I rubbed the lotion over my arm, avoiding his eyes.
“Seriously, Lauren, I’m sorry. I was hoping we could be friends.”
I went still. Friends. I’d asked Will if we were friends and look where that had gotten me.
But Zane wasn’t Will, I reminded myself. Zane was here, and he was looking at me in such a puppy-dog-ish way that I allowed myself a cautious smile. “Friends, huh?”
“No strings.” Leaning forward, he held out his hand in truce. “You have my word.” I sighed, allowing myself a truce smile as I put my hand in his. He shook it, as if we were striking a business deal. “You surf?” he asked, nodding toward the boards. “I got an extra wetsuit.”
I drew my hand away. “I don’t even swim.” I’d spent the past two days eating ice cream and thinking about why I’d really come to California. Suddenly, I wasn’t sure if I was in love with the idea of swimming as much as I’d been in love with the idea of doing something my parents had been so adamantly opposed to.
Maybe a little of both.
But now, I think I realized it was one of those childish dreams I needed to let go of. I wasn’t a swimmer. Admitting it now was strange. I’d been hiding that fact my entire life, making excuses and outright lying. Saying it now was sort of . . . freeing.
Zane laughed, which wasn’t exactly the reaction I’d hoped for. “That’s not a big deal.” Also, not what I’d expected. He looked at me eagerly. “I can show you how.”
“To swim or to surf?” I laughed, because the idea of him trying to teach me either was absurd.
“Either? Both? You choose.”
I scoffed. “You’re pretty confident, but I think you mighta met your match. I think I’m unteachable.”
He jumped up and sand flew everywhere. He held his hand out to help me up. “I accept your challenge. We’ll start with swimming, and work our way up.”
I let him take my hand, still trying to decide. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”
He shrugged. “Why not? What’s the worst that can happen?” He tugged and I was up then.
“Um, I could die. Like, literally . . . I could drown.”
He laughed as he started dragging me in the direction of the ocean. I did my best to push down the panic from my last encounter with the formidable waves, which also just so happened to be my first one. “No way. We’re friends now, and friends don’t let friends die.”
As a teacher, Zane wasn’t half bad.
I mean, he wasn’t half good either, so I supposed one sorta balanced out the other. As a swimmer, I wasn’t any better or worse than when we’d started, but my confidence had skyrocketed. The fear was still there, but after my lessons with Will, it was definitely beginning to fade, and I’d ended up having a blast with Zane.
Way more fun than plowing my way through a large pepperoni with extra cheese all by myself.
By the time Zane was chasing me back toward the beach, I was stumbling from exhaustion, and laughing about my lack of skills, and dripping with itchy seawater. I collapsed in the sand before we even reached our towels, where Emerson and Lucas were going at it like they thought no one could see the two of them making out in plain sight.
“Ugh,” I complained, “Seriously, I never realized there was so much sand. It’s everywhere.” I tried wiping the grains from my legs, only to have them cling to my hands.
“Yep, that’s kinda how it works here . . . you know, at the beach.” Zane enunciated the last three words as he wrapped his elbows around his knees and studied the surf. “It’s incredible, though. Nowhere else I’d rather be.”
I followed his gaze, watching the waves crest and break as the water came rushing in over the sand. “Have you lived here all your life?” I asked.
“Nah. I’m a Midwest boy. Newton, Iowa, to be exact. Tiny little town smack dab in the middle of nowhere.” All of a sudden there was a twang to his voice, and I wondered if he was exaggerating it for my benefit.
“Never heard of it.”
He gave me a sidelong glance. “No one has.
I tried to decide what to make of him. A few nights ago, I’d wanted to write him off. But today . . . I was having second thoughts. Maybe my initial impression hadn’t been the best one. Maybe he’d been right and we really could be friends.
“Crap,” I blurted out, dropping low and using Zane’s shoulder as a shield. The move wasn’t subtle, and Zane immediately twisted to see what—or who, rather—I was hiding from.
