I should never have kept it, or for that matter spent any of it. But after Jefferson Brandt had died . . . and after he’d donated all that money to the animal shelter, I had decided to keep it after all. I mean, what else was I going to do, walk it into the police station—fifty thousand in cash? How was I going to explain our relationship, or lack thereof, to them?
“Hi, I’m the webcam stripper Mr. Brandt was obsessed with. Oh, and he just happened to drop off fifty grand at my apartment the night before he died. But it’s okay, it was totally a gift.”
Yeah, I’m sure they’d have been cool with that.
Now I lived in fear. Worried the police were going to put two and two together on their own and come after me.
Then I’d have to answer for all the things I’d done.
Then my secret identity would no longer be a secret. My parents would be devastated if they ever found out about Lola Bang.
When I heard the knock on the classroom door, my head popped up, because how poetic would that be . . . if it were the cops, right here, right now?
But it wasn’t the cops.
The classroom door had a big glass opening and I could see who was there, on the other side. All over again, my stomach clenched.
“Come in,” I croaked. This night had just flipped from miserable to downright bizarre in the blink of an eye.
What was Tess doing here? Tess, who I’d once thought was Will’s girlfriend, and who he definitely loved, but not in the way I’d believed.
She came inside hesitantly, and I realized how young she looked up close. It was hard to fathom I could have mistaken the two of them for a couple, even from a distance.
Even more jarring, were the similarities I could see now that I was looking for them. She and Will shared the same emerald-colored eyes and the same messy brown waves. Hers was long and sun-streaked, and pulled back into an untamed bun.
“I was hoping I could get your help with something.” She chewed her bottom lip, which was full, her cheeks bright pink like she’d just come in from spending the day at the beach.
I got up from the hard plastic seat I’d been in. “What is it?”
She came inside all the way and fidgeted with one of the woven leather bracelets she wore around both wrists. “You teach the computer classes, right?”
I nodded.
“I was hoping maybe you could help me make a résumé.” Her clear eyes did that thing her brother’s did and seemed to look directly through me. “I need to get a job.”
I thought of what Lucas had said, about Will having to sell his surfboard because he’d needed the money. I guess he needed his sister to pitch in too.
“Sure,” I said, feeling like an even bigger jerk for the fact that I’d sort of hated her before. “When do you need it?”
She perked up. “The sooner the better,” she explained. “Do you have time now?”
“Now?”
“Well, yeah. I was kinda hoping to start job hunting tomorrow, and we don’t have a printer at home. Or a decent computer. We will, eventually. But for now . . .” she trailed off, giving me a hopeful look that I recognized all too well. It was the kind of look Emerson used when she was asking me to do something she knew I didn’t want to do. “I could really use your help.”
I mean, what kind of person would I have been if I’d turned her down? Besides, what else did I have on my busy social calendar?
I pulled out a chair in front of one of the laptops. “No time like the present. How ’bout we just dive in?” I dragged another of the plastic chairs next to mine and patted it.
Tess squealed, reminding me again she was younger than I’d first thought as she rounded the table and plopped down to sit beside me. I probably should’ve told her that at her age she wouldn’t need a résumé; that mostly she’d be leaving a lot of blank spots where previous employment history was supposed to go. But now that she was here, I wanted to find out more about her . . . and, if I was being totally honest, about Will too.
I started to open a file on the computer, but then decided against it and passed the laptop to her. If I was going to do this, I might as well teach her something in the process. “Go ahead,” I told her. “Let’s start with your name.”
She was a fast learner. She followed my instructions hesitantly at first, but the longer we worked, the more confident she grew, and by the time we were finished, she had a pretty decent grasp of how to build a résumé.
Tess was an open book. If I asked a question, she answered with more information than I needed. It was extra endearing.
I’d learned that her birthday wasn’t until November, and she was only fifteen, but she didn’t plan to let that deter her in her job hunt. She was convinced she’d have no trouble landing something, because not only could she pass for older—which was true—but surfers were notoriously unreliable. The local pro shops just needed warm bodies they could count on.
She told me she’d spent her entire life in West Beach, and that this fall, she’d be starting her sophomore year at West Beach High. She got decent enough grades, but she hated math and anything math related. And more than anything in the entire world she loved to surf—a talent she shared with her brother, it seemed.
That last part she volunteered. I didn’t even have to ask.
Tess talked about her mom too. She explained that her mom had died of pancreatic cancer. She felt cheated because there hadn’t been enough time to say good-bye. She was dry-eyed when she explained what it had been like, watching her mom go from energetic and full of life, to withered and incapacitated in the space of a heartbeat.
But I wasn’t. I wanted to hug her. To cry for her . . . and for Will.
She mentioned her brother several times, and each time she did I meant to tell her I knew him. But I couldn’t quite figure out a way to explain who he was to me. I couldn’t call him my friend, because he wasn’t. Not really. Yet he was more than just an acquaintance.
The longer we talked, the more impossible it became to confess I already knew him. Ultimately, I kept my mouth shut.
