“I don’t know.” She finally answered his half-spoken question. “I don’t know what I want right now.”
He withdrew slightly into the high back of the booth. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have put you on the spot.” He shook his head and dropped his eyes to the table.
The server brought their drinks, a reddish-brown tea that smelled like cinnamon and cloves for him, and a latte with a perfect golden-brown heart poured into the foam for her. How appropriate.
“I’m not saying no,” she mumbled.
“Can you tell I haven’t done this in a while?”
“Me either.” She nudged his foot under the table. His total lack of cool was endearing. She’d gotten so used to Jacob’s slick apologies for where he’d been and who he’d been with. She burned with embarrassment and rage when she thought about how often she had accepted his bullshit excuses. She set her mug down with slightly too much force, sloshing latte onto the table.
“You look like you want to smite someone, and I’m hoping to hell it isn’t me.”
“Sorry, not you. I promise.”
“Bad breakup?”
“Something like that.” She didn’t want to talk about it. The last thing she needed was to complain about her douchecanoe ex to a guy she maybe wanted to sleep with to help her forget that the last person who’d touched her had been touching every other suitable candidate in a three-state radius. But she owed him something in return for his honesty about why he’d left politics. “I needed a fresh start, and I’m glad I’m here, but it’s hard. I’m a little homesick. And angry. And that’s why I don’t know what I want right now.”
“You’ve been here for what, like two weeks? Give yourself a break. And feel free to pretend I never sort of propositioned you.”
Tessa laughed. “Thanks. I think that might actually be one of the highlights of the last few weeks, though. That and the stickers.”
“Stickers?”
Shit, now she had to explain. “Nancy got me custom planner stickers. I know that probably sounds like kindergarten gibberish, but it was incredibly thoughtful.”
“She’s a legend at gift-giving, and nearly impossible to buy for in return. But what are these stickers?”
She pulled them out and showed them to him, bracing for a snide remark about being childish.
“Those are adorable. They even kind of look like you.”
He…wasn’t making fun of her. Which meant all bets were off and Tessa could go down a rabbit hole if she wasn’t careful. “I know. You can have the designer change the hair and eye color to match yours.”
“That’s genius.”
“Right?” Holy shit, she was having a planner nerd conversation with a guy that didn’t involve ridicule.
“What system do you use?”
“I do a sort of modified bujo in a traveler’s notebook.” Holy fucking shit, he was one of them. “And you know what I’m talking about, so what do you do?”
“Basic bullets in a dot grid notebook. I don’t have as much stuff to keep track of anymore, but if I don’t write stuff down it basically doesn’t exist in my brain. My therapist recommended it, actually. Having a concrete list of tasks helps keep me from getting overwhelmed or getting bogged down by choice paralysis.”
“Me too.”
He smiled at her, a wide grin that split his beard. Discovering that he was a planner person tangled her decision-making process even more. She almost felt like she had to take him home, this unicorn of a man who didn’t tease her about her stickers and offered to help her make her way in her new job.
She half-stood and leaned over the table, planting her mouth on his. His mustache tickled her lips, soft and prickly at the same time. His beard smelled like cinnamon and his mouth was hot under hers. She told herself she should stop, but she wanted more.
“I think you should come home with me. You’re not allergic to cats, are you?”
3
Dear sweet Jesus, yes. Evan was probably going to live to regret it, but his dick won the argument with his heart. But first, he was going to need to find a pharmacy.
“So I feel like I’m adding to the list of reasons to change your mind, but yeah, I’m allergic to cats.” Anxiety disorder, acid reflux, allergies. He was a real winner in the genetic lottery. “We could go to my place?”
“I’d have to go home first. Ginsburg will claw my face off in my sleep if I don’t feed her soon.”
“Ginsburg as in Ruth Bader?”
She grinned sheepishly. “Yeah.”