It was Will, of course, just coming out of the water. No matter where I went, I couldn’t seem to escape him. Maybe it was because I’d been halfway tuned into him already . . . partially on the lookout.
Whatever pheromones he was giving off were doing the trick.
Will balanced a surfboard under his arm; its bold green and yellow pattern was vibrant even from this distance.
Zane didn’t have a problem helping me hide out. “What’s the deal with you two, anyway?” he asked, sheltering me the best he could.
I peeked around him. Will still hadn’t spotted me yet, and I tried not to notice the way his wetsuit clung to him, revealing that perfect athletic physique of his. Even from this far away, and with his face turned away from me, he made my blood pound. He was still searching the waves, watching for something as he effortlessly held his surfboard underneath one arm.
“Nothing,” I answered, my heart picking up speed. “I thought he was my friend. But it turns out, I was wrong.”
Several other surfers bobbed in the water farther out, where the swells were calmer, just before they rolled in to crest closer to the shore. Will lifted his arm to wave at someone, and I watched as one surfer broke away from the pack to paddle in. It wasn’t until the surfboard—a long, sleek silver board—was being carried out of the water that I realized the surfer he was waiting for was a girl.
The same girl from the Sand and Slam.
I could see her better now than I could at the party. She was tall, and even in her wetsuit I could tell she was slender and athletic. She shook her soggy hair as she dragged the tail of her board through the sand. Will laughed at the girl, and I told myself the heavy twinge in my gut wasn’t jealousy even as I leaned away from Zane to get a better view of her.
I felt Zane tense beside me, and then he said. “C’mon. Let’s get outta here.”
“No. Wait.” I held my breath, everything inside me on edge. “Who is she?” I shouldn’t be asking, but I had to know.
Zane’s eyes felt heavy on me, but I couldn’t tear mine away from Will or the girl. “That’s Tess.” He sounded almost reluctant to answer, and I wondered what I heard in his voice—was he indifferent, annoyed, jealous?
I kept pressing. “Tess?”
“She’s the reason he came back,” Zane explained, still watching me.
I swiveled to face him. “Back? From where?”
He looked puzzled by my question, like the answer was obvious. “You don’t know? About Will . . . Billy?”
There was that name again, and the memory of that first night at the Dunes, when Will’s lips had been on my stomach, was fresh in my mind, haunting me.
Making me shiver.
“He said he didn’t like to be called that,” I told Zane absently.
“I’m sure he doesn’t. Probably brings back a lot of bad memories.” Zane settled back, leaning against his hands. “Your friend Billy was a big-time surfer. Traveled all over the world and was coming up through the ranks in all the major competitions. He had sponsors and was on the verge of going pro. Everything a guy dreams of.”
“So?” I asked. “What happened?”
“From what I hear, she did.”
My gaze swung back in their direction. To where Will, or Billy rather, and this Tess girl were standing near the edge of the water.
Zane went on, not even aware that his explanation was tying my stomach in knots. “He came back for her and let his whole career go to shit.”
As if he’d heard us talking about him, Will looked m
y way then, scanning the beach. He barely noticed me at first; almost looked right through me. But then his gaze landed directly on me.
I froze, my breath caught in my throat, and my heart stuttered.
“I’m sorry,” Zane said, because of course he’d noticed too—that flash of recognition that filled Will’s eyes, right before he glanced away, all in the blink of an instant. “I thought you already knew.”
Will turned his back then as he fell in step next to Tess, the girl he’d come back for. The girl he’d ended his surfing career for.
When he reached her, he dropped his free arm around her neck and drew her close, whispering something in her ear.
I couldn’t watch for another second. My stomach lurched, and I staggered to my feet. I might’ve said, “I gotta go,” but I couldn’t be sure because by that point my head was spinning. I couldn’t stop thinking about the way Will had kissed me, what, only three days ago? The way he’d put his mouth on my nipple and his hand between my thighs.
