. “How’s Dad?”
“Oh, he’s fine. He’s in the living room watching the game. I’m surprised you didn’t hear him cussing at the television from the driveway.”
As soon as I’m inside, my mom hurries off to the kitchen, and I head into the living room, where the television is loud, and the voices of my family members are even louder. Both my dad and Will are yelling at the referees on the screen, and Lucy is practically shouting into her cell phone at some poor soul. When she looks up and sees me, she quickly hangs up and greets me with a hug.
“I’m so happy you’re here, Jude! Mom kicked me out of the kitchen, and these two are driving me insane with their basketball nonsense.”
“Baby, it’s not nonsense,” Will corrects. “It’s the Mavs.”
“Hey, son. Good to see you.” My father stands, hugging me tightly, and I’m relieved that he still feels strong in my arms. There was a moment when he looked weak and frail when he was in the ER, and it really shook me up. “I want to talk to you about something, Jude. I need your help.”
“Sure, Dad. Whatever you need.”
He claps his hands together, and with an excited gleam in his eyes, he says, “I need you to hook me up with your bungee-jumping guy.”
“Oh, hell no,” my mother says, cutting him short. She’s standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. I can practically see the steam shooting out of her ears. “Keith David Harris, I forbid you to bungee jump or do any other foolish activity!”
My dad huffs. “Woman, you’re already making me eat rabbit food. You can’t tell me what I can and can’t do with my free time.”
“Like hell I can’t! Just because you passed the biggest fart this side of the Mississippi does not mean you’ve been given a new lease on life.” My mom glares at my dad, and I have a feeling this has been a common argument between them lately.
“You don’t get this worked up when Jude does his crazy shit,” he accuses.
She sighs, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m always worried about Jude when he goes on his adventures, but not once has he scared me the way you did the other night. I thought I was going to lose you, and I can’t go through that again!” Seeing my mom burst into tears catches everyone off guard. It’s just not something we’ve seen her do often, and it makes us all realize how upset she really is.
My dad immediately embraces her, trying to soothe her with soft words and gentle caresses. He leads her down the hall, leaving Lucy, Will, and me standing in the living room, bewildered.
“What the hell just happened?” Will asks, finally breaking the silence.
“I don’t know, man. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that kind of outburst from my parents,” I admit. They’ve always been affectionate with each other in front of us, but any less-than-perfect issues they’ve had in their relationship have always been handled behind the scenes.
“Well, I’m going to go check on them,” Lucy declares, quickly walking out of the room.
“Leave them be! They’ll be fine,” Will yells to his wife’s retreating form. Seeing that his words had no effect on her, he turns to me and asks, “Ready for a beer?”
“Hell yes,” I answer, slapping him on the shoulder and following him into the kitchen.
Just as I pop the top off my bottle, my sister rushes in with an annoyed expression on her face.
“What’s wrong? Are Mom and Dad okay?” I ask.
“Oh, yeah. They’re just fine,” she says in an exasperated tone, with a little huff at the end for good measure. “They’re currently screwing each other’s brains out in the bathroom!”
I don’t know why Lucy is so surprised. It’s not the first time our parents have excused themselves from a room for a quickie. “Well, at least they’re not yelling at each other.”
Lucy snorts. “Remember that time you had friends staying the night and one of them thought Mom and Dad were fighting in the middle of the night.”
“Yeah, he called his dad,” I add, the memory making me laugh. “Who was a cop.”
Lucy is now laying over the kitchen counter laughing. “Oh, God. I remember them showing up and banging on the door. Mom and Dad both came hurrying down the stairs half-dressed. The look on that cop’s face was priceless.”
“Y’all know this could be a while,” Will says, grabbing another beer. “I’m starving.”
“Yeah, let’s go ahead and fix our plates. I’m sure they won’t mind,” Lucy says, reaching up to kiss his cheek.