This nerd was going to be the death of him. “Where do you live?” He pulled out his phone. He’d find somewhere nearby that would sell him allergy meds and condoms if his life depended on it. She named her address, a couple of blocks away.
“Fancy.” Apartments this close to the state house didn’t go for cheap.
“It’s a glorified closet, but it’s close.”
He knew exactly where they could stop between the café and her place. They’d probably still remember him from his days of stocking up on caffeine pills and ibuprofen ahead of all-night sessions. “So… Do you want to get out of here?”
She laughed. “Let’s finish our drinks.”
“Ginsburg won’t be mad?”
“I’m sure she already is.”
“She’s not used to your weird hours?”
“You’d think she would be, but alas, I’m pretty sure she thinks she owns me instead of the other way around.”
The air between them hummed with anticipation as they finished their drinks. Evan was nervous when they left, but in a way that felt good for once. He bought condoms, meds, and a bottle of water at the store while Tessa waited. He swallowed a pill, tucked the boxes into his coat pocket and punctuated the clang of the door with a kiss.
“Okay, I’m cat-proofed.”
She nodded once, like she was trying to convince herself that she was really doing this.
“Hey, if you changed your mind, I can go home.”
“No. I want to.” She kissed him again, her hands tugging on the lapels of his jacket, her cold nose pressing against his cheek. “I want you.” She released him and tugged his hand, leading him down the sidewalk.
There was an awkward moment of fumbling for keys at the bottom of her bag before they were inside her building and riding the tiny elevator to her ninth-floor apartment.
“Moving in here must have been a bitch.” Nice. Cool small talk, bro.
“I didn’t have that much stuff.”
They lapsed into silence as the elevator opened onto a narrow hallway with worn industrial carpet. Her door was chipped and scarred, flaking layers of paint revealing a progression of colors from black to brown to white and back again. Inside it was tiny, but warm and clean. Tessa peeled off her coat, hung it on the back of the door, and kicked her shoes onto a mat by the fridge. Evan followed suit.
A fuzzy, deeply dubious face watched them from the edge of the carpet. Tessa bent to scritch her ears, but the cat leaned away from her touch. “Fine, you furry little jerk.” She stood. “Sorry, I have to feed her or she’ll follow me around staring. Then she’ll start screaming. Um, make yourself comfortable?”
There was nowhere to sit except at her desk or on her bed. He’d come home with her under the assumption that they were heading for bed, but now that he was here, their momentum broken by allergies and condoms and cats, he wasn’t sure.
He was still standing awkwardly in the middle of the room with the box of condoms in his hand when she set the cat dish down and turned to him.
“Hey.”
“Hey.”
She planted her hands on his chest and kissed him, angling him toward her bed until the edge of her mattress took him out at the knees. He sat down hard, with Tessa in his lap. His hands traveled from her hips, to her waist, up the slope of her back to tangle in her hair, holding her lips to his while he explored her mouth. She spread her knees wider, resting more of her weight down onto his thighs as he cupped her face in one hand a
nd slid the other down over the soft fabric of her sweater to the swell of her breast. She whimpered slightly and ground her hips against him when he brushed his thumb over the fullest part of her.
“You like that?” She tipped her head back, exposing the column of her neck. He leaned in and slid his teeth down the fine, tender skin. She shuddered. “And that?”
“Yes.”
She pushed back, forcing him to lean on his elbows, spread out under her as she straddled him. She pulled her sweater over her head, slowly unbuttoned her shirt, parted the fabric to reveal her skin, the swells of her breasts rounding out the cups of her plain, nude-colored bra, the softness of her belly spilling slightly over the waist of her black pants.
“Do it again.”
* * *
Tessa’s ribs jumped with every pounding beat of her heart. Evan could probably see it if he looked too closely. Better to keep his eyes focused elsewhere. His elbows slid out from under him, leaving him flat on his back and reaching for her. She slapped his hands away.
“Wait.”
