Nikki Tesla and the Fellowship of the Bling

by Jess Keating

  “Well?” Grace asked. She extended her hand to help Leo as he hauled himself out of the cold water.

  He whipped off the goggles and shook his hair like a wet dog, showering us all with droplets of water. “That water is cold!” he said, rolling his shoulders to warm up. He flicked his hands at me, teasing Pickles with the droplets. Then Bert tossed him a red towel.

  “Hey!” Charlie squeaked, hopping away from the drench zone. “Say it, don’t spray it!”

  He swiped his hand across his dripping face and shoved back his messy hair. The way the water was beading in his eyelashes made my stomach flutter, but I wasn’t about to let anyone see that I’d noticed, so I went back to examining the surface of the water.

  Oh, look. A fish.

  “It’s a good news–bad news situation,” Leo said. He sucked in a huge breath, let it out again, and blinked quickly several times, as though to clear his vision.

  “Bad news first,” Grace said.

  “The bad news is we do not have a ship,” Leo confirmed.

  “And the good news?” Charlie asked.

  “The good news is … we … did? We’re in the right place. But the ship isn’t. Or, rather, it is. But it’s not … available. ” He glanced down at the water.

  Grace chewed her lip. “So it sank.” As much as it bummed me out that our ride was missing, Grace was probably more disappointed than any of us. She’d been so excited to sail a ship with us that she was even singing that pirate-inspired Disney song the night before on the plane.

  Leo toweled his hair. “It sank all right. I can’t make out exactly what happened, but judging by the barnacles on the bow, the ship’s been down there for a while. Martha mentioned it was last used a few years ago, but I guess the satellites weren’t tracking it as closely as they should have been.”

  “Great.” Bert threw up his hands. Mo sidestepped away just in time to avoid getting smacked in the face. “So we’re stranded here on … Where are we again? Corona del Mario?”

  Charlie snorted. “It’s not a video game, dude.”

  “Diablo,” Mary corrected. “Corona del Diablo. It means the devil’s crown.”

  Bert stared at her, his mouth agape. “Well, I’m so glad to have you two around to inform me of my ignorance about the official nomenclature of the place in which we are now stranded. The Devil’s Crown …” he muttered, pacing the dock. “Of all the places to get lost. We’ll need the devil’s help getting out of here now.”

  Mo cracked a smile. “We’re not lost. We know where we are.”

  “That’s right,” I said. I lifted Pickles from my neck and set her on the warm rocks to dry off a little. “If we know where we are, we know how to get to where we need to be. And that’s over there.” I pointed south, around the arc of the coastline.

  Charlie clucked her tongue. “So what are our options? We can’t exactly swim there. Or hitch a ride on one of those awesome marine iguanas I’ve seen paddling around.” She grinned at Mo. “Though they are fascinating,” she added. “Did you see the ones with the pink patches? They can dive up to a hundred feet and hold their breath for an hour, you know!”

  “Charlie,” Leo tried to drag her out of her zoological reverie. “Unless you plan on training one to get us there …”

  “Right.” She shook her head as if to clear it. “Not helpful, sorry. But we could construct a raft?” She looked to Grace for her input. “It wouldn’t be that difficult. There’s loads of material we can use back on the mainland of Floreana, and I could make some twine out of some of the vegetation. Sort of a Tarzan vibe, perhaps?”

  “Or we could pretend we’re stranded and flag down some tourists. Maybe we could ask them to take us where we need to be?” Mary suggested. You could always count on her for the most civilized, kindest ideas.

  “And then we could take over their ship when they’re not looking!” Charlie said. (She could always be counted on for the ideas that would land us in the most trouble.)

  Leo shook his head, sending his wet hair into choppy angles against his forehead. “Too dangerous. If they get worried about us, they might call the cruise line authorities around here. A bunch of kids on their own? No adult in their right mind would be okay ushering us to a remote location totally unsupervised.”

  “What other choice do we have?” I asked. “If we don’t get to the southern coast to pick up this so-called most dangerous tech”—I rolled my eyes at the phrase—“then our mission fails, and we’re toast.”