The three of us are seated at the table and about to start eating when our parents saunter into the kitchen. My mom’s hair looks like a rat’s nest, and my dad’s chest is puffed out like a fucking peacock. Neither one of them has the common decency to pretend to look ashamed either.
“Oh, I’m so glad you all went ahead and fixed your plates,” Mom tells us. “Keith, honey, are you ready for some chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes?”
So much for rabbit food.
Once everyone is settled and tucked into their food, the atmosphere is lighter. It feels the way our Sunday dinners felt before the infamous trip to the ER, and it’s a huge relief.
“Jude, dear, don’t forget to have your tux cleaned before the bachelor auction next week. I just know you’re going to bring in some big bucks for the charity Will and I are working with.”
Shit. I’d forgotten about the auction and that I’d promised Mom I’d volunteer. The idea of being back up on the block makes me nervous as fuck, I’m not gonna lie, but I can’t let Mom and Will down. Especially since she just broke down in the living room. Besides, how much harm can a little charity auction be? I’m sure it’ll just be a bunch of old women with big pocketbooks.
“No problem, Mom. I’ll be there.”
She smiles while reaching across to pat my hand. I smile back reassuringly, still trying to choke down the uneasy feeling I get when I think about it.
Lucy clears her throat and wipes her mouth with her napkin. I’d say she’s nervous by the way she’s fidgeting, but I can’t imagine what for. “Before we have dessert,” she says, pushing her chair back a little, “Will and I have an announcement to make.”
The two of them look at each other and smile before turning back to us and exclaiming, “We’re pregnant!”
Pandemonium erupts as my parents start jumping and squealing and crying along with my sister and her husband. I’m extremely happy for Lucy and Will. Thrilled, in fact, but I can’t help but be reminded of how I could’ve had a family of my own if everything had worked out the way I’d wanted.
The pain in my chest feels like I’m having a heart attack… or maybe it’s gas… or maybe it’s the fact that I still miss Quinn and Henry so fucking much it hurts.
Once all the hugs have been given and my mom breaks out champagne for everyone except Lucy, I decide now is as good a time as any to share my good news.
“Since we’re celebrating,” I say after taking a large gulp of the champagne, wishing it was whiskey, “I have a little announcement of my own.”
My mom tilts her head with a warm smile on her face. “What is it, honey?”
“I’m buying a house.”
“That’s great, Jude,” my dad says, reaching over and gripping my shoulder.
“Yep, put an offer on it a few days ago and just got a call that they accepted it.” A while back, I felt completely satisfied with my life, but Quinn helped me realize I want more. I want a house that will eventually feel like a home, and I want a family.
This is step one.
“Somewhere close?” my sister asks.
“Actually, it’s not far from here. Just a couple miles down the road.”
“Well, that’s wonderful, honey,” my mom says, tears springing up in her eyes again, and I’m glad they’re happy ones this time. The moisture in her eyes a
ctually travels down her cheek, and I think about getting up and going to her, but my dad’s there, pulling her into his chest.
“Sorry,” she says, her voice cracking. “It’s just one of the best feelings to have you all here today and with such exciting, wonderful news. I’m just… I’m so happy.”
My dad kisses her temple and rubs her shoulder.
I glance over at Lucy and Will, who are pretty much mimicking them.
I want that.
I want what they have.
And I’ll get it one of these days.
I’ve had a taste, and now I know I want it all.
Chapter 25
Jude
Staring at myself in the long mirror of the dressing room my mom put me in, I straighten my bow tie. The nerves I’ve had for the last week are present and accounted for, but I can’t turn back now. Besides, my mom would kill me if I decided to bolt. Plus, it’s for charity, so I’ll suck it up, walk out there, smile, turn, and hopefully bring in a little cash for a good cause.
Sebastian and Lexie are here tonight. They promised to bid on me if I’m met with crickets. I decided the only thing worse than being bought by a white-haired cougar would be to not be bid on at all.
A guy sticks his head in to tell me and another dude that we’ve got five minutes.