If her hands shook a bit more than necessary while she unhooked her bra, it was at least happening behind her back where he couldn’t see it. She needed to get this over with. She wanted Evan. He was comfortable, sweet, a good kisser. Watching his Adam’s apple bob as she slid the straps of her bra down her arms, pressing her breasts together, for a moment creating the cleavage she didn’t have, sent a thrill of power and longing up her spine. She wanted him, and she wanted this, and she wanted to get over the hurdle of sleeping with someone new.
She tossed her bra onto the floor behind her and let her breasts hang free. “Now touch me.”
She leaned forward, bringing her chest closer to his. His hand on her bare skin, with his big, slightly rough fingers, shocked her. His thumb swiped over her nipple, puckering the skin, leaving an aching sensitive point.
“How do you like to be touched?” His voice was breathy, like he couldn’t believe he had his hands on her, and it mattered to him that he got it right.
She placed her hand over his, guiding his fingers. “Gently at first.”
He followed her lead. Every squeeze, every brush of her nipples made her clit throb in response. She could do this. She could tell him, show him how she liked it, how she needed it.
“Good, now a bit harder. You can pinch a bit, and pull.” He took a nipple between his thumb and forefinger and tugged, the ache sweet and sharp flooding her belly with warmth. She ground her hips down against the erection that strained the front of his pants. “Good. Like that. Then you can put your mouth on me and suck.”
She held his head in her hands, threading her fingers through his shaggy hair as he took her nipple into his hot, wet mouth. His beard tickled her tender skin, but as he started to suck, to skim the barest edges of his teeth over her, the tickling was subsumed by the need pulsing through her. She wanted to feel him, wanted his naked skin against hers, wanted his cock inside her, wanted to tease and suck and fuck him and she wanted it all now.
“Stop.”
He let go immediately. “Is everything okay?”
She kissed his worried face, smoothing the crease in his forehead. “God, yes. Take off your clothes.”
He lay back on the bed, unbuttoning his flannel as he went. She threw him off track by palming his cock through his pants, thoroughly enjoying the way his hands stuttered and shook as she stroked him through the fabric barrier.
“Keep going,” she commanded as she took his belt in her hands, unbuckling him as he fumbled with his buttons.
“Yes, ma’am.”
A shiver ran up and down her spine. Oh yes, she liked that. “Say it again.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He grinned behind his beard, sitting half-way up to peel his shirt off and yank his undershirt over his head, baring his chest to her.
She trailed her fingers through the hair on his soft belly, up to his nipples, thumbing them the way he had hers, thrilling at his soft groan. She leaned over him, letting her breasts fall against his skin, the springy hair on his chest rough and soft and tickly all at once as she kissed him. He wrapped his warm, solid arms around her and held her tight to his chest.
She nipped his lip and climbed off his lap. “Take off your pants and get all the way on the bed.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She unbuttoned hers and slid the zipper down, dipping her hand under the waistband of her underwear. She swiped her clit, swollen and sensitive, as he lifted his hips to slide his pants over the curve of his butt and shimmied them down his thick thighs. His gray boxer briefs sported a wet spot where the head of his cock was still trapped by fabric. She stroked her fingers over her own wet flesh. His thick, rough fingers, his tongue, his cock, would replace her small hands soon. Her legs trembled, an orgasm building just from making out and watching Evan get undressed.
“Those too.”
She panted as he stripped out of his underwear, his cock bobbing as he pulled the elastic down, then standing up from his dark pubic hair, thick and flushed, the tip wet. She swallowed hard.
“Touch yourself. I’m going to come.”
* * *
Evan watched Tessa’s hand moving in her pants, stroking herself, reaching one hand to pinch her own nipple, and was afraid that if he so much as touched his cock, he was going to explode. But an order was an order. Hands shaking, he wrapped his fist around his dick.
“Good.” Her hand moved faster, shielded behind her pants.