  Beside me, Charlie rubbed her bright red shoulders. “Burnt toast,” she added, wrapping a towel over the growing burn on her shoulders.

  Grace eyed the horizon, and for a moment, I couldn’t tell where she ended and the ocean began. She seemed to come alive next to the sea, like a houseplant that hasn’t been watered in years. She began to hum the little rhythm she’d taught us, and a small note of mischief crossed her face.

  “You can take the pirate out of the ocean. But you can never take the ocean out of the pirate.” Her hand extended in front of her, pointing at the mottled image of something tall and gray looming in the water a few hundred yards away.

  A ship.

  It wasn’t ours, of course. It probably belonged to some tourists. I was beginning to see an inkling of Grace’s plan.

  “There’s our ride,” she said.

  I blinked into the distance. “Are you sure?” I questioned. “You want to steal a ship? Haven’t we done enough of that lately? Stealing high-ticket modes of transportation? That’s some bad karma.” I was speaking, of course, of our last mission, when we’d stolen a jet plane to save the world. Stealing planes was so last month.

  “Borrow,” she said. “Tourists don’t spend the day on their ships around here. They’re off exploring, remember? We borrow it, take it to the southern coast. Boom, done. We can bring it back after.”

  “What about the tourists?” Mary said. “They’ll be stuck on the island without food or water.”

  Grace shook her head. “Not if we leave them all their supplies. We’ve got enough for us. Plus, there are other tour groups and scientific studies going on around here, and they’ll be easy to spot onshore.”

  Leo stretched his arms above his head and let out a loud yawn. “Well,” he said, bending down to touch his toes to limber up after his dive, “I guess it’s settled, then. Ready to steal a ship, me hearties? Yo ho, yo ho …” he began.

  Grace grinned at him. “A pirate’s life for me.”

  There are three ways to steal a ship. The first is to barrel in like a grizzly, flinging ropes around and making demands until you get the thing moving. The second option is to plan everything to the last detail and be very sneaky: Figure out who is going to keep watch, who’s going to man the ship’s wheel, who’ll navigate, and who will distract anyone who needs distracting.

  The third way to steal a ship is very simple: You wing it.

  I don’t recommend any of these options, to be honest, but desperate times and all. We decided to go with option three.

  “Are you sure these boogie boards of yours are going to hold us up until we get to the ship?!” I gripped my homemade flotation device tightly against my chest and belly as the team kicked through the water. My neck craned to stay out of the salty ocean, but the waves were picking up fast, sending foamy spray straight up my nose. Charlie had gotten to be Tarzan after all, and fashioned us floating boards out of driftwood and vines from the island. We tied them together in a flying-V goose formation so we could stick side by side and stay afloat as we swam the short distance out to the ship.

  At least, they were supposed to float. I was choking on an awful lot of salt water and fish poop for someone who was supposed to be leisurely gliding along.

  “They’ll last!” Charlie sputtered. She spit an arc of water at me through the air, narrowly missing my ear. She was second from the middle of our formation, next to Grace, who held the lead position. But when it came to these islands, Charlie was nobody’s second banana. “I know ev
ery single thing about these islands! I’m not about to give you shoddy floaties that let you sink!”

  “What’s that fish always saying?” Bert’s voice rose above the noise of the waves. “Just keep swimming! Come on, guys, I feel like I’m doing more than my fair share of the work here!”

  “Your legs are longer!” Mary cried. “We’re relying on you to do the lion’s share!”

  “I never signed on for that!” he bellowed back, but kept kicking hard.

  “Hey!” Leo said, his breath coming out in choppy spurts. “Where does seaweed go to find a job?”

  “Oh, no you don’t!” said Bert. “No ocean puns, Leo!”

  “The kelp wanted section!” Leo’s gleeful laugh rose over the sound of the waves.

  I laughed, nearly choking on another mouthful of water. “How did the shark plead in the murder case?” I joined in. “Not gill-ty!”

  We wailed with laughter as Bert groaned again. “If I wasn’t about to barf because of the seasickness, that pun would have done it! You’re killin’ me, Tesla!”