I thought they’d broken up, but clearly I’d been wrong.
Tess was the real reason he’d put the brakes on. The reason he’d left me that note about paying me back. He wouldn’t . . . couldn’t teach me anymore, because of her.
Will or Billy, or whatever the hell his name was, definitely wasn’t the kind of guy I’d thought he was.
Or rather, he was exactly the kind of guy I’d pegged him for . . . that first night I’d met him at The Dunes, when he’d been surrounded by slutty girls all vying for his attention. When he’d drawn out the body shot, his lips lingering too long over my skin.
He was a scumbag.
I felt sorry for myself. But worse, I felt bad for Tess. Tess, who probably had no idea that the person she was in love with had almost fucked me in the pool during my private swimming lesson.
I didn’t remember stumbling across the beach and crossing the street to my bungalow, but when I locked the door behind me, I fell on my bed, still wearing my swimsuit, all covered in sand. I made a silent pact: I’d never, ever, ever, ever fall for a guy like Will—or maybe any guy—ever again.
WILL
Seeing Lauren again had been like having my fingernails ripped off one at a time.
Three days hadn’t been long enough.
Fuck, three years might not be enough.
I considered trying to talk Tess into moving away from here, but I knew she’d never go for it. The old house held too many memories. And even if they weren’t all good, she was probably right; I’d have a hard time leaving it too.
The best I could hope for is that this summer would end, and so would Lauren’s lease. She’d be gone before I knew it.
Until then, I decided all I had to do was avoid her.
It almost worked; I almost didn’t notice her at all. Watching Tess out in those waves had been something else. It had been years since we’d spent this much time together, and I hadn’t expected her to be so . . . so, what? Improved? Good?
Fucking amazing, that’s what she was.
She’d blown my mind out there. Finding waves no else could. Staying up when I’d have said it was impossible.
She was incredible.
She was like me.
The old me.
Part of me resented her for it, even while I cheered her on. That part of my life was over. And I didn’t want it back.
Tess wanted it though. The competitions. The travel. The accolades and recognition. The sponsors and fame and fortune.
She didn’t understand there was a downside to it all. That coming up through the ranks was tough, and competition brought out the ugly side in almost everyone. The money was hard to come by, the schedules were brutal, and most competitors never succeeded the way I had.
And worst of all, sometimes it wasn’t just your body that took a beating . . . something I’d learned all too well.
She was determined, though. And if I was being totally honest with myself, she was damn good. She stood a chance.
But that inner voice was there, warning me that letting her surf was a bad idea. As her brother, and after what happened to me, I should discourage her. Keep her from getting injured the way I had.
I’d never forgive myself if something happened to Tess. Sure, a concussion sucked, but at least I’d walked out of my hospital room.
Some surfers weren’t so lucky.
That was when I felt someone watching me. Even before looking, I knew who it was. I could sense her presence in my gut.
Lauren.
When I’d turned and spotted her sitting with Zane, it felt like someone had punched a hole in my chest. I had no idea how this girl had gotten to me in such a short amount of time, but she damn sure had. I hadn’t stopped thinking about her for days, couldn’t stop wanting her, craving her. And seeing her now . . .
I forced myself to concentrate on Tess instead.
I caught up with my sister and hooked my arm around her shoulder. Smiling, I tugged her closer, blocking Lauren from my view. “Come on,” I told Tess. “Let’s get this over with.”
“You sure you wanna do this?” Big Chuck asked. I looked out the window, to where Tess was waiting for me. The look on her face was the same uncertain look she’d been giving me ever since I told her what I’d planned to do. But the wheels were already in motion. Even if I wanted to, there was no backing out now.
I rubbed my hand over the familiar surface of my board one last time and fought the lump in my throat. “Don’t really need it anymore.”
“Yeah, I heard. Tough blow,” Chuck said.