He stroked slowly, tightly over his length, squeezing himself to keep from spilling at the sight of her as her breathy whimpers turned to moans. He gripped himself as her knees wobbled, her head thrown back, exposing her neck as she cried out. She was still half-dressed and standing in the middle of her studio apartment coming on her own hand and he was about to do the same if he wasn’t careful.
She shivered deeply and collapsed forward, gripping the edge of the mattress with her free hand, thighs shaking, the hand in her pants making slow, jerky movements. The base of his spine buzzed with heat, desperate to follow her lead and come, but he wouldn’t. Not until she said so. Not until she’d done whatever this was that she needed to do.
And god help him, she sank to her knees in front of him, running her blunt fingernails up his thighs, her right hand trailing dampness over his skin.
“Tessa, wait.”
“What’s wrong?” She lifted her head, pulling her lip between her teeth.
He resisted the urge to cup her face in his hands. “Nothing. There’s just no way in hell I’m going to last if you do that. Which is fine, if you don’t want to have sex tonight. Not that this isn’t sex, but you know what I mean—Oh, god. Fuck.”
She cut off his babbling with a well-placed lick to the underside of his cock, still fisted in his hand. Her hands left his thighs, and through the haze of her lips wrapping around him and pulling his dick into the wet heat of her mouth, he was dimly aware of her shimmying out of her pants. She swiped her tongue around the head, through the slit, a bolt of pleasure tightening his balls and his belly, as she pressed her small hands to his chest and pushed him on his back.
With one last hard suck, she released him and climbed on his lap. “Condom.”
He fumbled to rip open the box with her straddling him, her pussy hot and wet against his thighs. She dipped her fingers between her legs, circling her clit while he struggled, a self-satisfied smile on her face. Yes, she had him completely undone, fumbling like a nervous teenager rolling a condom over his desperate hard-on for the first time. No, he didn’t care.
He put shaky hands on her hips when he was sheathed, barely holding back a moan as she took him in hand and lifted up on her knees to bring herself down over him. Slowly, so slowly, she sank, clenching around him as their bodies met, bottoming out. Her breasts brushed his chest as she leaned forward for a soft kiss.
Then she lifted her chest, braced her hands on the headboard, and started to move. She rolled her hips, grinding against him, riding him
, fucking herself on him. Evan gripped her hips, lost himself in her movement, in the tight heat of her surrounding his cock, the bounce of her breasts in front of his face.
“Touch me.” She guided his hand between her legs to stroke her clit, tight and hard under his thumb, and the other to cup her breast.
He pinched her nipple, rolled it between his fingers, stroking the peak in counterpoint to his other hand on her clit. Her muscles clenched around him, stuttering his rhythm.
“Don’t stop. Close.”
He circled her clit with his thumb, pressing gently into her pubic bone, while the force of her snapping hips and her grip on the headboard made muffled thumps against the wall. He tried to ignore the white-hot need in his spine. He wanted her to come first, didn’t want to disappoint her. She shuddered above him, hips grinding down into him as her body clamped around him and she came, head thrown back, lips parted around a low, hoarse moan.
Evan moved his hands to her hips, let her ride it out, until she stilled on top of him, collapsed against his chest. His skin buzzed with the need to thrust up into her, to find his release inside her, to lose himself.
She lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him with eyes hazy with pleasure. “Do you want to come, Evan?”
He swallowed. “Yes.”
“Then do it.”
He wrapped his arms around her, trapping her against him, chest to chest, and lifted his hips. Two orgasms had left her smooth and slick; his cock slid deep into her with almost no friction. Tessa slid her knees down his body, gripping his hips with the soft insides of her thighs, closing the space between them. Every stroke, every drag of his cock through her wet heat was magnified by the shift of her legs. He faltered, shaking under her, as the feeling, the need, curled in his belly and his balls, arcing up his back to the base of his skull and he came, buried inside her, thrusting without thought or rhythm until he was spent and panting, holding her to his heaving chest.
Rogue Ever After (The Rogue Series Book 7) Page 23