  “Guys!” Grace yelled. “We’re almost there! No fighting on the floaties in the middle of the ocean, or I will turn this thing around and go back to shore, and you will never be allowed on another trip to recover dangerous technology again. Do you hear me?”

  “Yes, Graaaace,” we all intoned in unison.

  Fortunately, Grace was right. The ship that had been smaller in the distance was now almost directly on top of us. Only a couple of strokes more to go!

  I hacked on another mouthful of salt water and tried to bargain with my racing heart. Just a few more minutes! Don’t fail me now! And then I promise you I will never force you to work like this again!

  We must have all been begging for the workout to be over, because we nearly crashed right into the side of the ship. It gleamed in the sunlight, with deep cherrywood beams forming the hull and a delicate white trim. A smattering of barnacles stuck to the sides, disappearing into the deep green water.

  “Tesla!” Grace shouted, barely able to catch her breath. “Go for it!”

  It was my job to scale the side of the ship and lower a rope for everyone. Gritting my teeth, I held tight to my mangled boogie board and reached around to my backpack, which I’d strapped as high as possible up onto my shoulders. Pickles nipped at my hand sharply as I dug around inside.

  “I know, buddy.” I moved quickly to avoid her teeth. “Sit tight in there. We’re almost out of the water.”

  I could practically hear her sneer in annoyance as I found what I needed and latched the flap shut again before she could escape.

  “These Gecko Gloves of yours had better work, Nikki!” Charlie said. “My legs are killing me!”

  I shook the two adhesive gloves in the air, drying them off. “They’ll work!” I said. I’d made them from the same material as my communication dots: a stick-to-any-surface invention that mimicked gecko feet. I hadn’t expected to need them so quickly, but it sure beat trying our odds with duct tape or one of Charlie’s homemade vine ladders.

  I kicked again, positioning myself as close to the side of the ship as possible. Leo shimmied underneath my boogie board so he could help hoist me high enough out of the water to get a good connection with the ship’s hull.

  “Upsy-daisy!” he said, grabbing my calf and giving it a hard shove. The others joined in, connecting their hands to form a net beneath me and push me out of the water.

  I stretched up as high as I possibly could. Thwap! The glove connected with the ship perfectly and, instantly, some of my weight shifted from Leo and the board below to my right arm.

  Sweat poured from my forehead and dripped into my eyes, mingling with salt water. I shoved off from their hands again, and thwapped my left hand higher than the right. My arms now supported my full weight, and I hung suspended from the ship with both hands.

  Have you ever seen one of those little suction-cup stuffed animals? The ones that people stick up inside car windows? That should give you a pretty good idea of what I looked like. Only more waterlogged.

  “Now!” I huffed, my shoulders screaming with the pain of holding myself up.

  Below me, Mary and Charlie stripped off my shoes and slipped a second set of gloves onto my feet. You know, foot gloves, with toes and everything.

  “Done!” Mary yelled. “Try climbing!”

  I forced on my game face. You can do this, Tesla. You are going to Spider-Man crawl your way up the side of this ship. It is the only way to ensure you do not become shark food. Now, GO.

  I pushed off my left foot with a grunt and began the climb.

  “Shouldn’t Bert be doing this?!” I barked down at the others, unable to control my panting. “Longer legs …” I took another difficult step, working against gravity the entire time as I crawled on all fours up the side of the hull. “Cover more …” Another step. “Distance!”

  I didn’t need to see Bert to know he was lifting his finger in protest. “Technically, it would take me greater energy to move the distance, because I’m much bigger! You could have taken your backpack off though. You’re probably feeling that extra few pounds right now, huh?”

  I snarled at him and kept up the work. My hands ached with exertion, and my butt was going to fall off any second. But I’d almost reached the deck of the ship, where I’d be able to haul myself up.

  Just a few more inches … There!

  I moaned something unintelligible as I positioned my elbows over the wood railing and gave one last kick with my feet. I tumbled onto the main deck in a heap of sogginess and exhaustion.