I really wish they wouldn’t do that. Something about it makes my palms sweat a little more and my heart beat a little faster. It’s like when you’re getting ready to jump out of a plane. It’s better to not think about it… no countdown… just walk out onto the bar, and you jump.
“Right this way, Mr. Harris,” the guy says, leading me to the opening in the curtain.
“Hey, baby.” My mom sneaks up beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
“Hey, Mom.” I hug her and take comfort in her being here. “I thought you’d be off… coordinating or whatever.”
She laughs and nudges me as we watch one of the other lucky bachelors strut around on the stage. “I just had to come back here and wish you good luck.”
“No worries,” I tell her with a wink. “I’ve done this before.”
She shakes her head and laughs. “You’ve always been my risk-taker,” she whispers, both of us still watching the stage. “I love that about you.”
“I’m sure it’s given you more gray hairs than you’d like to admit,” I tell her, laughing quietly.
“Eh, maybe, but it’s worth it.” She wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer. “There’s something I want you to promise me,” she whispers.
“What’s that?” I ask. She should know by now that I’d do just about anything for her.
“Promise me you’ll still jump… when the time comes… still jump.”
When I look down, she’s staring back at me with more sincerity than I know what to do with. We both know she’s not talking about an airplane or a bridge. I’m not sure what brought on this heart-to-heart, but it’s hitting me right in the gut for some reason. Trying to keep my emotions in check, I simply nod and kiss the top of her head.
“Next up,” the emcee says, “we have Jude Harris. He’s a graduate of Texas A&M University…” The rest of his words fall on deaf ears as I step out onto the stage. On the outside, I’m all smiles and head nods. Occasionally, I hear the crowd cheer, and I assume it’s the peanut gallery, also known as Sebastian, Lexie, Will, and Lucy.
“Take it off,” someone shouts from my left. Sebastian. There’re a few laughs from the audience, and several catcalls follow.
The emcee asks me to walk to the edge of the stage and turn to give the audience a good look at what they’re bidding on.
I really can’t believe I agreed to this. There’s a hum—an energy—that feels all too familiar and takes over the room. I lick my lips and let out a deep breath, trying to ready myself.
“Can I get one hundred dollars?” the emcee asks.
“One hundred,” a woman’s voice in the front row calls out. The lights are bright, but due to her proximity, I can see her perfectly curled blonde hair. She’s probably my mother’s age, and I can’t help but laugh. This is crazy. Not the craziest thing I’ve done, but still.
“Two hundred,” calls another mature-sounding voice from the middle of the crowd.
“Two fifty,” calls another from my right.
The fact that there are people bidding and they’re not my best friend or my sister has me shaking my head.
“Five hundred dollars,” calls a voice from the back.
I strain my eyes, shielding them from the lights to see better.
Swallowing hard, I try to keep it together. I’d know that voice anywhere.
“Five fifty,” the blonde in the front says.
“Six,” the familiar voice in the back calls.
“Seven,” the blonde retorts as she turns in her seat to see her competition, the tone of her voice taking on an offensive edge.
“One thousand dollars,” the voice in the back counters.
Gasps and whispers fill the room as everyone tries to see who’s doing the bidding.
“Do I hear one thousand fifty?” the emcee asks, pleasantly surprised at the money on the table. “One thousand fifty?” the emcee asks once more to the lady in the front row, giving her one last chance to bid, but I don’t hear her response.
My attention is focused on the back of the room as I watch a man go to the woman in red and take her out the side door. I look around and try to find a fast way off the stage. The guy who had been corralling us backstage walks up and directs me back to where I came from. I try to walk the other way, but he tightens his hold on my arm.
“I need to go to that woman… the one who bid on me,” I tell him, feeling somewhat out of breath. I’m not sure why, but I think I’ve been holding it since the five-hundred-dollar bid was called out. “I need to see her.”
“You will, Mr. Harris,” he assures me.