“Will’s gonna take care of me.” Tess was just saving her file so she could print the copies she would take with her tomorrow when she got started on her job hunt. She planned to hit the surf shops, but also coffee stands and burger joints, any place with hours flexible enough that she could still find time to surf and go to school. In that order. “He passed the state lifeguard exams, which is a really big deal. He has a big interview this week. If he gets the job, everything’ll be okay.”
I hadn’t thought about Will’s future before. I knew about his surfing career, and I wondered if he would have come back here if he hadn’t gotten injured. If taking care of Tess would’ve been enough.
I was starting to learn that life couldn’t always be planned.
I frowned, as I considered what Tess had said. “Everything, like what?”
Tess lowered her head and shrugged. “It’s all just been . . . hard on him . . .” She looked down, toying with her bracelets again. “I know he’s trying—working a lot and taking classes to meet the requirements. So getting this would be a huge break for him. For us.” For the first time, I got the definite feeling she was holding back. But I didn’t want to push her.
“Well,” I said, grinning at her. “You ready to print some of these up so you can get that McJob of yours?”
The mischievous smile of hers was back. “I’d be happy at some crap-ass food cart serving stale donuts and lukewarm coffee. As long as they pay me on time, what do I care, right?”
I laughed as I got up to grab her résumés off the printer, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d said, about how everything would be okay if only Will got that job.
LAUREN
I had a tough time sleeping that night. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I’d ended up here. All my life I’d wanted to live near the ocean, but now I couldn’t help wondering whether I was chasing my dreams, or if I was really just running from my past.
r /> I’d sort of stumbled into the webcam thing, and even though I’d never planned to do it long term or anything, I also hadn’t meant for it to end so abruptly. Or under such tragic circumstances.
But maybe that’s the way it was meant to be.
Sudden. And final.
Maybe it was all for the best.
I’d always just gone along with what was expected of me, doing what everyone else thought I should do, letting my parents make most of my major decisions. Even being a business major had been their doing. The stripcam was the only thing I’d ever really done on my own, and I’d kept that on the down low.
But I’d never given much thought to what would come next.
Maybe this was what I needed to jump-start my life. To push me in this new direction. Here. In California. Not because of the sand and surf, but because of these kids at the rec center who needed someone to teach them to navigate the world of computers and online technology.
So I could help someone other than myself. Give them the advantages they deserved.
So I could start living for me.
That’s where my head was as I sat in the computer lab late the next afternoon, when Tess came bursting in like a tornado. She bounced up and down as her bright eyes sparkled and her blonde-streaked hair whipped wildly behind her. “Lauren! I did it! We did it!”
She didn’t even have to explain, her enthusiasm said it all. “A job? You got a job already?” I shot up from my chair.
She was nodding when she reached me, and I threw my arms around her. “Yay!” I squeezed her hard and then drew back. “So? Which crap-ass food cart will I be getting my stale donuts from?”
Her eyes went wide and she bit her bottom lip excitedly. “No food cart—it’s the pro shop! Big Chuck hired me, and I’ll be selling Sex Wax and boards and wetsuits. It’s right up my alley! Plus, he totally gets that I need surf time.”
I had no idea who Big Chuck was, but I giggled, because how could I not? “I assume Sex Wax is a surf thing . . .”
Tess rolled her eyes at me. “You totally aren’t from around here, are you?”
“Nope.”
She lifted her eyebrows, like she’d just come up with the most brilliant plan ever. “You should let me teach you to surf. You know, to repay you for your help!”
I’d spent plenty of time watching the surfers off the shore, and tried to imagine myself on a surfboard. Me, someone who could barely manage to stay afloat in the motionless water of the kiddie pool. “I think I’ll take a hard pass. Let’s chalk that up to it’s the thought that counts and call us even.”
Tess flashed me her winning smile, and something shifted inside me. This was definitely right. Being here. Doing this. “Okay, fine,” she conceded. “Maybe not surfing, but I’ll figure out a way to repay you.”
Even though it was still light out when I was leaving the rec center that evening, most of the parking lots in the area had cleared out. It made it easier to hear the argument spilling out from the narrow alleyway between the large community center building and the warehouse next door. Whatever the disagreement was about, it was heated.
My skin prickled involuntarily and I glanced around, making sure the coast was clear before beelining toward my car.
Even before that night at my apartment with Jefferson Brandt, my knee-jerk reaction had always been to mind my own business. If I’d had earbuds, I would have plugged those in my ears in an effort not to get involved.
Except today . . .
Today something that made me slow down. Something familiar about the raised voices. Or at least one of them.
I cursed myself for even noticing. And that’s when I realized it was Tess’s voice I was hearing.
I couldn’t see her . . . couldn’t see either of them, for that matter since they were in the alley, but Tess was arguing with a man, and he definitely wasn’t Will. And Tess, I reminded myself, was only fifteen.
Taking a deep breath, and reaching into my purse for the can of pepper spray I kept there. I eased closer, telling myself I only wanted to make sure Tess wasn’t in any trouble. I hated shit like this. I wasn’t a badass, but I also couldn’t let some asshole—dangerous or not—push a teenage girl around.
