Just then, my phone chimed with a text message, and I forgot all about illicit money and secret duffle bags as I lunged for it, hoping the message was from Will.
Still thinking about tonight, the message read. Round two tomorrow?
I was beaming when I responded back, Maybe we can try a little glow-in-the-dark action next time.
Anything you want, he answered, and when I closed out of my messages, I could hardly believe this was my life. The idea of a repeat performance had my toes curling already. If all guys could do what Will had done to me tonight, I understood why Emerson had been pushing me so hard to cash in my V card.
I was about to put my phone down when I saw the missed voicemail from Norm at the West Beach Rec Center. He’d called several hours ago, sometime between my run-in with Will’s uncle in the parking lot and my run-in with Will in my bedroom. I put it on speaker while I smeared cream cheese on a bagel.
But as I listened, my appetite vanished.
“Hey, Lauren. We ran your background check through the local police department, and we just got a call back about it—something about an incident in Tempe. Anyway, I gave the officer who contacted me your number, and just thought you should know to expect a call from him.”
A boulder settled over my chest, crushing me.
An incident. In Tempe.
It was exactly what I’d been dreading, ever since I’d run away. The reason I’d never told Emerson about that night. Why I kept the money hidden and looked over my shoulder.
Someone had finally made the connection and knew that Jefferson Brandt had come to see me the night he’d killed himself. Someone knew about the fifty thousand dollars, and what he’d wanted me to do for it.
They knew I was Lola Bang.
My legs crumpled and I wilted into one of the kitchen chairs. I buried my face in my hands. This was all wrong. I was supposed to be safe here, away from everything that had happened that night. This was my do-over, my chance to start again.
I guess that wasn’t the way things worked; there were no clean slates.
And now, it seemed the police knew where to find me. This changed everything, whether I wanted it to or not.
I felt like I’d just gotten settled. I just figured out what my purpose for coming here was.
I just got things sorted out with Will.
Will . . .
This wasn’t the time to be selfish. Who knew how much longer until the police showed up, and the last thing I wanted was to have them—or Social Services—nosing into Tess and Will’s situation.
I couldn’t do that to them. I had to be smart. For once, I had to think of someone else and what was best for them.
That meant leaving.
Knowing I was doing the right thing helped to calm me. Survival mode kicked in, and by the time I was finished packing and putting the finishing touches on what would need to be taken care of once I was gone, I ran my hand over my ponytail and blew out a breath.
Everything would be fine, I assured myself, and somehow, I believed it.
I kicked the duffel bag under Emerson’s bed and dropped detailed instructions on her pillow before locking the door behind me. Then I disappeared into the cab that was waiting outside.
WILL
It took me way too long at the courthouse, getting all the paperwork squared away, and it was hard not taking out my phone every thirty seconds to check it. Something that was so out of character for me.
I was the asshole who did one-night stands.
It was official, one night with Lauren and she’d turned me into a thirteen-year-old girl. It was tough not to feel bent that she hadn’t bothered to text me once during the entire day.
I’d have to make her suffer, just a little. Maybe even get her to beg.
Fuck! Just imagining Lauren begging for mercy was making me hard, and then I was the one suffering. I shifted, trying to stop thinking about her full breasts and the way she’d whimpered my name as she finally let go, but it was damn near impossible.
Last night had been the best night of my life, hands down. I almost couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact Lauren had been a virgin, and I probably shouldn’t feel like such a goddamned conqueror who’d planted my flag on some mountain, but fuck if I didn’t. For whatever reason, she’d decided to give her virginity up to me, and I damn sure wouldn’t give her the chance to regret that choice.
From the first time I’d laid eyes on her, I’d never wanted someone so badly. I wasn’t used to being the pursuer. I’d always been the one making a quick getaway before whatever poor girl I’d been sweet-talking just hours earlier finally came to the realization that all she’d been to me was another notch. I’d always been the one dodging tearful phone calls and stalker-y texts.