“No, now,” I insist, pulling my arm free. “Where did they take her?” I look around for the exit.
“Down the hall to the right,” he says, pointing over his shoulder with a puzzled look on his face. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah,” I tell him, practically shoving him out of my way. “It’s fine.”
It’s fine.
There’s that phrase again.
But somehow, with her in the room, it feels like it could be fine.
I don’t know why she’s here.
I don’t know why she bid on me.
But she’s here.
For me.
And I need to talk to her. I need to see her.
I run down the hall and turn the corner, colliding with brown hair and golden-brown eyes and a red dress that might kill me.
Bracing her and myself, I try to keep us both upright. My arms are wrapped around her shoulders and she laughs into my chest. “Sorry,” I say, backing up and giving her some space.
“I’m sorry,” she says, and it feels like it means more than this… her running into me, or maybe I ran into her.
Maybe we collided into each other, like a fucking free fall.
We stand there for a second, taking each other in, a hum in the air, like electricity flowing through currents. “Thank you,” I finally tell her, breaking the silence.
“For what?” she asks, her brows pulling together.
“For saving me from Blondie.”
“Oh,” she says, dropping her tone and her lids. “She had plans for you.” Her laugh takes me aback and sets me at ease all at the same time. I watch as she leans her shoulder against the wall. Her face slowly fades from a laugh to serious business. “Listen.” She pauses and looks down toward her feet. I follow her gaze and notice her sparkly red shoes. No combat boots. “I came here tonight because I need to talk to you.”
“You could’ve just called,” I tell her. “It’s a lot cheaper than bidding a thousand bucks on me.”
I say it like I’m teasing, but I’m serious.
She could’ve had me fo
r free from the beginning.
“I know.” She nods her head and swallows hard. “I just needed you to listen, and now you don’t have a choice, because technically, you’re mine for the rest of the evening.”
Trying not to let my hopes get too high, I nod. “I see.”
“It’s as if we’ve done this before.” She smiles, and I smile. And we both chuckle.
“So, now that you have me, what are you going to do with me?” I ask, cocking my head.
She purses her lips and I see a million emotions pass across her beautiful face. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.” I cross my arms over my chest and lean against the wall next to her. Here seems as good a place as any. My self-preservation is kicking in, and as much I’m happy to see her and as much as I want her, I want to hear what she has to say first before I’ll agree to anything else.
I’m not chasing.
But I’m not running either.
“Okay,” Quinn says, looking around, but the hallway is empty. It’s just the two of us. She lets out a deep breath, and I hate the pain that’s now in her eyes. “I don’t know where to start.” Her voice is suddenly small and thick with emotion. “But just know that I’m sorry. I know I said this the other night, but I want you to hear it while you’re sober.” She pauses, taking another deep breath and then releasing it.
“For what?” I ask, trying not to sound defensive but failing, because her just saying sorry isn’t good enough. I need answers.
“For everything. For being naïve. For shutting you out. For lying to myself.” There are tears in her eyes, and she bites down on her lip to keep from crying. “I’m also really sorry I took Henry away from you.” She sniffles and wipes away a tear with the back of her hand. “He really misses you… and Fergie.”
We stand there in silence for a few minutes.
“I have to know why, Quinn. Why couldn’t you just let me love you?”
She shakes her head, tears beginning to slip out of her big brown eyes and down her cheeks faster than she can keep up, but she doesn’t turn away or hide. “I was scared.” She shrugs as her lip quivers. “I’ve been scared for so long. After my dad died and my relationship with Daniel turned out like it did, I felt like I was better off not letting anyone else in. I don’t know why… I thought if I kept everyone at a distance and put armor around my heart, it wouldn’t get broken again. The beat-up bug… the combat boots… the club… they were all ways of not attaching myself to people. It worked for a while, but then you walked in, and it happened anyway. I got attached… and then I threw it all away.” The sob she lets out nearly severs me in two. “And I’m so fucking sorry.”