When I heard the quiver in Tess’s voice, my fingers tightened around the pepper spray. “I promise it won’t be long. I got a job, I’ll get you some money as soon as I can.” As much as I wanted to peek around the corner, I stayed where I was. My back was pressed against the wall so I could listen to what was happening.
“Look, Tessie,” a gravelly voice said back to her, much quieter than it had been just seconds ago. His greasy tone made me cringe. “You know I don’t wanna be like this. I love you and your brother, but he’s not cooperating.” He paused to take a breath and the sound was so audible it made me think the mere act of speaking was an effort for this guy. I wondered what kind of trouble Will had gotten them into, and why this guy thought Tess would have whatever money he was after. “I just don’t think you have it in you to get me the kinda dough I need, and I don’t have time to wait for you to fill your piggy bank.”
Tess was quiet, and I started to think the guy might be doing something more than just talking. I took a breath and clutched the small canister of pepper spray, ready to pounce, when I heard her again. “We both know this wasn’t how Mom wanted things, Uncle Cam.”
Uncle? I let my head fall back, but only because Tess didn’t sound scared of the piece of shit. In fact, she sounded furious. “She would have wanted me to live with Will, and more than that, she would’ve hated that you’re blackmailing us like this.”
A slight pause. “Your mom was too weak, and too sick, to know what she wanted.”
There was a smacking sound—a hard slap. But I’d seen Tess deck her brother at the Sand and Slam, and I didn’t, for a second, think her uncle had just hit her. If I had, I’d have come out guns—or rather, pepper spray—blazing.
A slow smile found my lips, even as I stayed ready to jump to Tess’s rescue.
It wasn’t necessary though, because the next thing I heard were footsteps running in the opposite direction, followed by Tess’s Uncle Cam shouting, “You ungrateful brat! I shoulda had Social Services pick you up when I had the chance! In fact, maybe it’s time I placed that call!” Even when the footsteps had vanished, and he was probably just talking to himself, he kept on ranting, “Maybe they’d be interested in the fact that your no-good brother’s trying to keep you from your rightful guardian! If you and your brother can’t come up with the cash I need, I think I should call that social worker of yours and let the state find a proper home for you!”
I wasn’t sure if Tess had heard that last part or not, but I sure had, and I felt sick. So that’s why Will worked so much. Why he’d sold his surfboard and who knew what else. Why Tess needed a résumé. Their uncle was blackmailing them, threatening to call Social Services and have her taken away from Will if they didn’t pay him off.
What a sleazeball.
If he was half as disgusting as he sounded, I doubted the state would even take him seriously, but that wasn’t the point. The very fact he was willing to make the threat turned my stomach, and I understood why Tess had run off so suddenly. Why would anyone want to be around someone as vile as him?
I thought about bolting for my car then, but for reasons I couldn’t explain, I stayed right where I was.
When he came around the corner, he practically knocked me over. He was far less intimidating than he’d sounded. He was older than I’d imagined, although no less greasy, and tired in a way that said he’d lived a really rough life. The word junkie popped into my head and I doubted I was that far off.
“’Scuse me,” he grumbled, barely glancing up, and not seeming to care that I’d probably heard at least part of his conversation with his niece.
He brushed past me, and I was hit by the wall of his sour breath. Wincing, I opened my mouth, not sure what I planned to say, but I couldn’t just ignore the heavy feeling in
the pit of my stomach. My heart was hammering way too hard.
“Hey! I need to talk to you,” I managed, which probably wasn’t the smoothest thing I could’ve said, but at least it got him to stop.
“Yeah? What do you want?” He narrowed his eyes like he was trying to decide if I was worth his time. Like he had better and more important places to be, which we both knew couldn’t possibly be true.
“I need you to answer a couple of questions for me.”
“What’s in it for me?”
I rolled my eyes. “Depends,” I told him, realizing I had the upper hand with a guy like him—someone who was so desperate for money he’d stoop low enough to blackmail his own family, “on how honest your answers are.”
He licked the front of his gross, decayed teeth, and the heaviness in my stomach turned to nausea. He bobbed his head to the side, which I took to be a go ahead shrug.
“Okay, first, why would Social Services care if you called them on Will and Tess?” I raised my brows as I crossed my arms over my chest to let him know I expected the full answer. “And what I mean is, what leverage do you have over them?”
His narrowed eyes became mere slits at the mention of Will and Tess, but he recovered quickly, giving me another shrug-nod, as if it made no difference to him whether he answered truthfully or not. He was obviously practiced at trivializations and duplicity. “I’m the girl’s guardian. It’s all legal and whatnot. My sister signed papers before she died that said I would be in charge of Tess.” He gave me a smug look at the end of his explanation.
The look I returned was pointed. “And the money? The cash you’re trying to extort from them? What’s that all about?”
“What can I say? I need cash, and they can get it for me. I don’t care how, long as they do.” He scowled at me then. “I answered your questions, and I ain’t got nothin’ in return. We’re done here.” He pivoted on his heel and started to walk away.
“Wait!” I called after him, holding up a crisp hundred-dollar bill I’d pulled from my purse. “Just one more question.”
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