But now that I finally had Lauren, I had no intention of fucking it up.
The whole money thing still bugged me. I mean, who the hell keeps a gym bag full of hundred-dollar bills hidden in their ceiling?
People with something to hide, that’s who.
Still. I didn’t care what her secrets were, as long as she let me help her keep them. As far as I was concerned, she was mine now. And that meant if she was in some sort of trouble, I planned to do everything in my power to protect her.
My attorney came out of the clerk’s office and handed me a file. “It’s official,” she said, looking from me to Tess, and back to me again. “You now have sole legal custody of Teresa Christine Gabaldon.”
“Tess,” Tess corrected automatically, but her eyes were brimming with tears as she looked up at me. “So does this mean he can’t hurt us anymore? No more threats?”
“I told you to trust me; I was taking care of it.”
Tess squealed and threw herself at me.
“Thank you,” I mouthed to Amanda Connors, the attorney I’d hired to handle my custody case when Camden turned down my final offer—the money I’d made selling my surfboard and everything else I had that was worth a shit, in exchange for signing the custody papers.
I’d taken the cash earmarked for Cam and hired Amanda instead, after she’d assured me I had a real chance. There had been some risk that the court would swing in our uncle’s favor once and for all, but I’d had enough of Cam’s blackmail—and I knew Tess had too. It had been time to take that chance for Tess’s sake. I couldn’t let Cam hold this over our heads forever.
Amanda raised one dark brow and gave me a look I recognized all too well—the one that said we should take our celebration someplace private.
If this were any other time, I might have considered her offer. She was fine as hell, especially with the whole lusty lawyer vibe she was giving off. But right now all I could think about was getting Tess home safely and getting back to Lauren so I could drag her ass to bed. I didn’t even care that I sounded like some sort of Neanderthal. If I’d owned a club, I might have considered using it.
I pretended not to grasp her meaningful look, and without letting go of Tess, I extended my hand to Amanda, making it clear we were on a handshake-only basis. “I can’t thank you enough.”
Tess finally released me. “You’re a life saver!” she gushed, reaching out for her turn to shake the attorney’s hand. She was completely clueless about the disappointed look being directed my way.
As we left the courthouse, I dropped my arm around Tess’s shoulder. “Lifesaver, huh? Painting in on a bit thick, don’t you think? I always figured if worst came to worst, you’d be able to hold your own.”
Tess looked up at me and frowned. “I wasn’t talking about me, dumbass. I meant that if I had to live with Uncle Camden I would have smothered him in his sleep.” Her eyebrows ticked up. “Your sexy lady attorney literally saved his life.”
I laughed, even harder because I’d been wrong about Tess not picking up on Amanda’s suggestive glances and her take-me stares. “Jesus Christ, I gotta stop thinking of you as eleven. You notice everything, don’t you?”
“You mean like the fact you’ve been moping around for the pa
st few weeks like someone ran over your dog?”
Grimacing, I nodded. “Yeah, like that.”
We reached the truck and I unlocked her door. “All I know for sure is, whoever she is, you two must’ve worked things out, because you’ve been halfway decent all day. Feel free to thank her for me.”
Tess climbed up inside the truck.
“And what makes you so sure I’m not in a good mood because of the news we just got?” I asked.
She reached for the door handle. “Nope. It’s a girl,” she shot back. And right before she slammed the door closed, she said, “And she must be somethin’ else because you’re what we like to call ‘in love,’ my friend.”
Muttering to myself as I walked around to the driver’s side, I climbed in beside her. I couldn’t believe how transparent I was, or how close to home Tess had hit with her assessment of my recent behavior.
Wasn’t it too soon to be in love? Sure, I couldn’t stop thinking about Lauren and the things I wanted to do to her, and I definitely I wanted to take care of her—every protective instinct I possessed had kicked into overdrive the moment I’d unzipped that duffel bag of hers.