Shrugging, I passed the surfboard across the cluttered counter of Big Chuck’s Pro Shop, but Chuck stopped me. “Signed,” he said. “Dude wanted you to sign it.”
“So he’s a collector?” Seemed a shame to let a board like this gather dust in some basement somewhere.
“Nah. Just a fan, I guess. For that much cash, if he wants his board autographed, who am I to argue, right?”
I took the Sharpie Chuck handed me and tried not to feel guilty about defacing my lucky board. It wasn’t as much cash as I’d have gotten for winning one of the big invitationals or anything, but it’d be enough to pay Lauren back and hopefully get Camden off our case for good . . . in time to get Tess settled into a routine before school started up again.
When I was done, I passed the pen back to him.
“Sorry to hear about your mom, man,” Chuck said.
“Thanks.” I rubbed the back of my neck, suddenly eager to escape the crowded store I’d spent so many hours in growing up.
Chuck counted out the money, taking his time. “How’s Tess handling it?”
I glanced out at the sidewalk. She wasn’t paying attention now, and I studied her carefully.
Things were getting better, both for her and with her. At least that’s what I told myself to keep from running away, which seemed a million times easier than holding it together. Camden might have legal guardianship of Tess, but so far I’d managed to keep him at bay by paying him off with as much money as I could scrounge together. But even I knew that couldn’t go on forever.
I was already pulling double shifts at the bar, teaching swim lessons, and doing odd jobs whenever I could find them. If I had more self-control, I never would have quit giving Lauren lessons. Except there was no way I could spend that much time alone with her and keep my hands to myself.
And right now, Tess needed me to keep my head in the game . . . at least until this Cam mess was straightened out. I couldn’t afford to get twisted up over some girl.
The cash from selling my board would have to do for now. I hoped to use it to convince Cam to sign guardianship over to me. Then I could work on giving Tess the kind of life she deserved.
Chuck handed me the bills. “She’s okay then?” he pressed when I hadn’t answered him.
I lifted a shoulder. “She’ll be okay. We’re figuring things out.” I pocketed the money and left my board behind, the last reminder of the days when I’d been on my way to being a ch
ampion.
But I had a different life now, and a new future.
I stepped out of the pro shop, and grinned at my little sister, whose shiny hair was naturally highlighted from spending hours out on the water, the same way mine had once been.
Familiar green eyes looked back at me. “We good?” she asked, biting her lip nervously.
I nodded. “We’re great, Tess. Everything’s great.”
LAUREN
It took me a good week to decide I couldn’t keep wallowing in self-pity. That I needed someplace regular to be, like a job or some other activity to get me out of the house on a regular basis. I’d gone down to the beach several times, lying to myself at first that I hadn’t been trying to catch another glimpse of Will or his girlfriend. But when I’d come home disappointed I realized I was wrong. That was exactly why I’d gone, and it had to end. I didn’t want to add stalking to the list of things I wasn’t proud of.
I still couldn’t swim, even though Zane had tried his best to convince me he could teach me if I’d just give him a chance. He was fine and all. Decent enough company while Emerson spent more and more time with Lucas, but mostly, I wanted to be left alone.
Except that was a lie too.
The truth was, being alone only made things worse. The more time I spent by myself, the more resentful I became. Resentful that I’d let Will get in my head . . . and nearly into my pants. That he’d made me feel things I’d never felt before.
I needed to get out.
When I pulled into the parking lot, I wondered if this was the right call. It was one thing to imagine being the kind of do-gooder who made the world a better place, it was another to actually go through with it. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for a job like this, even if it was only a volunteer gig.
But the alternative was going back to my couch to stew over Will, and that held about as much appeal as one of the shark attacks my mother had warned me about.
If I’d been expecting someplace fancy, like Will’s pool club, I was sorely mistaken. It could have been worse, I supposed. There were no chain link fences or metal detectors, which I took as a good sign, but it was definitely more industrial than I’d pictured. A warehouse surrounded by a field of blacktop and more warehouses.
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