  “Remind me never to do that again!” I wailed, thrashing my arms up over my face to shield from the too-bright sun above me. I shimmied my backpack off my shoulders and tugged at the flap, checking for Pickles. She was a little disheveled from all the water, but seemed to be as happy as I was to be on dry land. Er … dry ship.

  “There you go, girl,” I said. I let her out to scurry around the deck.

  “Tesla!” Grace’s voice boomed from below. “Lower the lifeline for us!”

  “Hold on to your britches!” I wheezed. “I’m in the process of dying here!”

  “Can you die a little faster?” Charlie joked. “I’m cold!”

  “Yeah, and I’m hungry!” Bert added. “Aren’t you feeling a bit peckish, Leo? I bet you’d really go for some lunch, huh?”

  “I could eat,” Leo piped up from below.

  I shook my head at their teasing. “It’s all fun and games till you have to gecko your way up a ship,” I muttered. “Okay, okay, I’m coming!”

  I forced myself to stand on shaky legs and began scouring the railing for a ladder or rope that I could send over for the others. Bucket. Useless. Pad of paper. Ugh. Finally, I found what we needed.

  “Guys!” I yelled over the side. “Swim over to the front of the ship by the bowsprit!” I pointed.

  “What on earth is a bowsprit?” Bert called back.

  “What, you didn’t read the manual on this thing?!” I led them over to where a long post jutted out from the front of the ship. A pile of netting secured to the top would be perfect for them to climb.

  “Heads up!” I yelled. I untied the mess of netting and let it fall.

  I have to admit, watching Bert trying to navigate the shaky net was one of the funniest things I’d ever seen. He was like a dizzy spider trying to untangle himself from a web.

  “You’re all elbows and knees, Bert!” I giggled. “Put your back into it!”

  When everyone was on board, Pickles scampered up to us again, slipping and sliding on the polished deck. The fresh ocean air brought out her playful side, and her eyes shone with excitement, almost as if to say, What’s next?!

  Mary leaned over to pick her up and let my ferret nestle into her shoulder and ear. “Good girl, Pickles,” she said. “You were very brave. And I think we need to especially thank Nikki for all her hard work scaling this ship.”

  I bit back a smile and batted my lashes at Bert. �
�I’m waiting.”

  He bowed low. “Nikola Tesla, you are by far the most accomplished user of gecko hands I’ve ever seen. Brava!”

  I grinned smugly. “Thanks,” I said. “I’m glad the hard part is over.”

  Grace snorted. “That’s an optimistic outlook,” she said. “You do realize we still need to sail this ship to the south and break into a highly secured secret cave, right?”

  I frowned. “Sure, but first …” I gripped my growling stomach. “I have something to ask you.”

  “I know, I know. Lunch first, right?”

  The domed cave loomed in front of us like a hungry mouth looking for a meal. After sailing with the wind for hours, taking some catnaps (and ferret naps), and stuffing our faces with protein bars from our packs, it had turned out to be a pretty great day. I mean, not including the whole stealing-a-ship thing. And my aching shoulders that would probably never forgive me for the horrible workout they’d had.

  According to Martha’s instructions, the secured vault containing the ring we were supposed to steal was inside the cave’s mouth. The ocean floor sloped low right beside the rocks, so we navigated as close to the land as we dared.

  “For a group of geniuses who are supposed to help people,” Charlie began, “we do an awful lot of stealing.” She examined the drawing of the vault that Leo had pieced together from some of Martha’s notes. We had no idea how deep the path into the cave would lead, so we were packing extra supplies just in case.

  “Do you think we could ever, like, ask very nicely to have whatever is inside a vault we’re stealing from? It might be easier. Pretty please?” Charlie tossed her ponytail over her shoulder and pouted, sticking out her lower lip.

  “Robin Hood stole all the time, and he was one of the good guys. Do you think he asked for an easier job when he was working?” Grace smirked at her.

  “Everyone take a head lamp!” Leo said, opening his pack and wringing out some of the water from its straps. “I have no idea what to expect in there, but you can bet whatever we’re facing, it’s going to be in the dark. Grace is going to drop anchor right outside the cave, so we should be able to hop over to dry land without needing to swim. But … leap big, guys.”