But love?
“I’m not in love,” I protested as I started the engine. “And I’m not your friend either.” I grinned then, just a little, as I flashed her a wry look. “In fact, I’m pretty sure these papers here sort of make me your father, which means I can officially ground you now.”
Tess reached over and slugged me in the arm. “Never gonna happen. But keep it up and you’ll have to sleep with one eye open.”
I felt like kind of a douche showing up with an armload of flowers like this. When I’d stopped at the flower stand the lady started drilling me with all kinds of questions about what kind of flowers my girl liked best, and the thing was . . . I had no fucking clue. So I bought a bouquet of each, ten in all, each wrapped in this plastic cellophane crap.
But now that I was standing here, the gesture seemed less thoughtful and more like something a nervous sixteen-year-old would do on his first date, which was exactly how I felt. My palms were sweating, my legs were restless, and I couldn’t find the courage to even knock on the door.
If this was what love was all about, then why on earth would anyone sign up willingly? This blew. Hard.
After I gave myself a brief pep talk, during which I reminded myself I’d faced some of the fiercest waves known to man on my surfboard, and that girls were constantly giving me both their numbers and their panties, I finally rapped my knuckles against the weathered wooden door.
When Lauren’s blonde roommate answered and her eyes dropped to the armload of flowers I was wielding, I felt as exposed as if I’d been standing there completely undressed. “Will?” she frowned. “What are you doing here?”
“Isn’t that obvious?”
“I mean, I just . . . I thought you knew . . .” She shifted nervously and gave me a look that made me feel like I’d missed something major. “Lauren’s gone.”
“Gone? But that’s her car.”
“She left me a note . . . and the car,” she explained, still doing that wince thing. “But she was gone when I got here this morning.”
“Did she say where? Or when she was coming back?”
She shook her head. “I found this.” She held up the remnants of a broken phone, which I assumed was supposed to be Lauren’s. “And from the note she left me, I got the feeling she isn’t planning to come back.”
“I don’t understand.” I dropped the flowers in a heap. But suddenly I did understand. This was why she hadn’t texted or called me. “Why would she do this?”
“Come inside, I think it’s time we have a talk.”
LAUREN
I stared out the window at the fields, lush and green now that summer had descended on the Rockies. Even though it was July, there were still veins of snow visible in the high, far-off peaks. It was like staring at the most vivid portrait, and I wondered how I’d never noticed the breathtaking views before. I’d spent so much of my life wanting to be someplace else, to live some other life, that I’d somehow forgotten to appreciate the one right under my nose.
Not anymore though. Now, my parents’ mountain cabin, and this stunning scenery from the enormous windows, was exactly what I needed. Being here gave me what I needed: time. Time to plot my next step. And maybe, given enough time, I might even get over Will.
My eyes burned, and I wrapped my arms even tighter around myself as I tried to shove the memories of him away. I hated that I couldn’t even think of him without my insides shredding to bits. Did I really believe I’d just wake up one day and my feelings would just . . . what, evaporate?
I was delusional if I thought that would happen.
I’d been stupid in the first place, letting myself get attached. Letting him burrow into my heart. I’d known better.
I didn’t deserve that kind of happiness.
And now what I needed was to put some time and distance between myself and that night Jefferson Brandt had dropped his bag of cash on me, otherwise I’d forever be looking over my shoulder, wondering when my past would catch up with me.
Not that I’d let Will in on purpose. I wasn’t even sure how he’d managed it . . . how he’d gotten to me. He hadn’t exactly swept me off my feet or anything. But here he was, making me ache for a life I couldn’t have.
I jumped when I felt warm fingers curl around my arms from behind. “Are you sure you’ll be okay if I go?” I turned to face my mother, smiling at my own edginess because who else would it have been all the way out here? The cabin wasn’t necessarily remote, but it was far enough from civilization that it didn’t even have a real address.
My mom’s sleek black hair was pulled away from her face, and her sharp-eyed gaze landed on me. You’re not fooling anyone, that look accused. It was the same way she’d been watching me ever since she’d picked me up from the airport just over two weeks ago, no questions asked.
I knew she wanted me to tell her not to go now, but I wouldn’t. She’d already stayed for too long, and what I needed now was to be alone. Besides, my dad was probably going crazy without her. I wasn’t sure they’d ever been apart for more than a couple of nights, let alone two entire weeks.
But she was my mom, and every time I’d told her to go, she’d insisted on staying just a little longer. If I wanted to, it wouldn’t take much to talk her into staying now too.
“I’ll be fine.” And when she didn’t look convinced, I added, “I promise.”
She sighed, her eyes, and everything about her, softening. She had that kind of look that had always made it hard for people to guess how old she was. I couldn’t count the number of times we’d been mistaken as friends, although never as sisters since you had to search to see the resemblance between us. “I wish you’d just tell me what happened. It’ll eat you up if you keep it bottled inside. Don’t let whatever it is make you bitter, mi hija.”
My eyes stung. “You haven’t called me that since I was a little girl.”
She pressed her soft hand to my cheek and held my gaze. “I never should have stopped. I can no more turn my back on my past than you can on yours. It’s our histories that define us, make us into the people we become.”
I hoped that wasn’t true.
“What if you’ve done things you’re not proud of? What if your past is painful and you wish you’d done things differently?”
“That’s how you know you’re human. Sometimes those are the things that define us most.” She smiled. “Especially those.”
The tears pooled now. If my mother was right, and our pasts really were what defined us, then I was in serious trouble. I didn’t imagine that an ex–Internet stripper who hadn’t bothered to help a man who was on the brink of ending his life was someone anyone should be proud of. Maybe this was all one giant karmic bitch-slap. The universe’s way of doling out exactly what I deserved. Giving me a taste of something—or rather, someone—as wonderful as Will, only to rip him away
from me.
But it was better this way. This way Will and Tess could stay together. This way my past didn’t put them at risk.
“I never told you why I didn’t want you near the water.” My mother’s voice pensive now.
“I had my theories,” I told her. “It couldn’t have been easy when your family came from Cuba.”
She shook her head. “That’s partly true. I always thought it was my job to protect you. But now . . . now, I think it was myself I was protecting all that time. I was too afraid of losing you to let you learn to swim.” Sighing, she settled onto the sofa, her eyes roving over the view as she said, “I was only seven when my family decided to flee Cuba. My father found us passage on a boat with many other families. We sold everything we owned to pay our way. Because I was so young, I didn’t realize how dangerous the journey would be, or that, more likely, we would be intercepted by the Coast Guard and sent back to Cuba as defectors. To my brother and me, it was simply an adventure.”
“I didn’t know you have a brother.”
She blinked hard as she continued to stare out the window. “I don’t. Not anymore. The journey should have taken less than a week. Or so my parents told us. But something must have gone wrong, because I knew how to count and it was dark far more times than it should have been. We were packed into the boat with very few provisions. My father tried to keep our family together . . . to keep us safe, as much as possible. But at some point, people started to fall ill. Dysentery, my father—who was a doctor—told us. Without clean water or proper medications, it wasn’t long before people in the boats were throwing the dead overboard.”
My chest ached. How had I never known this about her before? “But you made it.”
“Some of us did,” my mom explained. “My brother—Roberto—he got sick too. By then, getting sick, even if it wasn’t dysentery, was cause for panic. Half the people on our boat had died, and the other half were terrified of dying.” Her chin trembled as her eyes met mine. “They didn’t even give him a chance. My parents tried to stop them, but the others . . . they . . .” She squeezed her eyes shut, and tears slid down her cheeks. “They threw him overboard. He wasn’t even dead yet, but he was too weak to swim when they threw him into the ocean. My mother tried to go after him, but my father stopped her.”
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